Authors Note: Everyone, I would like to thank you all for waiting, I took the time while I was editing to first Chapter of Magnets, to send this Fic, to some friends, I also sent them Magnets when I was done editing it,and they told me to go with this Fic. Now personally I am way more passionate about this Fic, then I am with Magnets, so I have just decided to go with this one. Plus reviews from the other story said to go with this story In my opinion, is probably going to be around 30, to 40 chapters, maybe even 50. Im going to stretch out this story and make it very long, and filled with tons of action, lots of emotions, you will cry sometimes, maybe even get mad when theres a cliff hanger. I would like to remind you that this story is taking place in a Mental institution, there will be some triggers in this story, a lot actually,alot of disturbing things, like rape, drugs,abuse, and alot more. In this Fic, you will read some things about Tegan, what Sara sees the nurses doing to her, and there is a shocker, but its at the end. I have already revealed too much, so Im just going to present you with the first Chapter. Tegan will make her gran entrance, don't worry, so for now, just READ, REVIEW & ENJOY :D

*I always listen to music when I write, so Im going to let you know what song I listened to while writing, (Shifting- Now,Now) Review & tell me what you think of the first Chapter (:

Chapter 1: Bryan

Im on my way to this job interview I have at 2:30. I never exactly wanted to be a Psychiatric nurse, but I always helped out my brother, and grew to find it very interesting, it made me want to help people who were mentally ill. When I was a kid, I watched as my brother would go crazy, have fits for no reason, leave in the middle of the night, sometimes even hurt himself. When I was 12 my mum and dad had finally realized that my brother was sick. He was only 14 when he was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. Apparently, he was still to young to be put into a hospital, so we took care of him at our house. I would wake up everynight and check on my brother, sometimes he would be missing, and I would find him downstairs in the basement, sitting in the corner, or he would be outside on the swings my parents built us. I would bring him back to my room and he would sleep next to me, I would hold him all night and cry. As I grew up he got worse, by the age of 18, my parents sent him to a Mental Ward, all the way in California, it was the best one. Since then, I've seen my brother twice a year, on his Birthday, and on Thanksgiving. When I graduated higschool, I realized that thats what I wanted to do, I wanted to help people like him, so I went to school, got my Degree and now here I am. My names Sara and im 24 years old. I moved here to Vancouver, British Columbia when I was 20, I've been working at a fashion store, pushing my way through school. Now that I finally graduated, they helped me set up that job interview I told you about.

I look around my tiny apartment, to see if Im missing anything. I search my purse and realize I have everything, I put my purse on my shoulder and turn around, looking at myself in the long body length mirror. I'm wearing some black straight legs, a pair of black flats, a white-shirt and my green Peacoat. I smile as I find that my outfit was very proffessional looking. I walk out of my room and head out to the front door, I grab my keys from the hook and open my front door, stepping out into my apartment building hallway and locking up my door.

"Hey Sara."

I turn around and see my next door neighbor Ben, he smiles at me and I smile back.

"You look beautiful today."

I turn around and he looks me up and down.

"Really beautiful."

I smile and drop my head, blushing. When I moved here, Ben was the typical guy who asked "Need help with those boxes?", then proceeded to flirt with me while we brang all the stuff into my apartment. Since that day, hes asked me out about, well actually he asks me out every once a week.

I finish locking up my door and stand next to him, we walk down the hall together in complete silence, when we get to the elevator, he presses the button and turns to me.

"So, when are you going to let me take you out Sara, just one night, I promise."

I laugh and look at him, he was a good looking guy, but just seemed off. He was around 5'9,clean cut, wore suits all the time, dark brown hair, he kinda looked like Ryan Gosling, which blew me away, as to why he wanted me.

"Ben, I already told you . . . I don't want to date right now."

He sighs, the elevator doors open and we both walk in. He presses the bottom floor button and we ride down in more silence. When the elevator doors open, he lets me walk out first, then opens the door for me , that leads to the sidewalk.

