The Things You Don't Know About Me

AN: This is something that just popped into my mind while watching Episode 3x18. I guess before this I didn't realize how much Parker bugged me but obviously she does. Not so much Parker hate just maybe what I wish Logan would have said to her to set her straight kind of she seemed kind of selfish when he told her the trip was canceled.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own VM's I just wish things would have happened differently. This is one example.
_

"Hey I was just going to call you. I told my parents and they freaked out!" I hear Parker say "It was the best feeling." Great she's already told her perfect parents and she's excited, this should go well. "What's wrong?"
"The trips off." I tell her "Dick's dad came back into town and he can't go." I finish as I walk into her dorm room.
"Oh." Way to be subtle Parker. I can hear your disappointment. "So…I guess we're not going then?"
"He was footing half the bill for the house and it would be really expensive." I tell her. Of course we can't go did she not hear me. Dick's dad is back.
"Well why don't we go somewhere else, maybe to Jackson Hole or something less expensive." She suggests.
"Parker I said Dick's dad is back. I can't go anywhere this summer." I tell her. She obviously is a dumber blonde than what I thought.
"I don't get why his dad being back has to affect your summer?" she lays into me. "Or is it you are just happy to have a reason to not have to spend time with me."
"God Parker insecure much?" I yell. "You know the world doesn't revolve around you."
"No but does revolve around your precious first love right?" she says. She doesn't even know about Lilly so she must be talking about Veronica. "You know Logan she isn't coming back to you. What is it going to take for you to forget about stupid Veronica Mars?"
"First of all, you don't know anything about me." I tell her. I was really hoping this wasn't going to turn out like this but I guess that's what I get for hoping right.
"I know that you are still crazy about Veronica and even though she is with Piz now and you pretend to be with me that you will never be over her." She yells.
"No what I mean is Veronica wasn't my first love." I say without even thinking. "How much do you think you know about any of us from high school because in case you have forgotten you and Piznarski are kind of new to this group?" I tell her.
"What's to know? You and Veronica are these star crossed freaking lovers that are never going to part." She yells again.
"Her name was Lilly." Is all I say. I knew that none of us had really told her any information about the past couple of years. Not Veronica, or Mac, or Dick and least of all me.
"What?" she looks more confused than before.
"My first love's name was Lilly. Veronica wasn't my first love. Her best friend, Lilly was." I look at her and tell that she is shocked. "Lilly Kane."
"The girl that was murdered a few years back?" she asks.
"We meet when we were twelve and from that day on it were the four of us against the world." I tell her.
"Four?" she asks
"Lilly, her brother Duncan whom was my best friend, myself, and Veronica." I tell her. "Veronica has been a part of my life for a long time but she wasn't my first love. And what I still feel for Lilly will never be touched. Not even by my precious Veronica as you call her can touch the place in my heart that belongs to Lilly."
"I don't understand why you are telling me this?" she says even more confused.
"Because I realized that there is so much about our group that you don't know, That you need to know in order to understand why I have to be here this summer for Dick, so if you are ready I will start when I moved to Neptune at age 12."
"Okay." She says as she scoots back onto her bed more making room for me to sit down.
"The first day I say her or I should say them they were playing soccer. And I tell you what they were two girls that knew how to rock new socks."
FLASHBACK
I can't believe that my dad decided that this would be the best place to move. Yeah it's still close to LA but really what's the appeal. At least it's close to the ocean. Right?
"Hey what's your name?" I hear a blonde girl yell at me.
"Logan? Who are you?" I ask her as she and another girl approach me.
"I am Lilly and this is Veronica." She says. "And just so you know. You're going to love me some day."
"Is that right?" I say kind of shocked at her boldness.
"Yep. Just trust me on that Logan."
END FLASHBACK
"I still don't understand why you feel the need to share?" Parker says. Half ignoring her I continued on.
"By time we were in Junior high we were insuperable and we ruled the school. Something that didn't change all through high school. We decided who was in, who was out, and over all how everyone was treated." I tell her. "I am not proud of the way some things happened but at the time it was the way things were." How am I going to explain the next stage without breaking down? Heck Veronica knew the history and we still shed tears about it. "But when I was in 8th grade Lilly and I started dating. We shared a lot of firsts. Along with breaking each other's hearts a few times. I told Veronica one time before we started dating that while I loved Lilly she loved guys. Oh boy was that ever the truth." I look at Parker to find she is lost in the story so I continue. "My sophomore year of high school Lilly and I were in another period of break up and I knew she was seeing someone else but what I didn't know is the two she was seeing."
"She cheated on you with two other guys?" She asks.
"Well I guess you could call Weevil another guy…" I didn't get to finish before she interjected a comment.
"Eli Navarro?" she says "That Weevil?"
