The TARDIS materialised in a large beautiful forest. The sun was bright and the landscape looked picturesque and serene. As the TARDIS team stepped out of their blue travelling box, they were greeted by the sight of a magnificent castle in the distance. The turrets of the castle were astounding and the castle looked like it could have been brand new. It was almost white in colour and there was a drawbridge that lay across the entrance. The Doctor checked the hand-held Geiger counter and concluded that the air was safe from radiation. He had intended to do so before they left the ship but Susan was in such a tearing hurry for an adventure that he had decided to go mobile instead. Ian and Barbara were of course in a state of glee as they stared around in awe and wondered where they could be. In some ways it felt like home. The forests were certainly like the ones from Earth, possibly in Europe, Barbara considered. But the castle looked remarkably new and that dismayed her slightly. She certainly didn't recognise it.
"It looks like a fairy-tale. It could be right out of a page in a book," Susan said from beside her teachers.
"I don't think so Susan," Ian said. "Look at the ground just there, it's a trail of blood. It looks like a place of battle to me."
The Doctor glared at Ian and pushed Susan away from any sight which might distress her. He dismissed Ian's concerns and began to lead the way along the path that led through the trees.
"Wait a minute," Barbara called after him. "There may be danger on ahead- perhaps we shouldn't rush in like headless chickens."
The Doctor's face showed displeasure as he turned to face Barbara. "My dear lady, if you want to stay behind please go ahead, myself and Susan are going on. We came here to explore."
"We'll stay close to the ship, besides I could do with some sun," Barbara replied as they moved away from the trees and onto a patch of grass that lay beside a long trail leading up to the castle.
"Very well, we'll be the adventurous ones," the Doctor said chuckling, and Susan grinned as she followed after him.
"Ooh, I hope I meet a handsome prince," she said as she skipped off into the distance.
The teachers watched them leave and then glanced at each other.
"You don't think they'll get into trouble do you?" Barbara asked.
She looked at Ian and there was a pause. A second or two later they both descended into uncontrolled giggles.
"I wouldn't worry too much," Ian said after he finally stopped laughing. "What's the worst that could happen? He'll get thrown in a dungeon, and that's not a bad result."
He lay down on the grass and rolled up his shirt sleeves. "Come on Barbara, lie down, get yourself a tan."
She smiled and lay down beside him. She felt the hot sun beating down on her legs and suddenly regretted not grabbing the factor 40 sun cream from the TARDIS. She didn't want to get sunburnt like the time Ian had, and he'd resembled a lobster after she accidentally rubbed his body with oil instead of suntan lotion.
They were taking in the sun and chatting gently when they heard a voice ring out from the trees. They both sat up abruptly and saw a young boy approaching them. He was slender and blonde and was wearing tatty rags and tight pantaloons. Ian and Barbara stared at one another.
"Well this isn't 1963," Ian whispered. "Not unless we've stumbled into some re-enactment."
"He's just a boy, who do you think he is?" Barbara said as she and Ian got up and walked towards the boy calling at them.
"Sir Lancelot!" the boy said as he looked at Ian. His voice was high pitched and squeaky. "There you are!"
Ian and Barbara looked at each other and laughed, completely flummoxed.
"Sir who?" Barbara asked.
"Who's she?" Brian said accusingly, not liking the mocking tone he received.
"I'm Barbara Wright."
"What kind of a Wright?"
"Never mind that," Ian said. "Who are you?"
"Did you get hit on the head?" the boy said. "I'm Brian, remember? Your squire!"
"And I'm Sir Lancelot I take it?" Ian said looking at Barbara again and shrugging his shoulders. "So this is some sort of fair is it?"
"Lancelot, this is no time to be joking around, the king needs you immediately. I know you had to save this damsel here but..."
Barbara's face tensed with rage. "I'm not a damsel!"
"Oh...I am sorry, M'Lady but I...assumed...that..."
"Listen..." Ian interrupted again, wondering why the boy was constantly stuttering. "Brian, where are we?"
"Why are you mocking me? You never take me seriously! This is Camelot, and you are a knight of the round table. Have you forgotten that too?"
"I'm sorry," Barbara said softly. "We didn't mean to upset you. Why don't you take us back to the castle and we can talk there?"
"Where are your horses?"
Ian and Barbara exchanged glances. They had no idea what was happening but they knew just by looking at each other, that they were thinking the same thing- they had to play along.
"Uh...they were stolen," Ian said, concocting a lie.
"Yes...by bandits," Barbara added, helping him.
Brian pulled Ian by the arm to talk with him alone. "Are you pretending to be dumb to fool the ladies?"
"No, I'm not pretending anything. Look, I can explain all this Brian, the horses were stolen, and we must go back to the castle on foot. That's all there is to it really."
...
In a dungeon in the castle, Susan and the Doctor were seated on a bundle of hay. The Doctor wiped his brow and coughed from all the dust that accumulated around the cell.
"We wouldn't be in here if you didn't insult the king," Susan said as she folded her arms. "I don't think he liked you saying that Arthurian times were made up."
"Well the man is an imbecile, thinking he is King Arthur of the Britons. I shouldn't be entombed for speaking the truth."
"I wonder if Ian and Barbara have found out about this place."
"There's nothing to find out my child. This is all some silly play or something. A simulation of some kind, a ridiculous game."
"Well it has pretty tough rules for a game."
"Sshhh, someone's coming," the Doctor said and they heard the sound of a small bang from outside the door. Smoke wafted though the key hole, and within a moment there was a blinding flash and the door sprung open.
"What on Earth?!" the Doctor said, spluttering through the smoke as he saw two figures approaching them. "What is the meaning of this?"
As the smoke filtered away, they were left face to face with an elderly man in a magicians hat with a long white beard, and beside him a knight who looked amazingly like Ian, even down to the dimples on his cheeks.
"Ian!" Susan said running over from her spot on the floor and engulfing him in a tight embrace, assuming he was the real schoolteacher and not a knight. The man held her back.
He lifted his rib cage and stood up straight. "I'm afraid you have me mistaken, for I am Lancelot of the Lake. This is Master Merlin, the castle magician."
Susan stepped back and stared at the two men. "But you're Ian!"
"I understand you are tired and scared but don't worry I'm not going to hurt you. The king asked me to come and talk with you."
"Well I'd like to speak with your king again!" the Doctor said before turning to Lancelot. "What is wrong with you Chesterton?! Get out of those clothes and let's get back to the ship."
Lancelot's cheery smile turned into a shocked frown. "I don't know who you are old man, but I will not take my clothes off for any man! Merlin, search these two!"
"They don't seem harmful, Lancelot."
"Nevertheless, they're strange people. Look at what they wear, where are their belongings?"
"We left them back in our wagon," Susan added quickly and helpfully.
"Yes, yes, my child," Merlin said softly, sounding strangely like the Doctor. "Don't worry, we understand."
Merlin handed some bread to Susan and she accepted it. The Doctor however was not so sure and eyed the old wizard with suspicion.
"Why do you call me Ian?" Lancelot asked.
The Doctor paused for a moment and thought carefully. "I do apologise Sir Knight, we are lost travellers you see, four of us came into the forest, and we were simply looking for our friends. You reminded us of the young man we came with."
Lancelot took in their words and then stepped back. He seemed convinced that they were hiding something but he also knew that there was little harm a young girl and an old man could do, unarmed and still in a prison cell.
"You will wait here until I can call upon the king. He is setting up for the tourneys. Master Merlin will see that you get some more food."
"Thank you Sir Lancelot, that's ever so welcoming of you!" Susan said.
"Don't overdo it my dear," the Doctor said, pulling her to the floor to sit down.
...
Brian led Ian and Barbara to the inside of the castle. Ian and Barbara held hands as they walked- they were still not convinced that what was going on was real and was simply a simulation of some kind. Ian was sure that it was all some sort of fair, and that he was being roped into playing the lead knight in the production. Barbara saw Brian looking at them from the corner of his eye.
"You're holding hands, Lancelot!" Brian exclaimed. Ian pushed away Barbara's hand quickly.
"Don't worry I'm not carrying any germs," Ian said, but Brian stared at him, open-mouthed like a goldfish.
Brian looked at Ian suspiciously. "The king will be here in a moment. I have to go tend to my horse. I'll see you later, Lancelot."
As Brian left, Ian could see he was struggling with a few belongings and offered to help him take the horse back to the stable. Brian was glad of the help and they left Barbara standing in the castle entrance on her own. She enjoyed the alone time as she began to look around at all the shields and jewels. She couldn't quite put a time period on anything she saw though, and was still starting to think that Susan had been right, that this was a fairy-tale book where events from history were all jumbled together and the facts a little wrong. She noted to herself that the castle design was much too advanced for the period of Brian's clothing.