"Sara, one day your gonna say yes, then fall madly in love with me."

He says, as he walks in the opposites direction as me, down the sidewalk. I laugh and he smiles, turning around. I face front and start walking down the street. It was snowing today, not hard, but the little flakes were slowly creating a blanket of snow on the roads. As I walk down the street, I smile at the people walking by me, the smell of coffee making its way out of the local coffee shops and out into the air, today seemed like a good day. The good thing about the Mental Ward I was applying to, was that it was only 5 blocks from my house, but just at the border of the city. Walking is something I love, its calming, especially if I get the job, Im going to be pretty stressed or tense. Mentally Ill patients are always very dangerous, because they can't control their personalities, actions, behavior, words, they have no control over their bodies most of the time. With my brother, I remember once, when I was 14, and he was 16, he came into my room, and tried to kill me. I had just checked on him about 30 minutes ago, then came back to my room and fell back asleep, but when I felt hands wrap around my neck, and my breathing stopped, my eyes flashed open and I seen my brother. I tried to pry his hands from my neck and kick him, trying my best to scream, but it wouldn't work, his grip got tighter, and my eyes started to blurr, when my body was starting to shut down, he just let go. It took me a while to get my breathing normal again, my brother just watched me, then when I looked up at him, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he collapsed on my bed. That night, I tucked him into my bed and I held him, I just stayed awake, crying all night. When my parents woke up that morning, they came into my room worried that he had left, but when they saw him with me, they were relieved. But that all went away when they saw his hand marks on my neck, the dark purple stains on my skin, they made me promise to lock my door every night, to not check up on him at night anymore, to just let them take care of it, but I couldn't, I kept my routine. He was my brother, I loved, and still love him, I had to take care of him.

I walk down the familiar street and look up from the sidewalk, the memory leaving my head. I smile when I see the huge brick building, the white paint fading and chipping off the blocks, it looked like an old Asylum. I look right Above the front doors and read the Name.

"Vancouver Mental Ward."

Memories of my brother in his ward come into my mind, him banging on the walls, his hands bloody from it, I close my eyes and shake the thoughts from my mind. This was to help people, not to watch them suffer.

I slowly put one foot in front of the other and walk up the stairs, when I get to the door, I open it and step inside the warm room. The door closes and I feel my body temperature start to rise already. I look in front of me and see a woman sitting at a desk, the I look around the room, posters of Diseases on the wall, pictures of, who Im assuming is Dr. Renolds, the Doctor here, and certificates with his name on them. I walk over to the girl at the desk and smile at her, she looks up to me and smiles nicely.

"Patients name?"

She asks me. I shake my head and look down to my hands, fiddling with them, Im nervous.

"Umm no, I actually have a job interview at 2:30?"

She nods and starts to type something in her computer. She makes an amused face at her computer screen, then turns to me.

"Sara Johnson?"

I nod my head and she smiles

"Oh okay, well follow me."

I watch her get up from her seat and she walks over to a door, opening it up and waiting for me. I smile and make my way over to her, letting her go first. As I follow her, I look at the long narrow hallway, one nurse passing me by. She was wearing scrubs, with little tweety birds on them.

"Your the only person who applied for this job you know?"

I look up at the woman and she has her head turned to the side to me, waiting for me to reply.

"I am?"

She nods and turns her head back around, turning the corner. I keep following her and smile, that means most likely I would get the job. She turns to me and stops in front of a door. I look at her and she knocks on it lightly, then twists the doorknob. She opens the door and peeps her head in. I stand there and wait, looking at the ground. She takes her head out of the room and opens the door for me, I smile and walk in, entering the white room.

Every room is fucking white

I look at the desk and see the Doctors chair turned to me, he was on the phone. I sit down on the chair in front of his desk and place my purse on my lap. After 2 minutes, he hangs up the phone, the room suddenly silent without his low mumbles. He turns around and I look at him. He was a chubby man, looked to be in his 60's, white hair already, glasses and a white coat on over his blue button up. He smiles at me and I smile back at him.

