A/N: Consider this a giftfic celebrating my fifth year here at fanfiction-dot-net. I can't believe how long I've been around here. Anyhow, this is just a lot of sappiness and not very tightly written (gah...the plot holes!!) but just take it for it is: FLUFF!!
Enjoy, and thanks for five years of support!!
INSECURITY
Cloud was a rather insecure man. Perhaps it was a little strange to think that he of all people had at one point allowed his doubts to so debilitate him so badly that he failed to protect his family when it mattered most—oh the fragile realm of emotions!—but it was true nonetheless. Cloud Strife, for all the reassurances poured upon him by family and friends alike, still at times fell into the pitfall of thinking too much.
It was a little known fact to the general public who only saw him as hero and not human, but for those select few who could claim to really truly know him, they were very well aware of his lingering lack of self-confidence, especially in matters having to do with relationships. And there was one in particular that ate away at his mind because he couldn't understand how someone so beautifully wonderfully gorgeous in all facets of the word could ever be in love with someone like him.
So when the object of his greatest affections came walking up to him one day with a nervous yet determined look on her face, he got nervous. Very very nervous. And with good reason too. It was the type of look that people wore when they had some very bad news to break.
And for Cloud, when he thought bad news, the first thing he automatically thought of was that he had finally worn out his welcome.
Cerebrally, he knew this to be complete and utter foolishness. Some part of him had always known that his home was wherever Tifa was and that Tifa belonged wherever he was. Yet, it was only in the weeks and months that followed the incident with Kadaj and company that he came to truly understand that simple fact.
Even in all his most insecure and questioning moments, he knew that even if he thought all the world to be false, he could trust her to be true.
Yet…that little insidious voice in his head begged to differ. It was the voice that told him Tifa deserved so much more than the messed-up nutcase that he was. It was also the voice that made him forget that Tifa deserved to be happy and she was always happiest with him (a phenomenon that will never cease to amaze him, he thinks).
She made to step closer before seeming to think better of it and maintained the friendly, but not friendly, distance between them. That action in itself had his palms sweating more than anything. In the time they'd finally gotten through their respective heads that they were both madly and irrevocably in love with each other, Cloud had come to recognize Tifa's peculiar habit of needing to cuddle—not that he was complaining—whenever she had something serious to say in regards to their relationship.
By keeping that distance between them, by not snuggling, his head got that to mean that she was breaking off their relationship altogether.
His mind also conveniently forgot the fact that she'd been the one very reluctant to let him go on his deliveries this morning after an incident in the kitchen had her backed flush against the wall, strength forsaken and body boneless and utterly defenseless against the wonderful wonderful little things his mouth was doing to hers.
So it was with a not-so uncommon plague of insecurity that had him mentally cringing at what words may come through those temptingly luscious full lips of hers.
When she finally spoke, it's done haltingly, but the grim set of her rose-tinted eyes tell him that she's determined to have this talk. "Cloud, before I say anything else, I just want you to know that I…I really am proud of you. But we really have to talk about…well, us."
"Is there something wrong with 'us'?" he wanted to ask, but something kept his mouth shut. Swallowing what felt like a baby Zuu, he nodded for her to continue.
"There are just some things that you do that I—I…" She threw her hands up suddenly and it's almost as if she'd thrown away the hesitance because all of a sudden the words came pouring out in a rush. "God, Cloud, sometimes you can be so annoying!"
He blinked. Then he blinked again. Then his jaw and eyes drop open as if he were a marionette doll that just got its controlling strings cut. He'd expected her to put him down gently, to murmur kind words that would keep his soul intact, but he hadn't expected her to toss him in a blender. Sputtering, he only barely managed to choke out a mangled, "What?"
There was fire in her eyes now and part of him just wanted to hide but another part of him realized that he deserved anything she may throw at him, literally or proverbially, after everything he'd put her through.
"Do you know how absolutely infuriating it is when you leave the toilet seat up?"
He cast his eyes on the ground, her words not quite registering—only the tone of her voice—and suddenly the guilt came flooding back. He'd hurt them all so badly when he'd left the first time. He understood that some things just never heal, but he was trying, really, really trying and he –
His eyes shot impossibly wide when he heard her complain about him putting the toilet paper in with the free end facing the wrong direction.
His brain finally tuned into her words and he's caught somewhere between relief and incredulity when he really hears what she's talking about.
"…And I really can't stand it when you put the mugs back with the handles sticking to the wrong side. Oh and don't even get me started on how you always forget to clean out the drain when you do the dishes."
"…That's it?"
"What do you mean that's it?! These are some serious issues, Cloud!"
He didn't try stopping the laughter from bubbling up as a wave of sweet sweet relief swept through him. "That's what you wanted to talk to me about?!"
"Well yeah. What else?" she replied indignantly, halfway torn between joining his laughing fest just for the simple fact that he was laughing and smacking him for making her the subject of his amusement.
He didn't answer; instead he pulled her into his arms left her speechless with his lips.
Time passed inconsequentially, (Was it long or short? Who knew and who cared? Time was negligible, only that he was kissing her and oh was he kissing her!) and when they finally parted, Tifa stared back at him in a daze, eyes lidded and dark with some emotion, the erratic beating of her heart far from settling.
In the meantime, he looked vaguely smug. Yes, take that insecurity!
Then he smiled at her and she felt all her insides twisting around and around and all she really wanted (forget about the toilet seats and the mugs and whatever else she'd originally wanted to berate him for) was for him to kiss her and hold her and never let go.
Then a thought crossed her mine and her radiant glow dimmed into a scowl. "Don't think for a second that I don't know what you're doing, Cloud Strife."
He smirked—amazing what leaving the love of your life in a state of complete ecstasy could do for a self-confidence booster—and he leaned to ghost his lips against her jaw, his touch teasing as he made his way down the column of her throat before bringing his mouth back up to the shell of her ear and whispering, "And just what am I doing?"
Tifa's thoughts scattered for a moment and she indulged in the warmth of his breath against her sensitive skin but the breathless moan that slid through her lips brought her back to her senses (somewhat) and she growled.
"Don't think that you can just distract me like this every time I try to talk to you about leaving that stupid toilet seat up!" His lips had worked its way back to her chin and now they ghosted teasingly, frustratingly, breaths away from her own. "And damn it Cloud, would you just kiss me?!"
He was too close for her to really see the devilish smirk that spread across his lips then, but what she did see was the sudden flash of smug male satisfaction in his eyes. She decided to let him slide, just this once. "If you insist, Mrs. Strife."
He proceeded to make her really forget any complaints she might have had.
In the morning she would probably make him go fix all the mugs and clean the drains and mow the lawn and finally put that window curtain up, but for now, all he knew was that she'd dismantled every single one of his insecurities, just by being her.
And God did he love her for it.
