Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.
Written for; Stickers - Gryffindor - Fat Lady's portrait - Guarding something.
Word Count Without AN - 1468
Guard Duty
"Why me?" Harry asked, scowling. "Surely there's someone else who can do babysitting duty?"
"It's not babysitting, Harry, it's witness guarding and you're on the same rotation as everyone else. You just drew the short straw with the identity of the witness," Robards replied calmly.
Harry sighed. "We have history, Sir. It's not that I'm trying to skip out on my duty, it's really not. Lucius Malfoy…"
"I understand about the war, Harry, but everyone has that history."
Harry shook his head. "I meant after. Lucius Malfoy broke my heart. I can't be impartial."
Robards eyes widened. "Oh. I didn't… realise you'd been involved. I'm sorry, Harry, there's nothing I can do, all the other Aurors are either on cases or off for the holidays."
Harry nodded. "Alright, Sir. Permission to silence the witness if I think I might kill him if he keeps talking?"
Robards chuckled. "Permission granted, Auror Potter. Permission most certainly granted."
Lucius sat with his back resting against the wall, waiting for his Auror guard. He didn't think it necessary, personally, he was completely capable of looking after himself. He saw a flash of red and then was suddenly assaulted by the full view of Auror Harry Potter, looking just as handsome as Lucius remembered.
Memories ran through his mind, laughing, kissing, making love. Arguments, harsh words and tears.
He'd broken the younger man's heart, he knew, but he'd never explained why. How was he supposed to admit that for the first time in his life he was being selfless? That he didn't want to hold Harry back. That if Harry'd stayed with him, it would have been detrimental to every other part of his life.
"I'm here to shadow you," Harry informed him quietly. "You can go about your business as you would any other time, and pretend I'm not there. I'll only intervene if you're put in danger."
"Harry -"
"Auror Potter," Harry corrected. "Please. I can't do this if we can't keep it professional."
Lucius nodded, swallowing hard. "As you wish."
Harry ghosted Lucius for a week, and not once was he forced to step in. He'd known it was a long shot that anyone would try and attack Lucius, but, the Auror department couldn't afford to take the chance.
When Christmas arrived, Harry put in another request to have someone else replace him, to no avail. He would be forced to travel with Lucius to his French Chateau for the Christmas period.
"You do not have to do this," Lucius said, as they prepared for the portkey. "The wards on the Chateau are unsurpassable, I will be safe alone there."
Harry shook his head. "It's my job."
"Harry."
"It's my job."
Harry stood on the balcony. This was where he'd spent Christmas three years ago - the last one that he hadn't spent working. It was hard, being back here, with Lucius.
He'd missed the man. He still loved him, suspected he would always love him, but he had his pride, and there was no way was he going to beg the older man to love him again.
Because of all the things Lucius said to him when he sent him away, the one thing that Harry hadn't believed was that he didn't love Harry.
Harry knew Lucius loved him.
You couldn't be that tender and affectionate with someone that you didn't care about. You couldn't fake that kind of emotion.
"Are you okay?" Lucius asked, appearing at the door.
Harry nodded. "Fine, thank you."
"I've had the guest room next to mine prepared for you. I… will you join me for dinner?"
Harry wanted to say yes. He wanted to say that he'd join him for anything he asked for if it meant he could have the happiness he'd once enjoyed back in his life.
Instead, he shook his head with a small smile. "No, thank you. I'm okay for now."
Harry woke, sitting up in bed. He looked around the room, picking his wand up from the bedside table. He wasn't sure what woke him, but he heard a small bang and got out of bed quickly, making his way through to the living room where he'd heard the noise.
Taking in his surroundings, he felt himself relaxing slightly when he saw Lucius was in there alone.
"Is everything okay?" he asked quietly, stepping further into the room.
Lucius looked up at him, not even trying to hide the tears that fell down his cheeks.
Harry frowned.
"Go back to bed, Auror Potter. There's nothing here you need to worry about. Just an old man, living in his memories."
"You're not old," Harry murmured, stepping closer. He wanted to leave, he wanted to go back to bed and forget this scene, but he couldn't.
He couldn't leave Lucius to sit and cry alone.
"What's going on?" he asked, dropping lightly to his knees next to where Lucius sat cross legged in front of the fire.
Lucius handed him a picture, one Harry recognised. The two of them had been on holiday in Portugal, and Lucius had taken Harry to a magical zoo. The picture was of Harry playing with a baby hippogriff.
"I try, every year, to get rid of these memories. And every year… I fail."
"Lucius…"
"I miss you, Harry. Very much, I miss you."
"I don't… You left me, Lucius, not the other way around. I don't know what you're expecting me to say."
"I lied to you that day," Lucius whispered. "When I told you that I didn't love you, when I said I didn't want you. All lies."
"Then why did you leave me?"
"You deserved more. You deserved better."
Harry frowned, then pushed himself to his feet. All of this could have been avoided, if only Lucius had trusted him to know his own mind.
Crossing to the balcony, Harry stepped outside, closing the doors behind him. It was his favourite place in the villa, always had been. Watching the snowfall around him helped him think.
Lucius followed him a few minutes later.
"You didn't think that it should be up to me to choose what I deserve?" Harry asked, when Lucius didn't speak. "You don't think I can decide who to share my life with? Decide who to love?"
"Harry?"
"You didn't trust me to know my own mind, Lucius."
"I didn't want to ruin your life, Harry!" Lucius snapped. "People would have talked."
"They do little else," Harry replied.
People would always talk about Harry's life. It was just a fact of life, one he was well used to.
"I'm sorry, Harry."
Nodding sadly, Harry replied, "Me too."
They didn't talk much for the rest of their trip, and when they returned to England, it was to the news that the Trial would be happening immediately, and Harry would no longer be necessary for Lucius' protection.
Harry returned to his flat that night, relief and pain coursing through him in equal measures. He was glad to be away from Lucius, to get his mind back to how it had been before, when he'd compartmentalised the constant pain he felt from being abandoned by the man he loved.
He felt the pain in double force though, because so long in proximity with the older wizard had reminded Harry exactly how much he loved him.
A knock on the door sounded and Harry groaned. Opening it up, he blinked when he saw Lucius standing there, looking uncharacteristically nervous.
"Can I come in?"
"Uh, sure."
Harry closed the door behind them and gestured Lucius through to the living room.
"Harry, I… if you decide right now that you never want to see me again, I'll respect you wishes, I promise. But… if there's a chance, even just a small chance, that you can forgive me my folly in sending you away, please, please, give me the chance to make it up to you."
Harry didn't really know what to say. "I. Um. Lucius." He stopped. "I love you. I do. Still. I imagine I always will. But… what are you going to do when the press tear me apart for dating you? When they cast aspersions on both of us. When they print article after article trying to break us up. Will you do this all over again, in an effort to protect me from myself?"
Lucius shook his head forcefully. "I've learnt my lesson, Harry. I can't… I don't want to live without you anymore, and anyone who has a problem with that can go and hang."
Harry smiled at the use of the words he'd said long ago. "I won't just jump back into bed with you."
Lucius stepped forward, taking Harry's hand in his own. "Will you allow me to escort you to dinner?"
Nodding, Harry squeezed his hand. "I'd be honoured."