She had just started to wander off to take in more of the sights when she heard a familiar voice behind her. The voice was soothing and pleasant.
"Excuse me, are you lost M'lady?"
Barbara turned around to be greeted by Sir Lancelot but was shocked to see that he was the spitting image of Ian. At first she even wondered if it was Ian and that he'd quickly changed for the part, but there was something about him that was a little off, besides, this explained why Brian had mistaken Ian for Lancelot back in the forest.
"M'lady?"
Barbara found herself a little tongue tied- there was something quite becoming about a knight's tunic and attire. "Oh um...I just came in with Brian..."
"And he left you standing here? That stupid boy! Don't worry I'll punish him later."
"Oh no, he's just putting the horses away."
"Ah, I see," Lancelot said as Barbara saw his eyes gaze directly at hers. "I am Sir Lancelot of the Lake, and you are?"
There was a moment's hesitation. "Um...Lady Barbara of...um...Norfolk."
Lancelot gracefully approached and took her hand in his, gently kissing it tenderly. "I am at your service. If there's anything I can assist you with. Did you wish to see the king?"
Barbara hesitated again. "I'm looking for some friends. An old man and a young girl?"
Lancelot was lost in his own thoughts, still staring at the woman in front of him like she had appeared to him from a dream. "Oh yes, they're safe and well. I will take you to them. I must say it was rather unwise for you to be travelling unaided in these woods. It was lucky that Brian found you when he did. Perhaps he's not so careless after all."
"Oh I was perfectly alright, but anyway I wasn't alone. I'm with a friend of mine, Ian. He's with Brian now."
Lancelot frowned. "Is this Ian a knight or warrior?"
"No, he's just a traveller like me."
Lancelot smiled. "Good."
...
The Doctor, Merlin, and Susan sat in the servant's quarters where the Doctor and Susan were treated to some soup from the kitchens. Susan looked around as her grandfather and Merlin were in deep conversation about the stars. Merlin, from what little she knew of him, was a very important man, not just a magician, as she'd always believed from the story books, but also a great scientist, a great thinker and inventor. In many ways he was just like the Doctor. Susan found it all too amusing, but when she thought about it, not many a journey went by where her grandfather wasn't mistaken for a genie, or a man in a magic caravan. It was always an interesting way to explain their arrival on distant foreign shores.
She still wasn't sure what was going on though, and she had convinced her grandfather to play along with the idea that this really was Arthurian times, whatever that meant, she didn't quite want it all to be false. She really enjoyed the romanticised versions of the middle ages.
"Merlin, perhaps we could go and sit with the king instead of down here in the dark and damp," Susan let out with a wide smile. Merlin laughed but the Doctor was cross.
"Quiet child," the Doctor said, hushing her. "We will be meeting with King Arthur soon but you must not interrupt my business with Master Merlin here."
"Oh you're always discussing business," she said, disappointed she was not getting anything fun to do.
The Doctor ruffled her hair. "Go see if there is anyone down here for you to talk to, just don't wander off around the castle."
Susan smiled and nodded, and left the two white haired men to get on with whatever tricks they had in store.
...
When Ian returned to the castle from tending the horse, he was shocked to see Sir Lancelot talking to Barbara. They were seated now on elaborate and comfortable chairs and laughing at something that Barbara was discussing. Ian strode over and was flabbergasted to find that the real Sir Lancelot looked exactly like him! In fact the resemblance quite unnerved him.
"Barbara!" he let out in a squeak. "Is this Sir Lancelot?"
"Uh...yes..." Barbara stammered. "Yes, this is he, the famous knight of the round table."
Lancelot stood up and circled Ian- he seemed utterly transfixed at the sight of the school teacher in a white shirt with smart black trousers and shiny black shoes. He couldn't quite believe that the man also looked exactly like him, almost like he was looking at his own reflection or had a secret long lost twin he didn't know about.
"You look like me!" Lancelot let out finally. "A slightly older version but we share such a resemblance."
"So I see," Ian said quietly ignoring the 'older' remark. "Perhaps he's an ancestor," he whispered aside to Barbara.
"It is remarkable," Barbara told him. "You do look very alike but also, there's a definite difference."
"Oh what's that?" said Ian.
"He's a little bigger than you Ian, a little fitter."
"He's not!" Ian said, patting his stomach and looking at the physique of the knight. "We're about the same size- he's just padded out with all that iron mesh stuff."
Barbara was about to reply when Brian joined them and immediately his head went back and forth between the two men in pantomimic fashion."There's two of you!"
"Brian, don't be silly!" Lancelot said. "I'm the real Lancelot- you've been talking to an impostor of sorts."
"But he...he...looks like you!" Brian stammered.
"Yes thank you Brian, I realise that. Go and wash your face."
Brian frowned and turned to Ian. "Do you treat your squire like a slave?"
Ian laughed. he could barely imagine having a squire of his own. "Uh...no, I don't."
Brian sighed and headed out of the door and to the servant's quarters.
...
Dejected, Brian walked into the servant's quarters several moments later and kicked the dirt on the floor along the way, mumbling under his breath and resting his tired body against the stone wall. He was about to go into his room when he saw the back of a figure looking out of the window. He assumed it was one of the other squires and went to greet them.
"Oh that Sir Lancelot treats me like a slave!"
When the figure turned around to face him, Brian saw that he wasn't talking to another squire, but rather a pretty young girl with hair cropped like a boy.
"You're a girl aren't you?"
Susan folded her arms. "Well of course I am!"
Brian blushed. He rarely saw females, let alone one's similar to his own age hanging around outside his quarters. "I'm Brian and I do beg your pardon, but who are you miss?"
"I'm Susan. I came here with my Grandfather, and Barbara, and Ian."
"Oh, is Ian the one who looks like Sir Lancelot?"
Susan nodded. "So what do you do for fun around here, Brian?"
Brian laughed but caught Susan's fixed expression. He stopped laughing and scratched his head. "I wouldn't say we had any fun around here, not us squires! Not unless you count washing pots and pans as a fun day."
Susan frowned. "So you don't get to fight in the tourneys?"
"Of course we don't! We just have to watch the knights...I'm going to be one, one day you know?"
"Be one what?"
"A knight!"
Susan erupted into a fit of giggles and ruffled his hair. "I'm sure you will."
"I will be a knight, just you wait and see."
Susan smiled, nodded and then began to walk towards the entrance to the servant's quarters.
"Where are you going?" Brian asked, following her.
"I'm going to have some fun. You can come if you want."
Brian hesitated, looking back at his room. "I can't...I mean, I have to clean up Lancelot's things."
Susan shrugged. "Suit yourself."
Brian thought for a moment, and then ran after the young girl, calling after her to slow down. "Maybe Lancelot could clean up after himself!"
...
Sir Lancelot, Barbara, and Ian had spent an hour talking about Lancelot's tournament and the roles of all the Knights of the Round Table. Ian was a little jealous of the amount of attention the knight was getting from Barbara who was asking so many questions about castles and kingdoms and battles. She was also curious as to which knights she could name from all the different legends and books she had read over the years.
"Oh Sir Gawaine, that's one I forgot!" Barbara let out as she took a big gulp of her wine.
Ian yawned. "Don't forget Sir-doesn't- give- a- damn."
"Quiet Ian, don't be rude."
"Ah Sir Lancelot," a voice said from behind them.
The three of them turned to see King Arthur, King of the Britons, standing in the entrance. Linking arms with him was a beautiful blonde woman dressed in a stunning lilac dress and headband. The queen displayed an air of sophistication and elegance. The three of them jumped to their feet immediately so that they were presentable for the king and queen, dusting themselves down as they stood.
"I see we have guests, Lancelot," the King said looking at Ian and Barbara and doing a double-take. "Why, is this your twin, Lancelot? What is happening here?"
"Not a twin, Sire," Lancelot said. "But it appears that Ian and I are most alike."
"In looks only," Ian added.
Barbara nudged him.
"One Lancelot was already enough!" the King laughed heavily and they all laughed with him. "Welcome to Camelot," he continued. "This is Queen Guinevere."
The Queen curtsied and made the travellers feel most welcome. She urged them all to sit back down as a servant came in with drinks and food for them all. Ian tucked into the delicacies straight away and picked up a chicken drumstick.
"Delicious!" he said.
Just as Ian was tucking into his food, the Doctor and Merlin entered the room arguing with each other.
"Master Merlin," Lancelot said. "What is all this noise about?"
