Yo,

This story is about Sakura, I'm going to put alot of myself in this story... Sakura is not happy, she hurts herself. If you can't handle ''morbid'' things like that, then don't read this fanfiction.

I don't own Naruto...

I changed this chapter a bit, I hope you won't mind.


Chapter 1

It all started when Sasuke and Naruto left. They left Konoha to grow stronger, both getting it from another person. They cared more about that than about everything else... even more than about Sakura. This had stung her, she hated that they both left her. She hated them for it. So all she could think of was requesting training from Tsunade-sama. This was her way of trying to keep up with them.

Kakashi was gone often. He had lots of missions to do. Of course they had kept in touch for while, with them being the only two members left of team 7 it had felt only like an obligation. But then Kakashi simply got too busy and forgot about her. They lost contact.

She was still only 14 when her father died during a mission. Starting from that point, Sakura's life had been one long dark period. Her mother died 2 years later in a fire-accident. That dark period now seemed to be an everlasting one. One that Sakura couldn't get out of. The loneliness was sickening. No friends, no family... There wasn't really anyone left Sakura cared for. Everyone she ever loved left her already.

Now at the young age of 17, Sakura lives alone, finally seeing the misery she's in. Sakura's heart never really recovered from her parents' death. Perhaps it was because no one had supported her during that time. The girl never figured out where they all were, when she was in pain. Kakashi, Naruto, Sasuke, Lee, Ino... Where was everyone when she needed the support?

Sakura now has a job in the hospital, being high ranked. This is one of the reasons why she 's able to afford a small apartment. After her work, she always goes home to an empty apartment. No family, no friends... She never had a boyfriend during these dark years. She just couldn't, she just couldn't love someone anymore. Her heart was full of sadness, there was no room for such thing.

The rest of her friends were busy training, growing stronger, falling in love... Lee, Ino, Shikamaru... And she was left out, she didn't grow with them. She never went out, because she never felt like it.

Now, her friends don't even acknowledge her anymore. Her introvert attitude has caused them to expand the gap between them. They don't even see her anymore. She has become invisible. It's as if they ignore her, as if they've forgotten that she excists. That made her feel confused, and as time past by, she drifted further away from social life. She had tried to cling onto them, but found it too hard. She tried to act the same as they did. She tried to be happy, to go out sometimes... but that only made her feel more miserable. Sakura was already too broken. And now, they are forgetting her.

Long had Sakura resisted this thought, she told herself it wasn't true, but no one even talked to her anymore. People simply don't like to hang with weaklings, with burdens. They avoid them.

Why? Why...?, she asked herself over and over. But nothing changes... she feels so alone.

Why do they all ignore me?

Why weren't they there for me?

Why am I like this?

Why? Why? Why?

The longer Sakura was left alone, the further she drifted away from everyone, from reality. The longer no one recognized her, the more sad she started to feel. She often cried herself to sleep, still with that stupid and annoying question:

Why? Why? Why?

Days past, days without any happiness, or relief. Still with that sickening feeling of loneliness and emptiness. The feeling of sadness stayed inside her, and after some time, the sadness slowly started to change into hatred. Anger and hatred slowly ate her feelings, making her numb. She wanted to feel alive again. She hurt herself just so she could feel alive, just to espress the pain in her heart, just to cut the numbness away for a moment.

Scars... first one, then another... then more followed.

--

Sakura sits on her bed, kunai in her right hand, the tip pointing to her arm. She doesn't want to die, she just wants to feel alive. To get rid of that sickening feeling of loneliness and numbness.

She presses the sharp tip into her arm. Blood slowly comes out of the little wound. With a slow motion, she reaps the kunai further over her wrist. Blood drips on her legs, a sharp pain... it's unbearable, yet a satisfaction. She just wants to feel alive, to be awakened for a moment from this eternal nightmare. She doesn't cry at the pain she causes herself. No, she can't cry anymore, she's too numb, too far away. Long years or ignorance caused her to be like this.

She can feel nothing else but a pain in her heart, like someone squeezes it. They all forgot her, everyone left her, nothing can bring her back to reality. She is living in her own world now. Alone with her morbid thoughts and the knife.

Why?

Pain, in her arm, itching pain...

Why?

Blood, staining her hand, her legs and the bed sheets.

Why?

She can't get out of her world anymore, she wants to, but finds that she's already too far away... She wants to get out so badly. She wants to get rid of this emptiness, the numbness. She HAS to get it away. It's too morbid, too rotten, too lonely, too painful.

Get away, get away, cut it away, cut it away, until it's gone...

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

A sob, but no tears. She is crying, yes she is. But no tears fall during. Inside she's slowly breaking for the umpteenth time. Her heart is being ripped to peaces. She doesn't want to feel alone anymore... She can't stand it anymore, it's too long, too long too alone. The realization of her miserable life and loneliness scares her. Knowing the fact that no one cares for her kills her.

Get out, Cut it away. Cut it out of yourself!

Please... someone save me!

Sakura falls asleep, forgetting to nurse her wounds. But she doesn't care about getting an infection. More pain means more feelings. More feelings would mean: no numbness. She just wishes that someone could take away this nightmare, just so that she wouldn't have to do it herself anymore. With the knife...

