You know, if you really want to know anything about my family, you should just ask me – course, no one ever does, seein' as I'm "just a car" – and everybody knows cars don't talk. Have you ever thought maybe people just don't listen?
Now, take my boys for instance. One time Bo wanted to jump me over 32 parked cars – 32! I ain't sayin' that I couldn't do it – of course I could, and I did. It's just that I didn't trust that Carl fella with that Carnival from the get go. There was just somethin' off about him. I tried everything I could think of to get Bo not to try that jump. Why, I was practically screamin' at him, but he just wouldn't listen. I even tried cuttin' myself off and just refusin' to go any farther – and he still didn't get the message. (I love the boy, but sometimes he just don't listen to nobody!) He just called in old Cooter to check me over. Now, Cooter's usually pretty good at listening to me, but not that time. He and Bo even left me alone where Carl could get at me! I tell you, if Luke hadn't showed up when he did, there's no tellin' what might've happened. He stopped Carl and got Cooter to fix me up so I could make the jump. He knew I wouldn't let them down, once I was feeling alright.
I've never let my boys down. Now, I know what you're thinking – what about the Double Zero? Well, that one I had to do. You see, I talked to the Double Zero before the race. His family was having real bad money troubles and needed the prize money to save their home – a position we've been in a time or two ourselves. For once, my family was doin' okay. The money would've been nice, but they wouldn't lose anything if they didn't get it. I knew the boys would've let him win, if I could've explained it to them. Uncle Jesse's always taught them to do the right thing. I guess some of that has rubbed off on me over the years – I just couldn't let that poor family lose everything they'd worked for – so I just kinda hung back a little. It didn't do my reputation any good, but reputation ain't everything, you know. Don't look at me like that, I told you Uncle Jesse has rubbed off on me some.
Now, Uncle Jesse, he fusses a lot about me – especially my doors – but, I love him, and, deep down, I think he loves me, too. Like when Boss hypnotized Luke into selling me. Uncle Jesse saved my life that day. He was the one who broke through the post-hypnotic-suggestion to bring Luke back to his senses. He also gave the boys the money to go get me back. If he hadn't, the boys would never have got there in time to get rid of the dynamite on my front seat, and I would've been blown to that big junkyard in the sky. I know he did it for the boys, but I like to think he did it at least partly for me, too.
After all, I saved his life once, too – although I don't think anybody realizes that. He drove me one day to pick Daisy up from work because Dixie was in the shop, and the boys had the truck to pick up some feed. Well, when we parked, he didn't see the rattlesnake near my tire, and he hadn't been able to hear it because of my engine. Just as he started past me, that snake struck and bit Uncle Jesse twice, just above his boot. There wasn't much I could really do, but I started blowing my horn over and over till everybody came out to help him. Cooter said it must have been a short in my horn – even though he never did find one. Uncle Jesse, though, I could see in his eyes that he at least sorta understood – and the way he patted my hood told me he was grateful.
Even though he isn't technically part of my family, I have to tell you, I love Cooter, too. I owe him a lot, and I know it. Cooter does all of my big repairs – which, I hate to admit, come more and more often these days. Plus, Cooter was the one who gave me my color – a large part of my identity. Course, he suggested my orange coat because it was just about the only thing he had, but that don't matter- after all, the best things usually happen by accident. I couldn't imagine being some boring color like blue or white – there are just too many of those cars on the road, and they all blend in with each other. Nope, I like to stand out in a crowd – more chances for fun, leading chases with Rosco and Enos, or the trouble-making city slickers that pass through every so often. But, that ain't what I was supposed to be talking about, now is it? Nope, I was talking about Cooter, the best mechanic in the state of Georgia. I'm not just saying that because he keeps me running.
I have never seen anything mechanical that Cooter couldn't fix. He even fixed an armored tank loaded with enough weapons to level Hazzard – the Mean Green Machine they called it. Now, I never did think that was too fair – after all, it wasn't Greenie's fault what his people used him for! He was actually real nice. It killed him when his people made him destroy things, and he always apologized to everything he was forced to pull apart. I know, that didn't change the fact that he still did it, but he had to. He wasn't real bright. He couldn't figure out how to just turn himself off or jerk the wheel – or else he was afraid of being scrapped if he did. Since I didn't have my boys at the time- I was stuck with their cousins Vance and Coy (don't get me started on them) – I didn't get much chance to get close enough for a real conversation. Cooter, though, I think he understood that Greenie didn't have much control in the situation. A lesser man would've punished Greenie, but not my Cooter. He fixed Greenie up right, then beat the puddin' out of the two guys that had been using him – just like they deserved. I just hope that, wherever Boss and Rosco took that poor machine, someone's treating him a little nicer.