"One and the same. But the other person she was cheating on me with wasn't a person at all, he was the devil." I can see she is confused by this statement "Something many people don't know is that my father abused me for the greater portion of my life. You see this scare?" I ask pointing to the half-moon that was about a half an inch from my eyebrow. "Daddy dearest got upset and threw an ash tray at me. I have dozens more but back to Lilly, the devil she was sleeping with was my father."
"OH my god!" she says shocked. "How could she do that to you?"
"He was the one and only Aaron fucking Echolls. And she was a fan. Despite the fact that she knew what he had done to me." I say. "My father is the one that murdered Lilly."
"What?" she says. "I thought it was some guy named Abel?"
"No, that's who the Kane's paid off. Lilly had found sex tapes my father had made of them, she stool them and hid them from him. He got pissed and struck her with an ash tray. Of course he got acquitted so he was out at the time of his own murder but back on track. After Lilly was murdered Duncan slipped into this dark whole and I personally turned the entire school against Veronica." I said assumed of myself.
"I don't get it. You love her I have seen it with my own two eyes. How did you turn everyone against her?" She asks me.
"In the high school everyone bowed down to the King of the 09ers. Once Duncan slipped away I was the one everyone looked to and I was pissed at Veronica's family after her dad had accused Lilly's dad of her murder. So for a year and a half I lead the attacks against her. The girl you know today is a product of what she had to do to protect herself from us." I said
"There has to be more so please do continue. I imagine her rape is coming up. I mean I know that it happened in 2003 just because of what she said."
"She told you about the rape?" now it was my turn to be surprised.
"Not really just that it had happened. She told me right after my rape." She tells me.
"Yeah while I was turning everyone against her she was raped. But when she figured out who had done it we found out that it had been consensual or at least the one we found out about our junior year. "I tell her. "But like I said there's more. When my mother committed suicide during junior year I hired Veronica to help me prove she was alive. Even after everything I had done to her she helped me. It was a ballsy move but that's just who she is. Soon after that she and I started dating, but we didn't last long. We dated the summer before senior year and she stood by my side when I was accused of murder."
"You were accused of murder?" she says surprised
"Like I said you don't know me at all. His name was Flex Tombs. He was in the PCH bike club with Weevil and no I didn't do it. But I retaliated against the PCHer's for even accusing me. So Dick, Cassidy and I all pulled these pranks all summer long."
"Who's Cassidy?" Parker asks. "I have heard Mac scream that name before in her sleep."
"We will get to him in a minute." I tell her and it breaks my heart to hear that Mac is still so pained over losing him. Maybe Mac and Dick need to talk about it. "Veronica wasn't happy with myself destruction matter of fact she broke up with me because of it. After that I made another grave mistake."
"Go on?" She says waiting to hear the rest.
"Well you see there was this older woman." I tell her.
"Older Woman?" she says with a raised eyebrow
"Yes her name was Kendall…. Kendall Casablancas." I say
"Dick's sister?" she says a little hopeful but I shake my head. "Please tell me it wasn't his mother?" she says with a look of discuss.
"No but close Step-mother. We had an ongoing affair for about 6 months. And when Veronica found out about it she had about that same look you do. But at the time I didn't care she had gone back to Duncan and I was just looking to get laid, and as wrong as it was Kendall was a very willing participant."
"Logan that's just wrong. She was your best friend's step-mom." She tells me.
"Do you want me to continue?" I ask her. She just nods. "Soon after senior year started there was a field trip to the Baseball stadium. Well on the way back the bus crashed over a cliff and into the ocean below. It killed the bus driver, the journalism teacher and all put one of the students on impact."
"That's terrible." She says.
"Yeah well it was even worse for me at the time. I was at the Casablancas' with Kendall when the news came in on the TV. As far as I knew all of my friends where dead, or at least the one's that I cared about."
"What do you mean?" she asked
"Well as far as I knew Dick, Duncan, Cassidy, Meg, and Veronica had been on that bus." I tell her. "What I didn't know was that Big Dick, that's Dick's Dad, had sent a limo so all of the 09ers were of the bus except Meg and Veronica. When the bus stopped at the gas station for a few minutes Veronica missed getting back on the bus because as I would later find out that Lilly's ghost had called to her. Lilly saved her. Or at least that's what I always believe." I tell her.
"You were really close to losing her." She says.
"Yeah and that's not the first or the last time. My dad tried to kill her when she discovered he had murdered Lilly but that's going backwards. After the bus crash Veronica become obsessed with finding out who was responsible. And when she did it wasn't pretty." I tell her.
"Okay go on." She prompts.
"Cassidy "Beaver" Casablancas. Dick's baby brother." I say.
"Could this be the same Cassidy that Mac has nightmares about?" she asks. I was really hoping that Mac had told her at least a little about Cassidy but I guess no such luck.
