Author: Tez-Taylor

Crack story that I (Tez) was forced to write by my friend. Only took an hour and a half to write it. There are probably typos everywhere in it. She told me to use Shinichi, Eisuke, and Kid all in one story and this is what I pulled out of my ass.

Disclaimer: DC belongs to Gosho Aoyama

Warning: CRACK, extreme OOCness, and some foul language.

This is in no way a great piece of writing, and I really don't care : D

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"We have finally met at last..." said the Kaitou Kid staring of his rival, Shinichi Kudo.

"Actually, we've met before," said Shinichi sarcastically.

"Umm..." said Kid feeling a bit stupid, "That's what I meant... Now, you here to stop me?"

They were both standing on the roof of an apartment complex.

"Of course I am," said Shinichi staring off the thief.

"How do you plan to, my detective friend?" said Kid smugly.

"I have a secret weapon this time!" said Shinichi whistling towards the door.

The door opened to reveal a new person. It was a young teenage boy...or girl...Kid wasn't sure on that. It wore a large pair of round glasses and had eyes fairly similar to the eyes of Rena, the TV announcer Kid liked very much. The teen also had a black pixie hair cut and a grin on his face.

"Reporting for duty, Shinichi!" said the teen giving a salute.

"What is this?" Kid asked confused.

"This, is my secret weapon," said Shinichi with a wide grin.

"I don't get it..." said Kid getting closer to the teen.

"This is Eisuke..." said Shinichi finally introducing the teen.

"So...it's a boy?" asked Kid still examining the teen to make sure.

"Yes..." said Shinichi with an evil grin, "And he's your worse nightmare!"

"How so?" asked Kid not seeing anything scary about the boy.

Just then, Kid noticed that Eisuke was hiding something behind his back. Kid jumped back seeing the possible threat and held his prized card gun at ready.

"Put your hands up, you Shemale!" shouted Kid aiming the card gun at Eisuke's head.

"Fine by me..." said Eisuke, "Shinichi, you might want to get to safety for this battle, it could get messy..."

"Okie dokie!" said Shinichi gladly moving further away from the two.

"I said put your hands up!" said Kid louder.

Eisuke complied on this one. He pulled his hand from behind his back to reveal a gun of his very own. However, it didn't look like a real gun, more like Kid's card gun.

"What is that?" Kid asked lowering his card gun a bit.

"This?" asked Eisuke holding up his gun, "Why, it's just something I made to combat you!"

Eisuke then aimed the gun at Kid's head. Kid, seeing the danger, jumped out of the way just as Eisuke fired the gun.

Kid just barely got out of the way. Whatever the gun fired missed him and hit the wall behind him. Kid turned around quickly to see what was fired.

"Are those..." Kid started scared, "Are those scissors?!"

"Yes!" Eisuke said giving a small laugh, "After all, Scissors beat Paper, isn't that right, Mr. Card Gun?"

Kid then saw the larger danger in this. Unlike his cards, scissors can actually cause some damage.

Kid tried to defend himself by firing cards at Eisuke. Eisuke seemed to be more nimble than previously though, for he dodged every card.

Eisuke fought back with scissors, all which Kid barely dodged.

"Dude!" Kid said panicked, "This isn't fair!"

"Then give us back the gem you stole!" Eisuke said firing another pair of scissors at Kid.

"It's my gem!" Kid shouted dodging the scissors, "I stole it fair and square!"

"Then I'll just have to keep firing scissors at ya!" shouted Eisuke shooting more from his gun. Eisuke seemed to be enjoying this fight.

Kid tried his best to keep dodging the scissors, but a few started to nick his arms and legs.

'Any longer with this kid and I'll be dead,' Kid realized to himself.

Kid decided to go with plan B, escape using the hand glider. Kid ran to the side of the building still dodging the flying scissors. He then jumped off the side while getting hit with one more pair and he engaged his glider.

Shinichi and Eisuke ran to the side of the building to see where Kid was flying to.

"Damn..." Shinichi started watching the Kid fly away, "We lost him..."

Eisuke wasn't about to let the Kid get away. He started firing more scissors at Kid's glider to try and disable it.

"Woah! What're you doing?!" Shinichi shouted trying to disable Eisuke's gun.

"We let him go now and we'll never catch him!" Eisuke shouted trying to fight Shinichi off.

"You keep firing and we'll kill him!" Shinichi shouted finally taking the scissor gun away for the trigger happy Eisuke.

However, the damage was already done. Kid's hand glider was so full of holes from the scissors he had to make an emergency landing. He landed in a room of a near by apartment complex.