Merlin scowled at the Doctor. "This impostor says that my magic is merely scientific theory and that I possess no powers of my own."
"It's true, magic does not exist!"
The King's eyebrow rose at the Doctor. "I have seen Merlin perform many magic tricks and potions, Doctor."
"I'm not saying he can't perform tricks, Sire, I'm merely pointing out that all tricks have scientific logic to them."
"Doctor, must we do this now?" Barbara said as she imagined a full blown fight occurring, though the image of a fight between two old men with white hair did seem an amusing idea.
"Yes," Queen Guinevere said, motioning at two empty seats. "Why don't you talk about it later when you've eaten and had some wine?"
The Doctor huffed and groaned, but obeyed her command.
"Perhaps Master Merlin can give you a demonstration of his tricks to prove they are really rooted in magic," Lancelot told the Doctor, as the Doctor pulled up a chair and started sipping his wine.
"Perhaps, perhaps."
There was a moment of silence as they all tucked into the cuisine. It was a bit awkward and it was the sort of silence that made everyone shuffle uncomfortably in their seats.
"Ian?" Guinevere suddenly said through the silence, which quite surprised him.
"Uh...yes, M'Lady?"
"I was wondering why a man such as yourself, so obviously well bred and built for fighting is not a knight."
"He's not of noble birth M'lady," Barbara told her.
"Well perhaps we can make an exception just for a day or two so you can take part in the tourneys," King Arthur added.
"Me? In the tourneys?"
"Him?!" Lancelot asked. "But he isn't a true knight, Sire."
"Oh since when have you lost your sense of spirit, Lancelot?" asked the King. "It's just for a day or two, and our guests should get to experience every aspect of Camelot life."
"He'll do it," the Doctor said on Ian's behalf.
"He'll need to champion someone," Merlin added.
By this point Ian was starting to get cross, as then, Barbara joined in to ask if she could help him get all he needed for the tournament.
"Champion?" Ian asked.
"Yes," replied Guinevere. "A knight must champion a lady and fight in her name. Sir Lancelot is my champion, what lady will you champion?"
Ian looked around. "I will...uh...champion...Barbara."
The Doctor chuckled. "Very good choice my dear boy, very good choice. The fact that aside from Queen Guinevere that she is the only lady in the room is neither here nor there."
...
The next two days in Camelot were a colourful affair, as the castle and the knights prepared for the biggest tournament in the kingdom. It was a three day tournament which focused on events such as archery, wrestling, jousting, and sword fighting. It was a test of skill, strength, and honour, with only the bravest and strongest knight winning the trophy. Ian, although an already proven good fighter and trained in various martial arts, was extremely nervous at the prospect at competing against knights of the calibre he had seen. He was still unsure as to why the king had given him the chance to compete at all. The Doctor explained that the king could see courage and determination in Ian and that he should be proud that he was asked to take part. Barbara had become somewhat Ian's servant, much to her own horror and his delight. She had only wanted to be involved in some way but had spent the last couple of days watching Ian training and helping him with his clothes and horse. Lancelot had tried to dissuade her from being involved at all, but she was adamant that she was going to help Ian in any way she could. She would just rather it hadn't been cleaning!
In the banquet hall the night before the tournament, the Doctor, and his friends gathered around to share a grand meal with the king, the queen, Merlin, and the knights. Lancelot was seated beside Barbara and was keen to spend some time with her after being deprived of her company whilst she was training with Ian. He was telling her about an occasion where he had been captured by a group of women who were running a village whilst their husbands were at a war.
"It just shows you that women are just as capable, if not more capable than men," Barbara said to him as she drunk the wine next to her.
Lancelot laughed a little too patronisingly for Barbara's liking but she shrugged it off with the time period. It was unfair of her to judge these people by her own modern standards. Lancelot smiled at her.
"You are like no one I've ever met before, it is indeed most refreshing."
Barbara blushed and caught Ian's expression from the corner of her eye- was he rolling his eyes? She tried to ignore him and carry on her conversation with Lancelot, however it was very difficult to carry on talking when the Doctor and Merlin were at loggerheads again, having a disagreement of some kind.
"What is it now?" Ian asked the Doctor.
"This silly man with a silly beard," the Doctor said. "Has no sense of science at all, dear boy. Listen to me Merlin, I can demonstrate what I mean using these grapes. Here, pass me a spoon."
Merlin huffed and pushed the spoon towards him. Ian interceded and took it from his grasp.
"Not at the table," he told the two men like they were children. "Save the horse-play until later."
The King laughed from his throne. "I have rather a splendid idea."
"Sire?" Lancelot asked.
"After the tournament, we shall make a special magic tournament just for the Doctor and Merlin, they shall go against one another, and one shall be able to claim victory and prove that he is the right party."
"But Sire," Lancelot protested. "Why should Master Merlin have to participate? It's known to the whole of the kingdom that he is the greatest magician of all."
"Oh Lancelot," Barbara said, still drinking the wine. "Let the Doctor play his games, he'll only be awful on the ride home if he's stroppy."
Lancelot smiled and gazed at her. She was really quite beautiful as her hair fell onto her shoulders and her slender figure was accentuated in a crimson gown with jewels encrusted on the neck line. "I am sorry, M'lady, you are right. Yes, it will be amusing to see Master Merlin make your Doctor look foolish, not that Merlin hasn't himself looked foolish from time to time, eh Merlin?"
"No comment Sir Knight, no comment."
The Doctor chuckled to himself, quite happy that he was going to get a chance to prove he was right all along. He put some bread into his mouth and looked around the table to where there was an empty seat where Susan was meant to be sitting.
"Where is that child? I told her that we would be eating at seven sharp. I do apologise your majesties."
The Queen smiled. "You are not to worry, I am sure Susan has found herself something to do and lost track of time."
A moment later, a squire entered the hall. He approached the king and bowed before him. "I don't want to worry you my lord but..."
"What is it?"
The boy shuffled uncomfortably. Lancelot by now had got up from his seat and had approached the young squire who was reluctant to share his findings.
"You better tell us Rupert, it'll only make it worse if you don't."
"It's Susan and Brian my lord, they've not returned, they went riding in the forest and said they'd be back before sunset."
Lancelot hit his fist on the table. "That boy! I told him to watch Susan, not take her out on the horses."
The King calmed Lancelot down. "Let's not worry just yet. Lancelot, take Sir Kay and Gawaine and go in search of them. Merlin, you, and the Doctor see if they've sent word by pigeon."
The Doctor nodded. "That silly child, she always wants to do things she shouldn't."
The Doctor, Merlin, and Lancelot left the hall, leaving Ian and Barbara eating with the king and queen. They both felt rather embarrassed for a moment and spoke quietly amongst each other.
"Typical Susan," said Ian.
"I do wish she'd behave for once- at least tell us where she's going."
Ian took a sip of his wine. "Still, they'll find them. We might as well enjoy some of this food in the meantime."
"Ian!"
"It'd be rude to the king and queen if we didn't."
Barbara smirked and then giggled. "Yes, I suppose it would."
They both began to laugh but Ian found himself caught off guard when he looked at her beautiful face, lit up by the flame of glowing candlelight.
He smiled at his friend. "I've had a really nice time you know? Better than I thought. I mean, Lancelot's still hard work but I've enjoyed you looking after me."
"Well, I've enjoyed it too."
Their eyes caught each other's and they both looked away awkwardly.
"And these clothes really suit you," Ian said. "You look really beautiful Barbara..."
Barbara looked surprised and felt her cheeks flushing. Ian stopped. Had he said too much?
...
Lancelot and Sir Kay arrived in the woods to find Brian in a tree and Susan on the ground looking up at him.
"Oh thank goodness you're here!" Susan said as she saw the men approaching. "Brian's stuck!"
Sir Kay was annoyed and started muttering about his time being wasted by a silly boy and a girl who was acting like a silly boy, but Lancelot descended into uncontrollable laughter.
"It's not funny!" Brian shouted from the leaves. "I'm cold and hungry."
"Well why did you get yourself stuck?"
"Well I didn't do it on purpose, Lancelot. Susan thought she saw an injured bird and she wanted to investigate so we climbed up but there was nothing up here."
"Yes and I climbed back down," Susan told them.
Lancelot laughed even harder. "Well if Susan managed to climb down, then why are you stuck?"
"I lost my nerve- it's a long way down."
"Oh jump for goodness sakes," Sir Kay bellowed. "This is the squire of yours who wants to be a knight? Pah! Idiot boy!"
"Oh don't be silly, Brian, come down at once, we've been in much worse scrapes," said Lancelot.
