A story of falling in love and gaining trust. Be with the Winchester brothers as they try to have a normal life, while the supernatural world hover around the corner. Will Dean overcome his demons and forgive himself for the alcoholism? Will Sam stay with Gabriel even when his ex-girlfriend Kali shows up, putting everything under questioning?
Will Castiel make Dean believe in himself, and at the same time find what his future holds for him? Will Gabriel stay true to his promises and won't run away?
Will they find their happy ending?
And what does Archangel Cassiel have to do with all of that?
Lawrence, Kansas.
Another night went by drinking in Shenago Lounge. Dean was practically friends with every employee, which for some of them was just sad. Brad, who was a bartender, sometimes looked at Winchester with pity in his eyes, because the heartbreak was written all over his face. Everyone could see that he was losing control, didn't knew what to do with himself and his life. Lost was that carefree personality, that was one of his good points. He acted like nothing mattered anymore, that just because you lost something you can back off from life and drown in liqueur.
When Brad heard him asking the waitress for more alcohol to drink, he gave her a sing to ignore that, and went there himself. The bar was empty, so he didn't have to worry about clients getting mad for abandoning the bar.
- I think it's time for you to go home. - He stated, his voice toneless. Dean looked at him, his eyes unable to focus on his face.
- And I think that it's not your business. - It was hard for him to speak, his tongue tangled. He drank the last glass of booze that was standing on the table and stared at the bartender in expectance. Brad called one of the waitresses for her to take those empty glasses, and looked again at Dean.
- I won't give you any more today. You paid for what you drank already, so go home. - His voice wasn't threatening, but there was an edge to it. Winchester didn't respond, just stood up, looked at Brad with annoyance and got out of the bar without a glance back.
Bartender stared after him for few more seconds, hoping that he will be okay. It would be crushing to see another person lose themselves when they could be so much more.
When Dean walked to his car, the sudden realisation that he can't drive his Impala practically made him sober. He looked at his watch, which was on his right wrist. It was past twelve pm and now, after that confrontation, he just wanted to go home. For that he would have to wake Sam and ask him to come and get him from the parking lot. He didn't have any money left, so he couldn't call a cab. It made him feel like crap, exactly the same way like the past four times, and he still done that. A never ending cycle. Dean took his phone out and dialled Sammy's number. He picked up after the third signal.
- Where are you Dean? - He asked immediately, his voice sleepy. Dean felt even worse. He won't even give his brother those few hours of rest.
- I'm at Wakarusa Drive, near the subway. - As a response he got a heavy sigh.
- I will get you. Wait for me.
Winchester hid his phone in his jacket pocket and looked around. There was nothing left to do aside from sitting on the ground with his back by the Impala. Everything that happened recently came back to him with more force than last time the memorises hit him.
He was so happy that after six months he will see her again, and everything will be perfect again. But then, he can never be happy. Good things doesn't happen to him. He never deserves them.
Lisa cheated on him. Even with their everyday chatting, and long mails. Even with the promises they were making. She cheated on him. And it hurts so freaking much, because she was the first person he wanted to have a family with. Whit whom he was ready to spend the rest of his days. For her he spent half of a year working his hands of, because she wanted a true home. Tears appeared in his eyes and he wiped the furiously. He won't cry again. Even if he felt like nothing. He doesn't have a job. He spend all of his money on alcohol. If father saw him like that, he wouldn't be able to look in his eyes. The disappointment would crush him.
He always felt like John loved Sammy more. He was more forgiving for him and always gave him whatever he wanted. When Dean had to stay with John and help him with his business, Sammy could just go to college. They even go back to their hometown, because Sammy didn't like the new city. It's not like Dean was jealous of his brother, he loved him too much. It was more the thought that John didn't love him enough to let him do what he wanted. That maybe John felt like Dean wasn't a good son, one that wouldn't make him proud, like Sam.
Dean was always insecure of his value, that's why when someone choose him over others, he placed them under the 'ideal' label, on a fucking pedestal, and when they done something wrong, make a choice that wasn't perfect, he felt betrayed. He felt like it was his fault. Everything that happened recently just made him think that maybe this is true. He would never be someone's first choice, and even when he will that person would just back away after realising who he really is. Because everything he touches, everything he cares for, he breaks.