--

Sakura wakes up, finding that her whole sheet is covered with blood. Feeling irritated, she gets up and glances at her alarm clock. With a rush, she throws the sheet into the washing machine.

After quickly showering and getting dressed, she gets her bandages. She tightly wraps them around her wrist, just so no one would see it. She would never show the world her scars, the ones created by herself.

It's time to leave, since it's already 8 o'clock. Locking her apartment, she quickly leaves for the hospital, running on her way to it.

Once she gets in the hospital, she pulls on her white coat. She grabs her to-do list and starts checking the medical supplies. She writes down which medicine needs to be ordered and sorts out a few of them. After that, she starts doing rounds. A Chunin she's unfamiliar with, needs a treatment for some infected wounds. Later an emergency case comes in with a broken leg and a stab in the neck. They need Sakura's help for this case.

''Haruno-sama, quickly! Emergency room 4!'' a nurse yells.

Sakura only nods and quietly follows the girl. She enters the Emergency room, seeing a lot of blood on the floor and stretcher. A young medic tries to heal the neckwound, while a nurse attempts to hold the struggling man down.
With unknown speed, Sakura is next to the medic and carefully takes over.

''Start working on his leg!'' she orders, pushing chakra into the Jounin's neck. With her chakra she feels that his artery is hit. Blood flows all over her hands. The man tries to struggle again.

''Hold him!'' she yells, fearing for his life-threatening situation. Though Sakura's emotionally disordered, she never thinks of herself during a situation like this. She would never let someone die in her hands, that would make everything worse.

Finally after more than ten minutes, the bleeding in the man's neck stops. Sakura lets the other medic take of the bandages, while looking at his leg. The pink haired girl sighs tiredly, she used a lot of chakra. After leaving instructions for the man's leg, Sakura slowly exits the E.R. And then an assistent approaches her, looking very scared.

''Haruno-san!'' Sakura looks at the girl and raises her brows, letting her know she got her attention.

''An injured man has arrived, but he won't let the medics heal him. Once he heared your name, he requested you!''

''Oh?'' she replies tiredly. Even though her shift has ended, she decides to visit the patient. That patient now got her attention.

''Also, Tsunade-sama ordered five ANBU to watch him day and night. She said he needs to be watched and that his life is in danger.'' Sakura 's eyes widen and already has an idea of who this patient might be.

''Room number 067!'' the girl says, as if she can read Sakura's thoughts. The young medic doesn't answer but drags her body in a quick pace to the room. She opens the door and sees a pale Naruto laying on the bed, pulling an angry face at the male medic. The medic that obviously tried to heal him is standing impatiently at the side of his bed.

''Sakura-chan!'' he yells instantly when he sees her. Sakura watches him. His happy blue eyes, the big grin on her face... It darkens her mood.

''Naruto'' she responds coldly, giving him a nod.

This confuses him of course. He had expected her to act a bit warmer than she just did. This was their first meeting in nearly three years... She just lacks happiness and enthusiasm. He probably doesn't even know her parents died, since he never once tried to contact her.

''Sakura-chan! You work in this hopsital?! Are you going to heal me?'' he tries again cheerfully. But Sakura shakes her head.

''No, Naruto. I only came here to tell you this: I have work to do, so stop being so stubborn and let this man heal you. I'm too busy right now.''

Naruto's eyes widen and he just stays silent, looking at her with sad, big eyes. ''Sakura-chan... What happened to you?''

Sakura scoffs bitterly. She turns around, not even thinking about answering to that foolish quieston. How could he just act like nothing happened? As if everything would be normal once he returned. No, too many things had changed... nothing could go back to the way they were. Nothing...

She didn't really tell Naruto the truth. She wasn't busy at all, her shift ended 2 minutes ago. But she just didn't feel like catching up or telling him what happened to her in these three years. When she exits the hospital, she realizes that she has forgotten to ask Naruto why his life is in danger, and why he needs to be watched by five ANBU.

It can wait...

The sun is already setting when Sakura gets home. Tiredness makes her decide to skip diner for today. The healing session has exhausted her too much. Not bothering to turn on some lights or to even undress herself, she drops herself on her bed and falls asleep.

--

The girl wakes up in the middle of the night. Fear squeezes her heart tightly. She dreamed about Naruto, but she couldn't really remember exactly what. The dream triggered something. It awaked her feelings.

Sakura sits up, running a hand through her hair. She closes her eyes in sadness.

He never once... thought of me while he was gone. They never cared for me, they never cared about what happened to me.

The realization of that she is indeed all alone, hurts her once again. She never gets used to it, she always gets hurt by it. She always thought that sleep would take away the feelings...no sadness, no hatred, nothing. But this dream she had, can be compared to a nightmare. It triggered everything. Pressing her hands on her face, she starts sobbing. Her heart cries, but there are no tears. She reaches underneath her pillow, it's too dark to see anything.

Her arms are scarred, there are so many. What would Naruto say if he ever saw them?

