Don't
Author:
The Main Slayer
Rating: PG, for character death
Summary: A
little more to the final fight between Buffy & Angel with a
little happy twist at the end.
Timeline: Buffy season
three
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The song 'Don't!' is
copyright to Shania Twain and her producers.
--
Buffy stared at Angel in disbelief. Was this really happening? Was he really turning his back on everything that they had? Buffy's eyes filled with tears as she stared at her one true love.
"I want my life to be with you." She pleaded with him. Angel looked away and then locked eyes with her. His eyes speaking volumes as to what the truth really was.
"I don't." Buffy's mouth fell open as she let a single tear fall down her face.
"I can't believe this is happening." Buffy looked to Angel as if to see if she could find the truth hidden in his words. He loved her. She knew that he did but he was turning away from her. He was really leaving!
"Angel!" Buffy yelled to him. She ran to him and put her arms around him, "I know you don't mean this! Please tell me this is a lie! You love me, I know you do!" Angel tried to move away from her but her strength as the Slayer held him.
"It's the truth. This has to be over." Angel pushed her aside and continued to move down the sewer tunnel. Buffy chased after him and allowed her pain and sadness show with tears staining her face.
"No! I don't accept that!" Buffy yelled at him.
Don't!
Don't
you wish we'd tried?
Do you feel what I feel inside?
You know
our love is stronger than pride
No, Don't!
Angel stopped. He turned to the young Slayer and showed only a moment of distress. Buffy stopped and let him gather his thoughts. There wasn't much to think about. He had to end this. It was for the best. It was for her.
"Yes! It has to be. You are too young to understand why I am doing this," Angel let a tear fall down his face, "You have to just let it go. Its over." Angel turned to leave again only to find Buffy's hand grabbing at his arm.
"There has to be more to it. You are not telling me everything. Make me understand why this is over. Make me understand." Buffy's tears continued to soak her face as she searched Angel's for answers.
Don't
let your anger grow
Just tell me what you need me to know
Please
talk to me – don't close the door
I want to hear you
Want
to be near you
Angel flexed his jaw muscles and searched for the words that would explain why he was leaving. He knew that whatever he told her, she would take as a lie. She knew him too well. She was too young to understand that he was doing this for her. So that she could have her normal life that she wanted.
"I want a normal life."
Angel looked down at the Slayer's small hand, and placed his hand over it. He knew there would be no way. She would never accept it. Not ever.
"There is no way to make you understand. It's too complicated. Please, just accept it. Let me go." Angel said to her trying to escape from her grasp.
"No!" Buffy shouted at him, "There is something. You are just not saying it. I don't care about all those things! I don't care about what you said. All I care about is you. That is all I want from life! Don't you understand that?"
"What life? Buffy you have hardly begun living your life. You are 18 years old. You are a child. What would you know about a life?" Angel asked as he moved to stare at the wall.
"I know enough to know that I'm not letting you walk away from me. I have a life Angel, and I know what my life is. I'm the Slayer. There is no way around that. I am the Slayer today, tomorrow, and in the future. You make sense to me."
"You are the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me."
Angel laughed at that, "You know nothing about living and life!"
"Why don't you let me decide that!" Buffy shouted at him. Angel turned his back on her and bowed his head. Not in defeat but in prayer. She had no idea what life was about. She had only just begun.
Don't
fight! Don't argue!
Give
me the chance to say that I'm sorry
Just let me love you
Don't
turn me away – don't tell me to go
"Buffy, you will want a life. What you have been living is only the beginning of what a human life is capable of. You will want a family, I can't have one! You will want to get married, I don't! You will want to make love to someone, I CAN'T! I'm stuck. And I won't let you get stuck with me!" Angel moved towards her and grabbed her arms violently.
"This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily every after."
Buffy looked into her lover's eyes and softened her glare. She had to make him understand. She had to. She was about to lose the one thing in her life that held meaning. That made her feel like she wasn't some death trap waiting to happen. Buffy let Angel hold her. What would she do, fight him, physically? There was no match. She couldn't hurt him, not now, not ever.
"None of that matters. Do you think that being the Slayer will let me have those things? That they will let me go on a year leave to have a baby? Let me get married and have all the things a normal girl should have? I am already stuck, Angel! There is no way out of what I am. I am the Chosen One, and you are the one thing that doesn't make it seem like a prison." Angel loosened his grip on her and moved away from her.
"You have no idea what it means to be with someone who isn't dead! Who isn't constricted to the dark and dank? You deserve so much better than me. I deserve to be alone for the rest of my life. After what I've done to this world, I should just be dead and leave this world so that it can carry on without anymore destruction from me!" Angel allowed his mind to wander to the possibility that they may have a normal life, but he quickly dismissed it and pushed himself to do what is right.
"Is that what this is about? You being a vampire?" Buffy asked him.
"No." Angel replied.
"It is. Don't you trust me? Don't you think that I know what you are and don't care? Why do you think that the vampire part would bother me now when it never has?" Buffy asked him as she moved towards him. Don't! Don't give up on trust
Don't
give up on me – on us
If we could just hold on long enough
We
can do it!
We'll get through it!
Angel looked away from her. Buffy held up her hand and held his face in her palm. Buffy held him and forced his eyes to look at her.
"I already told you, I don't care about that. I don't care about any of it. I only care about you!" Buffy moved closer to him but Angel moved away.
"Oh, I didn't even notice."
"Buffy, please. Just, let it be. Let it end. I can't do it anymore." Angel said to her.
"Buffy, please. Just this once, let me be strong."