Cooter has a deeper understanding of cars than most people do – in fact, he has a deeper understanding of cars than he does most people. Whenever he works on me, when there's no one else around, he talks to me. No, I ain't gonna tell you what he talks about! Usually it's private stuff that he doesn't want to tell anybody else. He just uses me when he wants to hear it said out loud and wants somebody that can keep a secret.
There was one time that I know he wouldn't mind me tellin'. These two crooks had stole me from the boys, along with their clothes, while the boys were skinny dipping. Well, just as I was trying to figure out the best place to cut off on them so my boys could find me, the dang fool behind the wheel went and ran me into the pond! When Rosco and Enos saw me go into the pond, they naturally figured the boys were inside. Of course, all they found of the boys was their clothes – since that's all I had – but, for some reason, they took that to mean the boys were dead.
I know Uncle Jesse and Daisy took it really hard, too, but, the only one I saw before they found out the truth was poor Cooter. He honestly believed that he had just lost his two best friends – and they were still being framed by Boss Hogg for stealin' a watch that hadn't even been stolen, yet. Cooter was heartbroken, of course, but he still pulled me out of the pond and got me all cleaned up and dried out. He cried a lot while he worked, and kept patting me every time he went past to get something else.
He told me, "Just because the boys are gone, that don't mean you have to go with them, General. Neither of them would've wanted that. They loved you, buddy. This way, a part of them can live in you. When Uncle Jesse or Daisy drive you, they'll know Bo and Luke are right there with them." Heaven help me, I knew my boys were fine, but, if I could've, I would've been crying myself! I kept tryin' to tell him that the boys hadn't been driving me. They were alive and, as far as I knew, unhurt. Of course, Cooter couldn't understand me. He just finished his work, patted my roof, and went to the farm for Bo and Luke's wake. Y'all know the rest of that story, so I won't bore you with details.
Then, of course, there's Daisy. What can I say about her? She has her jeep, Dixie, to take care of her, but, in the end, I still feel responsible for her. After all, Daisy did start working at the Boar's Nest for me. It was the only way Uncle Jesse could get a half-way decent interest rate on the loan he took out so Bo and Luke could buy me. So, since I'm responsible for her having to work for Boss Hogg, I'm also responsible for keeping her safe from whatever problems that job may bring.
Daisy doesn't drive me very often; normally she's just riding with the boys. When she does drive, though, I don't get to do any jumps, but sometimes, I do get to do different stunts with her – like circling Hazzard square on two wheels to confuse Rosco. (That was really fun!) The boys wouldn't do that – they only take me up on two wheels when they don't have no other choice. Daisy does it sometimes just because it's fun – the same reason Bo makes a lot of his jumps. She has enough confidence in me to know that everything will turn out just fine. I'd never get her hurt if I could help it.
Daisy doesn't talk to me all that much, but she shows she loves me in plenty of other ways. On the anniversary of the day I became a member of the family, she bakes me a birthday cake – and even decorates it. I ask you, how many cars can say someone cares enough for them to bake them a cake?
Sometimes, though, she'll tell me little things – especially if she's really nervous or excited. Like the day we went to Atlanta so Bo and Luke could talk to that Starr guy about her royalty money for her song. She stayed with me to wait for them, but she wasn't happy about it. The whole time they were in there the first time, she was fussin' to me about how she wasn't a child and didn't need anybody to take care of her. Well, now, I could see her point – I mean she can take care of herself. I don't know very many people – including my boys – that are dumb enough to tangle with that gal when she's riled. She fights dirty! I've even seen her flip Luke over her shoulder to the ground, and, believe me, there ain't a whole lot of people could do that. Of course, she didn't hurt him none, but she wasn't aiming to. She just wanted to prove a point.