She tries not to, but her heart aches. The girl grabs the kunai from under her pillow. She sobs again. Loneliness captures her mind completely. No, she doesn't want to go into that world again, she doesn't want to... but she needs to.

With a sudden move she gets up and runs to the door. She opens it with a lot of force. With the knife still grasped in her clenched fist, she watches the heavy rain outside.

Without a second thought, she sprints out. The rain closes her in completely. The midnight coldness and rain make her eyes wet. She runs, and runs and runs even faster. Not knowing where to go to, there was no place she could to go. So she choses the forest. Sakura keeps running, water splashing around her. She tries to free herself, to free herself from the loneliness by exhausting herself.

She runs until she trips and falls down hard. She pants, watching the trees surrounding her. Here. She truly is all alone, but somehow it feels different than being locked up in that small apartment. She feels more at ease here.

She doesn't even try to catch her breath, as she watches the knife in her hand. She has done it so often, it's an addiction somehow. The pain, the feeling of being alive, she wants it, she needs it. But another side of her hates it, another side of her hates the feeling of being alive. Such a hard contradiction.

She scratches her legs. Dark liquid drips out of the wound, mingling with the rain, only reflected by the moon. She reaps her upperlegs and her calves. Sakura throws her head backwards, only concentrating on the raindrops falling on her face and the stinging pain of the wounds.

Pain...

Soreness and pain.

She cries inside.

Why?

She stands slowly, wiping some wet locks out of her face. The girl walks to the river. It looks beautiful and perfect. It's waves and the reflection of the moon. Oh, how her crazy mind now wishes to be part of such perfection. In a crazy moment, she jumps in. Not caring about her clothes, not caring about her wounds, just enjoying the moon, it's reflection and the coldness.

Why?

She looks at her hands, the blood remains on her hands. The water is so cold, her lips turn blue. She dives, letting the water close her in completely. Her skirt moves up and down at the vibration of the water. Sakura opens her eyes and looks at her hands again, her right one is still holding the kunai. Everything seems blue, because of the moon and the fact she is still underwater. She traces the scars with her finger...

Why, water, do you close yourself around me, even when my blood stained hands cannot be cleaned, ever.

She comes up.

Why, air, do you keep filling my lungs, even though I'm rotten inside.

She deeply inhales, throwing her head backwards and screams her painful lungs out.

Why, moon, do you keep reflecting yourself on my wet skin, when it is already scarred.

She keeps screaming.

Why?

I'm already injured.

I'm already spoiled, ruined.

I'm already lost...

Her voice sounds raw, and her throat hurts. She shakes her head, throwing her wet, shoulder-length hair on her back. She watches her hands and wrists again. The scars are a sign of her hatred, she hates herself. She hates being alone, empty and most of all: the numbness. The sadness has already turned into hatred. Hatred burns her heart, loneliness bitters her soul, emptiness makes her uncaring and numbness eats away her feelings.

She swims a little and looks back at the shore. Her eyes travel up, staring at the dark trees. And then she sees it...

Glowing red eyes watch her, and she makes the mistake by looking straight into them. Blood red eyes paralyse her body. Fear takes over her body, and every muscle in her entire body stiffens. She can't move anymore and slowly starts sinking into the deep water. Just before her head goed under, she takes a deep breath. She sinks further and looks up, seeing the blue moon. She closes her eyes in desperation.

This is the end, I'm going to drown.

Paralysed... so stupid.

Lost in thougts, lost in fear she feels a hand grabbing the shoulder of her red-Haruno sweater. Two strong hands pull her out of the water, not caring to be gently. Her already injured calve is scratched by the sharp edge of a rock. The second her head gets out of the water, she deeply inhales and coughs.

She is dropped down and though she's still stiff, she opens her eyes. She looks up, again into those red eyes. She can see the person those eyes belong to this time. Sakura can't see his entire face, just his eyes and forehead. But she knows who he is. His dark cloak gives away his identity.

Sakura just looks at him, she's not afraid. That probably has to do with the state she is in now. She knows he's dangerous, but she has nothing to fear. She doesn't mind dying, no one would miss her. She never dared to do it herself. But the situation now causes Sakura to get curious.

Why is he here in Konoha? Why did he pull me out of the water? Why did he come here?

He bends over and snatches the kunai out of her hand. She just lets him. Even with a kunai she wouldn't be able to get away. This guy is too strong for her.

He takes her in, from head to toe, every detail. His eyes linger on the wounds on her legs, her white, medic skirt doesn't hide them. He examines her while she still lies uncomfortable one the ground. She speaks up. ''Why are you looking at me, Uchiha Itachi?''

He notices her not being afraid, but he doesn't answer her question. He just states: ''Haruno Sakura. You're coming with me.''

And before Sakura can say anything, he preforms some handseals. Chakra-ropes appear around her wrists and feet. He bends over again and pulls her arm, to make her stand up.

''Why...?''

Itachi again does not answer. He closes the distance between them and with a quick move he swings her over his shoulder. The Uchiha walks to a tree, jumps in it and leaves Konoha; Sakura's home...


Chapter 2 will be ready soon.

I hope you liked it