.hack//losers
Scenario 1
What the Hell
Two men are seen, both men are casually leaning against a brick wall in Mac Anu on the Delta Server. One of the men appears to be about sixteen in age. He has a five-o-clock shadow and he looks pretty gruffy for his age. The other man is about fifteen with no features of interest. The two men suddenly whip thier heads around as if they had seen an old adversary.
"Dude... look at her ass... man, I'd like to get her member address... in my pants," frantically said the fifteen-year-old.
"Dude... that's a grunty," the gruff teen says, "and it's one of those fucking noble grunties..."
"Mona mie! Mona mie!" The noble grunty yells as it runs by.
"I'd bang that thing any day..." the fifteen-year-old adds.
"Your such a god damn loser Shadow."
"Your not much better yourself Outlaw," Shadow comments.
"You think we should actually go fight something? We can't even handle feilds with battle level 1."
"Meh, why battle when you can check out fine chicks all day."
"I hope you realize all the chicks on this game are fat middle-aged men with long hair, glasses and earmuffs."
"Sweet!" Shadow exclaims.
The two divert thier attention from the conversation to the girl walking by. Outlaw stares at the girl with extreme concentration and Shadow takes notice.
"I'm guessing you have an interest in middle-aged men?" Shadow asks.
"Psh... yeah... at least thier hot here..."
"What if they come find you in the real world?"
"I'll kill them with my Dante's Blades," Outlaw states menacingly.
"You don't have those in real life... hell, you don't even have those here..."
"Hmm... I guess your right," Outlaw sighs.
They look up again and look for any signs of women. None can be seen.
"Why the hell did I pay good money for this if I'm just going to lean on a wall and talk to you?"
"Because I'm Santa and I have a machine gun that shoots Dr. Pepper," Shadow says.
"..."
Outlaw stares blankly at Shadow.
"You don't have a machine gun that shoots Dr. Pepper," Outlaw claims.
"Dude, I totally have one," Shadow states, "How else could I have fought off those robots when they tried to take away my family?"
"You never did that."
"Or did I?"
"No."
"I'm a potato."
"Me too."
"So it's settled then?" Shadow asks.
"Yes, very well so," Outlaw agrees.
"Now then, on to business, I call the potato business on Dun Loireag and you can have the potato market on Carmina Gardelica."
"Sounds good."
Suddenly Outlaw feels a sharp pain on his cheek. He turns his head and sees a girl standing next to him. He doesn't seem to recognize her.
"I don't seem to recognize you," Outlaw says to the girl, "So why the hell'd you slap me."
"My friend told me you were up to no good and harassing women in this town. I'm here to kill you," the girl says.
"Well Outlaw... I think I'll be leaving now... time to kill some mutants and eat some bugles."
Shadow logs off. Outlaw stares wide-eyed at the girl, his mouth gaping.
"Shit... I'm fucked arn't I?" Outlaw squeaks.
"Hell yeah you are."
TO BE CONTINUED....
Scenario 1
What the Hell
Two men are seen, both men are casually leaning against a brick wall in Mac Anu on the Delta Server. One of the men appears to be about sixteen in age. He has a five-o-clock shadow and he looks pretty gruffy for his age. The other man is about fifteen with no features of interest. The two men suddenly whip thier heads around as if they had seen an old adversary.
"Dude... look at her ass... man, I'd like to get her member address... in my pants," frantically said the fifteen-year-old.
"Dude... that's a grunty," the gruff teen says, "and it's one of those fucking noble grunties..."
"Mona mie! Mona mie!" The noble grunty yells as it runs by.
"I'd bang that thing any day..." the fifteen-year-old adds.
"Your such a god damn loser Shadow."
"Your not much better yourself Outlaw," Shadow comments.
"You think we should actually go fight something? We can't even handle feilds with battle level 1."
"Meh, why battle when you can check out fine chicks all day."
"I hope you realize all the chicks on this game are fat middle-aged men with long hair, glasses and earmuffs."
"Sweet!" Shadow exclaims.
The two divert thier attention from the conversation to the girl walking by. Outlaw stares at the girl with extreme concentration and Shadow takes notice.
"I'm guessing you have an interest in middle-aged men?" Shadow asks.
"Psh... yeah... at least thier hot here..."
"What if they come find you in the real world?"
"I'll kill them with my Dante's Blades," Outlaw states menacingly.
"You don't have those in real life... hell, you don't even have those here..."
"Hmm... I guess your right," Outlaw sighs.
They look up again and look for any signs of women. None can be seen.
"Why the hell did I pay good money for this if I'm just going to lean on a wall and talk to you?"
"Because I'm Santa and I have a machine gun that shoots Dr. Pepper," Shadow says.
"..."
Outlaw stares blankly at Shadow.
"You don't have a machine gun that shoots Dr. Pepper," Outlaw claims.
"Dude, I totally have one," Shadow states, "How else could I have fought off those robots when they tried to take away my family?"
"You never did that."
"Or did I?"
"No."
"I'm a potato."
"Me too."
"So it's settled then?" Shadow asks.
"Yes, very well so," Outlaw agrees.
"Now then, on to business, I call the potato business on Dun Loireag and you can have the potato market on Carmina Gardelica."
"Sounds good."
Suddenly Outlaw feels a sharp pain on his cheek. He turns his head and sees a girl standing next to him. He doesn't seem to recognize her.
"I don't seem to recognize you," Outlaw says to the girl, "So why the hell'd you slap me."
"My friend told me you were up to no good and harassing women in this town. I'm here to kill you," the girl says.
"Well Outlaw... I think I'll be leaving now... time to kill some mutants and eat some bugles."
Shadow logs off. Outlaw stares wide-eyed at the girl, his mouth gaping.
"Shit... I'm fucked arn't I?" Outlaw squeaks.
"Hell yeah you are."
TO BE CONTINUED....
