Stefan poured himself another glass of scotch. He was well into the bottle, but he had lost count. His mind was all over the place after today's event at the school with Rebekah and Elena. God how he wanted her to just erase his memories of everything. Elena no longer cared. Well maybe she did because he caught the look in her eyes when Rebekah asked him to make a choice to remember all the pain for the rest of eternity or to simply forget that the one girl he loved more than life itself had betrayed him. Crushed his heart after he did everything for her. Stefan shook his head in anger at Rebekah for not erasing his memories. He didn't want them anymore. It was just another thing in his life that was going to haunt him. He couldn't even turn into Ripper Stefan because he knew she would be disappointed in him but then again he no longer mattered and her attention was all on Damon now. Stefan cursed his brother and the damn doctor for taking his blood. Stefan didn't want this life for Elena. She didn't want this life for herself but for some reason Damon wanted it for her so therefore Elena thought she wanted this life. The life that Damon lived, to feed off of humans.
Stefan shuddered at the thought of Elena acting so much like Katherine. Finishing another glass of Damon's best scotch Stefan compared in his mind how alike Elena was acting to Katherine. Stefan could swear that if they were to be standing in front of him today he wouldn't be able to tell the difference. They both took his love for granted and they both broke his heart by sleeping with his brother, by falling in love with his brother as well. This wasn't what he even wanted for himself when he came back to Mystic Falls. When he returned and got to know Elena he swore that he would protect her from everything, he would love her until the end of his time and that he would never curse her to his life of eternity full of killing. Elena was more than that. She was pure and innocent. That's what Stefan loved about her. She was what kept him going each day. Now he didn't have anything. She was Damon's reason to live a better life now. Stefan hated how selfish he felt for being jealous of his brother but he had a right to be selfish when it came to Elena because he loved her first. She had chosen him over Damon that night. Stefan regretted his decision of saving Matt instead of her first. If he would have just been selfish as Damon was and saved Elena she would still be human and she would still be his.
Anger consumed him as he stood in front of the fire place clenching the glass in his hand careful not to break it. Stefan wanted to feel something thought. He wished in that moment that he was still human because right now he was numb. She had made him feel so alive like he was human again and now that she was gone he felt nothing. Just as Klaus had wanted him to feel, nothing. Stefan would give anything for Klaus to compel him to turn the switch off again. He could not live forever with the pain in his heart.
There was a knock on the door that brought Stefan away from his thoughts for a second. He sighed looking at the clock to see it was two in the morning already. He wasn't sure where the time had gone or who would be knocking on his door this late at night. No one ever came to the house anymore besides Caroline and she usually just let herself in. Confused Stefan walked to the door swinging it open. The emotions he was feeling before all came flooding back to him as he saw who was standing in his door way.
"Elena..." He whispered. He didn't know why she was here. Stefan wanted to welcome her in and take her in his arms like he usually would but things were different now and especially after today he wasn't so sure he even wanted to be near her.
Elena could see the pain in his eyes as he looked at her. All afternoon she had sat in her bedroom trying to piece together where she went so wrong with him. How it had all fallen apart and the only thing she could pin it to was herself. She had become someone she no longer recognized when she looked at her in the mirror. Her actions and words were not the Elena that she knew or anyone else knew. The only person who seemed to like the new her was Damon and that was probably because he was finally getting her. Elena wasn't even sure if he feelings were real anymore. She didn't know what was real to her or not. Of course everything with Damon felt real and it felt right, but her heart also longed for more. She didn't know what that more was anymore. Damon had told her tonight she could come to him and she smiled and started heading towards the lake house but the closer she got the more her heart ached. There was something inside of her that was missing. It took everything inside of her to not listen to Damon and come to him. Her body physically hurt by betraying his wish. She had long turned her phone of fearing that if she answered another one of his calls he would demand that she come to him and she just couldn't tonight. She couldn't go feed off another human being and then compel them to forget. She couldn't do that anymore. She could see the hurt and pain in everyone's eyes that she cared about. After turning her car around Elena drove around for hours trying tp stop the fight inside of herself. She didn't know where to turn anymore.
