Haunting
Me
Written
by Anne
Disclaimer:
I own nothing. Story copyright.
Rating:
R
Notes:
I had an idea based on the song "Haunted"(yes, I read the
other story that was also based on the same song. I happened to read
it and like it.) By Evanescence. This is Buffy's POV on Angelus and
Angelus' POV on Buffy. Set in S2 after "Innocence".
Long
lost words will spur slowly
To me.
Still can't fight what
keeps me here.
He watches me. I know he does. He watches me every night, waiting. Waiting to kill me. Waiting for me to kill him. I still can't believe that monster was Angel. I know the two are completely different, but I still feel like, like I belong to him in some way. If I kill him, I betray him. But if I submit to him… The person who I am is dead. I'm letting him take me into his world, never to come out again. When all this time I've been so hard, inside. I've become numb to his words. He mocks everything that Angel was. He mocks our relationship. It cuts me so deep. I wonder if he feels anything for me. I know he doesn't have a soul but why is he so obsessed with me? Why does he want to kill me? Does he want to kill me? Maybe he wants to torture me first. Then he'll drive me insane. Maybe he'll do the same things he did to Drusilla to me. Maybe he'll turn me and make me his eternal consort. I shiver at that thought.
Watching
me
Wanting me
I can feel you pull me down.
I watch her from the window. She's so beautiful. So perfect in every way I sometimes wonder why I want to destroy that beauty. I could steal her into the night and turn her. We could be at each other's sides for eternity. I lied that day after she realized something had happened to me. I told her she had a lot to learn about men. She knows men. What she needs to learn about...is I. She needs to know why I am so frustrated, why I want her dead. She made me feel like a human. All of those emotions came to me the second I came back in that alleyway. My thoughts immediately went to the Slayer that had just given me probably the greatest pleasure I will ever have in eternity. Should I go back in and kill her? Get back in the bed with her? No. I didn't do that. I killed the hooker who came and asked me if I was all right and then I walked off.
Feeling
you
Loving you
I won't let you put me down
I love him so much. I still do. It kills me to look at him everyday and know that it's not Angel. It's Angelus. The Scourge of Europe. He and Angel have the same body, but they both are different. Angel's human. Angelus is a monster. And yet I both have feelings for them. But I can't. I have to kill Angelus. I have to. But I can't yet.
Hunting
you
I can smell you - alive
Your heart pounding in my head
Every time I sense her, I then smell that perfect scent of vanilla coming off her body. I want to take her away into the night and fuck her into oblivion. I want her to know that I am not that pitiful soulboy, Angel, but I am Angelus. And that pathetic soulboy knows that I love her in my own twisted way. His emotions have tainted me. If I can't have her, then neither can the world.
Watching
me
Wanting me
I can feel you pull me down.
I sometimes still think he wants me. The way he watches me is peculiar. Last night, he must have watched me sleep because I found a drawing of me next to my bed. It was actually a nice drawing now that I think about it. But in the end, it won't matter. He'll want to kill me. My heart is filled with so much pain right now it hurts to think.
Saving
me
Raping me
Watching me
I want her. I don't care if she doesn't want it. I want it. And I'll get what I want. I always get what I want. I wonder if the drawing did anything to frighten her. I want it to say; "I'm watching you." And I am. Wherever she goes at night, I'll be. Watching. Waiting. For that perfect opportunity to take her.
Watching
me
Wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
My friends don't understand. How can they understand? The first time they saw him as Angelus, he tried to kill Willow. I blame myself for that. Angel said maybe we shouldn't and he was right, although, I had the best night of my life with him. He was so gentle, so graceful, and now he's turned into an animal because of me.
Feeling
you
Loving you
Even though she's making me insane with these emotions, I've got to give her credit. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be here right now, and she knows that. I'd still be her whimpering soulboy. But she's going to get great pain inflicted for these emotions. I can feel her pain already. And I thrive off of it.
I won't let you pull me down.
Haunting Me pt. 2
Author:
Anne
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing at all.
Author's
Notes: A reviewer suggested that I should make more chapters. Well,
here's a new chapter! This is set to Evanescence's song "Hello".
I might do one with "Holding my Last Breath" but I want to
see how this chapter's reviewed. The next chapter is going to be
based on what had been originally planned for some of the cast
(gasp). And by that I mean Oz and Spike!
--
Playground
school bell rings
Again
Last night, he killed Jenny Calendar, our computer teacher. It turns out she was part of the Romani gypsy clan that cursed him. She was watching over us, trying to make sure we didn't get too close and end up making love. But we did. I mean, I almost killed her in front of my class when I had the cemetery dream with her and Angel in it. What he doesn't know is that I'm growing stronger from this experience. I'm ready to kill him.
Rain
clouds come to play
again
I killed that stupid bitch Jenny Calendar last night, and I almost got Buffy's watcher too. I would have finished him off if Buffy hadn't come in. But Jenny was the more important kill. She tried to restore soulboy. She translated the curse and was printing it out for Buffy's gang to use. Or maybe she was intending to do it herself.
Has
no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello?
I'm your mind,
giving you someone to talk too
Hello?
It sickens me to look at him now. I don't see Angel anymore. All I see is that bastard who killed Jenny. And more and more every second I want to hurt him. Every time I see him, I feel Angel come into me, telling me to kill him, even if it means I won't ever see Angel again. It hurts me inside, but I know I'll never see my Angel again.
If
I smile I doomed
Believe
Soon I know I'll wake
From this
dream
It's agony. I want that little blonde all to myself. But I know she'll never worship the darkness with me. My plan to torment her slowly isn't working. Her friends also don't help the situation much. If I could get to them, especially that boy, Xander. He wants her, it's easy to see, but she's still hooked on me, either when she loves me or is trying to kill me.
Don't
try to fix me
I'm not broken
Hello?
I'm the light,
living for you so you can't hide
Don't cry
I still think about him, even though I know I'll probably never see him again. He comes into my dreams every night. I've never told anyone about them though. Giles would probably find something to make the dreams go away, but I don't want them to. The dreams are all I have left of Angel. Those dreams are the only thing helping me keep my sanity. I would have succumbed to Angelus by now.
Suddenly
I know I'm not sleeping
Hello?
I'm still here, all that's
left yesterday.
I'll defeat her. I will. Whether she wants to come to me or not. If she doesn't come, I'll kill her. It's as simple as that. It's impossible that she'll kill me. She still sees her precious Angel in me. I'll make sure that stops. Once I kill all of her friends, I'll go to her mother, and she'll have no choice but to come to me.