I can see the other side of all this, too, though. Just about anybody who knows Daisy wants to protect her – and she realizes that, it just bugs her sometimes. Why, when we were at Starr's apartment building, and she told the boys that he had tried to assault her virtue, I was about ready to figure out a way to drive up those stairs and take care of him myself! It took the boys a mite longer than it should have to figure out what she was saying to them, but, when they did, it was all she could do to keep us from turning around. Personally, I was all for letting them go back and scuff him up a bit, but Daisy kept saying that she had taken care of it. She just wanted to fuss; she didn't want nobody to do nothing about it.
Now, personally, I like to think that we cars tend to reflect the personalities of our people, at least a little bit. Dixie, Daisy's jeep, is a perfect example – and not just because she's the only girl in a yard full of boys. (Yes, the pick-up is a boy. His name's Jackson, although I doubt even Jesse knows it. Old Jack's a quiet sort – and hates to be called Jack, so, of course, I do it as often as I can get away with. I won't tell you what he calls me – let's just say it ain't always friendly.) When you look at Dixie compared to me or Jack, she looks delicate and small. She seems like a sweet little thing that wouldn't hurt a fly – which she is, for the most part – but, when you cross her, you find out just how tough she really is.
Dixie usually just hangs back and lets me take care of any problems, but, I'll tell ya right now, there ain't nobody I'd rather have backing me up in a pinch. She don't fly too great, but she can go cross country just as easy as I can jump the creek. She says she just don't like the feel of air beneath her wheels.
When them dang crooks stole me and hooked me up to a remote control to make me wreck a train, Dixie was the one who got my boys to me. She kept talking to me and reminding me of who I was and what mattered most to me. Eventually she managed to get through to me enough to where I could ignore their commands long enough for the boys to get control and eventually get that stupid thing off me. I owe my life to her - if she hadn't talked me down, that train would have – as Rosco would say – "scuffed me beyond all repair."
Speaking of Rosco, you can't talk about Hazzard without mentioning him and Boss. I reckon y'all think I'm gonna say some awful things about them, right? Wrong! I ain't got nothing against them. Sure, they're greedy, crooked, and involved in just about every sneaky, underhanded scheme in the county, but they're honest about it.! Everybody knows they'll do just about anything for money. What very few people know is, when things get dangerous and someone is liable to get hurt or killed, they'll also do the right thing. Even to them, people are more important than money. (Although it practically kills Boss to admit it.)
Like when everybody thought my boys were dead, for example. Rosco was genuinely upset – he was even crying when he called for the ambulance. I think he really likes my family – he just wishes they would let those schemes he gets involved in work every once in a while. Like everybody else in Hazzard, Rosco knows he can count on the Dukes to help him out of trouble. Take that time he hired that Jason Steele character to get my boys locked up for him. As soon as he figured out just how dangerous Steele was, Rosco tried to call him off – Steele just wouldn't accept it. Rosco didn't want anything to happen to the boys; he just wanted them out of his hair. If Rosco had been all bad, he wouldn't have put himself in danger to save the boys.
Rosco and Enos – and Cletus when he drops by – are great fun to play with. They always give me an excuse to do what I love best- just open up and fly – a lot of times, literally! Yeah, I know, I drop 'em in the pond a lot, and run them into each other a bit, but, as any child will tell you, you're gonna get a little banged up when you've got a good game of chase going. Besides, nobody gets hurt except us cars, and we try to make sure it's nothing Cooter can't fix easy. None of us wants anybody to have to drop out of the game permanent, but we're not as delicate as our drivers. Things that look like they could just about finish us, Cooter can fix in an hour or two. That same level of damage would either finish our humans (and dogs, too – can't forget Flash!) or at least lay them up for a couple of weeks.
Now, I partly owe my existence to ol' Boss, too. After all, he did let Uncle Jesse borrow the money for the boys to buy me from that junkyard and put that engine they built in me. True, Uncle Jesse had to put up the farm and pay 15 interest, and Daisy had to go to work at the Boar's Nest in order to get the loan, but that's just Boss's way. Everything he does has to benefit him in some way. Of course, as many times as he's tried to get rid of me since that day, I don't think he figures he got enough out of the deal.
