Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this story. X3
Author's Note: This is my first Human AU Hetalia fanfic, my first really historically set Hetalia fanfic, and my first attempt at angst so please go easy on me. XD (If I had my way, I'd have this story as Family, Angst, Hurt/Comfort.)
Special thanks to Germanic Spazz for inspiring me to write this fanfic and special thanks to Koo Kid for reading parts and editing for me. I really appreciate you guys!
I hope you guys enjoy this story. X3
Here are a few notes to clarify a few things:
(1) I have Ludwig as the older brother in this story. X3 I base it off of the theory that Germany is HRE. So if Germany is HRE, he's technically older than Prussia since HRE was founded several years before Prussia (and the Tetonic Knights) came into existence. Plus I always thought it'd be cute to have Ludwig as the older brother.
(2) My German is a bit rough so please pardon me. I haven't really studied it in awhile so I'm brushing up majorly. I use google translate and my German-English dictionary.
(3) The story begins in 1901 and will later focus on the German Revolution of 1918-1919. I hope I kept (and will keep) things historically accurate. If somethings wrong or off, please let me know! XD I'll correct it right away.
(4) Just thought I'd point out the names I've chosen for some of the characters and why. (Just a quick note, I picked random German States and picked names that I felt fit the states I chose. Well, except Rolf. XD I just picked that name because I liked it (well and that's a nickname of mine heh heh and it's German).
-Dedrich (Vater, Germania) His name means "first of the people; king of nations" which I thought was fitting for Germania.
-Sonje (Mutter) Her name is the German form of the Russian name 'Sonya' which means "wisdom."
-Velten (eldest bruder, Saxony) His name means "healthy, strong."
-Reinhardt (bruder, Thuringia) His name means "brave counsel, strong decision, fox."
-Werner (bruder, Hamburg) His name means "army defender."
-Rolf (bruder, Brandenburg) His name means "wolf."
-Edit Note: I redid one scene and this is the repost. X3 (P.S. I hope you like it, Germanic Spazz!)-
-Edit Note: I added some little changes. Just a heads up to my readers. ^^;;-
For Germanic Spazz
Prologue
Snow fell softly on and around him.
But he could barely feel the soft, wet drops of snow land on his pale skin.
Tears stung the edges of his eyes as he stared up at the dark sky above him.
"Is this the end?" he thought. "Is this how I'm going to die?"
He sniffled and weakly raised his bloody arm to wipe his tears.
He grimaced as he rubbed the tears and blood away from his face.
A bitter smile appeared on his lips.
He slowly raised his hand to catch a snowflake.
It landed gently onto his palm only to be stained red with his blood.
He chuckled bitterly.
"Red snowflakes... just like that one time."
He sighed then winced.
No one would come for him this time.
Tears once again stung his eyes and slowly trickled down his face.
"Ludwig... bruder."
Chapter One: A Little Bruder
He stared out the window as he listened to the soft humming of his mother.
A brother, he was going to have a little brother!
He could barely hold in his excitement. He would finally be a big brother! He could not wait! He'd be the best big brother ever, perhaps even better than his favorite big brother Werner.
"Mutti?"
"Yes, meine Kleine (my little one)?" his mother answered as she looked up from her knitting.
The young boy shifted in his seat and looked at his mother. "When? When will I have a little bruder?"
His motherlaughed softly. "Soon, Ludwig. Patience, lieber ein (dear one)."
Ludwig shifted in his seat once again. "How soon, Mutti?"
His mother smiled slightly and replied playfully, "Soon."
"Mutti!" Ludwig pouted.
"Come here, kleine (little one)." His mother set her knitting down and held out her hand towards him.
Ludwig curled his lip. Was his mother still playing with him? He looked into her eyes that were sparkling in the dimly lit room.
Come, Ludwig, they begged somewhat playfully.
Ludwig slowly climbed down from his chair. He had a feeling his mother was still playing with him.
"Come, Ludwig," she begged and held out both hands towards him.
Ludwig bit his lip and gingerly accepted his mother's hand.
Her warm hand surrounded the five-year old's hand. "Feel here."
