I don't own IE but you've already known it. And yes, there's also Hinata form "Angel Beats!" just because I needed him.
Enjoy yourself.
Midorikawa woke up feeling unsure. Something was going on and he didn't know what. Without even looking at clock he'd already known that it was way too far to sunrise. He looked for a familiar figure but there was no one else in the room. It was kinda odd. They had had a habbit of sleeping in one room since... Honetsly, he did not know how long they've been doing it. But it didn't matter then, what mattered was where was his companion. He was behaving strange lately as if he was angry with Ryuuji.
Sighing, Midorikawa stood up and headed towards the balcony of their tiny flat. The missing one was sitting outside and was skygazing. Yeah, sky, not star because of lack of stars at that night sky.
"Baby forgive me, did I do something wrong?" asked Midorikawa slightly worried. The mentioned boy hardly ever used that kind of words and then did it intentionally. However, there was no respons. He was just ignored.
"Hiroto..." starting one more time, Midorikawa patted the other's arm. Redhead shook off his hand and sighed quietly.
"I don't wanna talk, can't we just let it go?" replied Kiyama. He sounded exhausted. His voice was so cold. Chills went down Mido's spine. He shivered a little. He knew it! He knew! Something had changed and he didn't know what and why but he could feel it hadn't been a good change. Hiroto was sitting there but his thoughts, his heart, his mind was so far away. Just like he wanted to leave it all behind him.
"What could be so bad that you'd leave me hangin' on?" the tanned male tried to make his beloved speak but with no results. Could it be that he just gave up on them? Could it be he didn't have any more patience and strengh to fight about that relationship? Did the society opinion trouble him that much? Midorikawa'd known that Kiyama had always problems with other people opinion. You can't say it by just loooking at him, but Mido knows him the best and the longest so there're no secrets between them. Or he'd thought so.
"Let's breake up" after long silence, Hiroto finally opened his mouth. But what he'd said wasn't what Mido wanted to hear.
"Why...?" his own voice refused to comply. Redhead stood up and passed the shocked ex-partner. Midorikawa had to lean against wall, his legswas weak at knees.
"I'm not doin' time, this is not the scene of a crime" that're last words Kiyama told Ryuuji but the heartbroken one didn't understand wthat the other meant.
They were no more living together. They were no more close to each other. And every night Midorikawa wasn't laughing or lying so close that person. The memory of that sad night was coming to his mind every night for about three months. Sighing and trying hard not to cry, Mido sat on his- now the only one in that flat- bed. Hiroto'd left him.
"I lay in bed at night contemplating, why the hell you gotta keep me waiting?" he whispered to himself. Yeah. He still hoped that Kiyama would show himself in his- their- doors during a beautiful and peaceful sunrise saying he wanted to be together again.
Ryuuji's been believing in t\it so hard that he's been woking up every sunrise. An every time he jumped to his feet, he saw such beautiful view and brust into tears. Those teras were so bitter that it killed his heart every morning.
After a half of the fourth month, Mido started to have dreams about Hiroto leaving him alone on that damn balcony. And after those painful dreams he woke up just to see those stupid and so gorgeous sunrises.
Several times- after that kinds of nights- he called his ex-boyfriend and tried to talk to him. However, after a few words Hiroto ended a call. After about three calls he even stopped responding. It hurted a lot.
Mido took his cellphone in his fist and stared on it.
"Every time I try to get a little closer, you shut down and the conversation's over..." he said and tears started to form in his eyes. "I'm right here, but you leave me in the dark."
Actually, even with broken heart you have to go out and at least buy food. So did Midorikawa. At first, he wanted to go to another part of city. He did not want to be in places he used to go with his beloved. But it was to strong and Mido finally found himself in favourite Kiyama's shop and in front of that guy favourite cake. He felt awful. He needed to go out. Now.
"No" he rebuked himself in thoughts. "You're an adult now. You're almost twenty and you've to behave like one. Be barve, buy what you need and leave that hellish place."
