A/N- Just a little something to get me back into writing after a very long time. Written while waiting for a sibling to get ready- yes, they really took that long! We were very late.

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To say that I met Jack over my girlfriend's dead body would be a lie. Rachael was still twitching subtly when I locked eyes on the 6"1 figure that would become my boss. This isn't making any sense, is it? Let's start at the beginning.

Rachael and me had known each other since college, which was six years ago. We'd slipped in and out of friendship for four years, ever since she slept with my best friend. Without telling me. Or inviting me to join in. But about six months ago, we both got incredibly drunk, and ended up fucking on the bathroom floor at a mate's party, falling asleep and being woken up by someone running in to puke in the morning. Not the best of situations, been as we were both stark bullock naked, but it wasn't that bad as the pukee then slipped, cracked his head on the tiles and knocked himself unconscious, thus forgetting the whole night and morning.

So to say it was awkward would be the understatement of my life. But afterwards, we unofficially became a couple. When she changed her facebook status to "in a relationship" three months after, we became official. But why is she dead? Now, that's a very interesting question.

Anyone who knows Rachael will know that she keeps human contact to a minimum, unless its sexual. So, needless to say, I started to freak when she suddenly wanted to cuddle. This went on for a couple of weeks, until the night I met Jack Harkness. We were lying in bed, Rachael cuddled up to me, when she suddenly sprouted a thing that looked like a used condom out of the side of her head, proclaiming that the human race would be obliterated. Being a human with the desire to live, I grabbed the wok of the floor (don't ask why there was a wok on my bedroom floor. It was an interesting night, but a tale for another time) and whacked her over the head with it as hard as possible. Cue Jack, taking the door off the hinges with a well-aimed shot, shouting that an alien was on the loose that craved skin to skin contact, and to take off all clothing immediately. Frankly, I was more shocked by the cuddling. The grin on his face was unfathomable. He's always been a pervert.

So, that's how I met Jack and became part of Torchwood, the only secret organisation with a Wikipedia page. So much for being inconspicuous.