the weed is a flower.
Amakusa Benio is a gracious young woman, though she wouldn't object to being called a gracious young man, though she would, of course, take this to mean that she was like a gracious young man, and not actually one - it is one thing to be likened to a man and another to actually be called one. Men are still barbaric, no matter how you look at them.
She considers herself to be loving and accepting of all maidens, whether they radiate in beauty or shy away from the limelight: she loves them all for who they are, all exquisite flowers, though some have simply not bloomed yet. They are picturesque, the image of innocence, the vision of refinement -
And then there are men. Vulgar, debased, awful and more, they ruin the daintiness, the delicacy of women. They do not deserve to even be in the presence of such wonderful flowers. Benio cannot stand them. She sometimes makes exceptions, but those exceptions are few.
And the one man Amakusa Benio hates above all is Suou Tamaki.
-
'Benio-senpai.'
The voice is that of the sweetest flower Benio knows, the voice of a seraph with soft brown hair (though Benio wouldn't know - she has never had the experience of touching that hair, even though her desire to do so is overwhelming) and dreamy brown eyes. The epitome of a young lady.
Fujioka Haruhi greets Benio with a polite smile, and Benio smiles back kindly, though there is pity in her smile. Benio always feels pity when in the company of Haruhi, who has to be around the likes of -
'Haruhi, my darling daughter! What are you doing?'
- the blond idiot who is always fluttering around her, never far behind. Benio likens him to a stalker, a womanising lady killer. No ladies will be killed when Benio is nearby, Benio has long ago decided, and she steps closer to Haruhi, wrapping an arm around her protectively.
Haruhi does not struggle, limp in Benio's hold like a child's doll. Benio imagines that Haruhi wishes for Benio to save her from this troublesome man, and Benio will do exactly that.
'She doesn't want to talk to the likes of you,' Benio says with a sniff. 'You foul creature.'
Suou visibly wilts. 'But I'm her father! Daughter, how could you-'
'You're not her father,' Benio continues, each of her words vicious, intent on stabbing Suou deeply with each and every syllable. Suou wilts further, like a dying plant. Benio feels quite a large amount of pleasure when she sees this, and she smiles vindictively. 'How dare you impose such a grievance on this poor girl?' She hugs Haruhi a bit more tightly, fearing that the blond twat might be contagious
But then Haruhi speaks.
'Tamaki-senpai,' she starts, and how wretched it is to hear his name come out of her mouth! 'Benio-senpai, I have to leave.'
Benio, unable to refuse Haruhi (she can never refuse Haruhi), lets her arm fall to her side, and Haruhi leaves, so only Benio and Suou are left in the empty hallway, so devoid of life without the vibrancy of the fair maiden.
'You shouldn't be allowed near Haruhi, you womaniser,' Benio informs Suou, who is beyond wilting now - he slumps to the floor in a histrionic show of despair, and she leaves the Ouran campus, disgusted.
Recently, Benio has been on the Ouran grounds very often.
-
'Where is-'
'She's gone already,' the bespectacled boy immediately says, not even glancing up from his Pineapple laptop. He is rude, as are all men. They have no good virtues.
Nevertheless, Benio does have to speak to them. Only they know where her Haruhi may be - and Haruhi is of course Benio's Haruhi, because who else will take care of such a beautiful flower amidst these weeds and overgrown shrubs? No amount of pruning can ever fix them, but Benio has to make sure that they don't influence Haruhi with their evil ways.
'Where is she?' Benio asks stiffly. She does not like being in the Third Music Room at Ouran Academy: it is not familiar to her, not like her lovely Lobelia, and is full of poor, misguided young women fawning over men. Benio wishes she could save them all, but Haruhi is of highest priority.
Haruhi is always of highest priority.
Kyouya does not say anything, and continues typing. Benio turns to another Host for an answer, and rests her eyes on a diminutive bunny-carrying third year.
'Haru-chan's out,' he says cheerfully, all the while eating cake. How ill-mannered, eating whilst talking - it is a wonder that Haruhi is still as breathtaking as she is, even though she is surrounded by such awful influences day in day out. 'Beni-kun, do you want to eat cake?' Hunny proffers the platter, but Benio shakes her head with a sniff.
'I will wait,' Benio decides aloud, even though it means that she will have to bear with the company of the Host Club. 'Haruhi will return later, yes?'
Hunny nods, smiling. 'She'll be back as soon as she wants to be,' he replies in the same cheerful manner, but Benio cannot help but think that she is missing something, after seeing the amused look in his eyes.
