Yeah, yeah, crazy as the day is long, thats me. Enjoy!
July 21st and 22nd
I'd had a lot of 'well fuck me' moments in life, more and more lately but I think this one took the cake. I'd just thrown up on Tank during the morning meeting. But even that wasn't really the 'well fuck me' moment, just what had led to it.
I walked unsteadily to the bathroom and locked the door, leaving Tank and the rest of the guys looking dumb-fucked in the conference room. They looked how I felt. I'd been firmly in denial-land for the past few weeks but I knew I needed to dig my head out of the sand and figure this thing out.
Maybe I wasn't pregnant. Maybe I had typhoid fever or malaria, or even cancer. It could be any of those. No reason to assume the worst. Of course this was me, Stephanie Plum. The worst had a way of sneaking up on me and biting me in the ass. Or sometimes walking up in broad day light and punching me in the face.
I'd like to say that a sense of calm washed over me as I left the bathroom, that I walked out onto five and apologized and went back to work and figure out my life. In reality I walked out, threw up in a wastepaper basket and then ran to my Rangeman car and took off for a CVS that was far enough away from Trenton that hopefully I wouldn't be recognized.
And now the pregnancy tests were staring at me. Mocking me. Okay maybe not mocking. I was confused though. The price range was ridiculous. Anywhere from five to thirty bucks. I grabbed a few different ones and took them to the checkout. I used my Rangeman card after checking to make sure that there was no way anyone could find out what I had purchased. I figured that if Ranger had knocked me up he could at least pay for the tests.
Yeah yeah, it takes two to tango and all of that. I know that. But Ranger knows I'm a lightweight and still bought me a few too many shots. And then the next morning he said he'd made a huge mistake and left. I was still pretty pissed about that. Asshole.
I took the freeway back to Trenton and headed towards Rangeman. I'd moved into a Rangeman apartment a few weeks before, after my building had been flooded by old Mrs. Bestler. The whole building was now condemned. Luckily the Rangeman apartment was bigger and much nicer than my former home, and I'd conned Tank into including rent as part of my benefits package. I parked next to Ranger's Porsche and gave it a dirty look.
I pushed the up button for the elevator and tried to step on when the doors opened but walked into Tank. My bag went flying and pregnancy tests scattered on the elevator floor. I made an eep sound that could've come from Carl the monkey and scrambled to pick them up before the guys manning the comm. station could see what they were. I wasn't fast enough to hide them from Tank who, for the second time today, looked dumbstruck. He got back into the elevator and pushed four. Crap. He was going to come with me. He followed me inside and sat down on a bar stool while I grabbed us some bottles of water.
"Are you pregnant Steph?" Tank asked. He sounded concerned.
"Maybe."
"Joe's?" He made it a question even though he thought he knew the answer.
"No." I watched him carefully as a look of shock passed over his features before his blank face slammed into place. He raised an eye brow at me. "It was a one night thing. I think I'm on my own for this one," I finally said with a sigh. I gave him a sharp look. "You can't tell anyone! I swear to god Tank, if one person finds out about this I'll stun gun you when you're not expecting it and cut off your balls!" Tank had the good sense to look frightened.
"You don't even know if you're pregnant," he said.
I sighed, yeah I did, but I guess I needed to be sure. I grabbed the bags of tests and went into the bathroom. Tank got up and I looked at him, "I think I can do this on my own." He nodded sheepishly and sat back down.
I peed on two of the sticks and sat them on the counter. It had been well over five months since I'd broken up with Joe, if I was pregnant it wasn't his. It had been six weeks since the night with Ranger, and five since he'd left. I checked the time every few seconds and finally the three minutes had passed. I picked up the tests and flipped them over. Two lines on both.
"Fuck. Me." I tossed them in the trash and walked back out to the living room and to the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of tequila and poured a shot. I handed it to Tank. "Drink this for me."
"Sorry Steph…"
"Hey at least I've got really good health insurance, and maternity leave!" I said with a light smile. I wanted to ask badly when Ranger was coming back but I didn't want to tip off Tank. If the guys knew then they'd want him to take responsibility and I didn't want to be Ranger's next Rachael.
Tank stood up, "You need anything?"