She placed Ludwig's hand against her belly.
Ludwig's eyes widened as her belly suddenly jerked underneath his hand. "What was that?" He looked up at his mother.
She smiled down at him. "That is your bruder."
Ludwig rested his head gently against his mother'sbelly. "Can he hear me?"
His mother'slaughed softly. "Yes."
Ludwig's eyes lit up as he stared at his mother's belly. "Bruder, this is your big bruder Ludwig."
His mother's smile grew as she looked down at her son. He had such a serious look on his young face as he continued to talk to his little brother."When you're born, you're going to have five big bruders. First there is Velten, then Reinhardt, then Werner, then Rolf, and lastly me."
*Creak.*
Ludwig's motherglanced up at the door. Her smile faded as she greeted her husband quietly, "Welcome back, Dedrich."
"Vater's home?" Ludwig turned around quickly.
Dedrich nodded somewhat stiffly at his wife before kneeling down to greet his son.
"Vatti!" Ludwig squealed happily as he ran into his father'sarms. He laughed as his father's strong arms lifted him into the air and spun him around.
His mother smiled slightly at their antics. "Dedrich."
The father paused. "Yes, Sonje?"
She pursed her lips slightly. "Ludwig needs to go to bed."
"Already?" Ludwig pouted.
Sonje nodded. "I only let you stay up so you could greet your vater. So off to bed."
Ludwig sighed as his father set him down. "Yes, Mutti."
The two parents watched as their son reluctantly exited the small living room.
Dedrich glanced at his wife. "You have something on your mind?"
Sonje gave him a small smile. "I cannot hide anything from you, can I?"
Dedrich's lips twitched slightly as if they wanted to smile. "No... you cannot." He sat down beside his wife. "Was stört Sie (What is bothering you)?"
"You came late from work again."
Dedrich frowned slightly. "I cannot help that. Do you want us to starve?"
"You know what I mean, Dedrich. Your family needs you."
"Which is why I work! I have to work longer hours so we'll be able to feed the other mouth that is on the way!" Dedrich snapped.
"Dedrich..."
He ran his hand through his hair. "Es tut mir leid (I'm sorry). It's just..." He sighed in frustration. "I thought we agreed not to have any more children."
"Dedrich."
"I know you always wanted a big family... like yours. But we cannot! We can't afford it, Sonje. We already have too many."
Sonje lowered her eyes and put her hands on her belly.
Dedrich sighed again. "I'm sorry..."
"It's just that we've had this conversation too many times, Dedrich. You said this when we had Werner, again when we had Rolf, and..." her lips trembled a moment before continuing, "And even when we had Ludwig."
He ran his hand through his hair again. "I know... I know. I'm sorry."
Sonje sighed and stood up. "I'll get your dinner."
Dedrich nodded slightly as he followed her into the kitchen.
Ach... He had done it. Sonje was upset once again. He had promised that he would never do that again! If only she hadn't brought up his work. No, no, he couldn't blame her. After all, she was right. He hadn't been able to spend much time with his sons like he once did. Work was always getting in the way. Sonje had suggested getting a new job that would give him more time to be with his family. But nein! It was not possible! His current job gave him just enough pay to provide for his family. He sighed once again. Just enough... Soon it wouldn't be 'just enough.' Once the new baby was born... Dedrich shook his head. No no no! He would find a way to make things work. He couldn't allow Sonje to become upset again. He shuddered to himself as an old memory flashed in his mind. No, he would figure out a way... somehow. He had to. Sonje could not get upset like that one time. He clenched his fists tightly as he sat down at the table. He would never let it happen again. Never.
"Are you all right?" Sonje asked as she set a warm plate of food in front of him.
Dedrich glanced at her. He could see the worry in her violet eyes.
"I'm fine," he assured her. "I was just thinking about work."
"Ah... I see." She took a seat beside him.
Dedrich pursed his lips slightly. Was she still upset? This was not good. At this rate, it might happen again.
"Um... how is Rolf doing in school?"
Sonje managed to smile slightly. "He's doing well in his classes. The teachers give no complaints."