But before she can ponder this further, the door of the Third Music Room opens, and in comes Benio's princess.
It is worth waiting with the Host Club, just for this.
-
'Benibara-sama, your lunch.' A girl offers up a beautifully made bento, though Benio can't see it, since it is in its case, but Benio is sure it is delicious, as all the bentos made previously have been. But Benio can't help but think that a certain other girl's cooking would be better.
'Benibara-sama, you're not listening!'
The girl is distraught, a pout on her face. Benio thinks distractedly that the distress makes her look remarkably cute, but that sort of pout would look even cuter on Haruhi's face.
'Benibara-sama,' the girl says, 'I made this lunch for you!' Benio nods, and shakes her head. She has to get her mind back to the here and now.
'Thank you, Haruhi,' Benio says with a genial smile, and the girl's eyes get watery, and then she full-out starts crying, and only then does Benio realise what she just said. She is not sure why Haruhi came out instead of the name of the girl - it's probably because she was just thinking about Haruhi. Before Benio can explain herself, the girl runs off, but not before putting the bento down on the table beside her.
'Benibara-senpai...'
'Yes, Suzuran?' Benio knows the girl's voice without turning around, but she does so anyway, and in this way she sees the frowning visage of Maihara Chizuru. It is not often that Suzuran frowns, and it is not a pleasant feeling to be the person receiving it, Benio thinks.
'You should stop visiting Ouran,' she says in a gentle voice, but her words feel like a knife in Benio's gut.
'What do you mean?' Benio asks, hands clenched. Suzuran smiles faintly, though it is a sad smile.
'Haruhi is happy where she is,' Suzuran states simply, and before Benio can ask anything, demand to know what Suzuran means, Hinagiku pops up, sunshiny and happy and not at all whom Benio wants to see at the moment.
'Let's eat our lunches!' she says cheerily, waving her own bento about. 'Aw, Benibara-senpai, yours is nicer than mine, as usual,' she adds, after opening Benio's bento for a sneak peek.
'Let's eat,' Benio repeats, and she leaves the room, Hinagiku following her closely, but Suzuran a little ways behind.
-
'Haruhi!' Benio exclaims, surprised to see the girl out of her usual boyish uniform. And what a sight to behold she is, her dress a pure white that would befit an angel. She might as well be an angel, Benio thinks, with the glint of light reflecting off her hair almost like a halo.
'Benio-senpai,' Haruhi greets politely, waving slightly at the older woman. Benio's heart leaps at this small gesture, and somewhere in her subconscious mind she wonders if this is how the Benibara club members feel when she waves at them too.
'What are you doing out here?' Benio asks, curious. Haruhi is standing next to a theatre, which is surprising. Benio does not think that Haruhi is a lover of things thespian, but here she is, outside a theatre and looking as if she is waiting for something.
Haruhi smiles. 'Waiting for a friend,' she replies, and Benio's mood immediately darkens. No doubt this friend is one of the vile, barbaric - 'Not from the Host Club,' Haruhi appends, and Benio's mood lightens again, though now she is more curious. Who can Haruhi's friend be? Perhaps a girl friend from her junior high school days?
'Do you want me to wait with you?' Benio suggests, thinking and hoping that Haruhi might want some company, but Haruhi shakes her head. She tugs on her white sundress, and Benio wants to smile as Haruhi makes wrinkles in the cloth that Benio is sure Haruhi does not care that she's making.
Haruhi replies quickly, 'I'm sure you have other things to do, Benio-senpai. My friend will be here soon anyway.' Benio takes this to be a dismissal and feels rather rejected. So rejected that when she is leaving, she does not take a glance back.
If she had glanced back, she would have seen Haruhi's hooded companion arrive.
-
'Benibara-senpai, what do you want to do tomorrow?'
Benio looks at Hinagiku, questioning. 'What do you mean?'
'We don't have any club activities tomorrow,' Hinagiku reminds Benio, grinning. 'Since it's a holiday and the school's closing right at the end of the day. Where should we go?'
The first place that comes to Benio's mind is none other than Ouran. Immediately, plans start forming in her head: ways to save the damsel in distress, strategies to help the Zuka Club defeat the Host Club, plots to bring the lovely flower in disguise to safety...
'Not Ouran,' Suzuran says, and both Hinagiku and Benio say 'What?' and 'Pardon?' respectively.
