Author's Note: Happy Halloween! I hope you enjoy this Cheers high school AU… I'm thinking of writing a larger fic eventually that'll explore this AU more in-depth, but we'll see. This was just my chance to test the waters with it first.
Ghosts, ghouls, and goblins ruled the streets for one night a year in the wealthy gated community where families like the Gaines' and Chambers' called home. Kelly Gaines' parents had recently separated, and with her father at an all-night party at the country club with his new girlfriend and her mother out of town, Diane Chambers, a neighbor in high school, agreed to babysit the rambunctious six-year-old for the evening.
Diane had tried her best to make a good impression on the girl, as her first-time babysitter. She even dressed up as a cat, complete with all black slim-fitting clothes, a cat ear headband, and painted-on whiskers. Kelly didn't seem overly impressed, as she was donning an expensive, pink, and frilly princess outfit, complete with a crown.
"She's always been my little princess, and always will be," Diane recalled Mr. Gaines saying as he headed out the door in a rush.
Moments after her father had left, little Kelly Gaines was anything but poised and princess-like. The evening was filled with temper tantrums and screaming, so much so that Diane was developing a migraine. They had almost made it back to the Gaines' residence after the long night after trick-or-treating before six-year-old Kelly Gaines planted her feet and refused to move any farther.
"I don't wanna go home yet!" she shrieked, throwing her pink and glittery princess wand down onto the sidewalk. "My candy bag isn't even full!"
"Kelly, I already told you, it's getting really late, and almost everyone has stopped giving out candy! Your bag is three quarters full, and that's enough!" her frustrated babysitter explained.
Kelly wasn't having any of it, instead letting out a blood-curdling shriek.
"Kelly, please. It's time to go home—"
"NO! I don't want to!" tears started streaming down her cheeks. "You won't let me do anything when we get there. You already said no scary movies…"
"Hey, now. Your father was the one that said no scary movies. I'm just following his rules."
"So what else is there?" she questioned before sniffling loudly.
"We could… sort through your candy, and if you behave, I'll let you have some tonight?" Diane offered.
Kelly thought for a moment, scuffing her Mary Jane shoes on the sidewalk. "Yeah, okay. But there's one thing I haven't gotten a chance to do yet, and reeeeally want to!"
"And what's that?"
"Carve pumpkins!" she exclaimed, waving her tiny arms, almost dumping her candy into the street. "Daddy kept saying he was going to help me carve one, but he never did!"
"Oh, um, I'm not sure if we'd—" Diane began.
"I WANNA CARVE A PUMPKIN!" Kelly demanded, tears welling in her eyes again.
Diane knew that Kelly was having a difficult time with her parents' recent separation, but the girl had been acting erratic all night. Diane secretly hoped that she didn't act the same way herself when her parents had divorced when she was young.
"Oh, okay. We'll go back to your house, and we'll get a pumpkin to carve," Diane huffed, taking Kelly's hand. "Let's go."
Diane weighed her options on the way back to the Gaines' roaring estate. She could either call someone and beg them to pick up a couple of pumpkins and bring them over, or she could just keep her promise about the candy and forget all about the pumpkins and hope Kelly did the same. Judging by how the rest of the evening had gone, Kelly wasn't bound to forget about any broken promises. The last thing Diane needed was Kelly to run crying to her father when he returned home.
After she checked out some of Kelly's candy, she went to find a telephone, leaving the girl to her own devices on the living room sofa with a handful of chocolate candies. Diane had snagged a small Snickers bar from the bag herself, which she tried her best to eat quietly as she dialed the phone. After trying the home numbers of five of her closest friends, she realized it was no use. No one was answering, because they obviously had better things to do than babysit a bratty rich kid on Halloween night.
She twirled the phone cord around her finger a few times and mulled over her options once again, when suddenly it hit her: Sam Malone! Sam had been trying desperately for months to impress her enough so they could be more than "just friends." If she sweetened the pot by offering to help him with his History homework, he was bound to say yes, right? She dialed his number and listened as it rang and rang. She closed her eyes and prayed that he would pick up.
"Hello?" a familiar young man's voice answered.
"Hello, is this Sam?" she asked nervously. She hoped it wasn't his incredibly attractive older brother, Derek, whom she had heard was home from college, because she knew she'd stumble over her words and make a fool of herself.
"Yeah? This is Sam. Who is this?"
"Diane Chambers."
