"Karkat, what are y9u d9ing in 6ed still? I 6elieve that y9u will find that ten in the m9rning is n9t an accepta6le time f9r a y9ung tr9ll such as y9urself t9 still 6e in 6ed. While this 6ehavi9ur may have 6een slightly m9re accepta6le on 6ef9rus than on Alternia, it was still fr9wned up9n in 9ur s9ciety, and y9u sh9uld 6e well aware..."
You drown out any further lecturing from your pre-scratch ancestor, groan loudly and roll over, to the other side of the human bed (of which you are still confused about Kankri's ownership). Fuck, does your head hurt. The pain isn't exclusive to your head, but you also feel queasy at the stomach and your whole body just generally aches. But your head is the worst. And you're pretty sure that Kankri isn't doing it any favours.
"DO YOU THINK YOU COULD FUCKING SHUT YOUR CLAP TRAP FOR FIVE GRUB FUCKING SECONDS? IN CASE YOU HAVE FAILED TO REALISE, I HAVE ONLY JUST WOKEN UP." You sit up quickly- too quickly, as it almost causes you to vomit.
Kankri jumps off of the edge of the bed where he was perched, and looks somewhat gingerly at you. "My, Karkat, are y9u 9kay? I-I mean, d9 y9u feel 9kay? I-I'm just trying t9 say, umm, y9u d9n't l99k s9 g99d. Y9u're really pale, and, uhh, stuff."
You blink, confused, at Kankri. He sure is using a small amount of words, and fillers, too. Usually, he doesn't use many fillers. He also looks pretty nervous. You don't think you've ever seen him like this, after all, even if he doesn't know much about a topic, he tends to launch straight into a lecture about it anyway, radiating a faux confidence only one who had really gotten to know him would detect. Anybody else would mistake it for actual intellect, unless they either knew about the topic themselves, or simply weren't listening to what he was saying anyway.
You grin slightly, despite the splitting headache. "YOU LOOK A LITTLE WORKED UP, KANKLES." You raise an eyebrow and await a response.
"I... I just... I d9n't want t9 catch it." Kankri looked down at his comically small hands, fingers interlaced. "6eing sick can 6e triggering t9 s9me pe9ple, and it 9nly seems fair that y9u tag y9ur illness—"
"ARE YOU TRIGGERED BY ME BEING SICK?"
"N-N9. N9t triggered, exactly. Just... I d9n't kn9w. Scared, I supp9se."
Confusion clouds your mind. "SCARED?" Your speech is interrupted by a coughing fit, at which Kankri flinched in a way that seemed a little too melodramatic. "WHY WOULD YOU BE SCARED? TROLLS GET SICK ALL THE TIME. BUT THEY GET OVER IT. I CAN THINK OF MANY OTHER REASONS TO BE SCARED RIGHT FUCKING NOW."
Kankri raised one eyebrow, as if pretending to be interested in your contribution to your conversation. Only interested in himself and his voice, you suppose.
You gesture to your surroundings. "OH, I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE A GIANT-ASS FUCKING GREEN TYRANT THAT ROAMS SPACE AND THE UNIVERSE DESTROYING EVERY GRUB SHITTING DREAM BUBBLE AND PLANET HE CAN FUCKING GET NEAR. LORD ENGLISH, THE FINAL BOSS OF THIS SHITTY FUCKING GAME THAT YOU'RE NEVER FUCKING RID OF, EVEN AFTER YOU'RE DEAD." Something about that last sentence seemed a little wrong, but you ignore it, and choose to give in to the glorious, familiar embrace that short lived anger offered you.
"THERE ARE SO MANY FUCKING THINGS THAT YOU COULD BE FUCKING SCARED OF, YOU SELF RIGHTEOUS LITTLE PRICK. YOU COULD BE SCARED FOR YOUR FRIENDS, YOU COULD BE SCARED FOR THE FUTURE OF OUR RACE, YOU COULD BE SCARED OF A PAINFUL AND DRAWN OUT SECOND DEATH. HELL, YOU COULD EVEN BE SCARED FOR MY LIFE, ALTHOUGH I DON'T DESERVE YOUR CONCERN." He glances up, at that last sentence. You assume that you're finally getting through to him. He's finally listening to someone, rather that the sound of his own voice. You go in for the kill, the last hit.
"WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY, YOU BIG HEADED SHIT, IS THAT ILLNESS IS THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES. IF ANYTHING, IT'D GIVE YOU A REASON TO STAY THE FUCK INDOORS ALL DAY, RATHER THAN JUST FLOAT AROUND DREAM BUBBLES ALL THE FUCKING TIME, ANNOYING THE FUCK OUT OF EVERYONE, BEING A PRETENTIOUS TOOL."
