Author's note: I don't know where this is going to go, but it's about 2 am right now and I drank three rockstars. This story will have swearing and could get dark. It probably isn't suitable for most ages so I suggest that children shouldn't read this.
WARNING:THIS IS A SHIP. I REPEAT. A S-H-I-P. A MALE/MALE RELATIONSHIP. IF YOU ARE "UNCOMFORTABLE" WITH THIS DO. NOT. READ. ONE MORE TIME: THIS IS A SHIP AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT DO NOT READ IT.
DISCLAIMER: J.K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter franchise, not me.
Chapter one: The Letter
The summer was humid and slow. Harry Potter was sitting in his flat, hands shaking, reading a letter from the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was only a few months after the Battle of Hogwarts, and life was tough. After the war, Harry left Privit Drive and found a small place in London. It was quiet, but nice all the same. He got a tabby kitten and named her Dora. Teddy and Andromeda came over once every week and Andromeda would ask how he was, Harry would lie right through his teeth the whole time and hold Teddy like a life-line. Ron and Hermione would also come over and talk to him, but he still had an empty war hit Harry hard. So many people died, and it was his fault. If he didn't go to that damn graveyard in the Tri-Wizard tornament, if he had done something different before the war, Remus, Sirius, Dumbledore, and dozens more would still be alive. Reading the letter over again he didn't know what to think.
"Dear Mr. Potter," it said. " Since you did not complete your 7th year at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry, you are welcome to come back as an 8th year and finish your education. Please send a reply by July 31st.
Regards,
Minevera Mcgonagall Headmisteress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry"
He put the letter on the coffee table and sat back in his chair. Harry wanted to go back, he really did, but there were so many memories in the castle that he's rather forget. Dora walked up to his legs and purred quietly. Harry bent down and picked the kitten up and held her tightly. " I don't know Dora," He spoke, " I want to go back, I really do, but what's the point. People will stare, I'll learn almost nothing, then become a shitty auror for the rest of my life. It's practcally mapped out for me."
"Mew." was the only reply he got. Harry chuckled softly and set Dora down. He got up and walked to the kitchen to pour a glass of fire whiskey. It burned when he drank it, but the alcohol helped clear his head. Harry poured another glass. He stared at the letter thoughtfully. "Fuck it." Harry downed the amber liquid and picked up a piece of parchment and a quill and wrote his reply. He called for Nuntius, his new owl, and gave it the letter. Nuntius wasn't as special as Hedwig, but he would do. "Take this to Hogwarts," He told the owl. It hooted and flew out the window. Harry sighed and and walked back to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of fire whiskey. When regret sets in, he might as well be drunk.
Harry woke up the next morning with a strong hangover. A foreign arm wrapped around his waist the wizard's eyes fluttered open. 'God damnit, again?' Harry turned his head slightly to see a handsome man with a messy head of brown hair. Carefully, he slipped out of the light grasp padded to the bathroom. Harry glanced in the mirror and raised his eyebrows. He looked like shit, dark circles the size of bruises were under his eyes and hickeys covered his neck. Harry sighed and went to turn on the shower. The scorching water felt good on his tensed muscles. In the other room, he heard the man get up from the bed. The black haired young man felt horrible for getting piss drunk and calling his ex to hook up. He didn't normally do this but it was what he needed after the letter. Harry heard the door to his flat open and close quietly, indicating his ex leaving. It hurt a little to think he left without saying goodbye.
He finished showering and dried off. Walking into the kitchen with only a towel on, Harry turned on the coffee maker. He took a mug from the drying rack and was going to set it on the counter when a knock at the door startled him into dropping the mug. He swore quietly and turned towards the door. " Be there in a minute," Harry yelled. He stepped over the broken ceramic and walked swiftly to the door and opened it. Hermione and Ron stood there with two paper bags that smelled suspiciously like eggs, bacon, and fruit.
"Harry we just wanted to check up on you, we got letters yesterday from Hogwarts." Hermione said with concern. The wizard nodded swiftly and welcomed his friends in.
" Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Come on in, I just made some coffee." They came in and set the bags on the table. Harry then realized he was practically naked and violently blushed. "Hold on, give me a minute to put something on, I'll be right back." He went to put on jeans and a Weird Sisters t-shirt. Harry trudged to his bathroom and gulped down a hangover potion. Instantly the pounding headache and nausea were gone. Content, he ambled back to the front room. On the way, Harry picked up a pack of cigarettes and lit it. He took a drag and blew it out slowly.
"Those things are going to kill you one day ya know." a quiet voice spoke behind him. Ron stood awkwardly, face as red as his hair.
"I know, yet the damn things still end up in my house. It's mad." Harry said as he took another drag. Ron chuckled and patted Harry on the back. They both moved to the kitchen to talk more. Hermione gave Harry a disaproving look when she saw the cigarette.
"Harry," She said exasperated, "I told you not to smoke, it's terrible for you." The black-haired wizard stared straight at witch and took a long drag and blew the smoke slowly out the window beside him. Hermione gave him a look and went back to setting out breakfast. Ron noticed the empty bottle of fire whiskey. He prodded his girlfriend and titled his head to the bottle. They shared a look of concern.
The couple knew Harry wasn't doing well after the war. They watched him carefully as he refilled Dora's food and water bowls. The war hurt them all, but Harry was damaged more than anyone. He tries to fill his life with booze, sex, and nicotine, but the saddness was still clear in his eyes. Ron glanced at his best friend unhappily. He didn't want to say anything, but when Hermione and him walked up the stairs to Harry's flat, they saw his ex boyfriend swiftly leaving their best friend's place. The two were completely approving when Harry came out as bisexual two months ago. He looked happier than he's been in months when they accepted it. Harry stroked his kitten with a small smile on his face. "So, did you get your Hogwarts letter yesterday?" Hermione asked him uncertainly.
"Yeah, it came last night," Harry replied as he put out his cigarette. He took another mug from the drying rack and poured a cup of coffee. Harry took a sip and winced as he thought about what he did. The only thing he could remember is picking up the bottle. Fuzzy memories of texting Brian and more drinking.
"Do you think you're going this year?" Ron mentioned casually as he took a bite of eggs. Harry nodded and took another sip of coffee.
"I already sent my reply. In a few weeks I might visit Diagon Ally and pick up some supplies." He didn't really know how to feel about going back to school, walking the halls where so many people were brutually murdered. Hermione lit up at the comment.
"Harry! That's great, you've been cooped up in this appartment far too long." Harry smiled, but she could see that it didn't quite reach his eyes. She was worried for her friend. He hasn't been right since the Battle of Hogwarts. It hurt Hermione to see her friend like this. Harry refuses to admit he's hurting and tries to cover it up with fake smiles and lies. Harry grabbed a small serving of breakfast and picked at it quietly. The three ate in silence, the only noise forks scratching plates and Dora playing with her toy mouse.
After a short visit the couple left the small flat and Harry was alone again. He noticed the empty fire whiskey bottle laying on the the floor. "Shitshitshitshit," Harry started panicing. "Shit Dora, they saw didn't they? They fucking saw. Shitshitshit." He started pacing the floor and tugging at his hair. "Fuck Dora, they saw Brian too didn't they? Fuck this is bad, this is really bad." The kitten started to mew frantically and run around Harry. In a rush, he picked up the bottle and threw it against the wall. shards of glass flew everywhere and Harry picked up Dora and sheilded her from the pieces. Glass enbedded into his skin. "Fuck," he winced. Harry limped to his bedroom and grabbed his wand. He pointed it at himself and used a levitation spell to take the glass out. It hurt like hell, but there was a flask of fire whiskey in his nightstand. He leaned over and opened the drawer. As Harry suspected there was a sliver flask. He gently took it from the drawer and downed the entire thing in one go. A warm feeling spread in is abdomen and the pain started to fade.
In a small section of his brain, Harry knew this was a bad idea. He stumbled back to the kitchen and dug through the cabinets. The pain was gone but regret was setting in and Harry just wanted to forget. There was no alcohol in the kitchen, livingroom, bedroom, or even the bathroom. "God damnit, where are they?" He mumbled offhandedly. Harry snatched up the pack if cigarettes from the coffee table and lit one. He took a long drag and felt his tenseness instantly faded. Harry sighed of relief and sagged on his couch.