Dedrich nodded and smiled slightly at the thought of their eleven-year old son. "Good. Werner gave us so much trouble at that age."
"Yes... he did."
Dedrich furrowed his brows. It wasn't like her to stay upset. Usually talking about the children made her forget about their little arguments.
"Sonje?"
"Ja?" she replied weakly.
Dedrich frowned. "Are you all right?"
"I... I'm fine. I'm just a little tired."
Dedrich pushed his plate aside and wrapped his large hands around his wife's delicate ones. "You're shaking."
"I... I'm fine," she insisted. "I just need some rest." She tried to give him a reassuring smile. "I'll be fine."
Dedrich pursed his lips. "Don't push yourself, Sonje. Remember what happened last time."
She winced slightly.
Dedrich mentally slapped himself. Why had he brought the memory up to her? She would be the one more bothered about it than he would. Ach... this child was causing problems before it had even been born! No, he knew he shouldn't blame the child, but he couldn't help it. After all, it was the fact that child was on its way that caused these little problems. Dedrich sighed. Perhaps the child would make up for it when it was finally born.
Ludwig rocked his chair back and forth as he leaned against the kitchen window.
"Ludwig, please stop that."
"Sorry, Mutti..." he mumbled.
Sonje pursed her lips. "Did you finish your reading for today?"
"Most of it," Ludwig answered with some guilt.
Sonje sighed. "All right. You may go out and play."
Ludwig's face lit up. "Thank you, Mutti!"
Sonje smiled slightly. "Be back before dinner."
Ludwig nodded and gave his mothera quick hug before scurrying out of the house.
Sonje smiled slightly.
Well, now she could go to Ulrich's a little earlier than usual. Perhaps she could stay longer as well. She hurried to the living room where she had left her knitting basket. Yes, all the pieces were ready for Ulrich.
"Mutti!"
Sonje dropped her knitting back into the basket. Had Ludwig returned already?
"Oi, Mutti! I'm home!"
Sonje felt somewhat relieved. It was just one of the boys returning home from school.
"I'm in the living room."
"There you are, Mutti!" Werner called out happily. "Classes got out early today."
She nodded. "So I see."
Werner cocked his head slightly. "Going through your knitting?"
Sonje glanced down at her basket. "Yes."
"What for? I thought you quit."
"Oh, I just thought I'd make some things for the baby."
Werner picked up a sweater. "This looks awfully big for a baby."
Sonje snatched the sweater from her son. "Werner."
Werner pursed his lips. "Sorry, Mutti. But really... what's up with all this knitting? I thought you quit because of, " he coughed. "Um you know."
Sonje sighed softly. "It's nothing."
Werner frowned. "Does Vatti know about this?"
Sonje refolded the sweater, pretending not to have heard.
"Mutti? Does Vatti know?"
She sighed again. "No... he doesn't."
Werner raised an eyebrow. "Mutti."
"Werner, I," she hesitated before continuing, "I have a job at Ulrich's."
"Mutti!"
"I have my reasons, Werner." She set the sweater back into the basket. "Please don't tell your vater. I will tell him... when the time is right."
Werner shifted uneasily. "Okay, Mutti. But you will tell Vatti?"
Sonje gave her son a small smile. "I will tell him."
"So er... where's Lud?"
"He went out to play. Probably with Roderich."
"Oh... play. That's nice."
Sonje picked up her basket. "I am going to Ulrich's shop for a bit. Make sure Ludwig comes home before dinner, all right?"
"Of course, Mutti."
She smiled at him again and whispered, "Thank you, Werner."
Werner cracked a small grin. "Have a nice time at Ulrich's."
Sonje laughed softly and picked up her basket. "I will."
Werner furrowed his brow slightly as he watched his motherleave.
A job, eh? Was that why she hadn't been feeling well the past few nights? Maybe he should tell Vater... No, he had promised his mother. Werner forced himself to shrug the thought off. She would tell Vater when the time was right. There was no need for him to worry about it. No need at all, right? No... there was need to worry.