After sending cake the last glance, he turned and accidentaly ran into somebody.
"You should be more careful" said so familiar, yet, so cold voice. How? Why?
"Hiroto..." Ryuuji was amazed. The mentioned guy looked so hot and exhausted and taht made Mido wanted to embrace him, kiss him and make rest on his own knees. "I... I..."
"Sorry, I have to go. I'm busy right now" it was obvious he lied. He took a step away from his tanned ex-boy but the ex couldn't just let him go. Insted, he grabed the other's sleeve.
"Can we talk?" he asked. And add in his thoughts: "Show me your private parts".
"Dunno" was his answer but Ryuujicould sense Kiyama had hard time resisting that request.
After coffee and aa small chat they were in Ryuuji's bed. Hiroto's kissing were just like he himself. Just like Ruji saw him today. Hot, sexy, exhausted and... eager for... love? A feeling? For Mido? Or maybe for their old times in that flat? Who knows? Ryuuji doubted that even Hiroto knew.
In one point, Mido could saw in Hirot's eyes some kind of... distress? Sorrow? Uncertainty?
It touched greenhead heart.
"Give it up baby, what are you afriad of?" he whispered into his beloved ear. Hiroto tried hard not to meet his eyes. Ryuuji hugged him and started saying calming words.
"Love sucks when you don't know what it's made of" Hiroto thought buring his head into boy's neck.
Ryuuji felt it. Both his ex's act and the pain you feel when being so close to one you love and knowing there's no chance for you.
"We get naked but I can't undress your heart" those words echoing in Mido's heart. Deep in his soul he pryed:
"Show me your private parts, show me your private parts!"
As usual, Midorikawa woke up with sunrise. As usual, he stood up and started to looking around in order to see a particular ginger. His part of bed was still a little warm, yet, no one was in Mido's reach. Feeling his heart broking into pices- again- he ran out of bed and reached the balcony. No, no one.
Pain was bigger and bigger so he caught up with door. They were locked and there was a key in his post box. They used to do it when one of them had lost his key. So... Midorikawa was abandoned one more time.
"Ah... upcoming exams are near..." moand one of his classmates but Ryuuji paid no attenion to him. "Midocchi... You... You don't listen to me!" he cried.
"Yeah, I don't, Hinata" answered greenhead not even looking at his navy blue-haired friend. They'd know each other for about two years now. They were good budies and sometimes joked around becuase of Mido's sexuality and Hinata's behaviour.
"And last night you're so..." Mido almost brusted into laugh. Yeah, "last night he" surely had been... playing with him games on Hinata's xbox.
"I was what?" he played along.
"...Good" Hinata wincked. Of course, he always wins with that guy.
"You think so?" they kept walking and passing doors of diffrent classrooms.
"Yeah, I love it." sometimes Mido wondred if Hinata wants to become a comedian. But just in the moment Hinata was suddenly quiet. He looked worried. Mido was going to ask what was going on but then he heard voice.
"Good thing you've been already dating someone" said his ex-boyfriend, patted Ryuuji's head and passed them.
Greenhead also touched that place.
"Ryuu... I'm sorry, I didn't intent to..." Hinata started but his friend didn't listen to him.
"I can't remember the last time that this felt real..." he whispered to himself.
"Midorikawa... You're so quiet, so boring..." complained Nagumo who was trying to make Mido play soccer.
"Oh come on... You used to be a capitan, play with others and even be part of that Raimon team... And now you don't even wanna play."
"Leave him alone" moand Suzuno wanting Nagumo just to shut up.
"So come and play with me" answerd Haruya.
"No. Go and play with Hi-" started Suzuno but then he realized what he was going to say. "Sorry, Midorikawa."
Midorikawa raised his "dead", blank and impassive glance.
"No need to apologize" he said smilling at them. But this smile was forced and felt like cry. It scared the 'ice and fire' duo. They hadn't expected it was so bad.
