This is also a filling-in-the-gaps story, set in early series two. Surely, Mr Bates and Anna must have met up other than that one time in the pub. What Anna says to his lordship in mid 2x04 indicates that she has had some fairly in depth discussions with Mr Bates at some point, and he definitely must have explained to her why he really left because in 2x05, when Vera again threatens to tell the Pamuk story, Anna shows no surprise.
Also, one thing I felt was missing in the broadcast episodes is the development of their romantic relationship. In series one, they're just friends – a beautiful friendship, but nothing more – and in series two they're suddenly in a serious relationship, which is also nice to see, but the bit in between was never explored. I wanted to write some nervous and flirty Bates and Anna scenes! So here you go. Like in Downton Drama, there are a couple of bits of the broadcast episodes in there, and the other bits you'll have to figure out where they go (e.g. Mr Lang leaving, Ethel getting fired etc).
It starts in the pub in Kirkbymoorside…
...
"We don't have to wait, you know. If you want me to throw up everything and come with you, I will. Gladly."
"I can't marry you yet, not legally. And I won't break the law."
"It's not against the law to take a mistress, Mr Bates."
Here she was, after all this time, still loving him, still willing to sacrifice everything for him. John could hardly believe it. But he couldn't let her do that. She was worth so much more than that.
"I know you, Anna Smith, and I love you, and that is not the right path for you. It won't be long now."
She gave a small smile and nodded, accepting this. He just hoped against hope that it was the truth. Vera had told him that Anna wouldn't be interested in him after he had broken her heart. Clearly, she was wrong, and he thanked God for that. He just hoped that she was also wrong about her claims that he would never be free of her. The lawyer had told him that with evidence of infidelity the divorce process should be relatively easy. But it wasn't done yet, which is why he hadn't contacted Anna. Still, here she was, holding his hands and gazing at him. What should he do now? Was she waiting for him to say something more, to make her a promise? Was it awkward that he wasn't saying anything more? It didn't feel awkward. But he really didn't know what to do now – she'd asked for information and he'd given it, but now…
"When do you finish work?"
Always, no matter how black the situation, Anna managed to surprise him with a completely innocent question. It wasn't, "How long will the divorce take?" or "Are you sure you can manage it?" or even "Why did you break my heart?" No, it was, "When do you finish work?"
John smiled. "We close at six. I'm supposed to clean up afterwards, but I could do that later."
He watched as Anna's mind processed this. "The last bus back to Downton is at twenty to seven," she said.
Darren, the stable hand whom he'd got to cover him at the bar while he took a break, had started to glare at him.
"I think your colleague would like you back up there," said Anna.
"I think he would. Listen, Anna, I can't tell you how glad I am to see you, and I would like to talk to you some more."
"I'd like you to talk to me some more too."
"I'll see if I can get off early. That is, if I can get Darren over there to cover for me again – I'm not sure. But in the meantime, you're welcome to stay here, I could bring you some food or a cup of tea, or…"
"I think I might go for a walk. It seems like a nice village."
"Yes, it is. There's a wood close by as well, at the edge of the village." He gestured towards it.
"Alright." Anna stood up.
John walked her to the door. "You can come back at six or, if I can manage to get off early, I'll come and find you."
"OK." Anna smiled awkwardly, and John found himself wondering if she really would hang around.
He took her hand once more, stopping her at the doorway. "I really am so glad to see you."
Anna smiled and nodded, then turned and left without another word. She'd wanted to say something more, to say that she was glad to see him too, but her throat had constricted and she found all she wanted to do was run outside.
A thousand thoughts pounded around her head. Here he was, she'd found him. He'd told her he loved her and that he wanted to speak some more. Generally, he was acting as if nothing had happened – well, not nothing, but not much. But then that did seem to make sense somehow, because as soon as they'd met up again, in a way it seemed as though they'd never been apart. It seemed so right, so natural; his honesty had spurred hers and she'd found herself boldly offering to live in sin with him again. What would Mrs Hughes say? Well, nothing, thought Anna, because she wouldn't tell her.
