Disclaimer: I wrote it, but I didn't come up with the characters or locations. You should all know who really owns them, so don't bother me with the details.
Don't Hide From Me
I was sitting in the bedroom, listening to the shower running in the adjacent room. Riku was in there, probably lathering up his rock-hard body with that special key lime soap he uses. Anyways, I was sitting there listening intently to the shower, catching the slight changes in sound when Riku would move the shower head to different parts of his body. I knew the exact moment he started cleaning that 'special' place of his. Then, thanks be to God, he started jacking off. I heard the very first moan that left his lips. I heard the change in water pressure as he moved the shower head to a different location. As I was starting to get a hard-on myself, Axel barges into my bedroom and calls, quite loudly, "Yo, Riku! Come on, sweet stuff, we gotta date to keep"
Obviously, I am totally pissed off. But, does loud-mouth Axel care? NO! He looks at me with a smirk and lets his gaze travel down my body. When he sees my hard-on, I get embarrassed and it wilts immediately. And, of course, he laughs at me. Great, one more thing to be made fun of for. I glare at Axel, but before I get a word in edgewise, Riku steps out of the bathroom in a halo of steam with only a tiny white towel slung low around his waist. His eyes catch Axel first and a smile lights up his face.
"Hey, Ax. I didn't forget about our plans. As you can see, I was just getting ready." Riku gestures to his scantily clad body then to the shower. Then, Riku's beautiful eyes move to me. With one look, Riku has already reversed Axel's effect on me. My rock hard cock has sprung up again and there is nothing I can do now to hide it. I think that Riku notices, but he doesn't say anything. Not to me at least. "So, Ax...think I can change now."
Axel gets this smirk on his face that says, "Sure thing, hun, don't mind me while I stand here and watch," but he actually says, "Sure thing, sweet cheeks. I'll be waiting in the kitchen."
I don't bother getting up, because I know that Riku doesn't care if I am in the room or not. It seems that he doesn't think of me as a person and a gay man, but as an object...like his mirror. I turn to watch him as he lets that tiny towel slip from around his waist and fall to the floor. Riku's impressive cock is only semi-hard, and I have to wonder who exactly caused him to be in such a state. I figure it had to be Axel, because as far as Riku is concerned, I am not even here. Riku moves forward to his dresser and opens the third drawer from the top. He pulls out a cerulean sleeveless tee. He holds it up for me to see and silently asks what I think of it.
"Beautiful, like always. I don't know why you ask me. You have impeccable taste."
Riku looks at me with a frown on his face, "Don't you like helping me, Leon? It gives you an exscuse for seeing me nude all the time. Or would you rather I kick you out too and make you sit in the kitchen with Axel?"
"But...Riku! Why? Why the hell DO you let me stay here? Don't you care that I see every inch of you naked? Or do I mean so little to you?" I finally showed some of my true colors to Riku, and now I wait for his answer.
He looks dumbstruck, and I don't blame him. I did just drop something in his lap that he wasn't expecting. "Leon...I never knew that this arrangement bothered you. I always thought that you liked me, so I let you see me like this so that you would get something out of our relationship."
I exploded, "So, you were just taking PITY on me? I must not mean anything to you for you to so carelessly throw me a bone. I don't need your fucking pity, Riku! Yeah, I like you. Hell, I may even love you, but you're an ass! You knew I liked you, and you never said anything. You let me lok at your body, but don't bother to tell me you don't return my feelings. You keep seeing other men. You don't give a shit about me, and I am starting to think that you never did. You know what Riku?"
He looks a little pained, but answers me, "What, Leon?"
I look grim, but reply, "I am gone. From you house, from this town, from your life. I won't be used. I won't be pitied. You can kiss my ass...oh wait, why the fuck would you want to? I am just an object to you anyways, right?" I don't give him time to answer. I get up and I leave. I do exactly as I say. Poof, like the smoke that slithers out of the end of one of Cid's cigarrettes.
Later, Cloud told me what happened after I left. Riku fell to the floor with a thump and Axel went running to see what had happened. Riku was lying on the floor, on his side, with tear tracks running down his face. He was curled in on himself, with his arms wrapped around his knees and he was bawling. Axel said that he was mumbling incoherent things about me and misunderstanding, and that someone was an ass. Axel took it to mean that Riku misunderstood me, and I was an ass about it. He figured I probably hit Riku before I left, even though they couldn't find a mark on him. When Cloud told me all this, I defended myself. I told him that I would never hit Riku. Yeah, we had a disagreement, but I didn't touch him.
Cloud asked me why I left, so I told him. "I was in love with him, Cloud. Or rather, I am still in love with him. I confronted him about letting me be his mirror, and he told me the one thing that would make me leave. He told me that he was letting me do it out of pity. He was using my feelings for his personal gain. I got used and he got a talking mirror. He got flattery, without any commitment. He knew how I felt about him, and he kept on seeing other people, as is his right. But he never told me he knew, or that he didn't care."
"Are you sure he didn't care? Maybe he just couldn't tell you how he felt?"
I snorted, "Riku, not be articulate? You must be joking. He ALWAYS has something to say, and he never chokes on his words. He has never failed to tell people what he thought of them."
"I don't know what to tell you then, Leon. But if he started crying after you left, then something had to have been wrong. Riku doesn't cry. And YOU made him cry. I am just trying to put two and two together. And what I am getting is you misunderstood Riku's feelings, and he feels like an ass for letting you. I think you should go back to Destiny Islands and talk to him."
"NO! I told him I am out of his life, and that is where I am going to stay. If he really wants to change what I think, he can bring his ass here to Traverse Town to talk to me. And how will he know how to do that? You are going to tell him that when you go see him like I know you are going to. If he cares for me, then he will show me he does."