Bah! It was hard being the eldest son in the house. If only Velten or Reinhardt were at home, they would know what to do. Werner, on the other hand, had no clue what to do. He couldn't exactly ask his older brothers for help. Velten had moved away from Berlin and had started his own family. Well, now that he thought about it, he could ask Reinhardt. After all, Reinhardt lived nearby.
Werner shook his head. "No, I can handle this on my own. Everything will be fine, just fine. I don't need Reinhardt's help."
All right... Werner had finally gotten both of his little brothers back home. Ludwig wasn't much of problem. Rolf was the issue. Apparently, Rolf had forgotten to mention to Werner that he was going to be very late coming home from school. That had caused Werner to run around (with Ludwig making it even more difficult!) to find him. Ah but now he could relax in his room and wait for dinner.
Dinner?
Werner sniffed the air.
Surely Mutter had started dinner by now. After all, she had arrived an hour before them. Maybe he should check on her.
"Hey Werner!" Rolf called out from his room. "Is dinner ready yet?"
"I'm about to check!" he yelled back.
Bruders... Werner shook his head and hurried toward the kitchen.
"Mutti! Is dinner ready? Mutti?"
"Werner..."
"Mutti?"
His mother grimaced slightly as she leaned against the counter. "Werner... Get doctor...Frau Baumann and... and your vater. I think... it's time."
Werner froze.
It was time already?! Wasn't it a bit early for this to happen?
"Werner!" his mother cried.
He shook himself out of his frozen state. "I'll get them."
Dedrich clasped his hands together tightly as he paced back and forth down the hall.
Sonje did not look well when he had arrived. Had she overworked herself again? Was she all right? How he wished he could be with her! But no, Frau Baumann and the doctor insisted that he wait out here.
Useless! That's what they said. They said he'd be useless. Him? Useless? No, not him! He had experienced five births. He would not be useless like the past times.
"Vater?"
Dedrich roused himself from out of his thoughts and looked down at his son. "What is it Werner? Shouldn't you already be at Reinhardt's with the boys?"
The fourteen-year old shifted uncomfortably. "Vatti, um there's just something I thought I should tell you before we left. It's kind of important." Werner shifted uneasily. "It's about... Mutti."
Dedrich frowned slightly, worry filling his blue eyes. "What about your mutter?"
Werner shifted again and avoided his father'seyes. "She um..."
"Just say it, Werner," his father'ssaid impatiently.
"Mutti has a job. Oh it's just a little job," Werner added quickly. "She just um sells things at Ulrich's shop."
Dedrich's furrowed his brows. "For how long?"
Werner shrugged. "A while I guess. I just um... thought you should know." He bit his lip. "I was kinda worried about Mutti and the new kid on the way," he trailed off.
Dedrich's frown deepened. "I see... Thank you for telling me, Werner."
Werner nodded. "So um I guess I'll take the boys to Reinhardt's and come back?"
Dedrich quickly shook his head. "No... It'd be best for you three to stay at Reinhardt's for the night."
"Oh okay... I guess we'll see you in the morning?"
Dedrich nodded. "In the morning."
"Rolf and Ludwig can sleep in my room and I suppose Werner and I can sleep in the living room." Reinhardt pursed his lips slightly as he led his Rolf and Ludwigto his bedroom. "Yes... I think that will work."
Rolf sighed. "I have to share the bed with Ludwig?"
Ludwig frowned up at his older brother. "You're the one who is going to take up too much room on it!"
Reinhardt sighed. "It'll just be for one night."
"Thank goodness," Rolf mumbled.
Reinhardt pursed his lips slightly. "Sleep well you two."
"We'll try," two younger siblings replied as Reinhardt turned off the light and closed the door behind him.
Reinhardt sighed again. "Those two..."
"At least you don't have to deal with them all the time," Werner pointed out.
"True, but I did have you."
"But I was better than them."
Reinhardt chuckled. "Actually, you were worse than them. I just hope our new little bruder won't be anything like you, for your sake."
"Hey! What's that suppose to mean?! Reinhardt? Reinhardt!"
"Rolf?" Ludwig whispered softly in the dark.