Anna wondered if Mr Bates would come back to Downton. Not until it was settled, and they could be married? In the meantime, she pictured herself sneaking off to meet him in Kirkbymoorside. The thought was quite thrilling. Not as thrilling as the thought of having him back by her side for good, but she didn't feel quite ready for that yet – a lot had happened, he had hurt her, and it was better that this reunion was happening in a place far away from anyone who might think anything of it. A place that she could easily leave, when she wanted to, and go back home.
And now she had two hours in which to think, and to thoroughly decide, what her thoughts on the matter, and on him, really were.
...
"So who is she, then?" asked Darren with a snigger.
"Nothing to you," was John's curt response as he stepped back behind the bar.
"Quite a lot to you, though, by the look of it! She's definitely not your daughter, not from the way you were looking at her!"
"Get back to the stables, Darren!" hissed John.
"It's alright, mate, keep your hair on! I won't tell no-one." He swaggered through the back door.
"I might, though!" said one of the regulars, who was sitting at the bar nursing a pint of ale.
"She's just a friend, Derek," said John.
Derek raised his eyebrows. "If you say so. Anyway, I thought you were from London. How did you become acquainted with such a pretty Yorkshire lass, then?"
"I used to work in Yorkshire. She was a colleague. That's all." John's piercing eyes made it clear that this discussion was over. "Are you alright for drinks for now, Derek? I need to have a word with Darren about something."
"Oh, why will you tell him and not me?"
"Not about that." John made a quick exit before he could say something rude. He didn't mind drunks normally – hell, he had no right to judge them – but on this issue, he knew that if Derek said the wrong thing about Anna he was liable to punch him through the wall. All the more reason why he should get Darren to cover for him as quickly as possible.
Darren was more than a stable hand – he was both groom and blacksmith for the customers' horses, and he doubled as a barman or cook whenever was necessary. The publicans, Mr and Mrs Hamblin, did everything else, including the cooking, some bartending and looking after the small number of hotel rooms. John's job was bartending and cleaning, and helping with anything else that needed it.
Darren was quite young, but wise beyond his years and, despite being a bit rough round the edges, he was, on the whole, trustworthy. This was very fortunate given that John had a big favour to ask of him. He stepped into the stable, and allowed his eyes to adjust to the lack of light. "Darren?" he called.
There was a clatter, and a figure came into view behind the horses' troughs, along with a light that abruptly vanished next to the wall. Then Darren stepped towards John, coughing slightly.
"Were you smoking?" asked John.
"Shh! Don't tell Mrs Hamblin! She thinks I'll start a fire if I smoke in here!"
"And well you might."
"That's why I'm next to the troughs, they're filled with water. I like smoking in here, it's me own space, you know? Somewhere I can relax."
John chuckled. "Fair enough."
"You won't tell?"
"I won't. Although, I do have a favour to ask you."
"Anything for you, mate! Depending on what it is." Darren winked.
"Thankyou so much for covering for me just now, I was wondering if you might do so again – not immediately, but if you could try and finish your work early, I was wondering if you could take over from me for the rest of the day."
"Well, you don't ask for much, do you? Do you know how much work I have to do?"
"What, burning down the stables?"
Darren grinned.
"I'll do the cleaning later, I just need to get away from the bar early."
"I'll do it if you tell me who she is."
"How about you do it in exchange for me not telling Mrs Hamblin about your smoking in the stables?"
"Oh, she'd only give me a slap on the wrist. I dunno if that's enough to warrant me doing your work for a whole hour and a half."
"Not necessarily that long, just whatever you can spare."
"Tell me who she is."
John ground his teeth.
"Tell me who she is and you can have all afternoon with her, you can do whatever you want."
"All I want to do is talk to her."
"Go on, then. If you tell me who she is."
"She's an old friend, we used to work together."
"Old girlfriend, more like. You dog."
"I would never do anything to compromise her, and if you tell anyone about this I will punch your teeth through the back of your skull. I like you, Darren, but I am serious about that."
Darren frowned. "The plot thickens. Old fiancée?"
John could feel his temper rising to the surface. "Do you understand me, Darren?" he said through clenched teeth.
