The Easter Shrek

Yay, my first fanfic. One-shot. This is a story based around Shrek's Easter and what Donkey's gotten him into. Enjoy!

"Donkey...are you sure this is gonna work?" Shrek groaned in disappointment when the head was finally attached. He looked in the mirror and saw a giant pink rabbit staring back at him.

"Don't worry Shrek old pal, I've seen many guys with a fat butt like yours pull a stunt like this successfully!" A hyper-active Donkey was sitting next to him with a Donkey-ear to Donkey-ear grin.

"Watch your mouth, Donkey..." The green ogre's emotions always linked to one particular trait; his rage. With a rabbit mask stuck to his head, Shrek found it incredibly painful as the two bunny ears were killing his own ogre ears, stretching them in torture. Shrek was therefore fighting to urge to scream out, breathing in and out heavily.

"I look like YOU, Donkey! What the hell!"

They were stuck in Fiona's castle bathroom, in the Kingdom of Far Far Away. Donkey had been tending to Shrek, trying to fit the Easter Bunny costume on him. Bits of pink and make-up were scattered across the tiled floor. Donkey's ecstastic expressions and Shrek's disapproving demeanour had caused countless arguments, and now the place was a total MESS.

"Alright! Now time for the rabbit body!" Donkey used the edges of his hooves to grab onto the huge swimsuit that was covered in pink fur. If Shrek was to be the Easter bunny, he had to look perfect!

"C'mon, Donkey! We've spend half an hour trying to put that stupid mask on my head. I just want to be the ogre who's supposed to scare people outta their wits while they're enjoying their food!"

"You're always like that, Shrek, the party pooper. Come on and have some fun, man!"

The water was threatening to gush out of the kettle... But Shrek growled through gritted teeth, "What fun? There isn't ANY fun in this!"

Donkey tutted. "You sure you wanna be tied up to a leash so that the security can keep their eye on you? And I thought you were doing this for Fiona, man!"

"For Fiona? Are you kidding me? She wouldn't see me in this outfit for as long as she lives! Hell, she'll even laugh to death by one glance at me! ARGH!"

Shrek was getting really ratty and pissed off. "Whoa, whoa, cool it there, tiger," Donkey exclaimed, backing away on his sliding chair. Shrek's agitation was obscured by a silly happy rabbit face, and he couldn't help but snigger as the rabbit ears and mouth flapped in the ogre's anger. "I'm sure she wouldn't mind –"

But the hot water scalded and drowned Donkey's words as the green kettle began to spill.

"YOU MUST BE CRAZY, DONKEY! THE OUTFIT ISN'T GOING TO DISGUISE ME AT ALL, BECAUSE IT'LL SPLIT ONCE I STAND UP! WASTING HOURS OF MY TIME TRYING TO CONDUCT A PLAN WHICH DOESN'T WORK..."

"Oh boy...more of his rants..." muttered Donkey.

"...AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THE SMELL, HUH?" Shrek had paused abruptly for breath, panting.

"I thought that's what perfume was used for", smirked Donkey.

"Well, looks like your smart-ASS logic is rebutted by this stink! I am gonna smell all day, no matter what ya do, cause I'M AN OGRE! SO TAKE YOUR STUPID IDEAS AND SHOVE THEM UP THE SEWERS! NO PERFUME IS GOING TO STOP ME STINKING IN THE SUIT ALL DAY! ROAR!"

Without a word, the giant green fiend stood up from his chair and did the following:

1. SMACK. Shrek's abrupt ascent from the chair meant that the ceiling light was smashed as the rabbit collided head-on. Bits of glass flew everywhere and Donkey's ear was cut in the process. Fortunately, the collision only dazed Shrek a bit (thanks to his rabbit mask) and he was not fried by the light beams nor pierced by glass.

2. With an almighty tug, a giant green hand ripped the rabbit head out of its misery and it was flushed down the toilet bowl.

3. Shrek pushed away Donkey's reclining chair and strode towards the door. At this point, Donkey heard the sound of flushing. The chair overturned and hit the shelf full of perfume bottles. The bottles fell to their deaths and stained the pearl floor with their contents.

4. Smack! Again, Shrek's head hit something. This time it was the frame of the bathroom doorway. And this time his head was unprotected. Surprise washed over Shrek as he felt himself tumbling down in unconsciousness.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Donkey exclaimed...

"MY HAT!" As the mask swirled down in the giant basin of the lavatory, Donkey used his hoof to hold the mask in its place. The hat was defying the forces of both the torrent sucking it inside the pipe and Donkey's hoof pinning it to the basin wall.

"The door slowly slid open and Princess Fiona's green pudgy face peeked into the bathroom. She could not believe her eyes, as she slowly looked up from the stained, azure bathroom floor.

At the bottom, her beloved Shrek was lying face down with two red, angry lumps on his head. The giant green ogre had been knocked unconscious and bits of fabric had been torn from his ears. Fiona's eyes raked upwards to find many perfume, shampoo and lipstick bottles toppled over; half of them smashed on the floor. The mirror was smashed and hundreds of cracks reflected her face more than a thousand times. However, the most disturbing sight was Donkey: sitting in the recliner chair with one of his arms in the toilet bowl, suppressing the movement of an object in the water, seemingly oblivious to any of the chaos that surrounded him.

Fiona couldn't take it anymore; she fainted on the floor on top of Shrek.

"Gotcha!" Donkey had skilfully flipped the wet mask onto his head. The faces of the rabbit mask and Donkey's were indistinguishably similar; it was as though Donkey had dyed himself pink.