Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine and all the bla bla bla… Just imagine for a second if it was…

Chapter 1:

All The Wrong Reasons

I've arrived at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. A beautiful castle lost in the middle of the Highlands and I just might have appreciated its serenity if it weren't for the fact that that the place is crawling with 11 to 17 year old students. And teachers, which is possibly worse. I hate people and I hate crowds, so I'm guessing it's going to be hard adapting. I've spent most of my life - no actually that's a lie, only 3 years (3 years, so little?) - isolated in my parents' house. Anyway, that's beside the point. I'm at Hogwarts now and I presume a new era is commenced. I admit I feel mildly excited but otherwise as usual. Incredibly bored. My roommates are about as entertaining as a bunch of hibernating otters: they've all gone to sleep. From the little I witnessed of them during the feast they seem to be just as wildly witty when they are awake. Let me remind myself how I managed to land in the midst of such a banal crowd.

There exists at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, a ceremony, especially gleaned for the terrified first years (such as me). This is named the Sorting Ceremony by its nature; to sort the helpless children into the four Hogwarts houses: Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor. This torturous procedure consists of putting a singing hat on one's head, which, granted I would have found entertaining had it not been for the fact that I would have to stand alone in front of a crowded hall and I thoroughly detest being in the limelight, be it one millisecond. However, I did enjoy the song, which was far from being Shakespeare, but amusing.

The problem in the matter is this: the Sorting goes by character traits, how did he put it… Well, basically, Gryffindors are brave and noble, Hufflepuffs are loyal and hard working, Ravenclaws are intelligent and Slytherin are cunning, ambitious and, apparently, unscrupulous. This is a problem simply because I am none of these. My personality is similar to a barren landscape of windless air on a grey indistinct weather day (if I haven't made myself clear enough yet), perhaps with a bit of storm now and again.

This is how proceeded my Sorting (which came too quickly to my liking); I didn't even give the hat a chance to speak:

Hello, I said in my mind, taking his words 'there's nothing hidden in your head the Sorting Hat can't see' literally. Look here, it's simple. I'm not brave. I don't believe in nobility. I'm loyal to no one, not even myself. I'm not intelligent so let's not go that way. And I'm not ambitious. So, do you suggest I go home?

There was a loaded silence, then…

Where do you want to be? asked the hat, a touch of amusement in his voice.

In the place where people are most likely to leave me alone.

Slytherin, said the hat without hesitation.

I think not. I am a weak nature and Slytherins don't look like a friendly lot. I'd be eaten alive.

Indeed. But Slytherins only take interest in people who are of use to them and since you quite obviously are not- again hint of amusement, I was torn between asking him what was so funny or smashing him into the wall- they'll let you be because they never turn against their peers.

Sounded like a reasonable argument.

Go for Slytherin then. But the hat hesitated again.

Are you sure?

I hate that question, I replied simply.

Very well. SLYTHERIN! came the almighty verdict.

But just before I took the hat off my ears I heard one final question.

Are you really a mute?

A/N: this is very much OC. So if you don't like it, steer clear. Spoilers up to OotP but slightly modified.

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