"Sure, mate. I'll finish up here, quick as I can, and then I'll come in and let you go. Go get her!" He grinned.
John sighed in relief. "Thankyou. Thanks." He turned to leave.
"I'll want all the details later, though!"
...
Anna walked through the wood from one side to the other – it wasn't very large. On the other side, she stood looking out across the fields for a while and then walked back in the other direction, all the time her mind racing.
What she still didn't understand was why he had left. She figured his wife must have threatened her with ruin if he didn't go to London with her, but why he couldn't have told her that… Presumably it was part of his usual honourable, yet maddening, trait to always force himself to do what he considered the "right thing", even when he didn't want to and even when she told him that she didn't want him to…and so he'd thought that, if his wife wasn't willing to give him a divorce, the "right thing" was for him to just get out of Anna's life. She appreciated his sense of honour, but when it meant breaking both their hearts it was most definitely not the right thing to do. Especially seeing as, from what he'd said today, divorce was obviously not impossible, and he hadn't given up on her, so why hadn't he told her? Coming back to Yorkshire, and stalking her in Downton village, he'd clearly intended to contact her at some point, and say what? "It's all sorted now, so we can be together?" When previously she'd had no idea that it could be sorted or that he was even trying to sort it – why couldn't he have just told her?
"Anna."
She spun around, and there he was, standing on the path, not ten paces behind her. She frowned. "You like sneaking up on me, don't you?"
There it was. After what he'd done, surely she must be angry at him. He'd never seen Anna angry before, so he wasn't sure what to do about it. "I'm sorry," he said. When she didn't respond, he stepped towards her. "I'm sorry I followed you in Downton Village, too. I'm not sure what I was doing exactly, just… I wanted to speak to you, but I knew that I shouldn't, plus in a public place like that it wasn't advisable. So I just watched you."
"Why shouldn't you speak to me?"
"For the same reason that I had to leave."
"How is talking to me now any different, then?"
"Well, now you've sought me out. I'm not going to turn you away."
"But you wouldn't contact me yourself."
"When I was free, I would have. But until then, I have no right to have anything to do with you. I have no right to even gaze upon you, Anna, but please forgive me, because I don't think that I can help it."
He looked into her eyes, she saw the love and torment reflected there, and she felt her anger melt away.
Not yet - why should she feel sorry for him? She looked away, and began walking again, not too briskly as to stop him keeping up with his cane, but more briskly than a regular stroll in the woods. "You owe me an explanation," she said. "What did she say to you, what changed? Nothing had changed about your situation – you'd found her, so if anything your situation had improved, and you'd asked me to marry you and live in a cottage on the estate, and the next thing I know…"
"She threatened you."
"Well, yes, I figured that. I also told you that I didn't care. Anyway, what can she possibly threaten me with – it's not as if we'd actually done anything, and it's not as if the two of you were still together, so what was she planning to say, exactly?"
"Would you like to sit down, Anna? There's a big log up ahead, in a clearing."
"Come here often, do you?"
"Yes. It reminds me of you."
"Interesting considering I've never been here before."
"You've been to the woods before." She had, with him, on many occasions. "Woods, flowers, green grass, meadows – anything that's beautiful reminds me of you. If only because it makes me wish that you were there looking at that beautiful thing with me."
Anna stared at him as they sat down on the log. "You're very eloquent today."
"I've had almost a year to think of all the things I wanted to say to you and didn't."
"Well, you can start by telling me why you left."
"Of course. It was quite simple, really, maybe more simple than you think. She told me that she'd been working in the home of Lord and Lady Flintshire and that she'd heard a scandalous story in the servants' hall there about Lady Mary and that Turkish gentleman."
Anna's mouth fell open. She hadn't been expecting that.
"She said that if I didn't go with her, she'd sell the story to the newspapers. That got my attention, I certainly don't want the Crawley family to be the subject of a scandal, especially not on my account – I don't know if the story is true, but even if it isn't, in these circumstances mud does tend to stick. Anyway, that got my attention, but what actually convinced me to go with her was that then she said that in the story she'd heard, Lady Mary had her maid help her move the man's body, so Vera was intending to put your name into the scandal as well – which was, of course, the whole reason she was doing it. She knew that that'd get me…and it did."