"He really tried," Susan added trying to be helpful. "But he nearly fell, and I think it knocked his confidence."
"I'll knock his confidence if he doesn't come down and get back to the castle in ten minutes," Lancelot said.
"Oh alright," Brian sulked. "But if I die, the king will be very angry."
Lancelot smirked. "He'll find a replacement don't you worry, Brian."
Brian scowled and stood up on the branch. He wobbled as he got ready to leap. Susan started calling words of encouragement whilst Sir Kay started calling him names.
"Alright, I'm ready- please don't let me go splat."
He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then quickly leapt from the branch. He landed cosily in Lancelot's waiting arms.
"Sir Lancelot! I thought I was a goner!"
Lancelot put Brian to the floor and chuckled. "You're much too important for me to let die, you know that Brian? Come on, back we go."
He ruffled Brian's hair and they all mounted their horses and rode back to Camelot.
"That was so much fun," Susan said as she leaned over from her horse to talk to Brian. "Can we do it again sometime? Lancelot, perhaps you could join us."
"We'll see."
...
The sun came out of hiding on the first day of the tournament and therefore It had been the weather that they had all hoped for- a warm day with only a few clouds in the sky. The weather was mild and not too stifling so the knights could feel comfortable in the knowledge they'd not be fighting in extreme conditions.
The horns and bells rang out as King Arthur announced that the tournament had begun. He stood with Queen Guinevere on the grass as he wished luck to all the competitors. All in all, it was a big occasion in Camelot and one the castle and its occupants took very seriously. Being involved was a very high honour indeed, but even being a spectator was considered a high privilege.
"May the best man win!" the King shouted as he took his wife's hand and guided her to their royal seats in the stands.
In the stands, the Doctor and Susan stood with Merlin who was clapping loudly as two of the knights got to their feet to begin the first round of the competition. Susan was really impressed by how beautiful the place looked and how wonderfully decorated it was. There were flags with the colours and badges of all the different knights on the edge of the stands, and there was a shield that represented the round table. The crowd of spectators were lively and happy to be there, clapping with appreciation as the knights stepped up for their turn.
"What's the first event Grandfather?" Susan asked as she waved her own little flag with Ian's colour on it.
"Sword fighting, my child, quite nasty I suspect."
Susan's face displayed concern. "Do you think Ian will be alright? I mean he's not as trained as the others."
"I think Chesterton can take care of himself, my dear."
"Are we still on for the bet, Doctor?" Merlin asked, not hearing Susan's query and unintentionally interrupting her.
Susan turned to face her grandfather, rolling her eyes. "You said you'd given up gambling!"
The Doctor shuffled uncomfortably as Merlin laughed beside him, knowing the old man had been caught out.
"It's alright Susan, it's just a little bet between the two of us, nothing harmful."
"Well, at least you have faith in Ian, I suppose" she replied.
Merlin laughed. "No Susan, you're misunderstood. I believe in beginner's luck and therefore have decided to bet on your friend. Your grandfather has instead placed his wager on Sir Lancelot."
Susan shrieked in disbelief. "Grandfather! You horrid man! You mean you bet against Ian?"
"Oh don't say it like that my child. I admire what Ian is doing, and I always will, but let's face it, he has a much chance of winning as..."
"...You fixing the TARDIS?"
The Doctor huffed.
...
Meanwhile Barbara and Ian were getting prepared in one of the yellow tents. She was helping Ian into his armour which was overall a difficult process.
"Will you stop whinging?" she said as she punched at the armour he wore to keep it in place. "It's hard to do this as it is and even harder with all your fidgeting."
"You'd whinge too if you had to wear all this. I think I've got a hernia just by putting it on."
"Oh you'll get used to it once you're out there," she replied as she made the finishing touches on his costume. "There, perfect, just like a true knight and a bit spookily like Lancelot. I hope I can tell you apart."
"Well I'm wearing blue, Barbara, but also I'm the one who isn't sticking his tongue out when he fights."
"Oh yes I noticed that, it's sort of cute really."
"Cute?"
"Yes, Susan's quite taken with him too. She keeps calling him Sir Lance-a-hot."
"That is more than mildly disturbing, Barbara. This is turning into 'Carry on Camelot'."
...
Susan whistled loudly as the final round of the sword fighting contest was about to start, and Ian, dressed in all the gear of a knight, came cautiously into the view of all the spectators.
"I can't believe Ian beat those other knights!" Susan let out.
"Well Ian seems a most capable fighter," Merlin said. "Perhaps Doctor you have made an error and bet on the wrong man."
"I'm very pleased with Chesterton's progress over the last few days," the Doctor replied. "However I do think that going up against Lancelot will be a little too much for him. That knight is known to be the greatest swordsman alive."
"Oh Grandfather, you thought all this was make believe, so how do you know that Lancelot will necessarily be the strongest?"
"Oh I've seen him training my dear, there is no doubt he will beat Chesterfield. Ian was lucky to get this far, he's tired, he's less skilled. He's just not going to win, but that's alright, my dear."
"Well there's two days of tournament after this. He's got plenty of time to get better; you could at least be on his side supporting him."
"My child I am not against him, just placing a friendly bet."
"It's about to begin!" Merlin called.
...
Lancelot and Ian circled one another, both holding their swords in front of them ready to begin. The crowd fell silent as they waited for Arthur's call. After a moment of waiting, the trumpets sounded for the men to start, and once more Ian was fighting to win. He'd rather surprised himself at how capable he'd been, and he never thought he'd reach the final stages of a sword fighting challenge, but here he was about to face the greatest swordsman in Camelot. He wasn't entirely hopeful of his chances but he just had to try his best. He was reluctant at fighting at all at first but Barbara's encouragement had helped, and once he had claimed victory over Sir Tristan and Sir Kay, he was suddenly filled with a greater determination to succeed. He felt the blood pumping furiously around his body and was quite enjoying the cheers from the crowd- and when he heard his name being called, it instantly lifted his spirits. But then the nerves had started and he was standing facing Lancelot. Their eyes were locked on one another and Ian could feel that at any moment he was going to lose this contest and lay defeated in a heap on the floor. He was just relieved that this was not a fight to the death and that the swords were blunted.
Lancelot made the first move and swung his sword into the direction of Ian's right shoulder. Ian saw the attack coming and jumped out of the way in time, thrashing his own sword back at Lancelot. Barbara stood at the side of the stands and bit her fingernails in worry as each swipe of Lancelot's sword almost made contact with a portion of Ian's body. Ian managed to gain momentum and swung his sword viciously in his foe's direction, each time the blade missed Lancelot and struck the air instead.
"Go Ian!" Susan shouted from the stands. "You can do it!"
Ian was giving it everything he had but every swipe of his sword made his arm ache and the armour was so heavy that he nearly stumbled a few times. Finally, Lancelot got the better of him and managed to trip him up. Ian felt his legs give way and he collapsed into a heap, just as he had predicted. Lancelot held the sword at his throat and for a moment Ian thought he was going to strike him. He was relieved when Lancelot threw the sword onto the grass and pulled him onto his feet. He felt dizzy and disorientated but he wasn't injured.
He could hear a bell ringing around him, which he assumed was announcing Lancelot's victory in the sword fighting tournament. Lancelot shook Ian's hand which also helped to steady him.
"You did very well, Ian."
Ian nodded graciously, trying not to let on how tired he was. "Thank you."
"You should be very proud. Coming second against all these skilled knights, what's your secret?"
Ian laughed. "Hard work and a damaging desire to never give in."
Lancelot smiled and patted Ian on the shoulder. "You've done well, I will forward to going up against you again."
"Don't worry. I'll beat you next time." He grinned.
"I'm sure you'll give it a mighty try," he replied as he noticed Barbara approaching them.
"You were both fantastic!" Barbara said. "I could barely watch though, it was so close."
Lancelot kissed Barbara's hand. "Thank you Barbara for being most supportive. Now if you excuse me, I can see Brian is after my attention."
He bowed to Ian and Barbara and left the two of them standing alone on the grass. Barbara embraced Ian in a hug.
"Well done Ian!" she said.
"I lost, Barbara."
"You came second and happened to lose to the strongest and bravest knight of them all, a victory if you ask me."
"Well, he is going to be beaten properly tomorrow, just you wait and see."
...
The Doctor and Susan were in Merlin's quarters the next morning. They watched him as he tinkered around with some of his many gadgets and gizmos. Susan was stood at the window looking out on the beautiful grounds outside, whilst the Doctor was chuckling away at Merlin's paper plans he had scattered around the room.