Cloud sighed and hung his head. "Leon, you are a hard man to please. If I were in your posistion, I would go running to Riku and make him care for me."
I laugh bitterly, "Yeah, right. Like you are doing with Sephiroth right now? Or even Vincent? I know you are in love with both of them, but you think that neither would ever love you back. You aren't even willing to give Vincent a chance, who has told you point black that he has the hots for you. See, it isn't as easy as you make it out to be. I won't be a puppy, always running back for attention, even after getting kicked. If Riku wants to make it up to me, then he will. Until then, I will try to move on."
Cloud looked disapointed in me, but at this point I didn't really care. I wanted my humilation and pain to go away. I wanted to forget about liking Riku, and forget that Riku didn't like me either. It was high time that I went away to be alone, and now I knew that going to Traverse Town wasn't enough. I had to go farther away, someplace where I couldn't bump into a familiar face. Somewhere where I could truly be alone.
"Cloud, I won't be here when you get back. I am going away."
"Leon...where are you going?"
"If I told you, I couldn't achieve what it is I am trying to achieve by leaving. I want to find peace."
"What if Riku wants to come talk to you? What is he supposed to do? Wait here for you just in case you decide to come back?"
"I don't care. I need peace."
"Leon, you are being selfish!"
"So what? Why can't I be selfish if I want to?"
"Because if you are, then what happens to the rest of us? We don't want you to disappear."
"Well, that really is too bad. I want to be gone, so I am leaving." I was done with this conversation. I got up slowly and walked towards the door. I didn't care at this point if I said goodbye to Coud, or if he just watched me leave. I had to get away from these painful memories.
Cloud let me go, everyone did. I managed to hide myself away at Hollow Bastion successfully for two years. It was ecacty two years to the day that Riku finally found me. I was sitting in the massive library on the second floor reading one of my favorite magazines when he calmly waltzed in and sat down in the chair next to me. I never even bothered to look up. I didn't have to. I heard and felt him walk into the library. I almost jumped out of my skin when I felt him sit down next to me. I finished the section of the article I was on and placed the magazine down on the tabletop.
"What can I do for you Riku?"
I could tell he was pissed off. "You fuckhead! I spent the last two years looking for you, and all you have to say is, 'What can I do for you?'! What the hell is your problem? You're the one that told Cloud to tell me to come and find you should I want to change your opinion on me. So what do I do? I come to change it, but you aren't around. That first month I waited around Traverse Town, thinking you might come back after a little while of self-reflection. But you didn't. So then I went back to Destiny Islands, thinking that perhaps you went there to find me. But you didn't do that either. Now I'm 0 for 3. So, I start visiting all the nearby worlds, trying to find you. But I fail again. For two years, minus one month, I have been scouring the worlds for your sorry ass, and go figure...here you are. One the one world that you would readily go to be away from people. I suppose I should have known better, but I suppose that I figured you had changed."
"Is there a point to this tale?"
He almost hit me. I could feel the anger radiating off of him. "Leon, I like you. Hell, I may even love you, but you're an ass! I wanted to tell you that I was wrong to let you think that I was using you. I wanted to let you know that I do care about you. I wanted to tell you that there was no other person on any world that I would let sit in my bedroom and watch me change. You should know, in all of our years together, that I never once let one of my dates stay in that room with me. No matter HOW LONG they had been dating me. I don't know if you knew it, but I never slept with any of them either. You are the only person who has ever seen me naked, with the exception of boys in gym class in the showers, and my mom. And none of them count, because that wasn't really willing. I do care so much about you, but you are too much of a selfish ass to let me tell you that."
"Riku, you just did tell me that. And did I once inturrupt you?"
He stopped and thought about that for a second. "No. You didn't. You haven't ever inturrupted me."
I sighed then, and leaned forwards, towards my silver-haired God. "Riku, I love you. I have always loved you, and I always will love you. We both know I am an ass, and I don't deserve you."
Riku smiled then, a heartwarming smile, and leaned in and kissed me. "No, you don't deserve me. I am a punishment. Be happy about it and take your medicine." He kissed me again. With tongue this time. I was in heaven. Or, as Riku put it, in Hell. I didn't care. I was in love with Riku, helplessly and hopelessly, and very very happily.
Fin
A/N: So, what did everyone think of this one? I know you all must have an opinion if you managed to get this far. I know I was suposed to be working on Fall Troubles, but I just don't have inspiration for that one yet. Honestly, I don't know if I will ever get to the sequels of Summer Heat. I guess it just seems like it can stand alone. But, anyways, I have other things to be working on. I am still working on The Fanfic, and The Light At The End Of The Tunnel, and I am trying to work on Divine Wind. I was reading over the stuf I have done for the next chapter, but my beta wasn't feeling up to writing at the moment, and niether was I, so we didn't wind up making much progress at all. I do kind of feel like scrapping it, but I don't really want to do that to all of my readers. I might see if Jayden wants to finish it for me, or at least give me some inspiration for writing it myself. My writing is probably going to slow down soon, because it is time for me to work on going to University in the fall. I have applications due and FAFSA and other scholarship stuff to do, so I will be busy. Plus, I am still working, and school resumes on Monday. And Wednesday I have my drive test so I can get my liscence. But anyways, that is just a heads up from me. I might put all this stuff in my profile, but no one really reads that important drivel anyways. But really, if anyone ever wants to know what is going on with me and my stories, especially if I have been quiet for awhile, then look there. I do update it fairly frequently. Please review this story, and go and read some of my other stuff too, please please!
Yuki
