Soo, this is my first Commentary, Hope you like! (:

Hi my name is Gwen Roxan Domiiqu Topaz(Worse than that Jasmine…whatever it was) (not Carter yet, bcuz i ddnt meet trent yet)(Spoiling the story, I see…) n i live in canida wif my sister Midnite. (shes goff as well)(What the hell is a "goff" Like The sport, Golf?) we liv in a dark house that iz far away from every1 els n we r vampires(Where did Vampires come from? O_o). we feest on blood n no1 else noes dat we are vampirs(No Shit Sherlock -.-). not evn are mom wich is y we moved away to b by ourselves. yes we r LONERS(You just said that…).

i go 2 a hi school n every1 finks dat im really hott, i hav strait blak hair nd topez n topez (What the heck is a "Topez"?)hair 2 eyes n mi sister midnte is da same accept she has magenta eyez. i wear lots of blak makup on mi eyes even tho i hav dark ciircles under my eyes, i dnt lyk any1 at mi school(Well, Here's a suggestion, DON'T GO TO THE SCHOOL! -_-), i am a missenthrop (a/n loook it up) that menz i hate other ppl accept midnite.

one day i met a realli sexi vampore(How you know he's a Vampire though, you just said no one else doesen't know :/) named DUNCAN CARTERhe haz realli white skin lyk me. he is satan's gift to dis planet (a/n I DONT BELEVE IN GOD I AM N ATHEIST. i thnk saten created dis universe god bles u satan u r alwayz in mi heart.) so anywey i met him i nda skewl n he was wif some fukking ugli ass bytch named cortney(At Least she's not a mary sue.). she waz soo stupid n she kept bitchen. Edwward(Who's Edward? From Twilight?) lookd at me lyk wtf is dis gurl doing. i smiled at him sexi and aventerous n he new rite away that i wuz a vampir, i culd tell from his eyes wich were da same collor as mine.(They could be regular eyes, or contacts.)

"Heyy" he sed walkn away from bella. dere were some gay ass ghetto ppl(What's wrong with gay ghetto people? That's offensive.)in his way doin da SOLDA BOY CRANK DANce n he jus lookd at dem with his dethly eyes n they iran away. i realy hat cliks n gheto ppl fink they r kewl(Conceited much?) , i giv dem the middle finger in the halwayz n itz l;ke YEA HUS TUFF NOW LOL rite

neway duncan n i sat 2getha at da lunch tabel n cortney stard at us wif dat poser Jeff.(Hmm, I must've missed Jeff in the show :/) ed ddnt pay ne atencion to her at all. he told me al abot how he iz a vampir n his dad sammual wnated 2 meet me. n his sister luved me rite away n his mom wnted 2 meet me 2.

so we kut skewl early n went to his realli big house in da sitty when we got there saaual came to da door imedately. he gasped in surpise at my beauty (a/n not lik pervy BLEHHHHHH)

"You Must be Gwen, my u certenly r attraxive" he teasd me seductevly. ed, Duncan n his sis growld at him angrly, all sensitive becuz they liked me 2 besidez it wusnt fare cuz he was alreadi married.(With Who? A dog?)

"Yea thats me lol" i told him and bowed(Gwen's not even Japanese, dipshit. Neither is Duncan) (a/n dats wat they do in japanese becuz its polite) "nice to met you i said.

"So i hear ur a vampir, cum(I sincerely hope you mean "come") in my house n we can talk about it."

I waz sooo excited n i ran in quikly in every1 followed me(You Just said no one liked you at school, smartass) , we were alreadi frends.

XXXXXXXXXX END OF CHAPTE (What's a Chape? I thought it was Chapter) 1XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

PLZ GUYZ TELL ME IF ITS GUD(It's Really Not.)