"My dear fellow," the Doctor said. "You can make as many silly little drawings as you want, and do lots of little chants and all that weird voodoo nonsense, and dance naked around a bonfire, cutting off bits of your beard for good luck...but my dear wizard, you will not prove to me that you possess anything more than being able to manipulate scientific fact. You are a very intelligent man and inventor, why waste all that surrendering to all this magic spells nonsense?"
Merlin laughed. "Ah Doctor, a man who claims to be an explorer and a learned fellow, yet cannot open his mind to the possibility of powers greater than man."
"Oh Grandfather why don't you just let Merlin do his magic? It doesn't mean you have to start doing potions."
The Doctor ignored her and picked up a paper with one of Merlin's incantations written on it. "This hubble bubble toil and trouble stuff is merely poetry my dear man."
Merlin nodded his head. "I will soon show you."
...
Day two of the tournament had got underway with the first event being archery, followed by wrestling in the afternoon. Barbara had spent much of the previous evening helping Ian with his archery lessons. Neither of them had much experience before but they had certainly enjoyed having a go anyway, even if Ian was reluctant at first.
"Ian, you have to hold it a little higher," Barbara had said the previous night as they stood on the archery field. "The bow is too low; you'll never hit the target."
"Since when are you an expert on archery?"
"I'm not, but I can take a guess that at that angle, you'll be likely to hit a bird rather than the board."
Ian moaned and then carefully lowered the bow. His eyes squinted, and he stared ahead at the target and focused carefully.
"I think I've got it Barbara," he said as he released the arrow. It flew through the air and went splat on the ground right next to its destination.
"Oh dear," Barbara laughed. "Maybe it's your eyesight that's off."
Ian's face flushed with embarrassment as he handed the bow and arrow to Barbara. "If you're so good at it, you have a go." He was starting to find all the hours of training and physical activity extremely tiresome. In his adventures in time and space he was always ready to fight if the situation required it of him, but day after day of the same kind of work was not his idea of fun.
Barbara agreed to have a go at the archery herself. She aimed for the target and released the bow, it managed to hit the board. It wasn't quite on target; in fact it was very much off target, but at least it was closer than Ian's attempt. Ian smiled and bowed his head in defeat.
"If I can't even beat you then how am I going to win against trained knights?"
"Oh charming."
"I didn't mean it like that Barbara, I just meant that those men are going to have been used to this kind of sport for years. They have the strength and force to just keep shooting. I'm already tired. I thought I was quite fit but over the last couple of days, I've realised that in comparison to Lancelot, I'm just completely weak."
"Then why did you act all tough in front of him and tell him you were going to beat him tomorrow?"
"Well I didn't want him to think I was being cowardly or something."
"Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You won a sword fight over two trained knights, you've been an Aztec warrior, you've had your fair share of fights on our travels, and it's your intelligence as a fighter that has always pulled you through. Stop thinking in terms of weak and strong, remember that you can defeat Lancelot just by using his weaknesses against him. You taught us all that Ian."
"Perhaps you're right, Barbara."
"Of course I am. And at least you get to compete. I would love to have a go at some of these events, but of course women aren't allowed."
"No, true."
"Come on, let's try again, practice makes perfect."
Ian raised the bow and aimed.
...
Lancelot and Brian stood in their tent as Brian got Lancelot ready for his first opponent in the wrestling competition. Lancelot was feeling edgy and nervous having come third in the archery tournament in the morning, and he was really worrying about his chances overall. To Lancelot, the tourneys were everything he dreamed of; losing was not something he cared to think about. Ian had come in at a respectable fourth place, which Lancelot was surprised about- he was starting to think that Merlin's belief in Ian's beginner's luck was not so strange.
Brian neatened his master's outfit. "You're all ready, Lancelot."
"Thank you Brian. I must win this fight."
The young squire smiled up at him admirably. "Oh you'll have no problem!"
Lancelot forced a smile and peered out of the tent, looking over at Ian and Barbara who were talking on the grass area. Brian followed suit and also peered out to spy on their opponents.
"I think Ian has a good chance," Lancelot said.
"At what?"
"The fight of course."
"Oh," said Brian with a grin, looking at Barbara specifically. "I thought you might have meant something else."
Lancelot shot Brian an unimpressed look and the boy bowed his head in shame. "Sorry Lancelot."
"Alright Brian, let's get out there and thanks for your help, I do so appreciate it you know?"
Brian smiled widely as Lancelot patted him on the back.
...
Lancelot's first opponent was an easy target and he beat him in a record time of ten seconds. The next two after that were slightly trickier, but he didn't have too much trouble defeating them in a brief space of time. Finally he was the winner of his group and would face the winner of the other group of wrestlers.
Ian was in the other group and was about to start his fight with his first opponent. He glared at his challenger and was surprised at how thin and svelte he looked. He didn't recognise the man from the previous day but he didn't want to question it because a man's slim build could be used to his advantage.
"Are you both ready?" King Arthur boomed.
The two men nodded and King Arthur announced that the match had begun. Ian and the other man circled each other, each waiting for the perfect opportunity to make the first move. Ian noticed that the man had a rather peculiar wonky mustache above his lip but tried to ignore it- it really wasn't relevant- and he didn't want to be distracted. Without warning, the small man threw himself on top of him and he went down to the ground with a thud. In anger, he threw the other man away from him and then leapt on top of him in retaliation. As he did so, he noticed the man's mustache was hanging off on one side. He stared at the face of the skinny man and quickly jumped to his feet.
"Barbara!" he shouted, recognising her immediately without the facial hair.
The crowd gasped as they all realised that the man who was claiming to be Sir Barnabus, was in fact history teacher Barbara Wright who had decided to play a little bit of a prank.
"What are you doing?" Ian shouted at her. "I could have killed you!"
"I didn't mean any harm, it was just for fun."
"What in the name of God is going on here?" King Arthur said as he marched over to the scene of Ian and Barbara both muddy and breathless, with Barbara pulling a fake mustache off the top of her lip.
"Barbara decided to become a man for today," Ian said. "For fun apparently." He tried not to grin at the image of her and the idea of her getting carried away. He also shook away the naughty thoughts in his mind about her wanting to wrestle him.
"You're Lady Barbara?" King Arthur spluttered. He'd never ever seen anything like it in his life.
Barbara nodded in shame, thinking she was going to be thrown in the dungeon for her actions but instead both Ian and Arthur burst into laughter.
"An entertaining rouse," the King said as he took her hand, "but perhaps I shall escort you back to where it is safe."
"Oh and Barbara, you don't look that bad as a man!" Ian called after her.
She scowled back at him as she was escorted to the stands.
...
Ian was surprisingly successful during the wrestling tournament. After Barbara had been 'disqualified' and they found the rightful competitor, Ian's first fight got underway and he was on top form. He managed to beat the first man quite easily. The next three men Ian had to fight were a lot tougher and very strong, but they seemed to lack the element of cunning and flair that he possessed. Using his own techniques, he managed to fool them and then trip them up so that he had the advantage. This had worked with each of the men and he started to think he was on a winning streak; he had just one competitor left- Sir Lancelot.
...
Before they were due to fight, Barbara and Lancelot had met for a quick bite to eat in the servant's quarters. She was slightly surprised by the location of their meeting but Lancelot had explained that many of the servants were setting up for the tourneys and this way they would have some quiet time to have a talk and a bit of a relax before he was to face Ian, besides Lancelot rarely worried about 'roughin' it with the common folk. Brian poured some warm soup for Barbara and then left them alone as he left the room to go and meet Susan for a quick friendly game of archery.
"Ooh this soup is delicious," Barbara noted. "Although it's a bit hot for this warm weather."
"Brian is the master of soup," Lancelot replied. "For all his faults as a squire, he can cook reasonably well."
"Oh you don't mean that do you? That he's a bad squire?"
Lancelot laughed. "No, of course not. Don't tell him this but I'd be rather lost without that boy."
"He's taken to Susan, hasn't he?"
"He's quite smitten, I'd say. He hasn't stopped talking about her since you arrived."
"I think perhaps Susan doesn't share that feeling. She likes him of course but not in that way."
Lancelot laughed again. "Don't worry, he'll get over it. A boy has to learn to have his heart broken once or twice."
There was a moment of awkward silence as he looked at her and sighed. He knew what it felt like to feel something that someone didn't feel back.
"So, ready to be beaten by Ian in...oh...less than an hour's time?"
"I must admit, Ian's come on leaps and bounds since I first saw him train, quite astonishing really. But I am still reluctant to hand my trophy over to him, I shall beat him in the end."
"You seem very confident."
