A.N. Hey guys, so this is my first ever fanfiction so let me know what you think. Please review because A) reviews are love and B) I swear I won't even start chapter two until I get at least 3 reviews saying that the story should continue. Now I want you to be truthful in your reviews, but please don't be too harsh, like I said first fic ever. And big thanks to my beta hpgirl4ever!

A.N. 2. Italicized like this is dream sequence


Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, locations, or anything else cannon no matter how much I want too. That right goes to the ever awesome (except for the fail epilogue) J.K. Rowling.

Warning: OOC, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Slash, possibly attempted suicide later, and I should say there possibly might be cutting so a trigger alert. Not your thing don't read!


Once again Harry cried himself to sleep. "Why am I feeling these things?" he asked himself for the millionth time, "I can't be gay! Being gay is bad!"

Harry had been going through this same thing over and over again. He'd been raised, despite it being by terrible people, to think being gay was wrong, and though he didn't hate gays, he still didn't like them.

But everything had changed, his world was being turned upside down and broken into a million little pieces, he had started having feelings for guys.

It had all started in third year when Seamus came out that he was bi, after that Harry started questioning himself; and then even thinking himself to be bi. Later he just put it off as "teenagers being curious", but that summer when Harry went back to the Dursley's, it changed.

Harry was sitting in the back of the Dursley's car, they couldn't find him a babysitter so he had to go with them to pick up Dudley from his friend's party across town; and when Vernon Dursley, a fat man with nearly no neck and all stomach, decided to take the back streets to avoid rush hour, Harry saw men, dressed in outrageous clothes; later he found out it was called drag.

He heard his uncle muttering "stupid gays, poufs," and it went on for so long until Vernon said out loud "Dudley, Harry, stay away from those evil, devil worshipping, bugger loving, poufs."

It was then that Harry felt any real guilt about being bi and a dislike toward gays. He also decided that he was firmly straight.

'Why? Why? WHY? I can't be, I can't. I like girls! I went out with Cho, I'm going out Ginny! I can't be gay!' finally sleep claimed Harry, fitful as it was, it was his only escape.

Draco walked up to him, "Hey Harry," he said before he leaned in to kiss Harry ever so gently on the lips.

Harry awoke with a start, and started crying, 'No, no, no! Not again!' he thought as he cried for a while until it was only slight hiccoughs. 'I really need to talk to someone, but whom... Ron! Charlie's gay and the twins are bi! Maybe he can help!'

Harry went back to sleep feeling slightly better, the prospect of talking to someone lightening Harry's confusion.

"Dear Ron, I really need to talk and I can only think to talk to you. It's not urgent but I really need someone I can trust please owl me back when you can. Harry." with that Harry went over to his beautiful snowy owl Hedwig.

"Hey girl, take this to Ron's" he handed her a few owl treats, tied the parchment to her leg, brought her to his window and let her take off into the sunrise.

A.N. Please review and let me know what you think. And like I said I won't even start chapter 2 until I get three reviews letting me know the story is worth continuing.