There was silence for a while.
"You should talk to him" Nagumo couldn't let it be the way it was now.
"I tried..." and one more time they saw that smile. Suzuno glanced.
"He is right. Right now Hiroto is on the 3rd floor. He has a gap hour. Go ahead and fix things" Fuusuke said coldly but deep in his heart he wished his friends a happy ending.
Midorikawa looked like he was unsure. Haruya noticed it.
"What are waiting for?" he snarled at him. Mido shook his head and ran out of room they were then, and headed towards 3rd floor of building of their uni.
"Hey... Why being cruel makes best outcome on them?" asked Haruya.
"Dunno" was all answer he received.
Had his heart ever beated so hard, so powerfuly? He wasn't sure, yet, he knew it wouldn't be for nothing. On that floor was only one classroom, rest of rooms were teachers' and chairman's offices and big library.
He saw Hiroto standing next to window. He was looking through it while packing his stuff.
"Hey! We need to talk!" Ryuuji shouted in despair.
"Why? There's nothing between us anymore. We broken up."
"No. It's not true" Mido didn't even want to listen those cruel words.
"Listen..." Hiroto started but was cut in middle of sentence.
"I would've cut you out, if I didn't love you" greenhead shouted at him. "Please... Talk to me, Hiroto" he finished softly.
Ginger looked unsure. Yes, he was avoiding his ex. Yes, he wanted that reletionship to end but not in the way it was now. He'd known Ryuu wouldn't got along with him after that! He hust wanted them to stay as friends just like they used to.
"Midorikawa, you should have give up on me" Kiyama shighed. "That's not the way we should be. We should be friends. I want you to be my friend, not a lover."
Mido shook his head. "You know I love you".
Hiroto nodded.
"And how can you blame me for feelin' the way I feel?"
Hiroto looked at his ex-lover. He looked terrible. His amazingly tanned skin was oddly pale, his dark, big and shiny eyes were galssy and bloodshot. His beautiful, long and thick hair was dry and looked unhealty. Had the parting had that huge impact on him? Hiroto felt a need to hug the slim teen.
But he couldn't. Friends. They needed to be friends, nothing more. A friend wouldn't hug a person who fall for him. What he, Kiyama Hiroto, really felt towards that person?
"I'm not blaming you, I'm just tryin' to figure it out" he wshispered and finally gave up. He closed gap between them and hugged the other boy.
"Why did you leave me? Did I do something wrong?" Mido cried in Hiroto's arms. An emotion spueezed his heart.
"No... Of course no. You did everything perfectly..." he tried to comfort crying male. It was kinda funny. Now, he was comforting someone really close to him. Someone who brust into tears because of being dumped. And who dumped him? The one who was comforting.
"I can take a little hesitating, I'll wait forever if its worth the waiting" promised Mido.
Leaving his arms, Midorikawa smiled sadly and said:
"They say that silence is gold, but I think that's a lie. You think I already know, but I can't read your mind..." he was with Hiroto one more time. He could have taste those lips again.
"Hiroto, give us one more chance" he said quietly.
"I'm... afraid, Ryuuji, I'm really scared" he replied. "We are both male, we are orphans, we're all by our selves. I'm not sure if I can love you all my life. I don't know if we're able to live that way."
Ryuu undertood. He always had. The future's unknown and scary, besides Hiroto was right. But in that moment nothing could make them cry and suffer.
They needed to lick their wounds.
"Shhhh... I'm here with you" after saying that, Midorikawa leaned over his beloved and kissed him.
Lots of problems are waiting for them. Lots of cruel words and people will hurt them, but they will survive because they finally are together.
Uh... I forgot to say: I tried to write it in manner I was educated in school. I think it sounds diffrent from usual stories. Sometimes, as you can guess, I wasn't sure about form of verbs and other words so yeah... */*
I still have a break but I will be there from time to time. Next time will be when I'll be publishing a requested story about Haruya so see you soon.
