Welcome to my life.
Hi. I'm Shane Gray. Currently, I'm 20 years old. I'm a musician, from New Jersey, in a band called "2 Minute Glory." We play the type of music that's emo, always screaming, talking about killing yourself and all that kind of stuff. I have a girlfriend named Laura, who's the type of girl that actually listens to the type of music our band produces. She wears leather skirts and fishnet stockings and giggling is considered a crime in her mind. I'm a straight-D student in school, because basically I don't care. You don't need to know anything about Science, Math, English, Social Studies, Grammar…whatever… to be a musician. Whether I get good grades or not won't affect my music career.
I know what you're thinking. I'm some messed up, misguided drunken teenager that smokes unknown substances and only cares about having sex with girls. Well, you're somewhat right. I wasn't always like this though. I used to be the type of guy who listened to anything but the type of music I listen to now. I used to like all the new songs that played on the radio, including some rock songs but nothing near as violent as now. I actually compared myself to one of those Jonas Brothers, but I feel that after everything I have gone through I cannot compare myself to anyone near that level of success. It amazes me how those guys can stay on the right track in life with all their fame when a nobody like me can't even stay sane.
Also, I used to be really smart. Always got straight A's in school and had big plans for the future. Not that I'm one to blame things on everyone else, but I do think my parents have something behind this situation. My parents got divorced when I was 17 years old. For about a year and a half before that things were going downhill. They were always fighting, and my dad is an alcoholic. He would always come home drunk and hurt my mom. No one in my entire family cared about me, cared how I felt, or cared what I had to say. I had to survive on my own. I had to learn how to do everything without any guidance, and grow up teaching myself how to take care of my own self and how to get ready every day. It was basically like I didn't even exist.
Not that I blame them in particular, but I blame the situation in itself that makes me who I am. At the age of 16 I joined in this band and my life did a complete 180.
I lived like this for about 4 years. Getting drunk all the time without a care in the world, getting arrested, fooling around with girls without a thought. It took me a good amount of time throughout those 4 years to truly realize what I was doing to myself. I'm pretty much done though. I want my old life back before things started going downhill at home. I want to change my sound, and I want to change my life. I want to do another 180 to get back to where I should be. And I've finally found the courage hidden deep inside of me to do so.
That's where I am now. As we speak, I am on an airplane on my way to the complete other side of the country. I am moving from New Jersey, all the way to California. My parents don't give a crap about what I do, so they probably don't even realize I'm gone. As for friends, I don't really have any. No one was there to congratulate me when I had my high moments, and no one was there to comfort me through my low moments. Maybe if I did have just one person I could go to, I wouldn't be in this terrible scenario. In case you're wondering, I broke up with my girlfriend Laura. I need someone that cares about me, and I want someone that I care about. I just need someone who will be there for me 24/7, and I want to be there for them too. I want love. I broke up with my band too, and they were pretty pissed off but I need to do what's best for me.
I'm moving to Los Angeles, California. I want to completely change my outlook on music. I want beautiful lyrics that actually mean something and inspire people to do something great with their life and find strength that I am currently searching for. I want to find some friends, find love, find some real gigs, find some money, find some happiness and most of all, find myself. I'm ready to leave all that is behind me way back in Jersey, to never relive again. Although I feel like I am going to be in culture shock when arriving in this strange place, I feel that this is best for me. I'm ready.
Hello, Los Angeles. Here I come.