Dora climed up on the couch and snuggled up to her owner. He scratched her ears and smiled contently. His special little girl helped the loneliness a bit, made his life just a tad brighter. Dora looked into Harry's eyes and let out one meaningful "Mew."
Three weeks later, Harry sat at a table in Diagon Ally, quietly munching on some ice cream from Florean Fortescue's. Dora poked her head out of his hoodie pocket curiously. He didn't want to leave her at the flat all by herself;the last time he did that Harry came home to four throw pillows torn to shreds and a broken lamp. He laughed softly and patted her head. Harry's birthday came and went quickly. He didn't want to bother the Weasley family, so he had some chinese take-away and a store bought choclate cake. In complete honesty, it looked quite sad, but he caught up on his favourite tv program. Errol,suprisingly still alive, brought a few gifts. Hermione gave him a new book on quidditch strategies, and Ron sent him some kind of muggle whiskey called Jack Daniels with the note "It's not as strong as fire whiskey, but just as good-Ron". The Weasley clan sent him some sweets and a few products from the Joke Shop. All in all, it was nice day. Harry finished his ice cream and threw away the trash. He purchased mostly everything on his school list; only new robes and the pet store. Dora needed some supplies for the first few months of school. Harry decided to get the robes last; the kitten in his hoodie pocket was becoming restless.
With the cat supplies bought, the black-haired wizard headed for Madam Malkin's. Dora played with her new toy happily as Harry opened the door. Bells chimed above him and he heard chattering in the shop. Harry raised his eyebrows when he saw one Draco Malfoy getting his school robe hemmed by Madam Malkin. Malfoy looked over and nodded towards the wizard. "Potter."
"Malfoy." Repiled Harry stiffly. He hadn't seen Malfoy since the trials. He spoke at his and Narcissa's, telling the Wizenmagot about the Manor and the Forbidden Forest. Mrs. Malfoy hugged him and thanked him. Malfoy just shook Harry's hand swiftly; although his mother made him do so. Since then he hadn't seen hide nor hair of the Malfoy family. Harry sat down and waited quietly.
"Go ahead and stand on this dearie." Madam Malkin said as she finished Malfoy's robes. She patted his shoulder, "You're all sorted , you have a nice day." Malfoy thanked the kind older woman and nodded again to Harry. He nodded back to the blonde. Malfoy in the past few months grew very handsome. He's always had a certain attractiveness to him, but the asshole always topped it.
Malfoy started leaving the product out of his hair, which made it look so soft and fell just below his ears. Malfoy's eyes looked like two pools of silver. Harry's eyes widened slightly, "Fuck." he mouthed. Was he actually attracted to Malfoy of all people? He hadn't had a drink all day, he was definitely sober.
Madam Malkin smiled at Harry, "You're done dear." she said politely. He thanked her and paid for everything. Dora was starting to act up again. He was worried there wouldn't be a hoodie by the time he got home. The young man checked his watch as he walked through the streets of Diagon Ally. It was practcally empty now at the late hour. He tapped his wand on the enterance and the bricks moved one by one showing the dingy back of the Leaky Cauldron. Harry waved to Tom and left the pub quickly, avoiding conversation. His flat was only four blocks from the Leaky Cauldron. Dora crawled out from the hoodie pocket and scaled his jacket. The wizard chuckled and took the kitten's claws out from his favorite hoodie.
It didn't take long for the man and animal to get back to the small flat. Harry set Dora on the floor and hung his keys on the hook. He went to check the fridge to find it empty. "Looks like takeaway," mummbled the wizard, "again." Dora ran around, her little bell tingling as she went. He took the phone off the receiver and dialed the number for his favorite Thai place. Everything was fine, like the calm before the storm.
Platform 9 3/4 was full of excited children and their parents trying and failing to rein them in. Harry looked over the crowds with sad eyes. There were so many people, fresh little faces unburdened by the war; old faces too, tired of fighting, yet still strong. It took searching, but near the end of the train was a secluded compartment. Dora poked her head out from her carrier and gave a small purr of agreement. Harry lifted his trunk up on the rack and sat with a huff. He wanted to see his friends, he did really, but it was nice to have some peace and quiet before the talking, hugs, questions, he was a nervous wreck. The green eyed man dug in his pocket for a cigarette and cracked the window.