"Stefan." She said in a tone that Stefan had not heard from her in such a long time that it made his heart ache. She looked him in the eyes with such fear and vulnerability. It was the same look that she gave him today when he Rebekah was asking her to make the choice of taking his memories away. Stefan wasn't sure why she was giving him that look. Elena held back the tears that were forming in her eyes. She hated vampire emotions. She hated everything about being a vampire. There was nothing that she liked about it. Nothing that she liked herself. Damon was the only thing that made her like being a vampire. It was like he never let her feel anything for herself. She felt the need to please him and do whatever made him happy. It wasn't like that with Stefan. He allowed her to make the choices for herself. He didn't want this life for her. She wanted to live her life as a vampire like Stefan not Damon, but her heart wouldn't let her live any way besides the way that Damon wanted for her. The sire bond was beginning to ruin her life, or what was left of it. She was losing everyone that she cared about. Caroline and Bonnie were both so disappointed in who she was becoming and the decisions she was making.
"I'm sorry." Elena finally said as the tears started to roll down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry Stefan."
Stefan stood frozen. His heart was telling him so many different things. The part of him that wanted to protect her told him to take her into his arms and make all of her pain go away, the part of him that was still madly in love with her told him that he needed to forgive her and find the cure and bring back his old Elena. Then there was the part of him that wanted to protect him from getting his heart broke again. The side that wanted to shut the door in her face and tell her to go to hell for sleeping with his brother. That side of him wanted to come out so bad.
"I can't Elena." Stefan said quietly but with a broken voice. Elena nodded wiping some of the tears from her cheeks.
"I don't want any of this." She confessed. "I didn't want any of this to happen. The whole thing with Damon is something I can't stop but I should have tried harder." Elena knew that he didn't want to hear any explanations but she had to tell someone what she was feeling inside even if he hated her. "Asking for your forgiveness is a selfish thing to do but I'm still here. The girl you fell in love with is somewhere inside of me but she is being pushed away because of my stupid sire bond. Damon wants me to live a life like him and I can't Stefan."
Stefan crossed his arms over his chest as he stared at her. "You have a funny way of showing that you don't want to be like him. Elena I had to save that girl you attacked the other night. Damon isn't around to cover your tracks when you get your cravings anymore. I've been left to clean up your messes." Elena cried at the realization that he had found out about her late night activities. Damon had told her she should go out and hunt whenever she wanted so she saw no harm in what she was doing. The real Elena the one she used to know, the one Stefan knew would never want to bring any harm to anyone. "How many more of your messes do I have to clean up?" Stefan couldn't help but to be honest with her even if it brought on more tears. He felt good knowing that she was feeling something. Damon could shape her life and thoughts on what's right and what's wrong but he cannot bury the real emotions that connected her to humanity. Stefan knew there was a girl inside of there that still craved her human life. He knew it because he himself still craved to be human. "Elena I'm not sure why you came here tonight. Damon wouldn't approve of this and you know it. I don't know how to make it clear to the both of you that I don't want anything to do with either of you anymore. I cannot do it anymore Elena. I cannot watch you love my brother while I still love you. While the human Elena is in love with me. So do us all a favor Elena and go be with Damon. You said it yourself you are in love with him and you think it's not the sire bond."
Stefan felt his own set of tears coming on. He didn't want to hurt her with his words but he couldn't be near her right now.
"Stefan I don't want to be like that anymore. I want to be the girl who loves you. The girl that you love."
"I think she left the moment you drank Damon's blood. My Elena would never do that." Stefan hissed.
Elena nodded. "You're right." She didn't know what to do. She wasn't so sure she even knew why she was standing at his door tonight seeking his forgiveness. "I want to break the sire bond."
Stefan knew she did just as much as everyone else did. "Is it really the sire bond that has you drawn to him?"
"Honestly?" Elena asked him and he nodded. "I don't know." She said as she watched his facial expression soften. "He asked me to come to him tonight."
"I don't want to hear it." Stefan said as he turned his back on her and walked into the boarding house. He searched the room for his glass and picked it up filling it once more. He looked at Elena and she nodded. He poured her one as well. He watched her as she threw back the glass like it was nothing getting another one. Stefan had only seen her drink from time to time. He had never experienced this side of her as a vampire. After her fourth she looked at him with a pleading look. One that he wasn't sure he could deny.
"I need your help."