And now the drinking. It always ends like this. Something goes off and the first thing he does is buying alcohol and making himself forget. It's like a toxic circle. Drinking to forget, drinking to feel something and the drinking to forget again. And Sam had to see this nearly every day. What an awesome older brother he is. Really a one you can look up to. In that moment, a car parked before him. It was Sam. Dean could see his tired face, and guilt washed over him. He got up from the ground and walked towards the car. He will have to ride shotgun. It's not like he would be able to drive a car, even If he sobered a little.
Heavy silence fell between brothers, and Sam just didn't knew what to do anymore. Nothing he could say would help Dean, his brother just didn't listen. His heart broke when he saw what Dean was doing to himself. He don't want to lose his brother because of Lisa, because without him he would never be who he is. He was always there for him, always ready to help. And now Sam couldn't repay with the same thing, because he didn't know how.
Dean was looking through the window, his thoughts overwhelming him. He didn't want to open before Sam, hiding those feelings was easier. Just hide them somewhere deep, deep down and forget about them. That way you won't throw that weight on others shoulders. Especially the ones you love.
Getting to Barker Avenue 1925 took them an hour, so when they get there it was half past two am. They got out from the car and got in the house turning on the lights in the anteroom. Sam took off his shoes, throwing the car keys on the cupboard standing against the wall. Dean too took his shoes and jacket off and walked past Sam.
- Dean, you can't live like this any longer. I understand, that Lisa actions wounded you unbelievably hard, but this is not a solution, Dean! - Stammered Sam, his voice thick witch emotions, his eyes focused on Dean. - Talk to me, please.
- No, Sam. We don't have anything to talk about. - Responded Dean, while looking away from his brother.
- Dean - Mumbled younger of Winchesters, his face full of worry.
- No! - Without waiting for a response, he walked up the stairs and got in his room. He fell down on bed. He just wanted to forget about everything that is happening around him now.
In the meantime, Sam went to the kitchen and made himself some tea. It was Saturday, and that meant that there was no job to do. Going to bed would be useless, he wouldn't be able to fall asleep anyway.
While standing by the counter with a hot cup of tea, memorises of Dean from a year before flashed in front of his eyes. He was so fucking happy, so full of hope. Even Sam felt at ease, seeing his brother so peaceful. Now Dean acts like an empty shell of himself, and it pains him greatly. But something in his mind is telling him, that Lisa was the final blow which just broke the wall Dean put around himself. He was scared to think that some of his actions helped with that actually. Those thoughts were devastating.
Sam really wished that his mother was alive. She would know what to do, how to help him. Even dad would be able to help. Sammy hated times like this, when he can't do anything, when he feel so helpless and hopeless.
Dean was lying on the bed, his eyes roaming freely around the room. Sleep just wasn't coming, even if he felt impossibly tired. The possibility that he will love again isn't that low, rather the possibility that someone will love him back is lower.
Dean loved his fare share of people, every one of them was important to him. He had his first crush at the age of ten years in a girl whose name was Amelia. It was a short thing, but he had his first kiss with her. Then came David. Both of them were fourteen, and that time it lasted for five months. Days with him were full of happiness and acceptance, always bringing joy, and Dean thought that maybe by some miracle they will stay together. However David parents heard about their relationship, and he felt like a deer caught in the headlights, and ended things between them. David broke his perception of world, but in a good way. even if his choice stung a little. After him there were many people, but he didn't love any of them with the same strength. Until he met Lisa. And it ended badly.
He even don't have the will to hope for someone who will be entirely his. But, he remembers how his mother always said that angels are looking over him. So he sends a silent prayer to them, to maybe give him someone like that, who will love him unconditionally. Feeling silly, Dean turns on his right side and tries again to fall asleep. This time it works. But because of that he don't see that little flash of light beside his bed, that is nearly invisible, and don't hear a quiet voice saying a few words in unrecognisable language.
Sometimes they feel the need to interfere, to help the humans under their charge. And that was one of those times. They are called many names, and you could say that every one of them is true. They are guardians, angels, familiars casted upon the earth to help humans with their life, but only when they believe in them. Even if for a minute, a second, it's enough. And Deans guardian was happy, that his human believed in him for that split second, because he got his chance to help him. Now he hoped that Winchester will realise that he too can be happy, and that he won't hold back when the time comes and he meets that person.