"You shouldn't do that," a small female voice spoke in the compartment doorway.
He looked over to see Ginny standing there. They hadn't talked since Fred's funeral. Harry took a drag and blew it out the window.
"I know," He replied, "but like I told Ron, the damn things still end up in my pocket. It's a mystery." Harry shrugged and took another drag. Ginny sat down opposite him and glared playfully at Harry.
She snatched the cigarette from his mouth and put it out. "Ron's right, this thing," She waved the cigarette in Harry's face, "is a deathstick."
The wizard rolled his eyes and took it from her hands. He pulled the lighter from his pocket and re-lit the newly named "deathstick". It was calming as the smoke filled his lungs and back through his nose. "Yes well my deathstick is wonderful, thank you." he replied, letting his head rest on the back of the seat. Ginny laughed lightly and started chatting. The two engaged in small-talk about the summer holdidays while Dora jumped around the compartment happily. Eventually Ron, Hermione, and Neville joined them and the quintet talked and played exploding snap.
It was pouring rain by the time the train reached Hogsmead. Dora hid in Harry's hood to avoid the rain. Students were staring, mesmerized by the once self-pulling carriages. Thestrals were standing ready to pull students to the school. Harry gave Hermione a smile when she glanced at him, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. The group ran to the closest carriage and got in. Dora hopped out of Harry's hood and jumped into Ginny's lap. The kitten purred happliy as she pet her. "Sometimes I think Dora likes you more than me," Harry chuckled. Ginny smiled and patted his shoulder.
"Aww, don't worry, she still loves you, as long as you give her food at least." The last comment made the whole carriage laugh. A comfortable silence settled amongst the group. The carriage came to a stop only minutes later. Dora went back into Harry's hood as they left the dry warmth. The group of five saw Malfoy, Zabini, and Parkinson not far from them. Harry could tell Ron was about to make a jab at the trio and put a hand on the red-heads shoulder. Over the summer, Harry grew much taller, perhaps taller than Ron. He started wearing contacts, keeping his glasses in the deepest drawer in the flat.
The entrance hall looked as beautiful as it was before the war. A chandelier hung high near the middle of the grand ceiling. The group continued to the Great Hall. Harry remembered when he came into here last May, when it was a war hospital, and saw Remus and Tonks laying side-by-side, eyes open and staring at the enchanted ceiling ; and when he say the Weasley clan standing around one lifeless body, Fred, with George hovering over his twin. That was the first time he saw the man cry. The wizard was shooken from his memmories when Ginny placed a gentle hand on his. "It's a bit strange being here, huh?" she wispered to him.
Harry looked deep into her eyes. "Yes," he replied quietly, "I suppose it is." Neville cleared his throat loudly and the two jumped. Harry blushed the color of Ron's hair and ducked his head. The five of them resumed their light converstaion until Mcgonagall stood. The Great Hall fell into an intrigued silence.
Her speech was short, consisting of two meaningful words. "Welcome Back." She sat back down and food appeared on the tables.
Ron's smile grew ten-fold. " Mione, you 'ave to 'ry uh 'assed ohaoes." Hermione wiped the bits of potato off her face and glared at Ron.
"Ronald, if you speak with a mouthfull of food one more time, I will seal your jaw shut for a month and the only thing you'll be able to have are nutrient potions. Understood?" Ginny snorted and went back to her meal. Ron nodded silently, mortified at the thought of a liquid diet. The bright witch leaned over the table and kissed her boyfriend's forehead.
Off in his own world, Harry looked over at the Slytherin table. Malfoy was talking quietly to Zabini, obviously enjoying the subject. There was a small happy grin on his face that made Harry involentaryly light up. Neville waved a hand in Harry's face to gain his attention. "Everything all right Harry? You seem a little off."