"Im Doctor Renolds, Im the head of the Psychiatric Ward."

"Sara Johnson."

He nods his head and pulls out a folder, opening it up on his desk and looking through papers.

"Well, I read your letter of Recomendation from Doctor Andrews, and might I say, he had a lot of nice things to say about you."

He looks up to me and smiles, I smile back and he keeps his eye on the paper.

"Yea, hes the one who helped me get this interview, he helped me alot too, I graduated early because of him."

He nods hid head, sets the paper down on the desk and smiles.

"He is a great Dr, I talked to him and he said you were ahead of everything, you are very passionate about helping other Mentally Ill people."

"Yea, I am, very."

"So tell me, why would you want to work here, in a Pyschiatric Ward, because there are times where people have no clue what they're getting themselves into, and wind up quiting."

I remember my brother, the conversation we had before he left, he wasn't on his pills, he wasn't having a fit, he was normal for 30 minutes, and we talked, his smile was weak and his body wasn't trembling for once.

"No I understand completely, I can handle it. My brother Bryan . . . has Schizophrenia. I have seen him at his worst, and it wasn't something I was afraid of . . . I just want to help people like him, even if its with other Mental Illnesses."

He nods, sighs,then looks down. He freezes for a couple of seconds, then looks up at me.

"Well Im sorry about that, is he stabel?"

"Yea, when he was 18, my parents sent him to a Mental Ward in California."

He nods and smiles weakly at me.

"Well Im glad he has help now, and Im glad you want to help."

I nod my head and mentally smile to myself, Bryan, I missed him.

"Ms. Johnson, you are aware that this job is dangerous, many midnight outbursts, lots of sedating, Patients will fight back."

"Yea, I had that alot of the times with my brother, but I wiggled my way through it, I would talk to him, calm him, then find a way to trick him into taking his medicine or eating."

He smiles and nods his head.

"Good, well, I like that your using your past experiences with this then, I think your perfect for this job."

I smile and feel my body relax, I was nervous that I wouldn't. I look to his desk as he writes something down on a paper.

"Now your going to need a pair of scrubs and some comfortable shoes, are you able to work night shifts too?"

"Well, I was hoping that you could schedule me for everyday, but if not, I can do any time."

He nods and keeps writing.

"Okay, Im gonna have you start tomorrow, If you can't buy your scrubs, then just let me know, we have extras here, and bring your lunch tomorrow too, your going to start at 8:30 in the morning and clock out at 5, is that okay with you?"

"Sure, I'll buy my scrubs on my way home today."

He smiles and looks at his computer. He types away and smiles at his computer screen, then turns to me.

"When we got your criminal backround check, I was shocked, I thought it checked off the box for 1st Degree murder, but then when I double checked, it checked no."

He laughs and keeps typing.

"Yea, I would be in prison, haha but I want to help people, not hurt them."

He smiles and I hear the printer start to run.

"Your name tag, and other things will be presented to you tomorrow, just remember your scrubs, your shoes,preferably white, and your lunch."

I nod my head, making a mental note to buy all that and he hands me a paper.

"Thats for you to bring tomorrow, give it to the front desk and she'll take you and get all your things."

I smile and stand up out of my chair, he stands up and walks around his desk, opening up the door for me.

"Well, I hope you like it here Sara, and welcome to our staff."

I smile and walk out of the room. I look down to my paper and look at the writing, I didn't know they had a seperate ward for children? I shrug it away and keep walking down the long narrow hall. I look at the Ward Im checked onto, the Womans Ward. I nod and keep scanning the print. When I get to the door, I open it and step out into the lobby. I put my paper in my purse and walk up to the front desk, looking at the woman.

"Did you get it?'

She asks me, I smile at her and nod.

"Yea, I start tomorrow."

She smiles and stand up, she walks around her desk and stands next to me. I start to walk and she walks, when we get to the door, she opens it for me and I smile at her.

"Thank you."

"No problem, My names Amanda, welcome to the staff."

