Why do you all cry for me?
I am in a much better place now
The sickness in my head has
dissipated
And
I am
For once
At peace
My thinking had become so clear
In those last few moments of my
life
My regrets
Strong enough
To cloud
My fears
Already unconscious
But not yet dead
My last thoughts were these
Of you
My family
My children
My love
Blood may be thicker than water
But water can wash away blood
I was
A Spaulding
Through and through
It didn't have to be in my
genes
To be a part of my nature
And this may very well have
been
What ultimately led to my
demise
But still
I did love
Every last one of you
Lizzie, James, Zach, Emma
I've left you all fatherless
But maybe
That is a good thing
What I had become
In those last few days
A monster to say the least
A slave
To the illness
Overtaken
By the sickness in my head
I love you all
Even now
I will be with you
Always
In much better form
Please do not remember me
For what I had become
But for what I once was
What you all made me strive to
be
Kind, caring, compassionate
A better man
I have failed you
But I do love you
Rick
What can I say of my love for
you?
It was
Returned to me stronger than
any other love
In some respects
Yet
Completely unrequited in others
I wonder
What would you have said
If I had let you know
Each and every feeling
That I had for you
My best friend
Who could have been more
What you thought of me in the
end
Pained me more than anything
else
My last regret
Was kissing you on the head
The last time that I cradled
you in my arms
If only I'd had the nerve
To bring my lips to yours
I could have savored
The taste of your mouth
Lingering on my tongue
For all of eternity
