Tsubasa crack
A/N I'm in love with Yama and Nihon fics and I can't get enough of them. This was supposed to be a one-shot but turned out to be a mini-series (mini- mini if you consider their length). It's set after the end of Tsubasa series and describes Kurogane and Yuui's (yeah, I know Clamp won't change his name back but I still can dream) live in Nihon. Oh, and Yuui got his eye back, decided to leave all angst behind and started new life as Tomoyo's court magician- I hope you won't die from overdose of sugar.
"…and please, if you could give them to Yuui-kun while they are still warm, because the syrup is the best exactly when…," the voice continued its never-ending list of polite requests (all revolving around a particular blond wizard) but Kurogane stopped listening at least ten minutes ago, only occasionally snarling when he heard things sounding suspiciously like "bishonen" or "chocolate is the best aphrodisiac, don't you agree?". Our favourite ninja looked sulkily through the window and contemplated his recent situation.
The life, he decided after a few minutes, wasn't that awful in general. First, he was home and nothing truly live-threatening happened to Tomoyo-hime during his absence. Second, brats and princesses were safe now; all of them; even if their recent number was still a mystery for him- the idiot probably knew, though, still overjoyed by the idea of having so many step-children. Speaking of the devil…
Yuui had been absolutely unbearable; prancing around the castle like an oversized squirrel and fawning to everyone he met at his new home. Every single second he was awake he spent on giggling, chatting and being insanely gregarious.
It seemed that under thick layers of plastic smiles and false cheerfulness Yuui actually had inexhaustible reserves of good humour and undying love for all living creatures (including frogs and bugs) he spotted around the Shirasagi castle. It was almost as he made a personal goal to befriend with every single servant employed in the castle. And if things went like this (Kurogane gave the tired look to all presents he was currently holding) he might even succeed.
Tomoyo took instant liking in him, probably since their first arrival, claiming that they are fellow magicians and "oh my God, Kurogane I'm so relived that you brought Yuui. I thought you might scare him away; but you do realise that he is the best male model in all dimensions, don't you? I must find my measure tape, now!!"
Souma liked him too, although instead of constant 'ohohohohohoho!' she opted for approval wolf-whistle every time they met and treated mage like a younger brother (sort of). They spent a lot of time together- it was almost weird to see always uptight Souma laughing at idiot's jokes - usually after a few drinks but still.
Amaterasu was a little more reserved, politely asking Yuui about future plans ("I'm gonna the best magician ever!") and language lessons ("Finally I know what Kuro-meanie called me when Mokona wasn't around!) but it was more for show and he actually saw the empress trying to teach mage some traditional Japanese dances.
Unfortunately, it was more and more clear that bright mismatched eyes, silky golden hair, milky skin (ah that skin!) and willowy figure were attractive not only for Kurogane (how surprising) but also hordes of other people.
And yeah, the cooks loved him and stuffed with some weird food all the time.
Court ladies loved him even more, treating mage like some sort of cute human-pet.
Advisers were extremely pleased- they almost chocked their pipes- to hear that Yuui would like to work with them (and most of them were over fifty, god dammit, they shouldn't drool over some foreigner, no matter how hot he was).
Servants enjoyed his company a bit too much, as well as gardeners, medical staff and that old guy from the library.
However, one group was even worse.
Soldiers.
My, who would guess?
Day 1
"Kami… a kami has come!"
"An angel from heaven…"
"Goddess…give us your blessing!"
After the time they had spent in Yama, Kurogane often considered how his fellow-citizens would react at Yuui. In the war-camp, no matter where they went, the mage was immediately in the center of attention- quite funny if you remember that he pretended to be mute and therefore use only gestures to communicate. The ninja wondered if it would be the same in Nihon.
Not in the wildest dreams he imagined that they would treat him as a goddess.
Day 4
"Ohayo Yuui-chan… allow me to say that you look very b-beautiful today" (blush)
"Yuui-san… would you like to sit with us?" (even larger blush)
"C-could I ask you to be my s-s-sparing p-partner?" (blush and sweat-dropping since it took a lot of courage to ask such question with Kurogane trademark laser-glare at your back )
… and so on. It ended thought, when Yuui took off his shirt (it was a present from Tomoyo-hime and he didn't want it to get dirty during training) and more than the half of soldiers fainted from the nosebleed. There were men as well as women between them and if Kurogane wasn't so mad, he might have even felt a tingle of pride for his people's liberality.
Day 17
After being the unwilling cause of blood loses, Yuui went to castle infirmary to start a medicine course and was eager to practice his new skills. However, there was no need for his assistance when he came to training grounds. At least, at the beginning.
"Oh no, I think I've twisted my ankle!"
"Is it a rash?"
"Somebody (a quick glance at the blond) please help me! There's something wrong with my arm!"
"My head is spinning, maybe it's food poisoning?"
"Watch out, you've almost cut off my hand!" (at that moment Yuui run out of sedative ointment and decided to kiss the cut better. Needless to say, Kurogane was forced to kick mage out and banned from training fields.)
Things were clearly escalating. And now he could hear some noises coming from the shower rooms.
God, save us all.
