I Don't Want To Go
Suggested Theme:
Main Theme- The Doctor Is Dying by Chameleon Circuit
The Wizards of the Black Circle are squatting inside an apartment that is being engrossed in giant ivy. Technically, they aren't squatters since they did kill the bachelor who lived here. Anagan flung the body into some bushes with gigantic heads of Venus flytraps. The plants gladly eat the corpse and evidence. One of the perks of Diana letting loose her nature monsters. Another perk is that all of the Gardenia citizens are either asleep or shaking in their homes, which means Netflix has less traffic than usual. The Wizards decided to marathon "Doctor Who" until the Winx defeat Diana. Knowing those girls, they will luck out and somehow convince that Major Fairy to join them. Eventually, the Wizards are planning to "join" the Winx as part of an all-or-nothing plan. For now, they are going to enjoy their confinement and the bachelor pad until the magical vegetation is extinguished.
They are on the Tenth Doctor's final episodes. They were on the part where the Doctor is momentarily glad that he is alive, but then Wilfred Mott knocks four times on the glass. In this moment, there is a hitch in Duman's breathing. At first, they all believed that Duman was going to cough again. Their little brother has been unwell since the Winx got the Earth to believe them. Lately, his cough has been happening more frequently and sounding harsher. Almost two hours ago, it sounded like Duman bruised his ribs. However, there is another hitch. Anagan and Ogron who've spent enough of their time with women would've believed that Duman was about to cry.
They've seen these episodes before when they first aired. Why would Duman be affected now? Granted, "Doctor Who" happens to be one of the few shows where Duman keeps his mouth shut. He has seen the Tenth regenerate into Eleventh before and didn't even blink. Anagan and Ogron immediately brushes the notion aside because it was uncomfortable and improbable. Duman only cries when he's badly wounded or poisoned. Or very, very sick.
"I don't want to go!" For a split second, Anagan and Ogron wonder why the Doctor's voice sounded cockney, but then realize it was Duman's voice. Duman has fled into the bedroom and has slammed the door close. They can hear rasping and coughing. They were about to go check on Duman when Gantlos stops them.
"I'll go see to his needs. You two can watch the Eleventh without us." Ogron and Anagan exchange worried looks. Emotions, other than coldness and anger, are not Gantlos's strong suite. Also, Gantlos isn't the kind of man to be a shoulder to cry on or even to wipe away tears. He and Duman like to be the ones to cause tears. But then again, those two understand each other better than Anagan and Ogron ever could.
Duman, the shape-shifter, is crying into a sweaty pillow and sniveling like a boy who got his heart broken. He hasn't truly cried since he was a boy. A dirty, abused boy trapped in a steel cage with no way out and forced to be the freak show of the circus. He hates crying and mocks others for doing that pathetic act, especially with the Earth Fairies. Ogron and Anagan haven't cried in centuries, while Gantlos never cried. Duman has never seen Gantlos shed a single tear even when there's a lance through his knee. He has always believed that Gantlos is very much like the dirty ice in his eyes, grounded and cold. Duman has always strived to be like Gantlos, tougher, stronger, and colder. Yet, he can never be like Gantlos, at least not enough to get a second glance from the man.
"Duman, why are you crying?" Duman buries his head even further into the pillow to muffle out his cries and hide his shame. If he had any magic to spare, he would've made the pillow eat his face. He can hear Gantlos walking towards the bed and then instinctively curls up like a frightened babe.
"Go away." He wants to shift into a rat and scurry away from this humiliating scene. Again, he lacks the magic to do so.
"No." Duman feels Gantlos's cold hands on his body. He tries to twist out of the icy grip, but this allows Gantlos to flip him over. Duman shuts his eyes in order to hide his tears.
"You're crying. You've been crying since the Doctor regenerated. Stop trying to hide your tears. I can smell the salt of your tears that streamed across your cheeks. Open your eyes." Duman twists again and hisses like a cat being cornered by a gang of stupid mutts. He hates looking weak. He hates being so weak. He hates crying. He hates how they lost to the fucking Winx Club. He hates Death. He fears Death. He doesn't want to die.
"Fuck off and leave me alone!" Yelling at Gantlos has never ever worked out for the yeller. Normally, it results in broken ribs or a missing limb. However, when Duman yells at Gantlos, it just results in the older man sleeping with some bar whore. He just wants Gantlos to leave. He just wants to be alone. He just wants Death to go away.
"What are you so afraid of? Ogron's plan will work. The Winx will fall for our 'redemption' and we'll seal the Fairies again!" Duman almost laughs, but begins to hack instead. Gantlos can feel the unnatural heat in Duman's skin. His little brother looks and smells so very sick.
"The Doctor is dead." Duman deadpans before going into another coughing fit. He feels as though he is coughing up seconds of his own life. There goes thirty seconds.
"We've seen the Doctor live and die for almost fifty years. Tenth will be back this fall anyways for the anniversary special. Why is his death getting to you now?" Duman lets out a strangled cry like he has broken his arm. He, in a droll manner, realizes that he won't even live long enough for the 50th anniversary special. He coughs away another twenty seconds of life.