"Mmph..."
"Rolf?" Ludwig whispered again, but a little louder.
"Mmm?"
"Rolf!"
"Wha?" he asked sleepily.
"You were sleeping already?"
"Was. Not anymore," he yawned and ran a hand through his light chestnut hair. "Bad dream, Luddy?"
"No... I haven't fallen asleep yet."
Rolf sat up reluctantly. "What is it?"
"I can't sleep."
"Krampus?" Rolf teased.
Ludwig huffed. "Krampus isn't real. Reinhardt told me so a couple of weeks ago."
"Reinhardt finally told you?" Rolf sighed.
Ludwig stuck his tongue out at Rolf. "That was mean of you."
Rolf smirked. "But it was so much fun to see you soo scared on Christmas Eve."
"Roooooolf!" Ludwig whined as he held up his pillow threateningly.
"Okay, okay!" Rolf held up his hands in mock surrender. "What's keeping you up?"
Ludwig hugged his pillow tightly.
"... I can't help you if you don't tell me."
"I just can't sleep."
Rolf sighed. "There must be something bothering you or you wouldn't have woken me up."
"It's nothing!" Ludwig insisted.
Rolf yawned and snuggled back under the covers. "Yeah, yeah whatever... Just go to bed, Luddy."
"Rooolf!"Ludwig thumped Rolf with his pillow.
"Wha?" Rolf grumbled.
Ludwig chewed on his bottom lip. "It's Mutti."
Rolf sighed again and pushed himself back into a sitting position. "What about Mutti?"
"Is she all right?"
"Mutti is fine," Rolf assured Ludwig as he lied back down. "Vatti just thought it'd be best if we didn't bother her."
"You... sure?"
"Positive, Luddy. Mutti will be fine. We'll probably be able to see her and our," Rolf paused to yawn, "New baby bruder tomorrow. So get some rest. Okay?"
"Okay..." Ludwig reluctantly joined his brother under the covers. "Good night, Rolf."
"Mm mmmm."
Ludwig sighed softly. Rolf was already asleep, and Ludwig was still wide awake! Maybe he should try counting sheep or something.
"One, two, three, four..." Ludwig sighed again. "Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten."
No, he was still wide awake. Try again?
"One, two..."
No, still not working.
Ludwig squirmed under the covers and clenched his eyes shut. How did Rolf fall asleep so easily? Was it because he was getting old? Ludwig giggled to himself. Rolf was turning into a Opa!
"Ngh!" Rolf grunted and rolled onto his side, taking much of the blankets with him.
"Hey!" Ludwig growled unhappily as he struggled to pull the blankets back to his side of the bed. "Not fair, bruder!"
"Ngh..." Rolf replied in his sleep.
Ludwig grunted and curled up closer to his brother. "Rolf's a grumpy Opa now. No, a mean, grumpy, selfish Opa."
Ludwig yawned. That little fight over the blankets must have gotten him sleepy. He yawned again, and soon he was finally asleep.
Dedrich stared at the child that lay in his shaking arms. His child. But was this... this child really his? He frowned slightly as he inspected the child once again.
Gilbert, that was the name Sonje had picked for the child.
Dedrich snorted softly to himself. Gilbert, eh? Didn't that mean "noble youth" or something like that? He glanced at the frail, white child. Nothing particularly noble in this child, but then it was still a child when it grew-
Ach... when it grew up. No wait, if it grew up.
No, no no! Dedrich shook his head hard. He shouldn't be even thinking such things! It had to live, for Sonje's sake. If it died... she would fade away in sorrow.
No! The child must live. It must live.
He looked once again at the child. He could feel his heart soften somewhat as he continued to gaze at the tiny child. He supposed he could try to look past the child's pale complexion but then... there were those eyes. He shuddered at the thought.
Red. The child's eyes were red. Of all colors... red! Was it suppose to be possible for someone to have such red eyes?
Red eyes! How could it have happened? After all, he had blue eyes (which all of his other sons had inherited) and Sonje had violet eyes. So how did red eyes come into the picture? He sighed. Would he ever get use to those red eyes? At least the child was sleeping now. He wouldn't have to face those demon-looking eyes for awhile.