Kankri's eyes narrow. Your eyes focus in on his face, and you realise, just now, that his face is red. Like, really red. In fact, you didn't think it was possible for a troll's skin colour to deviate so far from the standard grey, even when blushing through embarrassment or anger. You swear that you saw flames in his eyes for a second.
"I am s9 very s9rry, Karkat," He hisses, his voice just above a whisper, with venom very audible in is tone, "If my fears and ph96ias d9 n9t reach y9ur pers9nal expectati9ns, f9r, y9u see, despite 6eing 9lder and wiser than y9u, 6y far, I live f9r y9ur very appr9val." His voice raises slightly in both pitch and temperament, "Did it n9t 9ccur t9 y9u that perhaps I am afraid 9f 6eing sick 6ecause I have never 6een sick 6ef9re in my life? May6e I am afraid 9f illnesses 6ecause I am unaware 9f what my immune system is like and h9w it w9uld c9pe with even a c9mm9n c9ld. L99K AR9UND Y9U, KARKAT." He gestures to the room around him, which was all white, polished surfaces, spotless. In fact, you wouldn't be sure that this was even his hive from Beforus. It didn't look like a hive. It didn't look lived-in. "D9ES IT L99K LIKE I'D EVER GIVEN MYSELF A CHANCE T9 6E EXP9SED T9 6ACTERIA 9R GERMS? D9 Y9U THINK I HAVE ANY KIND 9F IMMUNE SYSTEM? H9W W9ULD I FARE AGAINST AN UNKN9WN ILLNESS? WHAT D9 Y9U EVEN HAVE? IS IT TR9LL-6ASED, 9R FR9M THE HUMAN CHILDREN THAT Y9U P9ST-SCRATCH TR9LLS ASS9CIATE WITH? IF IT IS FR9M THE CHILDREN, THEN IT IS HIGHLY LIKELY THAT TR9LLS HAD NEVER ENC9UNTERED THIS 6UG BEF9RE. H9W D9 Y9U KN9W THAT AN ALIEN SPECIES, LIKE US, W9ULD EVEN SURVIVE SUCH AN ILLNESS? EVEN IF THIS 6UG WAS C9MM9N WITHIN THE ALTERNIAN S9CIETY, WHAT IS T9 SAY THAT IT EXISTED 9N 6EF9RUS? MAY6E 9UR S9CIETIES' INHA6ITANTS DIFFER WITHIN THAT ASPECT? MAY6E—"
"WILL YOU. JUST. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP." You utter. Your head is now pounding. This is insane. He's dead. Why is he so afraid of illness? Can you still even get sick when you're dead? Man, the afterlife is fucked up. "LOOK. I'M IN A LOT OF PAIN, RIGHT NOW. COULD YOU MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL, AND GET ME A COLD FLANNEL, OR SOMETHING?"
Kankri silently rose and left the room. Finally, quiet. You roll over and try to sleep.
You are awoken, once again, however, not by loud ignorant shit fucks lecturing you while you're still asleep, but rather, Kankri trying to gently place the towel over your forehead. You turn your head to allow him better access. You lower your eyes. "I NEED TO PEE."
"Y9u kn9w where the 6athr99m is, Karkat. H9w many nights have y9u spent here, honestly—" he suddenly stops talking. You suppose he remembered about your headache.
"I- I DON'T THINK I CAN FUCKING STAND ON MY OWN, YOU FUCKING SHIT FACE."
"9h." He looked at you a moment too long before smiling slowly and lifting you up out of the covers and the bed, then leading you to the white glossed door, which, of course, led to a white, polished bathroom. He moves your hands to grip on the towel rail and looked up, towards the ceiling, giving you space. You glace, anxiously, side to side, as a force of habit, before locking eyes with your reflection in the mirror – at least, you would have, if you had any.
"F-F-FUCK-K." You murmur. Clutching at the chrome towel rail, you edge closer to the mirror. Kankri flickers around to look at you, and instantly, his face screws up in concern. "I-I- FUCK." You feel Kankri's minute hands cup your bony shoulders, and you look up to his face, at his equally vacant, cloudy eyes.
"D9 y9u really still n9t remem6er, Karkat?" Kankri softly asked.
"REMEMBER WHAT, FUCKASS?" You snap, defensive. You are scared. Really, really, fucking scared. You don't remember dying. You don't remember being dead. In fact, you don't even remember how you got to Kankri's hive in the first place.
In fact, now that you think about it, things began to make sense. Of course you had to be dead. You wouldn't have woken up in Kankri's bed, under his covers, if you were alive, and simply passing through the dream bubble while you slept. But still, you don't really recall any details of the how, what, who or when.
"H9w a69ut y9u finish up, here, and then we'll g9 6ack t9 the 6edr99m and talk, where y9u can rest." You nod, reluctantly, in return.