The angel encouraged a few people to do some things faster, to make sure that Dean will meet his soul mate in the near future. He done what he could, now he can only observe how it will unfold. It's going to be a hard and long ride.
Los Angeles, California
Gabriel woke up at 1 am for the third time this week, his eyes immediately landing on a photo frame, with Sam smiling face staring at him back. Due big windows and the moonlight that shone through them Gabe could walk to the bathroom without turning any lights on. He stopped in front of a mirror and looked at his face. Tiredness was written all over it, but essentially he didn't felt tired, more like weary of waking up in the middle of the night again. He didn't knew why that kept happening, but even pills and doing boring things didn't help. If he was at home his mother would try to feed him some herbal teas, which were really gross. Being hundredths of kilometres away from his family was sometimes really helpful. Or more likely always.
Gabriel was the second from the youngest sibling, which was Castiel, and he had five older ones, two sisters and three brothers. He was on the best terms with Hester, Balthazar and Castiel, the rest of his siblings being the perfect ones and never having their own mind. Well, without Lucifer, who was constantly trying to win their family company from Michaels hands, and get his father trust back, after the incident with Anael. It was still a topic they rarely picked up on family meetings, or just when they talked. Those were dark times in their family, but right now it's better. Maybe not for Gabriel and his contact with his siblings, but it's better.
With a cloudy mind he went to the kitchen and turned the kettle on, after pouring water into it. Sleep was an impossible thing after waking up, and coffee was the drink of gods. He will survive to the morning, and then he will go to Castiel place and spend the night there. It was a blessing his brother lived in LA just a few streets away from him, because if he wasn't Gabriel would really miss his family. Thanks to Castiel, he knows what's happening at home without awkward talks with his father or even more awkward talks with his mother.
The kettle turned off and Gabriel poured the hot water into the cup, the smell of coffee surrounding him. It always relaxed him. He sat on the couch that was placed beside the window and opposite kitchen and turned on the television. There was nothing interesting on, but Gabriel settled on some cheap horror movie.
While the actors where trying so hard to make something of that bad plot, his thoughts went to Sam, and suddenly an idea came to him. He didn't saw Sam for over six months and he missed him greatly. It would be so easy to just ride there and meet with him, considering Gabe didn't have any job that needed him here, he could take care of his clubs over mails to his employers. It's not like it would be the first time. And maybe he could make Castiel go with him? Some brother time would be appreciated, and If he went with him he would meet new people that weren't false like china porcelain bought in polish china marketplace.
With a newly found strength Gabe got on his laptop and turned it on. Some messages popped up on the screen, but he ignored them and started writing new one, addressed to Sam.
To:
From: Hi bby ;d Yea, I know I wrote like six hours ago, but! A fantastic idea got me, and I had to write to you right now ;p we didn't see each other for soooooo long, so you maybe could take a week off? I could go to Lawrence and stay there for some time ;) I could ask cas too, and we could make him loose up a little and maybe your brother would interest him enough that we will get some sexy time ;d;d hope yull write to me when you will wake up sweet pie ;p love you sammy!
He clicked send and with a smile walked to his room. It was already three am and the need to irritate his little brother made its appearance. Gabriel picked up his phone and chosen Castiel number. It took four signals for him to pick up, and a big smile sprouted on Gabe face when he heard his brother irritated voice.
Their conversation didn't take long, but Castiel said that he will get here after he will eat something, so Gabriel put on some jeans and t-shirt and drank the rest of his coffee. It would be a tedious job to make Castiel agree on the trip to Kansas, considering that he was working in their family company, like the rest of their siblings. Gabe sometimes felt like that black sheep, even with Lucifer on the horizon, because he never wanted to work there. His dream was to have a network of night clubs, and he did it.
His front door opened and Castiel walked into the living room. Gabriel was amazed by the look of his brother, who like always looked like he was just on a business meeting.
- Cassie, don't you have any other clothes in your wardrobe? I feel like you never change what you're wearing. - In response he got only the rolling of eyes and Cas sat beside him.
- Will you tell me now, why did you call me at this hour?
- Well, baby brother, I got an fantastic idea. - Gabe looked at Castiel, and grinned. - You didn't have a time off for a long time, and if everything will go as according to plan, we could go to Kansas.
- No. – It was a short response, and you could think that it didn't left a room for discussion.