A lot of people look at Boss and see nothing but greed. Well, let me tell ya - that really is a lot of who Boss is, but it ain't all he is. He also can show a real soft side, sometimes. He just adores Lulu, for example. Sure, he fusses and carries on like he don't, but that's all an act. He would do just about anything for Miss Lulu – like the time he had Ace repossess that Rolls Royce because she wanted it. Boss actually turned down money that time, just to make his "Lambykins" happy. He even dressed in drag once to pretend to be Lulu when she and Daisy were in danger – and convinced Rosco to pretend to be Daisy. I tell ya, they made some ugly women, and they got teased about it for weeks, but they helped keep the ladies safe.
Daisy's little girl, Jessica, has Boss wrapped around her little finger, too. That child can do no wrong as far as he's concerned. I've seen Boss do things for her that I never thought I'd see – he's even giving Bo and Luke jobs this Christmas. Since Daisy got hit by that car, she can't work for a while and between that and Christmas coming, money is just about as tight as it's ever been at the farm. Boss heard about the problem and decided to put aside his differences with our family and give the boys jobs working night security at one of his warehouses. True, I doubt the truce will last long – just about as long as it takes for Boss to figure out a scheme to blame on the boys- but it does exist, for now, just because he wants Jessica's first Christmas in Hazzard to be special. Boss ain't exactly big on Christmas himself, unless he can find a way to make money of it- remember that mess with the Christmas trees he had stolen – but, he would do just about anything for his favorite nephew's daughter. So, ya see, he does have more than just a bank vault where his heart should be- you just gotta know the right combination.
Now Enos and Cletus have been friends with the boys since their daddies ran shine together. As Luke has pointed out before, just because Enos and Cletus are on the "wrong side" now, that don't mean they can't still be friends. Besides, them two are about as honest and loyal as they come – they just ain't exactly the sharpest knives in the drawer sometimes. Really, I don't think they're dumb so much as just naïve. Boss and Rosco tend to take advantage of them a lot of the time, but, really, everybody in town loves them. Boss don't really use any of his lawmen as a way to be mean to them, it's just an easy way to make a buck sometimes – or get the honest ones out of the way so he can make a buck. Any time Enos or Cletus learns about Boss's schemes – especially ones to frame Bo and Luke – they go out of their way to keep loyal to both their jobs and their friends. I've seen Enos drop by the farm on his lunch break to warn the boys, then go back to work and try to arrest them. His logic is that arresting them is his job, but his lunch is his own time, and what he does then is his own business. Poor ol' Cletus has to get even more complicated to pass on his warnings. Seeing as he's a Hogg, he has a loyalty to his family to consider- namely his "Cousin Boss" – as well as to his job and his friends. I've even seen him go to the trouble of acting the situation out to give his warnings – just so he can honestly say that he never said anything to anybody about what his cousin and his superior officer were planning.
Now, like most of the men in Hazzard, both of them boys are in love with Daisy. I would never tell him this, but Cletus is in pretty much the same boat as Cooter – Daisy looks at them like she does her cousins. That ain't to say that she don't love them, but it's about as far from a romantic love as you can get. Cooter accepted that years ago, and is just happy with what he can get – as a matter of fact, he's started looking at her kinda like a sister over the years. Poor Cletus, though, is still hoping she'll change her mind one day – and he'll be there waiting if she does. You gotta admire that boy's faith, especially after all the times she's done explained all this to him.
Enos, on the other hand, has a pretty good shot. For some reason, she does see him as a potential for romantic love. Maybe it's because he's been following her around like a puppy since the seventh grade. He's got sheer determination on his side. As a matter of fact, not too long ago, I would've agreed with everybody else and said he was a sure thing. Now, though, things have changed quite a bit. She was actually engaged to Jamie Lee Hog at one time, and she does have a child by him. Every time Jamie is mentioned, Daisy just lights up like she's got a candle inside her. No matter what she says, she still loves that boy, at least enough to give Enos some competition. Plus, she's mentioned a guy out in Greenriver a couple of times. When she talks about him, she gets this look on her face that I ain't used to seein' from her. Usually, that love struck look comes from Bo. Whenever it comes from Daisy or Luke, it really means something special. Daisy swears she and this fella are just friends, but I just don't know. Well, he's supposed to come visit, soon. It'll be interesting to see how this turns out – and what Enos's response will be. He handled the whole thing with Jamie fairly well, but he was in California at the time. This time he's here to fight for her heart, if he has to. I just hope this new guy's on the up and up. As soon as Enos gets enough information, you can be sure he'll run a check on him. If anything comes back even slightly fishy, you can bet Enos will rip him in half. He's every bit as protective of our Daisy as Bo and Luke are. You've gotta respect that. He knows he ain't necessarily number one in her heart, but she's still number one in his, and there ain't nothing gonna change that.