"I don't like to lose."
"Neither does Ian."
"Nor do you it would seem," Lancelot said.
"How do you mean?"
"Would you have continued the charade of playing that knight until the bitter end?"
Barbara laughed slightly. "No, I was just trying to see if I could. The whole time I've been helping Ian, I just wanted a bit of the action for once."
"That was a very strange thing to do."
"It's not a regular thing believe me."
"Barbara?" Lancelot stammered. "What do you propose to do after the tournament? I mean, there is a grand ball that the king likes to hold in honour of the winners. Would you like to accompany me as my guest?"
Barbara smiled, she was indeed flattered, but Lancelot noticed the hesitation.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pressure you, you don't have to."
"No, it's not that, Lancelot, it's just I'm not sure who to accompany to the ball, or whether I need to go with anyone at all. Could we not just go all as one big group?"
"Yes of course, M'lady, if that's what you wish."
...
Ian was standing on the lawn and staring ahead contemplating his upcoming fight to Lancelot. He felt nervous but also strangely excited. Wrestling had become something he'd shown great skill at and now he was much more confident. He'd had a lot of fighting training during his days in the national service but he never really expected to put any of it into practice, especially when he became science master at Coal Hill. When he first became a teacher, he thought his action days were behind him, but here he was standing beside a castle, in a world one would only imagine in a fairy-tale, and he was about to wrestle with the strongest knight he'd ever heard of.
Queen Guinevere interrupted his daydream and Ian was suddenly aware that she had been watching him and trying to talk for at least a minute.
"Are you alright Ian?" she said.
"Oh I'm fine, your majesty, just thinking about the fight."
"Well you're doing ever so well. My husband is really impressed with you. I'll admit I thought you were just a traveller with no obvious combat skills, but well, you've proved us all wrong."
Ian smiled.
"You must win for Barbara," she said.
"Oh yes, I'm championing her."
"She is a strong willed woman herself."
Ian nodded.
Guinevere laughed slightly. "And the Doctor is the strongest of you all. He won't let anyone deter his views."
"Yes, the Doctor's in charge all right."
...
The trumpet sounds blasted around the stands and filled the crowds with a great sense of excitement. The cheers picked up as the tourneys continued and all in all, the tournament was proving to be a great success. Ian noticed Lancelot marching towards him. It was almost as if in slow motion as the big strong knight strode into view. They were both dressed in tight pantaloons and loose fitting tunics and their outfits rather accentuated their muscles. Susan couldn't help but feel very drawn to this particular event.
"Put away my opera glasses Susan, what could you possibly need to see up close?" the Doctor asked.
Susan smiled shyly and handed him the glasses. Barbara laughed and the women shared a few giggles as they tried to guess who stood the greater chance of victory.
"Well I'm betting on Ian," Susan said loudly. "Chesterton for victory!"
"Which one is Chesterton anyway?" the Doctor suddenly announced. "They look like the same person from up here."
Barbara pointed. "Ian's in blue Doctor. Lancelot is always in red."
The Doctor nodded and pulled out a red flag and began waving it in the air. Barbara did a double-take.
"Doctor, you're waving a flag for Lancelot?"
"Grandfather placed a bet that Lancelot would win," Susan told her.
"You tyrant Doctor, going against Ian after all those times he's helped you. Well if this is where your loyalties lie, I'm placing my own bet."
"On Chesterton?" the Doctor asked.
"No, on Merlin. I hope he kicks your bottom to god knows where in the magic contest!"
The Doctor whimpered and hissed like a cat.
"Serves you right, Grandfather."
Brian leaned forward to the group. "Wouldn't it be funny if Lancelot was really Ian and Ian was really Lancelot, I mean that would throw the whole bet a bit squiffy wouldn't it?"
Everyone turned to look at him.
The Doctor ran his index finger over his chin and pursed his lips. "That's not what you're trying to do is it Merlin, keep tricking me into supporting the wrong man and using your little spells to win the money?"
Merlin folded his arms in protest. "Cheats never prosper, besides if I was doing what you suggest then wouldn't that prove I have magical powers?"
"Oh insolent man! Insolent!" the Doctor moaned.
...
"Good luck, Ian," Lancelot said as they now stood at arm's length from one another.
They shook hands and the battle commenced. Ian didn't want to rush things; he didn't want to show his skill to early. He had to use stealth and cunning, he had to find Lancelot's weakness. Lancelot's blue eyes, the eyes that looked like he was staring at his own in a mirror, were now staring at him, and not looking away. Lancelot quickly took control and put Ian into a strong hold. Ian felt tightened and could barely move in the struggle. He felt his arms being crushed as Lancelot tried to pull him to the ground. He remained patient though and he felt the strength inside him rise to the surface and he was able to kick Lancelot away and gain his freedom. Lancelot went to take hold of Ian again but Ian stepped away quickly and instead took Lancelot in a tight grasp, hoisting his arm behind his back. Lancelot squirmed in pain as Ian made no attempt to release him. Lancelot tried to elbow Ian's throat with his other arm but as he attempted to do so, he felt Ian's foot kick out at his ankle and before he had a chance to balance himself, he went falling to the ground with a thud. Ian instantly sat on his chest to stop him from getting up. Wrestling of this period was really quite brutal and he was so glad that it was all over. He had won.
He felt so overcome with emotion as he heard the chants and the cheers of his name. Susan and Barbara were hugging and shouting his praises and the Doctor was raising his thumb in a gesture of congratulations. Lancelot steadily got to his feet. Ian expected the knight to be annoyed, to look disappointed or angry but he was surprised to see a smile across the man's face. He shook Ian's hand.
"Well done Ian, you're becoming quite the knight I must say. I expect we shall meet again tomorrow. How is your jousting?"
Ian's smile turned into a frown. Jousting was not a sport that he had in mind.
...
The stars glistened in the night sky as the day's events drew to a close and many knights had decided to take a well earned rest for tomorrow's last day of the tournament. Many considered it to be the toughest test of all, which didn't fill Ian with much confidence, but at least there was the evening to take it easy and relax for the time being. Lancelot, Brian, Ian, Barbara, the Doctor, and Susan had decided to take a picnic by moonlight rather than a grand feast with the king. It was beautifully calm outside and still mild in temperature so the perfect kind of evening for a bit of food and good company. Brian and Susan were lying back on the grass, both staring up at the sky after eating quite a bit of food between them.
"Do you suppose anything lives up there?" Brian asked so that everyone could hear.
"Merlin would say that the stars are our guardians, Brian," added Lancelot who was seated under a tree wearing rather more casual loose fitting clothes than he usually wore.
"They are a great deal more than that," the Doctor said.
"But are there little people up there on those stars?" Brian asked.
"Yes Brian, there's little aliens everywhere," Ian teased. "They're all around us; one could be lying beside you right now."
Brian looked at Susan and laughed. "Susan's not an alien, she's a girl."
The Doctor chuckled. "Do you think that all aliens are hideous green creatures who live in weird bubbly balls of gas?"
"No, I just don't really believe that life like ours exists in the sky," Brian said.
"Why not Brian?" Susan asked.
"Oh I don't know, just a feeling."
"Well I don't know what's out there," Lancelot began. "All I know Brian is to be true to yourself in this life and do good by other people and your king. What do you think Barbara?"
"I don't know. Sometimes it's easy to believe something until suddenly something happens and all you thought were true turns out to be quite the opposite," she said as she glanced at the Doctor.
"What about you all?" Lancelot said. "Where do you all even come from?"
"Yes," Brian added. "It's like you fell from the sky. Perhaps you are the aliens after all."
Everyone started to laugh. It was very hard for the travellers to explain why they did the things they did, and why they travelled together, and why they wore what they wore. They never seemed to blend in with their time period, so more often than not a new adventure meant a lot of explaining to do. That part kind of took the fun out of time travel.
"We're travellers my dear fellows," the Doctor said as he clutched his lapels. "We travelled here to gain a greater understanding of your culture."
"So you are not English?" Lancelot questioned. "Though you speak with its tongue."
"We're learned fellows and we come from across the sea."
"Did you come by boat?" Brian butted in.
The team looked at one another.
"We, yes, I suppose we came by ship, yes," the Doctor said. "Then we came here by wagon."
"That blue thing you came in?" Brian queried.
"Yes," said Ian. "That blue box is our wagon."
"It is rather small for four occupants," Lancelot said.
"Well we rarely spend long in there together," the Doctor said shaking off their questions. He was not keen to start explaining the workings of his craft to a knight and his squire. They seemed like nice men but the Doctor was always on the lookout of anyone who might steal the TARDIS for their own gain, after all, Marco Polo had wanted the ship when they'd arrived in China.