Demon?
This was his son!
But... those eyes! They weren't natural.
He growled softly to himself.
Somehow... he had to learn to like the child, red eyes or not.
He frowned deeply.
Learn to like or learn to love?
Which would he choose?
He sighed again.
Deep down, he knew which one he should choose.
But why did it seem so hard? This was his child. He was suppose to love it. Why didn't he seem to love this child? Was the reason... perhaps because-
"Dedrich?"
Dedrich nearly dropped the child in surprise. "Y-Yes, Sonje? You're awake..."
Sonje managed to nod weakly. "Let me see him."
He gently placed the child into her arms.
"He's beautiful," she whispered softly.
Dedrich tried to smile. "Y-yes..."
"He's so tiny..."
Dedrich coughed, worried that Sonje might catch the emotion in his voice if he spoke.
She glanced at him. "Is... something wrong?"
Dedrich coughed again.
She pursed her slips slightly and put her focus back on the child in her arms. "He looks like Rolf."
Dedrich managed to let out a quiet grunt. "I suppose..."
"Have the boys seen him?"
"No... not yet. They are still at Reinhardt's."
"Oh." She let hers eyes fall back onto their child. "You can bring them back. I know Ludwig will want to see his little bruder."
Dedrich coughed once again. "Yes... I'll go... I'll go and get them in the morning."
He quietly exited the room and leaned against the door that was now closed behind him.
In the morning... He would figure out everything in the morning before he went to get the boys. Wait, it would be better for them to stay another day with Reinhardt. After he talked more with the doctor about the child, then he could bring the boys back home. Yes, that what was he would do. Everything would fall together in the morning. Everything would be fine... He would make sure of it. This was not the time to shirk his responsibilities. No, he would remain as the head of his family and take care of everything. Everything would be fine. It had to be.
Reinhardt frowned.
"Something wrong?" Werner asked.
Reinhardt shrugged. "I can't say for sure."
"What's that suppose to mean?!"
"Vatti stopped by earlier this morning."
"Vatti did? So does that mean we can go back home now?"
Reinhardt shook his head. "Vatti said you three are spending another night here."
"What?! Another night!" Werner groaned.
"Don't complain, Werner."
"I can't help it! I miss my bed. Your couch makes my back stiff!"
"Werner," Reinhardt said sternly.
Werner stiffened slightly. "What?"
"I think it might have to do with Mutti."
"You don't mean..." Werner trailed off softly.
Reinhardt nodded. "It could be possible. It would explain Vatti's behavior."
"What should I say to Rolf and Ludwig?"
"Say what to me?" Rolf peeked his head into the kitchen. "Can we go home yet? Ludwig keeps asking me about it!"
Reinhardt and Werner glanced at each other.
Reinhardt's eyebrow twitched slightly. "Don't say mention you know what."
Werner nodded as he stood up. "I won't."
"So Werner?" the eleven-year old asked impatiently as the older brother followed him into the living room.
Ludwig's face lit up slightly as he saw Werner. "Can I see Mutti now?"
Werner shook his head.
Rolf raised an eyebrow.
"Vatti seems con-." He stopped as he glanced at Ludwig. "I mean Vatti says um that she just needs some more rest."
Rolf frowned slightly. "Oh."
Ludwig looked at both his bruders with a worried expression. "Is Mutti not okay?"
Rolf's eyebrow twitched slightly as he glanced at his older brother. "Smart move, Werner. Now you got Luddy suspicious."
Werner glared daggers at Rolf. "Like you could have done better!"
Rolf rolled his eyes. "I might not have but at least Reinhardt would have."
Werner cleared his throat. "Mutti's fine, Lud. She just needs to rest a little longer. You'll see her soon."
"But I want to see her and bruder now!" Ludwig pouted.
"Patience, Luddy." Rolf ruffled his little brother'sfluffy blonde hair. "You'll see 'em soon."
Ludwig sighed. "Promise?"
Rolf smiled. "I promise."