Now, I know I said before that I wasn't gonna talk about Vance and Coy. Well, I changed my mind. They really ain't bad boys, in their way; they just always end up in Bo and Luke's shadow. They look up to them boys like big brothers, even though Bo's younger than either of them. Vance has always wanted to be just like Luke – copying the way he walks and talks and everything. He even became a Merchant Marine so Luke would be proud of him, just cause Luke was a Marine. He tried to take up boxing like Luke used to do, but he was so bad at it that Luke convinced him to give it up before he got killed. Of course, that ain't exactly how he put it. He gave Vance some long speech about hating to fight or even box unless he had to because he didn't want anybody getting hurt. I guess it worked; Vance gave up on boxing right after that.
The happiest I've ever seen Vance was the day Bo and Luke came home from the racing circuit. Luke and Vance were standing next to me talking when Luke glanced into my backseat and found a piece of paper Vance had left there. Vance had been fooling around one day when we were hiding out from Rosco and wound up sketching a pretty good likeness of me, with Coy leaning on my hood looking out over the pond. Poor Vance was so embarrassed when Luke unfolded it that he looked like he might pass out! Once Luke started telling him how well done it was and that he never could have done it himself, though, Vance just lit up like somebody started a fire inside him. Just knowing that Luke was proud of something he had done and thought he had talent kept that boy's feet from touching the ground for a week! Now he's stopped hiding his attempts and draws just about everything in sight, especially if Luke's around to see him.
Luke thinks that drawing he found was Vance's first try. He don't realize that Vance had been doing them for years – he just hid them, figuring his cousins would make fun of him. You know, to be so smart, them boys are pretty dense sometimes.
Now, Coy's relationship with Bo is a little different – a little more complicated. See, with Bo being the youngest, Coy ain't about to admit to looking up to him. Instead, Coy wants Bo to look up to him and want to be like him. That's part of why Coy became a test driver. He knew Bo had always been fascinated with cars, so he figured that, by getting a car lover's dream job, maybe he would fascinate Bo, too. Poor Coy didn't realize that Bo's dream has always been NASCAR. Test driving is great, but Bo needs the screaming fans and the competition.
Coy likes cars, of course, but test driving ain't exactly his dream, neither. No, as much as he would deny it, Coy really wants to follow in Uncle Jesse's footsteps someday. He let it slip one day when we drove past the old Jensen place. He got this look on his face that I'd never seen from him before, when he noticed the for sale sign. At first, I thought he was just sad at the thought of out of town folks moving in and probably destroying the place. Then he said, "Ya know, if I had the money, I'd buy that place. It's close to Uncle Jesse, and it's almost as good a tract of farmland as our place." He went on and on, telling me all about the crops he would plant, and the animals he would bring in – and the little still out back after Bo and Luke got off probation. Running shine again would keep his driving from getting rusty. I ain't never heard so much passion and pleasure in that boy's voice as when he was dreaming up that farm. Uncle Jesse would have been so proud if he'd heard all those plans. Well, maybe not all of them. I don't know how well the still idea would go over. I think he's always gonna be scared of something happening to send his boys to prison – and, since running shine is what almost put them in there in the first place, that will always be what he worries about most.
Coy really just wants somebody to be proud of him, I think. He has always tried to turn himself into somebody else – whoever he thinks his family or his friends want him to be.What's really sad is, he ain't never realized that, not only is his family proud of him now, but they would be even prouder if he was himself instead of a puppet. That goes for Vance, too. I know everybody says my boys will never grow up, but at least they know who they are – and they ain't ashamed to be themselves, no matter what anybody else thinks. If Vance and Coy are gonna copy them, I wish they would copy that part of their personalities.
Okay, I know, I'm a bit long winded sometimes – it's just so hard to get anybody to listen to a car, ya know? I just ask that y'all bear with me for a little while longer, okay? Besides, we ain't even really talked about the two most important people in my life, yet – my boys.