Lancelot laughed. "You are indeed lovely people but I admit you are the strangest folk I have ever encountered. You mock Merlin for his powers, Doctor, yet you seem to hold the image of a magician yourself. Perhaps really you and Merlin are one and the same."
...
The sun shone through the window as Ian lay in his bed, shirtless and unshaven. He heard the cockerel's call and groaned that the final day of the tourneys had arrived. He got up quickly but as he did so he got his legs tangled up in the bed linen and he went crashing to the ground with a thud. Barbara raced in.
"What is it? What's the matter?"
She laughed when she saw him struggling from the floor to escape the clutches of some white covers.
"Stop laughing and help me get ready."
Barbara smiled and began to assist him. "Stop being grumpy."
Ian grumbled further as Barbara helped him get to his feet. She blushed a little noticing that he was shirtless and that his trousers had started to fall down below his waist. Before she could say anything, Ian noticed his faux pas and yanked his trousers up as fast as he could. He laughed nervously and quickly threw on a shirt.
"I suppose it's just too much to ask for a shower in these times. I must stink."
"Yes, but I wouldn't worry, most people do."
"Perhaps my favourite lady servant could get me some breakfast whilst I have a shave."
"Ian, for the last time, I offered to help you, not be your slave."
Ian laughed and neatened his clothes. "I was just teasing you. But will you join me for breakfast? I need some food to steady my pre-jousting jitters."
She smiled. "Look, you go and shave, I'll get Brian to set us up a nice knight's breakfast, and we can share, how about that?"
"You are a lifesaver Barbara," he said and he quickly kissed her on the forehead and made his way to the mirror and to find some kind of razor.
At that moment, the Doctor came into the room. "Oh there you are Chessington. Before you go off to get ready I wanted to wish you luck in the old horsey- and stick-y thing."
Ian and Barbara laughed. "It's called jousting, Doctor," they said in unison.
"I don't care what it's called."
"Well, thank you Doctor, thanks for your support," Ian said.
Barbara folded her arms and glared at the Doctor knowing he had placed a bet on Lancelot to win the tournament. She pondered whether to tell Ian and decided it'd be better to leave it until after the jousting- she didn't want Ian to lose any confidence.
...
Ian put down the visor on his knight's helmet as he sat on his beautiful black horse. He stared across the way to Lancelot who was seated on Caledon, his stunning white steed, and an animal that Ian had read about in story books. He took a deep breath. He was not afraid to admit how terrified he was. Lancelot had done this event many times but Ian was just a novice and it occurred to him that this was extremely dangerous and could very well seriously hurt him. The armour was so heavy and the weight hung around him and made him feel so tired. And then there was the weight of the lance itself which drained all of the energy in his arms as he lifted it into the air. How was he going to ride and carry this thing and use it as a weapon? He'd only practiced a few times and much of it was a disaster. Here he was facing a man whose very name was the weapon he was about to use; and that man seemed fearless like nothing fazed him.
The men stared at each other through the slit on their helmets, and from the stands, Barbara likened the image to two cowboys facing each other in a western, Ian in blue, Lancelot in red, their identical blue eyes darting back and forth at their opponent. Barbara was looking through the Doctor's opera glasses and could see the fear in Ian's eyes. She wished at that moment that she had telepathy so that she could tell him that everything was going to be ok, and that she believed in him so much. Ian's head turned to face her, almost as if he had heard her, he hoped she understood that he was saying hello.
The trumpet sounded and Ian and Lancelot got ready for the joust to begin. Ian raised the lance at horse's height and in his other arm he clutched the shield and the reigns of the horse. As the second trumpet sounded, he started to charge, there was no turning back. He felt his heart pumping furiously in his chest and he felt the adrenalin coursing through him as he got closer and closer to his foe. As the two horses met in the middle, the lances clashed against the other's shield and Ian recoiled from the impact of the strike. He felt pain for a moment and as quickly as the strike had happened, he felt himself slipping from the saddle and onto the ground. He heard distant sounds of cheering and a raucous as he fell onto the ground with a large thud. He watched as his horse continued to run ahead. He saw the faces of the crowd, at first clear as day, and then...they began to blur and fade away. He was losing consciousness...
...
"Ian!" "Ian"
The voices rang out as Ian felt his eyes closing. He felt pain surge through his body, and was unable to move. He wasn't sure if he was paralysed, (it felt so remarkably similar to the way he felt on Skaro) or whether it was just the weight of the armour that forced his body still. He could see through the blur in his eyes and see the people running towards him. He saw Barbara standing above him- then the Doctor- and finally Lancelot standing in his full armour, the sun beating down on the metal and almost blinding him further.
"Ian?" He heard Barbara say. "Are you able to move?"
He didn't reply, and closed his eyes to sleep.
"Does this mean he lost?" the Doctor said nonchalantly. Everyone turned to look at him, scowling at his insensitivity.
"Grandfather, he's really hurt!" Susan shouted at him as she knelt beside Ian and began to remove the helmet to give him some air. He looked so peaceful and handsome as he lay on the ground but his face was covered in sweat and his hair was almost pasted to his head.
"We need to get him to a bed," the Doctor said, suddenly feeling a surge of guilt. "But luckily I don't think it's too serious."
Lancelot and some of the knights lifted Ian into their arms.
"You won Sir Lancelot," Brian said. "I'm sorry Ian was hurt but you've won!"
Lancelot smiled. "I know Brian but let's get Ian back to full health before I claim victory."
"Poor Ian," Susan let out aside to Barbara. "He didn't get much of a turn did he? And now Lancelot's claimed the title again."
"Well I'm not bothered about that. We need Ian to be better. I'm very proud of him- he was a mouse going in front of a lion."
Susan giggled. "Yes, just don't tell Ian he's the mouse!"
...
When Ian awoke, he was wrapped up cosily in a bed and was surrounded by a whole group of people. He adjusted his eyes to the room, it looked like some sort of ancient lab with instruments, and it had dusty scrolls on the table, and potions with weird names written on the labels. He tried to sit up but felt pain down the side of his arm.
"Don't get up, dear boy," the Doctor said. "You have to rest and let your body recover. You had a nasty fall you know? We were very worried about you hmm?"
Ian stared at the old man and smiled. "How long have I been out?"
"Oh a couple of hours my boy, a couple of hours."
"Where am I?"
"Merlin's quarters," Lancelot told him. "He checked you over and you seem to be fine, just a bit bruised."
"I suppose I lost the tournament overall."
"I'm afraid so," Lancelot replied. "But you did very well. Third place is nothing to sneer at."
"Yes, "Barbara added. "Third place even though you had little training."
Ian sat up slowly. "I'm not too worried you know. I'm just glad to be in one piece."
Susan arrived at the bedside. "Do you think he'll be well enough to go to the grand ball tonight, Grandfather?"
"Oh I think he will child, besides we must all celebrate!"
"Celebrate what?" Susan asked.
"Ian's recovery and third place, Lancelot the champion, my inevitably beating Merlin and the bet..."
As he said the last part he suddenly stopped, realising his error.
"Bet? What bet?" asked Ian.
The Doctor tried desperately to change the subject but Ian was persistent.
"Doctor, what bet?"
"Grandfather bet against you in the tournament. He wins a sum of money from Merlin for Lancelot winning."
"Susan! You're my grandchild and yet you told on me!"
As Ian turned and glared at the Doctor, in turn Lancelot turned to look at Merlin.
"Master Merlin, you bet against me?"
"Ah Sire," Merlin stammered. "You see I was only offering support to the weaker man, we all must start somewhere."
Lancelot scowled but Brian was already in hysterical laughter at the revelation.
Ian folded his arms and looked at the Doctor with the same betrayed look seen on Lancelot's face. The Doctor could barely look his friend in the eye.
"Come here Doctor, I'd like a word in your ear," Ian said.
The Doctor gulped and quickly leapt to his feet. He glanced at his wrist which didn't have a watch on it. "Oh will you look at the time! See you later at the ball, Chesterton!" he said as he moved quicker than he ever had done before. Ian managed to find the situation amusing despite what he had been through and laughed gently even though it hurt him to do so.
As the time went by and they were all certain he was well, they all began to depart from the room and give Ian a few hours to rest. Barbara waited behind until last.
"I suppose I should let you sleep," she said reluctant to leave him alone.
Ian smiled. "I guess so. Barbara?"
"Yes?"
"About this ball thingy, who are you going with?"
"Well, actually Lancelot did sort of ask me already."