"He was the last of the Timelords. All he wanted to do was live! And now a new man saunters away, while he gets to die!" Duman thinks he'll die. The Doctor is just a metaphor for the shape-shifter. Gantlos isn't the comforting kind, but Duman is whining and sobbing like he has only two minutes to live. Gantlos hates crying as much as Duman.
"You're not going to die. None of us are. The plan will succeed and we'll have our power back. We'll rule the world." Duman is not comforted by this; instead, he begins to tremble. He coughs away twelve seconds of life.
"Maybe you three, but not me. My body is failing me. I've always been the weak, little brother. I can't even shape-shift without feeling like my organs are failing. Who knows how long it will take for the Winx to believe us? The Earth Fairies may find us first and kill the weakest one. Me." Gantlos was about to say how ridiculous Duman's words were, but Duman decides to open his eyes. Gantlos is stunned to see the pure, primal fear in Duman's eyes like he is staring Death in the face and begging not to go.
"I don't want to die, Gantlos. I don't want to die!" Duman is openly crying in front of Gantlos. His cries are not filling Gantlos with sadistic satisfaction or mirthless numbness. Now, Gantlos is frightened by Duman's conviction. His little brother truly believes he will die.
"We're immortals, Duman. We'll be here long after humanity is gone. We'll live forever. You'll never die. I promise." Gantlos's words did not stop Duman's tears. His little brother keeps crying like a trapped bear. He wants the tears to stop. He wants Duman to stop crying. Duman looks pathetic with swollen eyes and snot coming out of his nose. In these situations, a person would try to hug the person. Gantlos enjoys giving hugs as much as he enjoys seeing Duman cry.
"Please, stop crying." Gantlos isn't demanding or pleading. He sounds cold and detached, but there is an undercurrent of concern. Duman takes some comfort in garnering that small emotion. He almost obeys Gantlos, but he has never been good at heeding commands. The scars on his body have proven that.
"Why? Because it makes you sick? Are you disgusted by me?" Duman rasps like the tears are burning his face. His looks have been his greatest source of insecurity as a child. He knew that he would never be as pristine as Ogron or as charming as Anagan. Or cool as Gantlos. He couldn't get the beauties of the world to notice him with his looks. He had to use his attitude and confidence to get his bed partners. Gantlos never had to really try to get all those pretty ladies into his bed.
"Never. I hate crying and so do you." Duman has to suck in some stale air to keep back his tears. God, did he hate crying, especially his own. But what else can he do in the face of his own mortality? Accept it? Embrace it? Not like this. Not when his own body is rejecting him. He doesn't want to die like this. He doesn't want to part from his brothers. He doesn't want to die without telling Gantlos about his feelings. He wants to live forever like in the old days when the Earth Fairies were locked away.
"I need to tell you…..I need to tell you before I die." He doesn't want to say those words now, but he might grow worse. He might grow so sick that he'll slip the plans out to the Winx. He can only hope that his brothers will be prudent and kill him before that happens. He needs to tell those words to Gantlos now before his brother confuses it for sickness.
"Stop being so melodramatic. You know I won't allow you to die. You're going to live forever. And you're not going to say any final words today or ever. The stars can turn into black holes, the sun can implode, and the Earth can be overrun with Earth Fairies, but we'll live like we always have." Duman has always had a tendency to exaggerate whenever he was sick, but Gantlos still took him seriously. Until Duman began to grate on his nerves. Gantlos's words were not for Duman's comfort, but his own now. He is trying to steady himself because he doesn't want to unravel before Duman. It wouldn't due for them both to be incapacitated by their emotions.
"Stubborn ass, stop telling me what to do!" Gantlos almost breathed a sigh of relief. There is the snappish and resentful brother that he missed. Envy is the blessed countenance to Duman's usual demeanor. It makes him quick to anger and quicker to forget what he was talking about earlier. It breathes some life back into Duman's pallid cheeks.
"We bring death, remember? Once the Fairies are sealed again, we'll become the masters of Death. We get to decide who lives and who dies. And you will live forever, Duman." Duman's eyes dulled as though he was repressing a loss. Maybe Gantlos should've let Duman say his words, but Gantlos doesn't want to listen. If he listened, then he is agreeing that Duman will die. Duman cannot die. Gantlos will not allow him to die. He cannot spend his life without his little brother.
"My head hurts. Do you have an aspirin?" Duman sounds very tired. He hasn't given up his notions about his own death, but at least he's dropping the subject. If only to alleviate his annoyance.
"No, but maybe the Eleventh Doctor will heal you through the power of laughter." Gantlos smirks as Duman groans. Duman hates the goofiness and the forgetfulness of the latest Doctor.
"Gantlos, what I was going to tell you earlier was to shut up and get me some Tylenol PM. I'm going to need that just to get through those gaudy bowties." Duman is lying. They both know this, but neither of them actually cares. They are back to the status quo where the line between immortality and death is firmly drawn. Duman isn't going to die and neither will Gantlos. At least, not until the anniversary special that is.