Most people think Bo is a completely open book. Well, I ain't gonna lie to you, in a lot of ways, he is. If something makes him happy or he loves somebody, he's gonna make sure the whole world knows it in no uncertain terms. Of course, the world also knows when he's mad or just been pushed that one step too far. What a lot of people don't realize is that he has a pretty good brain going for him, too – he just figures it's easier to let Luke do most of the thinking and planning for both of them. That ain't such a bad idea, really – play to your strengths – Luke is a lot better at being sneaky. Actually, Bo is just a little too impulsive for his own good – if he sees a problem, he's just gonna jump in with the first thing that pops into his head and hope for the best. Sometimes, though, he surprises everybody. Like when Daisy left when she got pregnant. What nobody knows – including Daisy – is that me and Bo actually found her about a month after she left. Earl Tompkins, an old friend of Bo's from high school, had just moved to Greenriver from Atlanta, and Bo was heading over to see his new place. Well, we got lost – actually, I never had any idea where we were supposed to be, after all, Bo didn't tell me – and ended up stopping at Miss Mary's Café for Bo to get something to eat and figure out where he went wrong. It just so happened that Miss Daisy was working at Miss Mary's at the time. When Bo heard her talking to a man a couple of tables over, he made sure that she seemed to be alright – and that she wasn't going to be his waitress. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to her, he just felt like she would figure that he was checking up on her if she saw him. Like I said before, them boys don't like to get Daisy riled up – if she wanted to prove something to herself or just needed time on her own, he wasn't about to interfere, as long as she was okay. Of course, he is Bo, after all – he did leave an extra tip on one of Daisy's tables before he left, just to make sure she wasn't short-changed. He just can't resist helping out somebody he loves.
As soon as we were moving again, Bo started talking to me nonstop about how great she looked and how much he missed her. I figured that we would be heading right back to Hazzard to pick up Luke and come back to get her, but Bo just kept on to where we were going. He said that he had realized that Jesse was right – she would come back when she was good and ready. I tell ya – I was real proud of that boy that day. (Of course, I figure there was also the small matter of his not wanting somebody to call the police if he tried to force her to come with him, but you take maturity where you can get it!)
Most people figure that I have the most in common with Bo, if only because he's usually the one driving me. Well, we do have a lot in common – we both love to drive fast and take impressive shortcuts, and we hate to sit still for long periods – but, I relate to Luke in ways that I never could with Bo. Luke has always understood my dark side, partly because he has one, too. Now, we both keep them hidden as much as possible – as much as I love to race, that's just all in fun, but neither of us likes to fight unless we got a good reason. (Serious racing is kind of like fighting for humans, it's all about proving yourself.) There was a time for both of us, though, when that wasn't the case. Most of y'all know that, before I became a Duke, I was used in a pretty big jewel robbery. Yes, I had been stolen for that, but the thing is, the dude stole me from himself! He figured that, if anybody identified me, he could just say that I had been stolen and nobody would have looked at him for it again. (Pretty smart thinking, if he hadn't gone and got his self caught while driving me.) Well, I hadn't had the benefit of a good family at that time, so I just thought that was how things were supposed to go. I kind of reflected the personality of whoever I belonged to. In some ways, I guess I still do – I mean, I'm a lot like the boys, now – but, I have my own personality now, too.
Luke wasn't quite as bad as I was, from what I've heard, but he did give poor old Jesse fits when he was younger. He was real stubborn - everything had to be his way or no way. According to Jesse, if somebody said it was cold outside, Luke would insist it was hot and nothing would do but he had to wear his sorts and t-shirts – even if there was snow on the ground! That boy had an awful temper, too. He just about killed Bo with a baseball bat one time – there's still a hole in the wall near the door to their room where Bo hit his head trying to get away. They don't really talk about that day a whole lot, but I think they were fighting over some girl. Needless to say, Jesse was less than happy with the whole thing – which meant Luke wasn't real happy in the end either. All Luke has said is that he ate a lot of meals off the mantle for awhile after that.
Apparently, Luke didn't really calm down until he joined the Marines. It gave him some way to focus all of the anger he had been feeling for so long. Being away from his family for so long helped him to realize just how important they are to him. In a lot of ways, he had always been afraid to let himself get too close to anybody after his parents died. The anger was a way to make sure that everybody stayed at arm's length, so that he would never have to feel that pain again. Now, though, I sometimes wonder if he does a little too good a job hiding his feelings. I mean, really, how often do you see Luke just get mad and let the world know it? Or let anyone know when he starts falling for somebody? Or let anybody know how he feels about anything, really? No, that's more Bo's style.