"Oh..." Ian said with a hint of disappointment in his voice. "He is on a bit of a winning streak isn't he?"
"But I said I'd rather go alone. I mean there's no need for any of us to feel guilty or obliged to pair off. I just want a nice party with all my friends before we set off tomorrow."
"You're right, you get off and get ready, I'll see you tonight. We'll have a few drinks, a dance, and maybe even a chance to get my own back on the old man."
"Sounds perfect."
...
The castle ballroom looked more beautiful than ever before. Susan entered the hall with the Doctor and they were linking arms. She was dressed in a pale blue gown that the queen had loaned her and her hair had little flowers and gems woven through it. The Doctor was dressed in his normal trousers but had at least bothered to wear a green tunic. It didn't really match but he had refused outright to wear tights. In the ballroom the guests were busy dancing and chatting whilst the King and Queen watched on from their thrones. There was an array of delicious looking food on the table as well as lots of wine in goblets. A harpist in the corner of the hall played an assortment of beautiful serenading melodies. It was one of the finest parties Susan had ever been to and she felt privileged to be there.
Brian's eyes widened as he saw Susan dressed so beautifully in the gown. Up until now she'd been used to general casual dresses made more for the servant girls than princesses and she had felt so jealous of Barbara who had been able to wear a lot nicer attire the whole time.
"Susan, look at you!" Brian exclaimed.
"Oh thanks Brian. I love this dress! I wish I could take it home with me."
"You've got enough clothes Susan," the Doctor muttered, but before he had the chance to badger her further, she had gone off to dance with the squire and he was left standing alone by the banquet table.
"What are these awful looking things?" he chuckled to himself. "Ah well, waste not, want not." He sampled the food.
When Barbara and Ian entered the hall, Lancelot was quick to greet them. It was now rather hard to tell the two men apart but thankfully Lancelot had remembered to wear red, and Ian had chosen blue again. Ian felt rather constricted in his navy blue tunic with pale blue tights and brown boots. He didn't want to moan but he did feel a little silly. Barbara on the other hand seemed quite taken with her emerald green gown and her hair woven with matching flowers. She held her head high and was acting as though she was a lady of the realm.
Lancelot kissed her hand. "Welcome M'Lady, welcome Ian. You're fashionably late. But I'll forgive you this time. Barbara, you look beautiful."
Barbara smiled and nodded a thank you. She was about to return the favour when a beautiful blonde woman stepped into view. Ian almost did a double take; he couldn't recall seeing so many gorgeous women in one place at the same time before. Lancelot took the woman's hand and introduced her.
"This is Lady Angela, my date."
Lady Angela smiled, and Barbara and Ian introduced themselves. There was a moment of silence before the king was on his feet announcing that the Doctor and Merlin had a competition to get underway. Everyone began to cheer as the two men made their way to the front of the hall and faced the room full of people.
"What is the importance of this you ask?" the Doctor said aloud. "I merely want to prove to you all that whilst Merlin is a man of great knowledge and invention, he is no more a magician as any of you in this room, or more to the point, no one possesses the powers he claims to have. I'm afraid to report that Merlin is deceiving you all with tricks that are not rooted in any enchantments, they are simply science."
The crowd booed, it appeared that everyone was a big fan of Merlin and did not appreciate their favourite man being mocked by a strange traveller.
"What is the Doctor trying to prove?" Barbara said aside to Ian. "We don't know why we're here, there's no reason to suggest that in this place, magic and power don't exist."
"He doesn't care about all that Barbara; he just wants to prove he's the most intelligent man in the room," Ian replied.
The Doctor glared at Ian. "Stop talking Chatterton! Now, I have examined many of Merlin's plans and it just doesn't prove he can cast spells."
"But it doesn't prove that you are right, Doctor," the King chipped in. "We all take pride in our star magician. Let Master Merlin take centre stage and prove that magic exists here in Camelot, where he was born with the gift that many of us could only dream of possessing."
The Doctor relented, realising he was already losing the battle before he had begun. He let Merlin step up.
"The Doctor is a wise and good man but he does not believe in my magic. So I will show him a simple little trick. I simply say the words and Brian will have donkey ears."
"What?" Brian protested. "Why me?"
"Because you've always been a bit of an ass," Lancelot chuckled. "Anyway, do as you're told, Brian."
"By the stars and the light and the day and the night," Merlin began in a deep and powerful voice. He had his eyes closed for extra drama. "Take this boy, and erase his fears, give this boy some donkey ears."
Ian laughed loudly at the ridiculous rhyme but was shocked when Brian's face turned red and two donkey ears protruded from where his others once had been.
The room descended into laughter and the Doctor looked shocked and uncertain."Where did those ears come from?" he bellowed.
"My powers of course!" Merlin shouted back.
Refusing to be outdone by Merlin, the Doctor ran over to Brian and begun to tug at the donkey ears, hoping they were just props. Brian screamed in pain.
"Ouch my ears!"
The Doctor let go of the donkey ears and scratched his chin in thought. He suddenly was hugely aware that the entire room was staring at him, waiting for his rebuttal; unfortunately he didn't have one!
"Well Doctor," Barbara said through shrieks of laughter. "What do you say to that?"
The Doctor's face turned red with both rage and embarrassment.
"I've had enough of these silly games. It seems you're all much too backwards to understand scientific principle. I'm going back to my ship, come on Susan."
"But Grandfather, you lost, at least be gracious."
"I will not be made to look like an ass," the Doctor harrumphed, and as he said it, a donkey's tail sprouted out of his trousers. The Doctor saw it and marched over to Merlin.
"Remove this thing from my trousers at once!"
"Not until he's changed my ears first!" Brian moaned, annoyed at yet again being one of Merlin's experiments and the butt of everyone's jokes.
Ian and Barbara had never laughed so much in their whole lives. They were now leaning against one another in fits of laughter as the Doctor chased Merlin out of the room.
"Well," the King said as he finally was able to stop laughing. "Shall we get back to the celebrations and let our two wise men sort out their differences?"
Everyone agreed and the musician began to play again.
"What about my ears?!" Brian whined.
"Oh don't worry, they quite suit you," Susan said.
Lancelot ruffled Brian's hair and went to dance with Lady Angela, making no attempt to help his young squire.
"The Doctor won't forget about this in a hurry," Barbara said. "I don't think I will either for a long long time."
"I've had fun here Barbara," Ian said as he took Barbara's hand and asked her to dance.
...
The travellers said their long farewells the next morning and lingered in the forest before they headed inside the TARDIS. There were many goodbyes to be made and many relationships had been formed in their short stay at Camelot. The Doctor, finally able to see the funny side in their stay, smiled as they embarked on their next adventure, leaving the kingdom behind.
...
"Oh I shall miss them," Barbara said as she watched them on the scanner. "Look at them all, what wonderful people."
"You'll miss them too won't you, Grandfather?"
"I suppose I will, my child, I suppose I will."
"One thing you never mentioned, Doctor," Ian began. "What is this place? Did you find out where we were?"
The Doctor sighed and set the TARDIS into motion, gently pressing the buttons with a deep care of the machine. "I'm afraid dear boy, this is one of those things that may never have an answer."
Ian nodded. "Science never has all the answers otherwise we would just stop, eh Doctor?"
"Yes, quite right dear boy, we must learn and keep learning."
"And sometimes," Barbara began. "As you did last night, you must learn to accept that you're wrong."
"Yes, I was in this instance, I was a fool. I admit my mistake."
"A lovable fool," Barbara said as she grabbed the Doctor and began to dance with him around the console. "We never got a chance to dance last night, did we?"
There was a sparkle in the Doctor's eye that Susan had never seen before. Ian and Barbara had certainly changed her grandfather for the better, certainly opened him to a whole universe of new things, and they had made him see that he could be wrong. Ian grabbed Susan's hand and as the TARDIS began to dematerialise and the travellers spun around the console dancing to the rhythm of the rotor as it rose and fell, dancing inside its own glass casing of magic.
...
Lancelot and Brian watched as the TARDIS disappeared in front of their eyes.
"But he said he didn't believe in magic!" Brian squeaked in amazement at the sight.
"Well then I suppose he was lying, Brian. He really was an old magician in a blue box."
"Do you think we'll ever find out who they were?"
Lancelot smiled and put his arm around Brian. "I don't think so Brian, I don't think so."
As they walked into the distance, the faint sound of the ship de-materialising could still be heard like a lingering whisper in the night air. Paths had been crossed and friends had been made. Sometimes the answer never came, but that was the Doctor's journey, never-ending, never knowing, and never settling. Just the old man and his band of travellers destined to travel forever.