"One and the Same. See Cassidy was kind of opposite of Dick. He was quiet and kind of reserved. He tended to shy away from the 09ers and really smart. But all at the same time he held dark secrets. Almost a year ago when the truth finally came out about the bus crash Cassidy was Dating Mac. It was graduation night and he had gotten them a hotel room but what none of us really knew at the time was that Cassidy's past was quickly catching up with him. I can remember it like it was last night. Veronica showed up at the grad party looking for Mac and Beaver. When we had told her they were already up in a room she seemed worried but none of us seemed too concerned. We weren't together at the time but somehow she ended up on the roof with Cas. She had figured out that he was the one behind the bus crash, he blew up the mayors plane, which to all of our knowledge mister Mars was on, he was the one that raped Veronica, and his last task before he went to the roof was that he had left Mac in a room while she was in the shower with nothing more than a shower curtain. When he got to the roof and discovered how much Veronica knew he wanted her to jump off the roof. She had sent me a text message and I was up to the roof in no time. By time I got the gun out of her hands he was on the ledge of the roof. I yelled at him to not do it. Do you want to know what he asked me?" I said trying to fight back the tears from that night.
"What?" she asked.
"Why not? He wanted me to give him a reason to not jump. I couldn't think of anything fast enough. One minute I was looking in to the eyes of one of my best friends in the next second he was gone one second after that we heard glass break and a car alarm go off. He was gone. I had known Cassidy since he was 10. I had spent a lot of time hanging around the pool with him and Dick and when his father was exposed for embezzlement I was with Dick and Cassidy trying to pick up the pieces of their lives. Why couldn't I think of anything? Of course I didn't have much time to reflect on that because the next second we were running to check on Mac. My heart broke when I saw her in that corner crying. It broke even more when Veronica had to tell her he was dead. It shattered when I realized I had to find Dick and tell him before anyone else could. He needed to get the news from someone who cared about both of them"
I stopped for just a moment.
"If you don't want to continue you don't have to." She tells me.
"No I'm almost done. When I found Dick in the ball room in the middle of the party I knew he would never be the same. "I explained.
FLASHBACK
"Dick!" I yell as I run up to my best friend praying no one had been outside. "Dude you need to come with me now."
"What's up Logan?" he said "I thought you were calling it a night?"
"Come on." I didn't want to tell him in a room full of people but I knew that the cops would be here soon and that Don Lamb wouldn't be as nice as me.
"Dude what's up?" He asked as we stood in the lobby I didn't have much time I knew that the cops would be here in a few minutes so I just laid it on him.
"It's about Cassidy?" I said not even thinking about calling him by his name rather than the nickname he hated so much.
"What's wrong with the Beav?" Dick asked
"Sorry Dick I didn't know what to tell him?" I said
"What are you talking about?" Dick asked
"He's gone man." I tell him just as Don Lamb approaches us.
"Richard Casablancas Jr. what can you tell me about your involvement with the bus crash?" Lamb asked.
"Dude I think that you are higher than usual I don't know shit about the bus crash." Dick tells him.
"Did you know of your brother's plans to jump off the roof of the hotel tonight?" Lamb asks him
"What are you talking about?" he looks at me "Logan what's going on?"
"Mr. Echolls you will have to come with us to the station. You to Mr. Casablancas you will need to come and ID your brother's body. Has anyone seen Veronica Mars? I have some questions for her." Lamb walked away in search of Veronica.
END FLASHBACK
"Do you understand now why I can't leave Dick this summer?" I ask Parker
"Let me get this straight first. The bus crash was caused by Dick's little brother. Who also happened to be dating Mac?" she asks.
"Yes. Do you get now why I can't leave Dick? His dad showing up like this is a surprise the asshole didn't even come home for Cassidy's funeral. He didn't call. Nothing, this is the first time that Big Dick has been home since he found out that I was plowing his wife and that his Ponzi scheme was about to come into light nearly two years ago. I can't throw Dick to the wolf pack." I tell her. "I can't and I am sorry if you think that it's about Veronica. But to tell you the truth she will probably be with me most of the summer when she finds out he is here. Her and Mac both. See when Cassidy Jumped he tied the four of us together forever. Dick and Mac were the only two people that truly loved him and Veronica and I were the last people to see him alive no matter what happens we will be connected and if you think that I am canceling summer plans just because of Veroinca. Maybe we shouldn't be together because no matter what there will always be a place in my heart for Veroinca Mars." Without even thinking I get up and walk out of the room. And dial that similar number on my cell.
"Hey Veroinca it's me. Big Dick is back in town. Do you want to call Mac and meet me at the Grand? I think that Dick is going to need us all." Even though we were in the middle of a fight and I knew that Dick had pissed Mac off and they weren't speaking I knew that this would bring us all together.

an: so this just came to me like I said before I don't know if it really makes any sense but it is what it is. I might write another one similar to this about Mac's reaction to Big Dick being back but I do have another fix started it's just a matter of getting typed up. Also I was going to do this as a one shot but if anyone is interested in my continuing it as a multi chapter let me know. *LazzyMae