It's the worst feeling. Knowing that you're about to get heartbroken and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. The feeling of being in pain but not destroyed, when you feel so insignifigent and everything is painful and you can't help but play some music and try your best to ease the pain.
Nobody knew this feeling better then Mark Neilson. He had given his heart to his first girlfriend and just when he thought he loved her and she loved him she took his heart and sliced it open, stepped on it, and threw it in the fire. Later she poured salt on the wound by slipping hints she cheated on him. He had some more girls later. But none of them could mend the damage.
That was until she came along. She mended the wounds. Fixed his heart and reminded him what love was. He had fallen for her, and he truly thought she had fallen for him. All in the school the heard things like 'perfect couple' or 'meant for each other' and everyone envied their relationship.
Then closing in on their five year anniversary, no more than six days away, he was informed of what she thought of him. Their mutual friend couldn't bear to see him injured and told him what she had told her. 'I'm losing my inner solider. He's clingy and lovey dovey and I don't feel that spark any more. He just is softening me and ruining my organization. Friends first then comes him.'
He couldn't believe it. For five years he had always put her first. When her birthday came up at the same time as their family vacation he stayed to be with her. When her brother had broken his arm when he was terribly ill, he went with her to the hospital. All this and more yet she was preparing to leave him because she was starting to like him more than her friends!
He was angered at first but then decided it was inevitable. They were bound to break up eventually. He closed his laptop and texted the mutual friend a thank you message. He grabbed his pillow and cried himself to sleep for the first time in eight years.
The next day he meet her in front of her house and told her he thought it was time for them to break up. She told him she was sad but she never even let her eyes water. Meanwhile he was sobbing uncontrollably. He climbed inside of the car and continued to cry. L
Later he went to the gun store and purchased a six shooter .45 magnum and a single bullet. He went to his room and loaded the gun. He pointed the guns barrel directly at his temple with a final cry to god for a sign of what to do he gripped the trigger ready to end his life. He sobbed and was ready to face his punishment for suicide.
He straightened up his back and closed his eye deciding to send one more prayer for a sign. He was given no response, and was prepared for the pain as the bullet hit. He slowly pulled the trigger, as time slowed. Second became days, as his life flashed in his eyes.
He felt the trigger hit the final point and he heard a sharp click. He looked at the hammer and found it down. So he pulled out the bullet and placed it in another chamber. It would work this time, he thought as he cocked the gun. He pulled the trigger and again heard a click. He was puzzled just as he heard a voice say "you wanted a sign right?"
Now he knew what to do. He immediately took the gun back for a refund and headed home. He was so deeply upset but he mow knew not to end it all because of this.
Meanwhile down the street the girl who he thought had loved him secretly went into the bathroom and locked the door. She knew that he found out what she had said and realized how selfish she had been. She cupped his face and cried for the first time ever over a boy. She now saw what she had, but it was gone.