I walk down the stairs and turn back around, I found a job. I smile bigger and reach into my back pocket, grabbing my cell phone. I look up and cross the street, first looking both ways then walking. When Im safetly on the sidewalk, I start to dial a familiar number. I place the phone to my ear, and keep walking.

"Hello?'

"Mum, I got it!"

"Got what dear?"

I laugh at how my mum forgets everything, you can tell her something, and ten minutes later, she'll forget it. I get into the live town again and the smell of coffee hits me again. I turn to my right and smile when I see a local coffee shop I love to come to. I walk inside and stand in line.

"The job mum, at the Mental Ward."

"Ohh hunny thats great! When do you start?"

The line moves up and I hold the phone with my shoulder, reaching into my purse and getting out my wallet, preparing myself to pay.

"Tomorrow, I have to buy my uniform today and everything, I go in at 8:30."

"Thats great hunny, were so proud of you . . . I know Bryan would be too."

I smile at the mention of my brothers name. The day he left, when we had that talk, he told me he was proud of me, that I took care of him, that I wanted to take care of people like him, that I he loved me and always would. Last time I saw him, I was about to Graduate from school, and he told me he was proud of me too, then had a breakdown. He hit all the nurses and kept screaming that he wanted to come home with me, he wanted to be with his sister. It made me cry to see that, but they made me leave, and that was the last time I saw him.

The line moves up and its my turn at the register. I smile at the guy and he smiles back.

"Mum hold on real quick, Sorry can I get a Coffee, black."

The boy nods and I hand him my money.

"Well hunny, me and your father were setting up some things outside, we just bought a couple new bird houses, were gonna hang them on the tree, so I'll call you tomorrow okay?"

The boy hands me my change and smiles at me big. He grabs a pen and my cup, ready to write my name.

"Your name miss?"

"Sara."

He smiles and writes it down. I turn around and look at the seats, I walk over to a stool and sit down on it, waiting for my coffee.

"Okay mum, be careful you and dad, I don't want you two falling off the ladders."

"Aren't I your mother, Im supposed to tell you things like that, but we will. Love you bye."

"Love you too, Bye."

I laugh and hand up my phone, tossing it into my purse. I look around and take in the sweet scent. It smelled like sweet cinnamon and vanilla, with the caramel and coffee, washing into it, it was so relaxing. I close my eyes and feel my body start to slowly ease.

"Sara?"

I open my eyes and look over to the cashier, he smiles at me, nodding that my drink was ready. I nod and stand up, walking over to the counter. I reach for the drink and he lifts his hand, so when I grab it, his hand overlaps mines. I smile awkwardly and pull the cup away.

"Thank you."

I turn on my heals and start to walk to the door. I look down at my coffee and smile, the steam rising from the little sip hole. I lift it up and stop when I see something else, besides my name, written on my cup.

Your so Beautiful -Ryan

My mouth drops and I can't help but chuckle. I turn back around, and look at him. He looks away from the girl he was serving and smiles at me, biting his bottom lip. I smile at him and shake my head, he winks at me and I turn around. That was chessey, but kind of cute I guess? I keep smiling as I walk out of the cafe and out onto the busy sidewalk. I take a sip of my coffee and feel the hot liquid run down my throat, warming up my body. I look across the street and see a store, then I remember my scrubs and shoes. I look to my left and remember a place where I bought my scrubs for school. I make my way down the slippery sidewalk and look up to the store. I turn into it and walk inside. I know this store already, I know where the scrubs are, they even have shoes here. I make my way past all the clothes racks, and stop at the back of the store. I make my way over to the rack that carries all the scrubs. I keep my coffee close to me and take little sips, looking through the scrubs.

They all had little characters on them, that was something I didn't like, I just wanted plain scrubs. I look to the other side of the rack and realise that the solid color ones are on that side. I walk over to it and smile, finding all the solids. I look at the sizes and go to my section, small. I look through the colors and decide to get 4 white, and 4 olive green.

