Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation.

Cyanide is not a story for the faint of hearted, it is not pleasant, and depicts harsh truths. This is the only warning I will write about this story.

Cyanide- Chapter 1

How did things ever go to shit like this? I suppose it doesn't really matter, they're about to end either way. I guess I should start at the beginning or should I say the beginning of the end? It goes back to two and a half years ago when I was 21.

I laid there on the cold, hard concrete my body sore. It had happened again, I had been raped; a part of me wondered if I should be crying but I just laid there cold. My rapists were long gone but what they did, their words, still echoed in my head. Apparently I had gotten too big for my britches and someone thought I should be knocked down a few notches- almost another Aizawa Taki. I rolled over onto my stomach and pushed myself up, grimacing as I felt something slide down my thigh, I didn't even bother to look down- after all it could only be one of two things: blood or cum. As I limped back to the apartment I shared with my lover, Yuki Eiri, one thought replayed over and over in my mind: NEVER AGAIN, I would not be raped again; I would die before I let that happen again or someone else would. I walked into the apartment and called Yuki's name, there was no answer so I walked into his office to find him typing on his laptop. He looked up when I entered and snarled,

"What do you want brat?"

I walked further into the office and his face turned white before contorting in anger, "Who?" he bit out from gritted teeth.

I shook my head, I myself didn't know who the who was. I could also imagine what I looked like, torn clothing, bruises that would look worse tomorrow- I had gotten a beating with the rape- and something I wasn't sure about, since I had decided not to look, running down my leg. Yuki turned back to his laptop, staring into the white screen as if it held the answers to life before turning back to me and biting off,

"Well? What are you waiting for? Get yourself cleaned up."

A gasp left my lips as I stared at Yuki in shock before backing out the room.

Something in me broke that night years ago when I got raped and the last remnants of it shattered with Yuki. I lost my naiveté and innocence and became someone who swore never to become the victim. If I could pinpoint where exactly things started to degenerate to the point we've reached now I'd say it started when Yuki told me to clean myself up, when Yuki rejected me. Whatever broke then never repaired itself and remained a gaping hole; it might have even affected my later actions, who knows? It might have started my need to become the perfect person, it might have started the decision to become Eiri's Yuki.

AN: That's the first chapter. This story won't be a long one and I am currently working on it. If anyone would like to beta it please let me know and I will get back to you; there won't be any perks for being my beta except getting to read the stories before they come out and seeing any new ones I come up with.