"Huh?" Harry responeded distractically. "Oh...yeah I'm fine." He stood from the table and made some excuse about the bathroom. He needed a drink;or three. Harry made his way throught the castle, slowly making his way to the kitchens. The little pear on the painting giggled when he tickled it, opening the enterance.
As soon as he stepped foot through the door two small arms wrapped around Harry's legs. " Master Harry Potter sir, it's been too long, too long indeed." Dobby the house elf squeezed his legs tighter. Harry gently peeled the excited creature from his body.
"Nice to see you too Dobby, I need a favor from you." Dobby bobbed his head vigorously. The wizard whispered the request in the elf's ear. " I need a few bottles of fire whiskey Dobby, I want to throw a small back to school party for the 8th years. Though I don't want anyone to know, it should be a surprise." The elf looked cautious at first, but complied nonetheless. Harry thanked Dobby gratefully and left the kitchen. He knew the astronomy tower was empty, seen as a loud chatter could be heard from the doors of the Great Hall. Harry grinned brightly and ran to the tower, fire whiskey in tow.
Thirty minutes and one empty bottle later the green eyed man was sitting on the ledge of the astronomy tower, dangling his feet off the edge. He cracked open the next bottle and took a large swig. Harry heard the door behind him creak and he swiftly turned, almost falling off the tower, only to be caught by a pale hand.
"Potter you fucking idiot," he grumbled, taking the bottle from a sniggering Harry. "are you trying to kill yourself before the term even starts?" Harry looked up at Draco and gazed into his eyes. The blonde blushed and mumbled something the sounded like, "Stop staring at me you drunk creep."
Draco hoisted the other man up and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "Oh...hey there Malfoy, Ma-a-alfo-o-oy-y-y...hehe,"
Then Harry threw up on Draco's new leather shoes. 'Damn.'
It took five trips, three of them to vomit, two were just four minutes of dry heaving, but they made it to the 8th year common room. Harry stumbled in first, laughing and babbling about something or other. Ron and Hermione were waiting by the fire, looking worried sick. Hermione spotted the drunk wizard first. "Harry James, where have you been? We've been up all night!"
"He was at the astronomy tower." Malfoy spoke quietly by the doorway. "The imbecile just about fell off before I grabbed him." Ron was still on the couch, conflicted between yelling at Malfoy and hugging him. His girlfriend, apparently went for the latter. She enveloped him in a hug and thanked him over and over. Harry had already passed out on the floor by the fire, snoring loudly.
Ron chuckled and poked him lightly. "Oi mate, get up, your bed is comfier than this floor."
Harry stumbled up from the ground and straightend his clothes. "I'm up," He declared, but then dry heaved into a plant pot.
Draco walked over to help the wizard to the dorms, but Ron stopped him. "Don't even think about it Malfoy, he's my friend, I'll help him." Draco rolled his eyes and contined to help Harry up.
"You have no need to get your wand in a knot weasel, I'm only helping Potter because we're dorm mates." He wrapped an arm around Harry again for support and carried him to the dorm. Draco wasn't surprised Potter got himself into a situation like this. The bottle in his hand was half empty, while there was two on the floor, an unopened bottle and another empty one. Suddenly, Harry looked over at him.
"Draco, your eyes are like two deep pools of molten silver." The drunken man leaned on Draco's shoulder. A blush spread across the blonde's pale face. He pushed the head off his shoulder and continued up the stairs. Harry continued babbling nonsense all the way up to the dorm room. Harry stopped Draco from opening the door and pinned him up against it. For a drunk man, the black-haired drunk had a mean grip.
"Potter, what the hell are you-" Draco started, being interupted when two firm lips pressed against his. Draco's eyes widened, but he found himself leaning in. Two arms went from pressing on his chest to wrapped around his waist. Draco reached back to open the door and walked backwards to one of the beds, both still kissing, comming up for air every so often. Draco tore off Harry's shirt as Harry unbuttoned Draco's. The green-eyed wizard gently pushed the other into a laying position. He slowly made his way to the other man's trousers, leaving a trail of kisses. "Just you wait," Harry wispered seductively, "just." a kiss. "you." he unzipped the trousers. A moan could be heard through the hall outside. Hermione looked up at the stairs puzzled, then looked at Ron.