"Nope I'm fine," I said and followed him to the door.
He gave me an awkward hug, "If you need anything…"
"I'll let you know. Thanks," I said. He gave a brief nod and walked out.
Denial land was calling and I went willingly enough before crawling into bed. My dreams were about Ranger. Okay so I was mad at him and hurt, but I still loved him, and now it looked like he would be the father of my child. Not that he would know that. Uh uh. I wasn't saddling him with more responsibility that he didn't want.
I woke up at five thinking I'd go back to sleep but my stomach had other ideas so I started my day early. I ate some frosted mini wheats (the healthiest cereal I had) and put on my gym clothes. I called the elevator and fiddled with my iPod. The doors opened and I stepped on without looking.
"Babe."
I dropped my iPod and screamed. Oops. I really needed to stop doing that. "Uh, hi Ranger. When did you uh get back?" I asked. The doors shut and I forgot to push the button to take me to the gym. I guess I was going to seven with Ranger. Eeps.
"Just now. Look, I'm sorry about what happened before I left. I…it was my fault. Can we still be friends?" He asked as he led me into his apartment.
I nodded. What else could I do? "Uh huh. Sure. Friends." I nodded like an idiot again. "So are you back for a while?" I asked as he stripped off his shirt. Wow. Ok. Calm down Steph. He wants to be friends which means you can't jump him.
"Only for a few weeks." He didn't offer more information so I nodded. "So you're working here full time?"
"Yeah…I'm still doing skips for Vinnie on weekends…its really slow right now…" I was wondering if he was going to comment on my outrageous salary or benefits but he didn't say anything as he walked out of his closet in some running shorts and shoes.
"Come on, after this we've got the morning meeting. I've got some important stuff to go over," Ranger said. I followed him out and even took the stairs with him. Tank was waiting in the center of the mats for Ranger and I hopped on the treadmill and watched them spar for a while. They were taking it easy today and I could tell that Ranger was tired.
Oh no, I wasn't about to start feeling for Ranger. I was exhausted and couldn't keep a damn thing down. Of course he's probably spent the last few weeks trekking through a jungle or desert or something. Still I wasn't sure that was worse than having to alternately pee or throw up every twenty minutes.
I was starting to feel tired so I hopped off the treadmill. Ranger stopped to look at me, "You're only going to do twenty minutes?"
"Hey I need more time get presentable then you two!" I took off and ran up the stairs, barely making into my apartment and that bathroom before getting sick again. I got ready and made it downstairs a few minutes before the meeting was supposed to start. Tank was already seated. He eyed me and I stared down at my paper. He was trying to get my attention when Ranger showed up to call the meeting to order.
"Alright, I'm back but only for about three weeks. Which means we have three weeks to teach Steph how to run this place. As of today she is vice president of operations along with Tank. She holds all your jobs in her pretty little hands, so start sucking up now. Any questions?"
I continued doodling on my piece of paper. I didn't have any questions. Ranger was back, yada, yada, yada, I was in charge, yada, yada, "WHAT?" I asked and jerked my head up to look at Ranger.
"Thanks for joining us. I said I'm making you VP. Have a problem with that?" He said.
"Uh…" I said eloquently.
"Okay good. Let's move on." Ranger went over a bunch of stuff for the next half an hour but I was trying to figure out the whole me being VP thing still. Everyone left the room but I snaked an arm around Ranger's waist before he could go. "Yeah babe?"
The 'babe' made my mind go blank and I had to take a second to gather my thoughts, "I can't do that…I don't know how…you should get someone competent," I finally choked out.
"You are competent. More than. I'll teach you everything you need to know before I go to Miami. I'm going to be visiting Julie for a few weeks."
I nodded, "that's good, she misses you." Ranger raised an eyebrow at me. Oops. "We email sometimes…Rachael said it was okay…"
Ranger smiled and nodded, "so please except the position? It comes with a pay raise and everything." Ranger smiled again. It was unnerving.
"You scare me when you're trying to be charming." I was rewarded with an actual Ranger laugh. Cripes.
"Let's get to work," Ranger said. "Time for you to learn Rangeman's innermost secrets."
Too bad you'll still be the man of mystery, I thought.
Worth continuing?