- Cassie, don't be like that! I want you to get to know Sammy, and how I'm supposed to do that, when you don't want to go with me to Lawrence? – He put on a pouty face, but as always it didn't had an effect on his brother.
- Then why don't he fly here?
- Because he need to stay there, you know that he is a lawyer, any moment a client could call him and he needs to be close.
- I have job too Gabriel. Maybe you don't work with us, but I thought that you knew that It's really hard there lately. – A notification sound suddenly appeared and Castiel took his phone out of the pocket in his pants. – Father sent me a message.
- What does it says?
- He got a call from one of our contributors. He called family meeting, and I need to get there as fast as I can. – As he said that he got up from the couch.
- You don't need to go there Cas! Did you forget that ALL of our family works there? Lucifer would be delighted to take that case! – Gabriel felt that the chance of Cas going with him to Lawrence is disappearing dramatically fast.
- Gabe, I have too. I'm not like you, I can't just not go. – Castiels voice was small and wavy.
- You can Cas, it's not like they would do something to you. A message to father would be enough, I think that he would be even happy that you took some time for yourself. – Hope returned to Gabe.
- Not now Gabriel. There is too much work going around. – Castiel was breaking, and Gabriel hoped that Sam will be able to take a week off.
- They will take care of it. A week Cassie, that's all I'm asking.
- I will ask father later. No I will go home and call my colleagues. – Castiel walked out with a little wave.
Gabriel felt like Christmas came earlier. It was nearly impossible to make Castiel get out of work, but when it happened they usually went with full force and do so many things together. Now the only thing left was Sam response.
He got it three hours later. He heard the nitification bing coming from his laptop and went there immidietly. Gabe opened the message end went through the contents.
To: From: Hi Gabe, You have luck, because I just closed next case, and I have some free time. Beside the paperwork of course. It would be awesome If Castiel could come too, Dean Is having some problems, so maybe meeting a new person would help him. Lisa cheated on him, and It;s pretty bad. Your presence would be really helpful. You could come somewhere next week, If you are free then. Love you too Gabe :)
Gabriel felt like dancing from happiness. It was such a good news, and it was so awesome. Everything was going according to plan, and It felt slightly surreal. well, he wouldn't ask, when everything is great. He wrote a quick response and closed his laptop. It wil be a great week.
Lawrence, Kansas.
Sam smiled to himself as he read Gabriels response. He didn't have to see his face, to feel his happiness. He missed his lover dearly, and It was like a dream come true to finally see him again. And it was even better, that Cas will come too. Dean would really use some new people in his surroundings, that aren't guys from bar. Maybe it will help him cope with his loss. Beside, Castiel was a great person, even with his quirks. Sam wanted to know him better, because hopefully they will be family in the near future. that was one of his dreams, tha he really cherished.
With a heavy sight he got up from the couch and walked to kichen. He had to make some breakfast, because if he won't Dean won't eat anything again. He decided to make some pancakes and coffee. Maybe today Dean would stay at home. Or he will byrst through the door, when he will hear the news. Sam considered not telling Dean about Gabe and Cas coming here, but it was better to just tell him and cope with his bitching. It would go away before their gets here.
A loud thud reached his ears, coming from upstairs. Apparently Dean woke up, and was making his way here. Sam was right, and after a few seconds his brother came trought the doors, with a sleeppy face.
- Hi Sammy. - Dean sat on the chair and looked at the pancakes. It didn't take long before he started eating.
- Hi Dean. How are you today? - Sam looked at him with a small smile on his lips and sat opposite him and started eating too.
- Better. Something happened? - He asked, seeing the grin on his face.
- Yeah, but I don't know If I will tell you. - Dean threw a bit of pancake at Sam and laughed slightly.
- C'mon, tell me.
- Okey. But don't be mad at me. Gabe asked if he can come here for a week with his brother, and I said yes. - Sam said fastly, staring at Deans face all the time. Nothing changed in it, and Sam felt like a heavy weight was lifted off his shoulders.
- Well, It's good that he is coming. I couldn't take your bitching about missing him all the freaking time. - Dean grinned and continued eating. It was good that Sam will meet with Gabe again. And he will tolerate him, even when Gabe makes his live a living hell when they see each other, and maybe his brother won't be as bad as Gabriel. then his live will take a really wrong turn.
It was a good day, today. They could even forget about all of those stuff that was going around them. It was good time.
I hoped you liked it. If you did, please post a review :D