Anna frowned. "I don't see how that would ruin me, though – I was just doing my job, I wasn't -"
"Well you would be swept up in the notoriety of it generally, and then people would ask why is Vera telling this story when she doesn't know anybody involved, and then they'd connect her to me, they'd connect me to you, and…then you really would be ruined. And I couldn't allow that."
Anna was silent for a moment, and he watched her thoughts play across her face. "You're right, that is more simple than I thought. And also a lot worse than I thought."
"Anna, I wouldn't leave you unless it was really bad."
"The thing is, I did say to you at the time that I don't care if she ruins me. There are more important things." She looked him in the eye. "But I do care if she ruins Lady Mary. I didn't keep quiet about that for four and half years to have it…smeared across the tabloids."
John swallowed. "So it's true, then?"
"Oh. Yes. I'm sorry, I hope you don't think that I should've told you, it's just that, well, I couldn't, I couldn't tell anyone; her ladyship asked me not to, but anyway I wouldn't -"
"I know. Of course I didn't expect you to tell me. That must have been hard for you, though, to go through something like that and not be able to talk to anyone about it."
"Yes. It was. It's all over now, though, years ago. And it did bring Lady Mary and I closer together, I think."
John nodded. "You're more than a good servant, you're a good friend to do that."
"Well, I had to. I don't want her ruined – and it wasn't her fault, anyway, he was a vain and arrogant man, who…"
"Did he force himself on her?"
"No, but…she didn't invite him there, he just showed up and convinced her that it was a good idea. He didn't physically force himself on her, but he did force his way into her room, and it sounds like he just expected her to say yes."
"Yes," John nodded, a look of disgust on his face. "I know exactly what sort of man that is."
"Well, listen, I'm glad you did what you could to stop it getting out, and Lady Mary will be as well, if I ever tell her, but…why didn't you just tell me that? I would have understood, I would have let you go."
John looked down. He saw her hand resting on the log beside her and he took it in both of his. He looked up again, and looked deep into her eyes. "Anna, I could not tell you because I could not leave you with a promise that I didn't know if I'd ever be able to fulfil. I didn't know about the law about proof of adultery – I went to see a lawyer after I got to London, he explained my options to me, but at that time I didn't know, and I didn't know if I'd be able to get proof anyway – it was very difficult to get, that's why I spent so long down there. And it was part of her conditions that I couldn't contact you – I'm sure I would've found a way if I'd needed to, but I could not say to you, 'I'm going away with my wife, I won't contact you but maybe one day in a year or ten years' time maybe I'll be free and I'll look you up then!'"
"Well that is basically what you did do, except that you also broke my heart, you made it look like you were choosing her over me, and I knew it was because she'd threatened you, but you wouldn't tell me – I told you that I didn't care, that I'd live in sin with you anyway, and you just walked away!"
The emotion was rising in Anna's voice, but she didn't take back her hand. He held it tighter, stroking it vigorously.
"Stop doing that, you keep acting like it never happened – yes, it was a bad situation, we were always in a bad situation and we still are, and it still would have hurt either way, but if you had just been honest with me then it wouldn't have been you who was hurting me. I can see that you were backed into a corner, but it didn't have to be you who…" Anna's voice broke, and she ripped her hand away from John's to wipe her eyes.
John hunched forward, a look of utter despair on his face.
Anna composed herself, then looked at him. He had begun to cry silently. She regretted that, and she took back his hand. "Please explain it to me, because I'm trying to understand."
John looked up at her slowly. "Anna," he said, his voice so soft it was hardly a whisper. "I could not leave you with a promise I didn't know I could keep. I could not ask you to wait for me when you might have been waiting for the rest of your life. In your life, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to be a wife and mother, and if I cannot give you that, you should get it from someone else."
"But there isn't anyone else. I've told you that, there never could be."
John closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "If I broke your heart and made you hate me, then maybe there could." He opened his eyes again, and she found she could not break his gaze. "I was trying to set you free."
"Well it didn't work, because I don't want to be free of you."
John's eyes softened, and a shadow of a smile spread across his face. "Thankyou," he whispered. "I can't tell you how glad I am to hear you say that."
"You're quite maddening, you know. You do these things because you think it's the right thing to do in the circumstances, but if you didn't want it and I didn't want it, then how is it right?"
"I'm sorry. I will not be so proud as to ask for your forgiveness, but please know how sorry I am. And I always will be."
Anna nodded. "Where to from here, then?"
"Well…you know I'm still working on the – the divorce. And I don't know how long it will take, but… But I can't tell you how much I have missed you, and I would love to see you again."
"Go on."
"Well, I usually get one day off a week. Lately that's been on a Wednesday, but if your half-day is today, I was thinking maybe I could arrange to change my day off."
"Or I could. I could speak to Mrs Hughes."
"Wednesday's your errands day, though."
"I'm sure I could manage to change my errands day. The question is, would I be able to explain that to Mrs Hughes…"
John smiled. "Well, up to you. I'd hate for her to ask you any uncomfortable questions."
"She is pretty strict, Mrs Hughes. I wouldn't be able to tell her the truth." Anna laughed. "Can you imagine her face if I said, 'Mrs Hughes, can I change my half-day and my errands day so that I can go and meet a man in Kirkbymoorside?'"
John laughed. "Well, that's the other thing I was thinking. What if we met somewhere else, somewhere in between Downton and here? Then it'd be shorter travelling time for both of us, and we'd, well, I suppose we'd be -"
"We'd be in a place where no-one knew us."
Mr Bates nodded and winced at the same time. "That's not entirely appropriate, is it?"
"Why not? I'm old enough not to need a chaperone. I don't have one now, do I?"
"Good point." John looked around. They were very much alone.
"I think it'd be nice if we were somewhere where no-one knew us, then no-one would look twice at us. We'd be alone even if we were in a crowd."
"Yes. Yes, that's what I meant. Alone in a crowd. Then we could, you know, just be ourselves, just be…yes. There was a little village I saw from the bus to Downton the other day, it was called Topcliffe, I think. It was by a river that looked nice."
"Mr Bates, are you asking me to walk out with you in Topcliffe?"
"Well, only if that is agreeable to you, Miss Smith. Or if you'd rather meet somewhere with more of a crowd, then -"
"No, Topcliffe is agreeable to me." Anna laughed at the way he'd suddenly come over all coy and nervous.
"Really?" John gazed at her, his heart leaping for joy, but he didn't move. He kept his eyes on her.
"That sounds like a plan." She smiled, and he smiled back.
"Err, well, I think it'd be better if I face the uncomfortable questions rather than you, so how about I try to arrange to change my day off, and I'll let you know if I can manage it."
"Alright. You have my address."
"Oh, and I live above the pub. You can contact me there. Any time you like."
"I might do that."
"Anna, thankyou so much for coming."
"Couldn't keep away, could I?"
"Thankyou. I mean, I…I really did want to contact you, I have a stack of half-written letters that – that I couldn't send, I had no right to contact you, I -"
"Yes you do have a right to contact me – I want you to contact me!"
John smiled. "Thankyou. I will."
...
They walked back through the woods together, and to her bus stop. Anna was hoping the bus would be late, because it wasn't fair, she'd only just got him back and now she had to leave again, had to miss him again… But the bus was on time. As the headlights came into view, John pulled her to him in a tight embrace. As the bus came to a stop in front of them, he kissed her temple and pulled away. "I miss you already," he said, with a smile.
Anna reached up and kissed him on the cheek. "See you soon?" she asked.
"Definitely," he replied, reaching to open the door of the bus and then holding out his hand to assist her as she climbed in.
"I will hold you to that promise to write to me," Anna said, leaning over the edge of the bus and looking down at him.
"I will, Anna. I promise you."
As the bus pulled away, she smiled and waved, and blew him a kiss.
He caught it, and held it against his heart.