"Can't do what?" She asked, "Please Angel, just talk to me about this before you end what we have." Angel laughed. She wasn't going to let this go. Angel couldn't let this continue. He turned to her and pushed her violently against the wall of the sewer.
"I've had enough! This is over. Don't talk to me again." Angel moved to the entrance of the sewer and left the Slayer. Buffy stayed against the wall for a moment and then forced herself to go after him. Buffy climbed out from the sewer to find that Angel wasn't alone. He was surrounded by a group of vampires. He was fighting them off the best he could but he was emotionally drained from his argument with Buffy. Buffy joined in the fight only to find that Angel wasn't going to let her fight.
"Buffy! Leave it!" Angel yelled.
"NO! I won't let you fight alone." Buffy punched a vampire in the face and turned to see her lover struggle with 5 vampires that had pinned him to the ground. Buffy rushed to his aid and killed two vampires before moving away to take care of a vampire that tried to flee. Angel forced the vampires back only to discover that the way Buffy was headed was right into a trap. Panic rose in Angel's voice as he tried to warn her.
"Buffy, no! Come back!" Angel punched one of the last remaining vampires and bolted after Buffy. Buffy continued to follow the vampire unaware of what Angel was trying to tell her. When she noticed that Angel was following her she turned to him. He was yelling at her but she couldn't hear him. Before she knew it, a sword sliced through her causing her to gasp with shock.
"No!" Angel yelled.
Don't
fight! Don't argue!
Give me the chance to say that I'm
sorry
Just let me love you
Don't turn me away – don't
tell me to go
Buffy fell to the ground. She turned around to face her attacker. Faith smiled at Buffy as she disappeared into the shadows. Buffy clutched her stomach and hit the ground. Angel fell to his knees and cradled Buffy in his arms. He had to get her to the hospital or she wouldn't survive. He tried to move her but she cried out in pain. Angel allowed himself to cry. He hadn't cried in years. He never allowed himself to feel the pain of sadness. He had caused so much sadness, that he believed that his sadness was not worth giving or expressing. Buffy looked up at Angel and placed hand on his cheek.
"Angel…" Buffy coughed.
"Shh. Don't say a word. Conserve your energy." Angel held Buffy as her friends rounded the corner. Willow, Oz, Xander, Cordelia, Giles, and Buffy's mother all watched as the vampire cried. Joyce watched, as Buffy lay helpless on the ground.
"Angel…" Buffy said again.
"No, it will be okay. I'm going to save you." Angel said as he tried to pick her up again. Buffy cried out and Angel set her back down. Buffy looked up at him and only smiled.
"I love you." She simply said.
"I love you." Angel replied allowed tears to soak his face.
"I know." Buffy managed.
Don't
pretend that it's okay
Things won't get better that way
Don't
do something you might regret someday
Don't!
Angel held Buffy as she began to grow colder and colder. She looked up at him and wiped away his tears. Buffy laughed.
"What?" Angel asked her.
"I've never seen you cry before. Not until now." Buffy said to him. Angel smiled at her and gave her a shrug.
"What can I say, never saw the need." Buffy smiled at him and laughed again. She groaned in pain and coughed. Blood poured from her mouth and from the gapping wound in her side. Angel knew that if he had tried to pull it from her side, she would surely die.
"I'm sorry for what I said to you. Can you ever forgive me?" Angel asked her.
"I knew you were a liar. You were never good at lying." Buffy said to him as her blood stained the grass below her.
"It is not one of my strong qualities." Angel replied.
"I know," Buffy said, "And yes, I forgive you."
"Thank you." Angel replied. Buffy coughed again and knew that her death was coming. Knew that there was nothing she could do to stop it. Nothing that anyone could do. She saw her friends and her mother and smiled. She had but moments before there was nothing but darkness.
"Angel," Buffy said.
"Yes?"
"Will you do me a favor?" She asked him.
"Anything." Angel replied.
"Kiss me." Angel bent down and kissed her. The kiss was soft at first but grew with passion and need, with sadness and pain. This would be their last moment together, their last kiss. Angel held Buffy in his arms as he took her last breath from her. He may be dead, but at least he could stop her pain. Buffy's arm wrapped around Angel's neck and pulled him closer. Giving her last breath to the man whom would always have her heart. Buffy's arms slowly slide from around Angel's neck and fell to the ground. Her eyes fell open and looked up at the night sky. Her eyes filled with tears that would never be shed became sullen. Her body went limp and her skin fell cold. Angel cried as he continued to kiss her. Hoping that maybe his kiss could bring her back. Angel let her go and held her face in his hands.
"No, please come back. Don't leave me here. Not alone." Angel's voice cracked as he spoke to the lifeless body of the Slayer. Angel couldn't let her go even when Giles moved him away from her. Angel let Giles take his arm and moved him away from the body before him. Angel's back fell against a tombstone as he looked on. She was gone. And the last thing that had transpired between them was a fight. At least I was able to tell her that I loved her. That I love her.
--
Angel stood at the Slayers grave. Only hours before had she been buried. Only hours before had her friends and family wept for her. The Mayor had taken Sunnydale. Leaving only a few survivors. Angel had managed to save her friends, and her mother. It was the least he could have done for her. Angel knew that he would love no other the way he had Buffy. She was the only one in his life and he would spend the rest of his days tracking down Faith and the Mayor for what they had done to her.
"I'll never let you go," Angel said to her as he placed roses on her grave. Angel looked up at the night sky and let a tear fall, "Never.
"Don't
fight! Don't argue!
Give me the chance to say that I'm
sorry
Just let me love you
Don't turn me away – don't
tell me to go