I really think that's why it hit Luke so hard when that drug got dumped in Hazzard Pond. You know, the one that made him such a jerk to everybody for a while. I kinda wonder if that ain't how Luke woulda been if he hadn't had Uncle Jesse. Not necessarily the whole bank robbery thing, just the destroying folks' stuff for the fun of it and trying to force the women to go out with him whether they wanted to or not. After all, that drug didn't really plant those ideas in his head, it just made it harder for him to repress them. Yeah, I know, I went along with him in most of that stuff, but, you gotta remember, I had been given a pretty hefty dose in my radiator, too. I don't know how Luke feels about it all, but it was kinda fun for me to let go for a while – not worry about what anybody else thought or felt or what was right or wrong – just what I wanted to try. I felt kinda bad about it all afterwards, of course. I mean, really, that just isn't who I am anymore, but at least nobody got hurt - and all of the property damage was fixable. Plus, everybody forgave Luke for his part in the whole thing – he was drugged, he didn't know what he was doing. Nobody thought they may need to forgive me, too – I'm just a car after all, no real control over anything I do, according to most folks.
I guess y'all figure that all I have to say about Luke is the bad stuff, huh? Well, that ain't so. There are plenty of good things he has done over the years that don't nobody else know about but me – I was just trying to figure out if he would mind me telling y'all about some of them. He's just a bit shy in some ways, ya know, and, like I said before, it ain't really my style to betray a confidence.
There was one time that he might not mind y'all knowing about, though. Luke and me was heading home from Atlanta after his Marine corps reunion a couple of years ago. It was the day before Thanksgiving and there was so much traffic on the road that I almost didn't see the car until we passed it. Luke noticed it pretty quickly, though – or maybe it would be closer to the truth to say that he noticed her pretty quickly. Now, anybody that knows my boys know that they ain't about to pass somebody in trouble – especially a beautiful blonde with brown eyes spilling tears. I wasn't really paying any attention to what she said to Luke, but Ginger, her car told me that it had been a rough couple of weeks.
Lisa's husband was abusive – had been since right after they got married – but she had finally gotten up the courage to leave him. They were heading to Florida to try to find a place near her parents, but Ginger just couldn't seem to move anymore. She had pushed herself just as far as she could, for Lisa's sake, but her engine just kept getting weaker and weaker, no matter what she did. Fortunately, it only took Luke about five minutes to fix the problem once he found it. (Of course, it took him about ten minutes to find it – too bad we didn't have Cooter along.)
As Luke worked on Ginger, she told me a little more about their situation. Lisa had been scared to use any of her credit cards or write any checks – apparently she had seen a movie where a woman's husband used those things to track down his wife and ended up killing her. I don't know if she was overreacting or not, but I have to admit, something about the way Ginger talked about it sent a chill down my crankshaft! I didn't blame poor Lisa for being scared – I think she had been afraid that her husband was looking for her then and might come down that very road any minute. (I know that thought crossed my mind.) No wonder she was crying when we stopped.
Like I said, I wasn't really paying the humans any attention, so I don't know how much of the story she told Luke, but, apparently it was enough to make him feel sorry for her. When he got in Ginger to try to start her and make sure he had fixed the problem, he dropped all the money he had with him on the passenger seat. True, it was only about thirty dollars, but it probably got her a little closer to her destination. He invited her to come to the farm for supper, since we were right outside of Hazzard, but she just wouldn't. She said that she had to keep going – she was behind schedule already. I just hope that things worked out for Lisa and Ginger. Everyone deserves a good life, don't ya think?
Anyway, that's my family in a nutshell. They ain't exactly perfect, but they try hard, for the most part. I like that about them. Perfection is boring! We need a few flaws in this world to keep things interesting.
Well, I hate to run, but I see my boys coming this way, and I do believe I hear sirens in the distance. Just another normal day in Hazzard – and I wouldn't have it any other way. Maybe you could do me a favor, though, don't be so quick to dismiss us as "just cars" next time. Take the time to say thanks to the cars in you life – you never know just how hard they may be working to keep you safe.
