30 Things Emmet is NOT

at a Doctor's Office

*Author's Note*: ALL IDEAS, THOUGHTS, ACTIONS, CHARATERS, BOOK REFRENCES, BOOKS, PLACES, AND MAIN EVENTS BELONG TO STEPHANIE MEYER. PLEASE RELIZE THIS AND DO NOT SUE ME! PLEASE AND THANK YOU! Also PLEASE relize that I JUST USE THEM FOR MY OWN AND YOUR ENTERTAINMENT TO VOICE MY OWN IMAGINATION THAT HAS RUN WILD WITH ALL OF THESE THINGS AND SOMETIMES PUT THE CHARATERS IN SOME WIERD, WACKY, AND DIFFICULT SITUATIONS SOMETIMES...! PLEASE AND THANK YOU!

OK...now that that is through with...I will finally let you read the story...All R&R will be politely and very much greatly appericiated!

30 Things Emmet is NOT

at a Doctor's Office

1: Challenge the front desk clerk to a staring contest then stare into the eyes of the front desk clerk until she falls over backwards or faints because she cannot hold back blinking anylonger just because Emmet wanted to try to dazzle people.

2: Sneak into the back room and shred all medical records with the shredder that is located in there; just because he wants to see confeddi "pretend fall" from the ceiling.

3: Sneak into the lavatory just to watch the germs under the microscope "do a funny dance".

4: Or break the expensive scientific microscopes just because he wanted to "dance" with the germs under the microscope.

5: Or sneak in because he wants to play and watch the "pretty chemicals".

6: Or mix any of the "pretty chemicals" he is watching or playing with.

7: Or blow up things along with the "pretty chemicals" while he is mixing up those special chemicals he is watching or "observing" or playing with.

8: Take the thermometer out of Bella's mouth and stick it on Edward's skin and when the doctor comes back tell him/her that they did a good job taking Bella's temperture.

9: Or stick it in Edward's Mouth and take the temperture of a cool mouth.

10: Or in Edwards ear and take its temperture.

11: Or in Edward's pants and take the that temperture down there either.

12: While in the waiting area, Emmet is not allowed to leave his chair and go scare the little kids with with his big shiny vampire teeth.

13: Or scare the kids by telling them what Edward ate for breakfest this moring.

14: Or scare them by telling them about Emmet's and Rose's sex scenes in the bedroom the night before.

15: Or scare them by telling them how Rosalie's but looks when them 2 are alone.

16: Or scare them by telling them ANY kind of sex jpke possible.

17: While in the waiting room, Emmet is not allowed to yell out any type of medical term that makes the room go into an awkward silence. Like: Weenis, or Angina.

18: Emmet is not allowed to yell out that Edward and Bella are the last two adults on the planet to stay pure until thier marrige is finalized, while in the waiting room, either.

19: Jumping up and down on the scale while the doctor is trying to take Bellas wieght down on his piece of paper.

20: Start asking Bella's doctor inappropiate questions when he is trying to give Bella a normal check up.

21: Do a stand up live comedy with an audience of only the waiting room.

22: Run into the surgery room, during surgery, saying "I know how to do this" and pushing people out of the way and then proceed to try to do surgery while telling them about Bella's almost encounter with death when Bella gave birth to Renessme.

23: Or tell them about how Edward has been to medical school 3 times.

24: Or after telling them about Edward's going to medical school 3 times and then telling them he has no idea what hes doing because he never went to medical school and then finally them to page Edward quick and get back into the surgery area because he has absolutely no idea what he is doing and theres been a problem in the aoreta.

25: Running into a patients room that is waiting to hear about test results for strep throat and telling them that they actually have throat cancer and are going to die in 3 days.

26: Take the stethoscope from around the doctors neck and checking the doctor's heart rate and seeing if his breathing sounds are ok or not.

27: Or take the knee knocker and try to test Bella's knees for him.

28: Or take the ear examination tool from the doctors pocket and try to find a bug in Edward's ear with it.

29: Take the chair in the examination room and through it through the office's walls to see how strong they are and to see if they can put up with somthing hitting them repeatedly over and over.

30: Play the cotton ball guessing game. Where Emmet guesses how many cotton balls he can possibly stuff in Edward's ear,. and if he's right, well, he gets a free-of-charge prize of $100.