I look them over and smile, they were all small,and all cute. I place them on my arm and turn around, walking to the shoe section. I look at the racks, they had converse, sketchers, old lady shoes and vans. I smile when I see the white slip on vans, vans were always a comfortable shoe on me. I look around and spot a girl that works here, walking into the fitting room.

"Excuse me?"

She turns to me and I smile at her.

"I was wondering if you have these in a size 7?"

She looks at the shoe and nods. She walks away and I sit down on the little bench. I take a sip of my coffee and wait. After 5 minutes, the girl returns with a box in her hands.

"Here you are, if you need anything else, I'll be in the fitting room."

I nod and take the box from her, setting my scrubs and coffee down. I pull off my shoe and open the box, reaching in and grabbing the white shoe. I slip it onto my foot and smile, so comfortable. I don't hesitate, I take the shoe off and toss it back into the box, putting my flat back on. I stand up and turn around, grabbing my scrubs, coffee and shoe box. Suddenly someone grabs the shoe box from me and I look up at them.

"Need help?"

I smile at Ben and he chuckles, grabbing the scrubs from my arm. I laugh and he starts to walk away with my things.

"What are you doing here?"

I ask him, he turns his head to the side and lifts up his hand, motioning to the bag from this store.

"I needed a new shirt, and when I was leaving I seen you struggling with everything."

I laugh and he sets all my things on the counter. I look at him and he smiles at me. A girl walks up to the register and smiles.

"Will this be all?"

I nod my headn and reach into my purse, pulling out my wallet.

"That'll be $99.65."

I pull out a hundred and hand it to her, putting my wallet away. I turn to Ben and he smiles big.

"You got the job?"

I nod my head and he nudges me.

"Good job, you should let me take you out to dinner Saturday, to celebrate."

He wiggles his eyesbrows and I laugh.

"Here you go."

I look at the girl and shes holding out my change, I reach for it and take it, tossing the loose chang into my purse. She hands me the 2 bags and I take them.

"Ben . . ."

I start to walk away and he grabs my bags for me.

"Come on Sara, just once I promise! You will never have to go out with me again . . . If you don't want to, please."

I open the store door and smile, he really wanted to go out with me, he always begged. I turn to him as we walk and smile at him.

"Maybe."

He smiles big and shakes his head.

"Maybe means yes."

I laugh and take a sip of my coffee. I shake my head and look at him, he was sweet and kind, maybe I should just stop being such a tease and say what he wants to hear?

"Haha Fine, yes."

I turn to him and see no one, I look back and see him standing in the middle of the sidewalk, his mouth open in a big smile, his arms and legs stiff. I laugh and he walks to me and smiles even bigger.

"I told you one day you would say yes, so this saturday?"

I laugh and bite my lip, looking up at him.

"Yea, this saturday."

He nods and I shake my head. We walk down the last block in silence, and when we get to our apartment building, he walks me up to my apartment. I reach into my purse and search around for my keys, looking around the pile of mail I have in my purse, moving around the vitamins I carry, swooshing away all the loose change, and find my keys at the bottom. I look at him and sigh.

"Sorry, I need to clean out my purse."

He giggles and I place my key in the door, unlocking it and opening it. I walk into my apartment and Ben follows. I close the door and take off my coat.

"Where do you want me to put all this?"

He looks at me and I look around.

"In my room?"

He nods and disappears down the hall. I smile and think about it, he must be happy I finally said yes, 4 years and I finally said yes. I chuckle and walk into my kitchen, my tiny small kitchen. I open the fridge and pull out 2 beers, knowing Ben will want one. I hear his footsteps down the hall and suddenly see him in the doorway of my kitchen.

"Beer?"

He nods and grabs the beer from my hand, cracking it open with his teeth. I drop my jaw and he takes a sip, looking at me.

"What?"

I laugh and look at my beer cap, the hard metal looking cap.

"Didn't that hurt you?"