Shinichi and Eisuke saw this and ran towards the door to try and take the elevator down.

Kid disengaged his hand glider and tried to be quite as he tried to make his way to the door of the apartment.

'How odd... This apartment seems familiar some how...' Kid thought to himself.

Just then, the lights were turned on by someone in the apartment and Kid was exposed. It was Nakamouri, in only a pair of boxers and was holding a glass of water rubbing his eyes.

"What the hell?!" Nakamouri shouted seeing Kid in his living room.

'Oh shit!' Kid thought to himself, 'No wonder it looked familiar! It's Aoko's apartment!'

"So, Kid!" Nakamouri shouted, "Here to steal from my house now? Or are you here to have your way with my daughter!?"

"I wouldn't mind the second one!" said Kid sarcastically, but he was slightly telling the truth, "But I'm here by accident, I shall be leaving soon!"

"Oh no you don't!" said Nakamouri making a grab for Kid.

Kid expected this action and did a quick disappearing act out of Nakamouri's arms reappearing next to the front door.

"It's been great playing with you, Nakamouri, but I must take my leave now!"

"Dad..." Aoko entered the room, "What's going on?"

'Oh shit!' Kid thought to himself again.

"Dad!? Is that Kid?!" Aoko asked panicked.

"Yes!" Nakamouri said getting to his feet.

"I'll get him, Dad!" Aoko said leaving the room and coming back with a mop, Kid's second worse enemy, other than scissors.

"Well, nice talking with ya! Got to go now!" Kid said opening the door and running out.

"There he is!" shouted a familiar voice behind him. Kid looked down the hallway only to see Shinichi and Eisuke running towards him.

Kid looked into the apartment again to see if that was safer than being out with the scissor gun, but it wasn't. Aoko was charging at Kid swinging the mop like crazy.

'What do I do?!' Kid thought to himself. Kid saw no safe way out.

But then he got an idea. He quickly ran in the opposite direction Eisuke and Shinichi were charging him and towards the stairs.

Kid planned to take off his disguise on the stairs and hid in a nearby bathroom, but then he made the mistake to trip down the stairs.

Kid fell down the first flight of stairs and landed hurt on the landing. He saw Eisuke and Aoko at the top of the stairs and panicked.

Kid tried getting up and running, but his body was now hurt from both the fall and the scissors. Kid was trapped yet again.

Eisuke then started to shoot more scissors at Kid, but he was lucky enough to dodge them.

Kid used a quick smoke bomb to escape their looks. Kid ran down the rest of the stairs to the next floor. He knew that it wouldn't be long before they found him however, he was dripping blood all over the place.

Kid quickly ran to the bathroom to try and change clothes and wash off the blood. After he changed to his normal self, Kaito Kuroba, he heard foot steps outside.

Kaito quickly ran into one of the stalls and locked the door.

Someone entered the bathroom. Kaito saw the shoes and knew it was the Shemale. He panicked as the shoes got closer to his stall.

Just then, Kaito smelled something funny outside the stall. He also noticed his eyes were getting droopy.

'Sleeping gas?!' Kaito realized as he fell down opening the door. Last thing he saw was Eisuke in a gas mask smiling before him.

***

Kaito woke up on a bed with his arms tied to the bed.

"What the hell is going on here?!" Kaito shouted trying to get his arms free.

"Good evening, Kid!" said a voice in another room. Eisuke walked out of a dark corner with an evil smile on his face.

"What's going on here?!" Kaito shouted scared.

"Oh, we're just going to play a game or two!" Eisuke responded with an even wider grin.

Just then, Kaito noticed the Eisuke was hiding something behind his back.

"Not the scissors again!" Kaito pleaded still trying to get free.

"No, no..." Eisuke answered calmly, "This game is much much more fun than that one!"

Kaito started to sweat. He feared what the Shemale had in store for him.

Just then, Eisuke pulled out what he had behind his back and shoved it into Kaito's face. Kaito closed his eyes expecting the worse.

After a few seconds of nothing happening, he opened his eyes.

"Candy land?" Kaito asked when he saw the game box held in front of him.

"Yes!" Eisuke said happily, "Ever since my sister ran away, I haven't had anyone to play with! So you're going to play with me!"

"Umm..." Kaito was surprised by the request, "Sure..."

"Oh, thank you so much! This is my favorite board game ever!" Eisuke said cheerfully.

For the rest of the night, they played several games of Candy Land. Then in the morning, Eisuke let Kid go free and Eisuke went home satisfied.

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(Tez) Yes, yes. Lots of typos and things that don't make sense. I'm aware of that.

RR please, whatever that means. I don't know much about FF xD