'Why not?' Hinagiku adds, looking puzzled as she eats her cake. 'I want to see Haruhi-chan!'
Benio is not sure why Hinagiku's exclamation bothers her, but it does. Nonetheless, Suzuran's reply bothers her more, so she turns her attention to Suzuran first. 'Why don't you want to go?' Benio questions, and suggests, 'Isn't a foray to Ouran a good idea? The Zuka Club is morally bound to protect girls from harm, and-'
'Benibara-senpai,' Suzuran cuts in, and Benio doesn't say anything, too surprised at this. Suzuran is almost always gentle and kind, and she does not understand why Suzuran would be so impolite as to interrupt. 'Let's not go. Why don't we go watch a play together?'
Suzuran's words remind Benio of her chance meeting with Haruhi, and she readily agrees - she'd love to go see a play together, they haven't gone in a while - and the long-haired young woman's face is lit up with a pleasant smile. Benio is pleased that whatever caused Suzuran's momentary rudeness had passed, since Suzuran is smiling again and that means that everything is fine.
Benio is just hoping that perhaps she'll get to see Haruhi again, if she goes to the theatre.
-
'Could we have an interview with you, Benibara-sama?'
Benio isn't surprised, really, that she is being interviewed - the newspaper team of the fan club does this once a year for its Zuka Club magazine, always filled with the latest news about upcoming concerts and such. 'Of course,' Benio replies with a wide smile. 'Anything for my darling fans.' The girl in front of her flushes and then begins to stutter out questions.
The questions are the usual, and Benio responds automatically - she knows what to say; she has always said the same things, except with different words, different phrasings - not to be rude, but because her answers truly have not changed. The interview drags on, and Benio has since lost count of the number of questions she has answered. But then she stumbles.
The girl asks a question, and Benio opens her mouth to answer, only to find herself speechless. She closes her mouth again, trying to capture her thoughts, but the question has left her in a strange state of mind.
'What?' she splutters, looking at her interviewer strangely.
'There must be somebody you l-like, right?' the girl asks hesitantly, startled by Benio's crude response. They ask the same questions every year, and this question is nothing new. Benio has always said some variant of 'I love you all' or 'How can I decide?' and made the interviewer blush scarlet.
But Benio has faltered. That in itself is alarming. She apologises - 'I am not feeling too well' - and excuses herself - 'I hope you do not mind - may you continue this interview later?' - fleeing the scene of the crime.
Only when she is off the campus, slightly out of breath from the running, does Benio finally acknowledge something that explains everything. She runs through the criteria through her head:
Haruhi is more beautiful than anybody else to her.
Seeing the blond nitwit around her causes Benio great pain.
Benio cannot help but run to Haruhi whenever she can.
The list of criteria goes on and on, but the final criterion is blatant proof:
There is always that flutter in her heart that makes her feel like her breath was stolen from her, when Haruhi smiles at her.
And this is the verdict: Amakusa Benio is in love with Fujioka Haruhi.
She must be. The numbers add up, though Benio is loath to admit it - she has never been fond of numbers; they objectify things and are useless in things like friendship, like love - and the equation is simple.
What to do with the equation now is the problem.
-
'Haruhi!' Still out of breath, Benio has arrived at the Ouran grounds. She does not know how she got here - she could not have run all the way, but she does not remember taking any form of transportation - but all she knows is that she is in the courtyard and Haruhi is in the courtyard so all is well. Even so, her cheeks are a faint shade of pink, because of both the running and the sight before her.
Haruhi is not bedecked in her male Ouran uniform, but instead in beautiful Victorian dress. The cuffs on her sleeve are folded just so and are an off-white that complement the purple of her suit. The ruffles on her shirt only ameliorate her overall appearance and as usual, Haruhi is dazzling, a small smile on her face as she waves at Benio, though she looks surprised to see her there.
'Benio-senpai,' she says politely, 'how are you?'
'Is the Host Club dressing you up again?' Benio says in distaste - even with her recent epiphany, the antics of the Host Club disgust her. 'Disguising your beautiful form in the clothes of men. It suits you well, but-'
'Benio-senpai,' Haruhi interrupts, and it is Benio's turn to be surprised, 'I have to go. Suou-senpai will be looking for me soon - Kyouya-senpai won't be able to deter him for long.'
Benio blinks. 'Pardon?' She gives Haruhi's outfit a cursory glance-over again, unsure of where her flower could be going in such clothes.
