It feels like it's been a long time since I posted anything. Sorry. Hope you like this. :)
'We're never going to get back, are we?'
When Sunny had said it, her elder siblings had denied it. Okay, so maybe they shouldn't have gone this long without seeing even a hint of land, but that would be rectified soon enough. They couldn't sail forever. What they needed, Violet had thought to herself, was a cartographer. But she couldn't bring herself to say that aloud. No, it would all be fine; soon enough, they would find themselves back on dry land.
Though Sunny had seen more terrible things than one of that age ever should, she accepted the word of her siblings without hesitation. After all, why would they lie? As darkness began to fall, the youngest Baudelaire had fallen into a distant sleep, dreams of starlight flashing before her closed eyelids.
But when Klaus had said it, things had been different. Sunny and Beatrice had both been asleep. Inky black night had fallen. Thick clouds had confined the stars to Sunny's dreamworld. And with no one there to back her up, Violet hadn't been able to tell the lies again.
'There's always hope.' She had whispered back to him, but in her eyes he had seen the truth.
'How bad is it?' This time, she had had to lie. A long, long time ago, her parents had told her to protect her siblings, and she had to protect her younger brother from this.
'The supplies are getting lower. We'll be okay for now, but –we can't last much longer.' He hadn't noticed that she hadn't specified how long 'much longer' was. But then, he hadn't noticed much recently. He hadn't noticed how little his elder sister had been eating, in order to give the others more. He hadn't noticed how few blankets she had at night, in order to keep the others warmer. And he hadn't noticed the amount of time she'd spent 'on guard', in order to protect the others.
'How did we go so wrong?' Is the thought that keeps playing on his mind.
'It was probably lots of things, Klaus. Some of my inventions probably weren't good enough. Maybe the wind changed, just a fraction of an inch.'
'A fraction of an inch couldn't result in this!' His voice had risen, and Violet had shot a worried look to where Sunny and Beatrice slept. Rubbing a weary hand across her eyes, she had told him that she knew.
'But the weather is the one thing none of us can control. And I wanted to think that it wasn't my fault.'
Another day, he would have made sure she knew it wasn't. But not today. Today, all he had wanted was for Violet to lie to him just as they had lied to Sunny. Perhaps it had been unfair of him, to think so little of his sister's feelings, but their time on The Beatrice had taken its toll on them all.
Today, all he had wanted was to feel safe; to be assured that land wasn't far away; that all would be well. He hadn't wanted to see this, the truth, and he hadn't wanted to have to accept it.
Today, the tears which he had held back so bravely for so long had begun to fall. Faster and faster, until the sobs had racked through him, and it had been all Violet could do to just hold on to him and try and share his grief.
The night had still been dark when he'd fallen asleep against her chest. But then, the night was still dark now. Even after she'd pulled blankets over her brother, and had seen to Beatrice when she awoke. Even after she'd sung the child back into dreams; sung the child a song permeated with fragments of memories from a time long ago.
She felt her parents with her then. Or maybe that too was a memory from a time long since passed. Because although she felt her mother's arms hugging her, although she heard her father's comforting words, when she came back, slowly, to reality, she was all alone. Completely and utterly alone.
There were no pinpricks of light in the dark sky now. Even Sunny's dreams had taken her to cloudier places. And Violet sat, silently, watching the endless blackness. There was no one here to spot her tears, no one to gather her into their arms and soothe her. But there should have been. The hierarchy of comfort ought never to have been broken like this. She ought to have had a mother, and a father, or at least a guardian who truly, truly cared. She ought to at least have someone to turn to, someone to share her burdens with. But she didn't, and her mother and father were gone, and no one who cared seemed to live. And it seemed like nothing could be done about it. So the eldest Baudelaire wept, and longed for the feeling of a hand on her shoulder, and searched the night for even the tiniest speck of light.
She had still been searching when she had fallen asleep. Both emotionally and physically, the girl had been exhausted. Nothing interrupted her blissful unconsciousness - not the sudden change in the weather, not the crunch that signified the union of the boat and a rock. Not the lapping of water where it shouldn't have been, or the approach of what appeared to be a giant question mark.
No, in her dreams, Violet was at peace. And not even the Great Unknown was going to change that.
All feedback appreciated! Apologies if there are any errors; the two people who I'd let beta for ASoUE stuff are both on holiday. How very inconsiderate of them. :P Haha, Tabs and Beth, I miss you both! You'd better be having a great time!
~ Em
=)