Stefan stared at her with an intensity that made her shiver. It was something that she wasn't used to. Damon could never make her feel that way with just a look. But then again he could make her feel a lot of things that she wasn't sure of and that's what scared her about the whole situation. She was in love with both brothers and it was sickening to her to realize it and be just what Katherine said she would be. Elena could not be that girl any longer. She had to make a choice and she did before she died.
"I chose you Stefan." She quietly reminded him.
"I didn't forget our love overnight like you." He said with venom in his voice.
Elena was hurt by his words but she stood her ground no less walking closer to him. "I chose you that night I died. I chose to come back to Mystic Falls and be with you and never think twice about Damon. I know you did not want this life for me and I know that you think this all somehow your fault for not saving me that day, but it's not. Somehow in a way this is no one fault. Stefan I love you because you let me make my own choices. i love you because when I'm with you I feel complete again like I did when my parents were alive. You have been my rock through it all and you have been my reason to keep fighting." Stefan closed his eyes as she placed her hand on his cheek. He had no felt her touch in so long. "You told me to fight." She whispered.
"I fought for you Elena." He said back to her opening his eyes to stare deeply into hers. "Each day that you were growing closer to Damon developing those feelings for him I was with Klaus fighting for you. Fighting for us so you could live your life the way a girl should. I fought so that I could one day return and be with you."
Elena felt a tear roll down his cheek and she gently wiped it away. "I know you did." He looked at her with a look that was begging her to not do this to him. To just stop breaking his heart. "I never meant to fall for Damon but I did. He was there when I needed someone. I never felt for him what I felt for you though. He knew that and he still knows that Stefan. This is all so messed up and I just want out. I want my life back." She grabbed his face in her hands and made him look her in the eyes. "It's our turn to fight together for us." She told him. "I love you Stefan always, you and me."
Stefan let the tears fall as he pulled her into his embrace. He cried into her hair as he held her close. She too could not control her emotions as the tears began to fall for her as well. The two stood in that embrace for almost an hour just crying. Stefan didn't know what his next move would be but if she was willing to fight for their relationship then so would he.
"What about Damon?" Stefan asked finally pulling back.
Elena went and sat on the couch as Stefan stayed leaned against the scotch table. "I don't know. All I know is that tonight I didn't listen to him." Stefan looked at her questioningly wanting her to continue. "After he asked me to come to him I got in my car and started out for the lake house but then all my emotions and memories came flooded back to me and I felt lost. I stopped the car and drove around for hours. Stefan it physically hurt me to not go to him as he asked. It took every bit of strength I had to come to you tonight."
"That must explain the million missed phone calls from Jeremy and him." Stefan said. "Does it still hurt?"
Elena shook her head. "Not anymore."
Stefan nodded trying to take it all in. "How did you deny him?" He asked allowed not really expecting an answer back. Stefan sipped his scotch as he picked up Elena's glass handing it to her. He gave her a soft smile. One that warmed her heart.
"Take me away from here."
"Elena your family is here, your friends. It would be insane to leave. What about Jeremy? Caroline, Bonnie?" Stefan sat down beside her.
"I have all I need right here." She told him. Stefan couldn't believe his ears. He reached out for her hand needing some sort of contact with her but he was scared to get too close so soon. "We can leave and never come back." Elena said with hope.
"I'd really like nothing more than to take you away from here Elena but we cannot run from the reality of what's taking place."
"Can we just leave until they find a cure for the sire bond? You and I will travel the world until they figure it out. Stefan I need this life with you. I need to experience being with you. I will fight this sire bond."
"Say I take you away from it all and we are half way across the globe and you realize that you can't stay away from Damon. I don't think my heart could take the heart ache again." Stefan confessed to her. Elena squeezed his hand reassuringly.
"Be with me Stefan and show me the world through your eyes. I want to be with you. I can't promise you anything because the sire bond is strong but my love for you can outfight it. I'll do anything to be with you."
Stefan stood up and held out his hand. Elena smiled from ear to ear bringing a smile to Stefan's face as she placed her hand in his. Stefan led them out of the house and into his car. He cranked the car and started out of the drive way. As they drove the streets of Mystic Falls he took Elena's had and brought it to his lips. He didn't know what the future held for them but right now in this moment he knew he had to fight for her. He had to do this for them and more importantly he had to be selfish and do this for himself. He needed this getaway with her just as much as she needed it.
