I love her.

Once the thought had taken fruition, there was no going back. She was sleeping next to me like she had so many times before, her face the picture of calm. I was wide awake and trying desperately to stop the wave of emotions crashing over me. She was beautiful whether she wanted to acknowledge it or not. Her auburn hair was spilling across the pillow, her slender arms resting under her head. The oversized t-shirt she wore as a nightgown had ridden up revealing pale thighs and a pair of black boyshorts. Oh no. I turned away, the heat already rising to my cheeks. I tried to focus on the blank canvas sitting a few feet away. It had remained that way for a few weeks now as I struggled to find a decent subject. I had no idea what I wanted to paint or even what materials I wanted to use which was new. I never had trouble thinking before...before this feeling started taking over my life.

It was...difficult to say the least. My heart was torn between remaining the devoted best friend and taking the risk of revealing my true feelings. I had no idea which outcome would be worse: being heartbroken for the rest of my life or destroying the only true friendship I'd built in years. Our normal routines had become torture. Just walking to school was enough to threaten my sanity. I ran a hand over my face, willing the thought away for the thousandth time. I knew it was useless; there was no going back now. I felt the bed shift and I risked returning my focus to my houseguest. She was sitting up now, her deep brown eyes squinting in my general direction. I pretended that her gaze didn't rip me to shreds.

"I don't think I've ever seen someone wake up that fast."

She shrugged, "You learn to sleep with one eye open living with Quinn. You're still awake?"

I smiled weakily, "Can't really relax enough. I've got a lot on my mind."

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Could I tell her the truth? No, it could never happen, "It's going to take a fat stack of cash to examine the innermost workings of my brain, Morgendorffer."

She reached over, grabbing my hand, "I think I could do one better."

And then she was leaning forward, her hands grasping my shirt as she kissed me. I pulled her closer until she was sitting on my lap. She pulled away, her breath coming out in short gasps, "I don't..."

"It's okay...I know. I've always known" she smiled.

Now, it was my turn. I kissed her with all the intensity I could muster. She knew all along. Was I so obvious? I closed my eyes, not wanting to think about that now. Because I finally had her. She was right here...

"JANE!"

My eyes shot open and I was momentarily blinded by the sunlight. My eyes adjusted and a figure came into focus: Daria. She was standing over me, dressed in her typical attire. Her boots were already tied and her backpack was hanging off one shoulder. She eyed me for awhile before speaking.

"We're going to be late. Come on."

I stared, mouth agape. It was all a dream? Of course...

She raised an eyebrow, "What is it?"

I shook my head, "Nothing. I need a shower."

She stepped aside as I stood up and ran towards my bathroom. I slammed the door and turned the sink on full blast. I couldn't let her hear me sob. I splashed my face with warm water and glared at my reflection, icy blue eyes glared back.
You're going to get ready, you're going to go out there and you're going to pretend.
Just like always.

Not a Daria/Jane shipper but something I've decided to mess around with. Enjoy!