Haruhi continues to smile, though it is now a bit strained. 'I do have to go, Benio-senpai, and-'
'Haruhiiiiii! Why did you leave me?'
Suou Tamaki has arrived, and Benio takes a moment to give him a scathing glare before returning her attention to Haruhi.
However, she is nowhere to be seen.
'I have to go get her!' Suou wails, despondent.
It takes Benio a second to swallow her pride, but then she requests frankly, 'Please take me with you,' and Suou agrees immediately, with a spark in his eyes that implies that he commiserates with her.
Benio feels as if she has failed.
-
'Ah, look, there she is!' Suou's voice is exuberant as he points a figure only a few metres away, making Benio want to cringe in repulsion and embarrassment - why does she have to be walking next to this - this repugnant being?
This repugnant being that drove her around town frantically looking for his supposed daughter. Why, of all people, did she have to seek help from him?
Apparently Suou's voice carries, and Haruhi whips around, her short brown hair spinning around with her. She looks as perfect as ever, and perhaps even more so - though she has a politely surprised countenance, her eyes are more beautiful than they have ever been in the gentle sunlight.
But then Benio discovers the reason for this overwhelming beauty, her eyes trailing from Haruhi's bare right shoulder down to her hand.
Which is clasping another hand. Benio's horror grows as her eyes trail back up to the face of -
'Nekozawa?!' Suou screeches. 'B-but - what-'
Benio would normally take this opportunity to mock Suou for his idiocy, but she is just as shocked as he is. 'Haruhi?' she says quietly, staring hard at this impossible image in front of her. Why is Haruhi holding hands with a man? What is Haruhi doing with him alone? Why?
Why now?
Haruhi smiles, and beautiful as it is, it is painful for Benio to see - it is clear what the cause of her happiness is (why is it not Benio?) and Benio cannot bear to look any longer. 'Tamaki-senpai, Benio-senpai,' Haruhi starts, and Benio does not cringe at all upon hearing Suou's name leave Haruhi's lips, so shell-shocked she is, 'this is Nekozawa Umehito - Tamaki-senpai already knows though. I'm dating him.'
Her words are to the point, like a quick sword wound to the heart. Haruhi is not done yet though. 'Would you like to come along?' she offers courteously. 'We're going to watch a play. Nekozawa gets free tickets from the theatre because he frequents it.'
'No, it's fine,' Benio manages to say, though she isn't sure how, and she turns around, wanting to go anywhere but here.
However, Suou does not move, his face pale and mouth open as he stares openly at the couple.
'Suou, we should leave,' Benio urges, feeling that the favour has to be returned - she cannot let him stay here and intrude on Haruhi's happiness.
Suou does not make a move, still staring.
'Suou!' Benio says again, placing her hand on Suou's shoulder and shaking it. She does not even wince as she does so. 'Let us leave.' At this, the blond starts automatically, limbs moving forward but his mind not as Benio walks with him away, away from it all.
-
'Why him?'
Suou's voice is hollow, full of none of the raw emotion that it had such an abundance of before.
Benio simply echoes him. 'Why him indeed.'
Benio has a feeling that the man knows what is running through her mind at the moment because she thinks that in his mind is the exact same thought.
Why not me?
The two are sitting in Suou's limousine. The driver is taking them somewhere, Suou having said something or another to him, but Benio does not know exactly where. She has other things to think about.
There is silence in the limousine, neither of the occupants knowing what to say. As the limousine slows to a stop, Benio stares out the window.
Lobelia Girls' Academy.
'Thank you, Suou,' Benio says stiffly. The driver has already left the limousine and opened the door for her. Even in her distressed state she steps out gracefully.
Suou says nothing. The driver closes the door. Benio stands still.
'Wait!'
Her exclamation surprises even her - she had not meant to speak. But the window of the limousine rolls down anyway, and she bends down so that she can peer inside.
'I'm sorry,' she says, and she says simply that. There is no need for her to explain what she is apologising for; she is sure that Suou can understand. She is sorry for all that has happened: Haruhi, that other man, and how she has treated him.
Because he did not deserve her scorn when she acted in exactly the same manner, though she had not realised it at first.
Suou smiles back, a wry smile that does not befit him. 'It's okay,' he says in a tone that is far more cheerful than his expression. 'I'll see you around.' It is more of a question than a statement, and the window rolls up and the limousine disappears around the corner.
And Benio continues to stand, staring at something that is no longer there, and thinks to herself that Suou and she are very alike.
or is it the other way around?
