Wouldn't Change A Thing
Dear Joe,
Alone, again.
It's been the same thing every night, for the past two weeks, since the 'thing' happened I would feed the kids, get dinner ready, set the table, put the kids to sleep, wait for you to come home, but you don't show. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but my heart breaks every single time you don't show.
I miss you; it hurts me knowing you can't even sleep in the same bed as me. The first week, you would sleep on the couch, now you've resorted to not even showing up. I can't even remember the last time you said you loved me. I can't look at Adam in the face, without wanting to break down and cry. He looks so much like you. Riley, all she does is ask about you. What am I suppose to tell them 'Daddy doesn't love you anymore' 'Daddy's not coming home anymore', you don't call you don't write, they might as well, not even call you Daddy and just call you Joe. Last time I checked they were still your children, you might not want anything to do with me, but the least you can do is acknowledge your children. What the point of putting them through some much hurt. I guess that six years of marriage and three children mean nothing to you.
Its fine, I guess you don't want anything to do with them. I saw you the other day. I took Adam to his soccer game, remember the one you volunteered to help with, well I did, and so did your son. He cried the whole way Joe; I've never seen him like this. How does that make you feel? Like shit? Oh I hope so. Oh and don't forget Riley's Father/Daughter Dance at school, the one you couldn't attend, because she told everyone you were away on business. You know she hates lying Joseph. What about Liam? He's one years old Joe. He doesn't even remember you, that don't mean you can just forget about him. He needs a father figure. I don't plan on having another man raise my children, when I know their father is more the capable. They don't need a father figure, they need their father. Liam said his first word yesterday. Guess what it was? 'Dada' it broke my heart. He keeps repeating it, over and over again, and every time he does he points to the door. He knows Joe. He knows your not coming back anytime soon.
We fought, I get it. But we've fought over so many other things. But we always made up. When you forgot our wedding anniversary. When you were late to Riley's ballet recital, even when you missed Adam's soccer game. We forgave you. Not this time Joe. What you did this time, is unforgivable. I still remember walking into your office and seeing you and her together. Her topless on top of you. You kissing her the way you used to kiss me. It hurts me knowing she's the reason you would come home late. She was the reason every time I kissed you, you'd just turn your head. She's the reason you haven't told me you love in over a month. She the reason I'm writing this letter to you, the reason I'm crying. The reason I don't want you in this house anymore. I don't even sleep in our bed anymore. I haven' touched it since the week you left. I pass by our room, and I feel the coldness inside. Your side of the bed hasn't been touched since you started sleeping on the couch. I haven't slept more then 4 hours a night, because I keep thinking I hear you care parking in the driveway. But i guess it's just my mind playing stupid silly games.
I've been feeling sick lately, ever since you left. I went to the doctors. I thought it was just heartache, but oh was I wrong. I got the greatest news. I'm pregnant. I wish you were there with me, when I found out, but no, you were fucking your secretary. I'm six weeks along, in case you wanted to know. I had my first ultrasound. Its twins. I was surprised. I never thought, I'd get pregnant with twins, but I did. And now I'm doing this alone, because you're a fucking coward. I still cannot believe you let that skank ruin our marriage. I have you eight years Joe. Those are jus the years we were together as a couple. Don't forget the other three years of friendship. You were my best friend. I trusted you with everything. Then you told me you loved me, and happily ever after right? Wrong?
I'm trying to move one, trying to forget you. But it's hard, I can't just forget you. You've been apart of my life for almost ten years. But you let her ruin that. Does she kiss you like I did? Does she fuck you like I did? Does she make you scream like I did? Does you cook you breakfast in bread like I did? Did she love you like I did? That's all I want to know Joe. Why? When you have the guts and the balls to come face me and apologize for what you did, to me and to this family including the ones to come, maybe and maybe I'll try to forgive you and work through it. It's going to be hard Joe. I still love, I can't stop. All I keep doing is wondering what happened the day you did. I hate you Joe, but I wouldn't change a thing, about you.
I love you, forever and always
Demi Jonas.
I held the letter in my hands. I felt every emotion she was letting out. I look at the words, and I feel hurt, betrayal, disgust, envy. I know what I did was wrong, but I only did it out of lust, not love, I could never love some one like I love her.
All I do is read this letter over and over again, in my mother's basement. My own parents can't even look at me. I don't blame them. I can't look my self in the mirror.
Twins, twins. I was going to become a father to twins. I could just imagine, two beautiful healthy babies running around. I love my children. I love my two sons and my beautiful daughter. It hurts not being able to see them everyday. But I know I was the one who made the decision to walk out.
I know Demi; I know she doesn't want anything to do with me any more. I look at this letter I see, the end. The end of anything Demi and I had. It's gone. But I love her; I just wish she knew that. She's so stubborn, but I wouldn't change a thing about her.
Soooo? How did you guys like it? Honeslty i have very proud of what i have written, i just hope you guy enjoy reading it as much as i enoyed writing it. Remeber I own nothing but the plot it's self.
Reviews make me smile :)