"Did you hear that?" she enquired. Ron replied with a small shrug. The witch sighed and went back to reading her book.
Harry woke up, yet again, with a hangover. It took him a few seconds to realize there was someone in the bed with him. Carefully, Harry slipped away from the other...guy apparently... and went to the bathroom. He turned on the shower, letting the hot water run on his body. He didn't know what happend last night. The last thing Harry could remember was opening the second bottle. There were vauge memories of kissing, blonde hair, and dry heaving into a plant pot. The harder he thought, the more he wanted to throw up. Harry finished washing and dried off. Walking back into the bedroom, the wizard curiously peeked at the sleeping blonde. His eyes widened in mute horror when the man rolled over. Malfoy, although quite adorable when asleep, was right there in all his drooling glory.
Quickly, Harry dressed and left the dorm. In the common room, Ron and Hermione were wispering furiously to each other, but went suddenly silent at the sight of Harry. "How are you feeling mate?" Ron asked the wizard cautiously. Harry wandered over by the fire and flopped onto the loveseat.
The emerald-eyed young man groaned and squinted at Ron, realizing that in his hurry he forgot to put his contacts in. "Just fucking peachy Ron." Harry looked in the general direction of Hermione. "Do you still have the spare glasses I gave to you for emergencies?" The bright witch gave him a puzzled look but nodded anyways. She set her book on the coffee and stood.
"Of course, it's in my trunk...?" Hermione took a good look at her best friend and frowned. There were deep cresents under his blood-shot eyes. "Harry," She questioned, "Do you remember anything from last night? I mean, you seemed a touch upset."
Said man gave Hermione a dry look. "Yes of course I remember last night," he paused. "Well, mostly." She sighed, wondering what happend to the sweet, innocent boy the witch met seven years ago. Hermione once heard that war can change a person drastically. 'Apparently' she pondered, 'It really can.'
The Harry Ron knew before the war was gone. Sitting here was practically a stranger. A stranger who smoked to feel calm, who gets piss drunk just because. He looked like shit too. Harry's normally emerald green eyes were dull and blood-shot. "Here Harry," Ron looked up from the fire to see Hermione hand Harry his spare glasses. It was strangely nostalgic seeing the funky wire frames back on his face. Ron's stomach growled loudly, it was time for breakfast.
With his sight restored, Harry and his friends headed for the Great Hall. Up in the dorms, Draco Malfoy stirred awake. He rolled over to checked the time. "Shitfuck," There was only thirty minutes of breakfast left. Draco jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. He stopped abruptly stoppped. The blonde remembered what happend the night before. Draco slapped his forehead. "fuck." Did he actually sleep with The Boy Who Will Not Just Fucking Die Already? The evidence was clear on his...silk...bedsheets...'god fucking damnit what have I done?'
As Harry bit into a piece of bacon, trying to recall the night before. He could remember the kitchen, and the second bottle of fire whiskey, but it started getting fuzzy after that. "Oh guys," He began, "did you know Malfoy is my Dorm mate? I woke up this morning, and boom, there he was." Harry "forgot" to mention that he woke up next to a naked Draco Malfoy wrapped around him...who was also naked. Flashes of skin, heat, and silky blonde hair. Harry blushed scarlet. "Shit" He mouthed. The wizard stood quickly and left the Great Hall. His friends called after him, but Harry ignored them. He didn't know where to go, so he went to the last place anyone would find him,the library.
'This is nice,' Harry thought as he lit a cigarette. The library was empty , even Miss Pince was gone. He slid to the floor, his head hitting the wall. It was quiet, calm, it was just how he liked it.
"What the hell are you doing?" Harry jumped at the voice above him. He looked up to see a tall blonde figure. The wizard sighed, taking a long drag of his cigarette. He waved his hand, signaling that he wanted Malfoy to leave. Instead, the blonde sat down in front of Harry. Malfoy pulled a book from the shelf beside him and blew the dust from it. Then, he just started reading.
Draco had no idead waht the fuck he was doing. There was his long-time enemy, smoking. He was just staring at the pages, turning them every-so-often. "I'm sorry." Potter looked him straight in the eyes. " I'm really, really sorry."