He shakes his head and walks up to me, he moves in close to me, our bodies barley touching. He reaches his hand up to my beer bottle and overlaps my hand with his, I feel my body shutter and he leans down, taking the cap in his mouth and pulling it off. He smiles and holds out his tongue, the bottle cap laying perfectly on it. I smile and he smiles, taking the cap from his mouth and placing it on the counter.

"See."

He smiles bigger and I blush, placing my hands on his chest, pushing him back gently.

"Ben . . ."

He smiles and pulls me in closer, leaning down and placing his lips on mines. I feel my body shutter and his hands wrap around my body. My body melts when he pushes his tongue inside my mouth, I let out a tiny gasp and feel him smile into the kiss. I smile and pull away from him. His lips were not exactly the softest, but they were enjoyable. He unwraps one arm from my waist and brings it up to my face, gently pushing back my bangs. I smile and he smiles back.

"Im gonna go . . . I'll see you later?"

I nod my head and he leans back down, only this time placing a kiss on my cheek. He pulls away from me, and I stay in the same spot, watching him walk out of my kitchen. I look down and hear my front door close, I smile and shake my head.

"Wow."

That was the first sexual contact I have had in 2 years. After my Ex Boyfriend Drew broke up with me, I just layed off of the whole dating, or guy thing in general, but it felt good to kiss someone again, it felt good to feel lips on mines, oh boy did it feel good. I laugh and grab my beer from the counter, walking out of my kitchen and into my bedroom. I look at my bed and see my scrubs laying out on my bed, on top of eachother, my shoes next to them, the bags bundled up.

I laugh and grab the hangers, lifting up the scrubs and walking them over to my closet. I hang them up and walk back, grabbing my shoes and placing them in my shoe rack behind my closet door. I close my door and look at my nightstand, its was barley 6:30. I look around my room, I didn't have to clean, there was nothing for me to do, accept for relax. I walk to the edge of my bed and grab the hem of my shirt, pulling it over my head, and dropping it to the floor. I unzip my pants and push them down my legs, kicking them off my ankles and onto the floor. I reach around my back and unclasp my bra, letting it fall to the pile of clothes. I smile and look at my bed, it was so inviting, I jump on it and snuggle into my sheets and blankets, smelling my perfume on them. I sigh and pull the blankets over my body. turning on my back and grabbing the remote from my sheets. I turn on my TV and feel my body melt into the bed, becoming to comfortable. I flip through the chanels and squeel when I see my favourite movie on, Pretty in Pink. I lay there and watch the movie, making me sleepier by the minute. By the time the movies over, its 8:30. I look around my room, only the light shining from the TV Making everything at least noticable. There was still nothing to do, I turn to my nighstand and reach to my clock, setting the alarm. My stomach growls and I laugh, I forgot to eat. I turn on my lamp and toss the covers off my body, letting the cold air in my apartment hit me. I start to shiver and walk to my door, I grab my robe and put in on, snuggling into the fluffyness. I walk out of my room and down the hall into the kitchen. I open my fridge and look at everything in it, I was to Lazy to cook, and there was left over Pizza. I take out the tinfoil and grab a plate, placing the two slices of Cheese Pizza on it and popping it into the microwave. I open my fridge again and grab a beer, I look at it and laugh. How could Ben bite it off without cracking his teeth? I shrug it off and grab my bottle opener, tossing away the cap and taking a sip. The stail liquid runs down my throat and I feel my body ease. The microwave timer goes off, I grab my plate and make my way over to the living room, sitting down on my couch. I again, turn on my TV and flip through the chanels again, I sigh and settle on the news. I reach to my plate and pick up a slice, the cheese stringing, connecting the two slices together still. I take a bite and feel my stomach growl in approval. I laugh and continue to eat my food and drink my beer. I finish my two slices and stay on the couch, trying to finish my drink, My eyes start to get droopy and my body becomes drowzy. I get up from my couch and turn off all the lights and lock my door, then walk back to my bedroom. I toss my robe to the side and climb back into my bed, wrapping my body up in my blankets and closing my eyes.