"Well hi, Diane," she could hear his smug smirk through the phone.
"Hi Sam. Listen, can you do me a favor?"
"Is that what they call it these days?" he said with a guttural laugh.
"Oh, come on!" her face soured. "I just need… help with something."
"What is it, sweetheart?"
She placed her hand over the receiver and groaned, rolling her eyes. She had to admit, the guy was smooth.
"I'm babysitting this girl, and she's going to throw a tantrum if I don't get her a pumpkin to carve. I was wondering if you were busy, or if you could possibly pick up a pumpkin and bring it over? I'll help you get an A on the History exam if you help me out here."
There was a long pause.
"Sam?" she asked finally.
"Uh, yeah. By pumpkin, do you mean—"
"Pumpkin is not a euphemism for anything. I need a large, orange, festive garden vegetable. That's it."
"Whoa, Diane. You didn't have to make it sound so… dirty."
She slapped her forehead, which he heard on the other end.
"I'll be over in a few minutes, right after I get these kids off the porch."
"Okay, thank you. I guess."
"No, thank you!" she heard him say before hanging up.
She wandered back down the hallway, and before reaching the living room she caught a glimpse of herself in a full-length mirror. Her face paint was smeared, her cat ears were cockeyed, and she looked downright tired. She suddenly decided she needed to improve her appearance before Sam showed up on the doorstep.
"Kelly, my friend Sam is coming over with a pumpkin. I'll be upstairs… fixing my costume. If he shows up, let him in, okay?"
Kelly flipped through the TV channels and landed on the classic Night of the Living Dead. "Daddy said I'm not allowed to let people I don't know inside."
Diane rolled her eyes, vigorously scrubbing at the thick, dark lines of face paint that had settled on her cheeks. "Fine, just tell me when he shows up."
-0-0-0-
Sam Malone kicked himself into overdrive after his short conversation with Diane. He began by greeting three trick-or-treaters with a big bowl of candy, dumping the whole thing into one kid's bucket without hesitation.
"Thanks for stopping, kid," he said, slamming the door and shutting off the lights in the doorway.
He sprinted upstairs to his bedroom and slathered himself in his favorite strong-smelling cologne, grabbed his wallet and keys, and slung his letterman's jacket over his shoulders before running out to his car parked down on the street. The engine screeched into the night with a loud rumble as he took off.
"Oh yeah, the pumpkin!" he said aloud, veering his car back to the curb.
His eyes darted from one neighbor's yard to another. Most of the pumpkins decorating their front walks and porches were carved and decorated, until he noticed a house a little farther down the block with an intact pumpkin sitting on the stoop. He crept his AMC Gremlin down the block in front of the house, and finally decided to make a run for it. If it meant getting Diane Chambers into bed, he was going to steal that pumpkin!
He grabbed the perfectly rounded pumpkin and immediately heard the family's dog barking. He tried his best to conceal the vegetable under his jacket as he sprinted back to his car, and he nearly tripped and fell when he saw the yard light come on.
"Get out of here, you bastard! That's our pumpkin!" he heard an angry man's voice holler out.
He had made it; he tossed the pumpkin into the passenger's seat and sped off, hoping that Mr. Reynolds wouldn't mention his jack-o'-lantern thievery to his parents. His heart was still pounding as he sped his way through the late-night traffic over to the wealthier end of town.
-0-0-0-
Kelly was by now curled up on the couch, hiding her eyes from the television screen with a pillow. Her classmates had told her that Night of the Living Dead wasn't that scary at all, but she was completely terrified. She was relieved when the movie went onto a commercial break.
A car door slammed in the darkness outside, and she shrieked.
"What's wrong, Kelly?!" Diane asked, rushing downstairs looking even worse for wear than before. The oily makeup was now streaked everywhere.
"I heard a loud noise outside!" she screeched, tears running down her cheeks. Diane ran to look out the window, where she saw Sam bumbling around the front gate clutching a round, orange object.
"Oh, Kelly, calm down. It's just Sam and the pumpkin you wanted!"
Kelly lunged for Diane's arm and clung to it. "No it's not! Don't let him in! It's a trap!"
"Kelly, what has gotten into y—Oh. Are you watching movies you're not supposed to?" Diane shot her a sideways glance.
"I didn't mean to, I swear! I was just flipping through the channels and the remote must have died—"
"Kelly, you're not fooling me." Diane flicked the TV off just as soon as Sam made his way onto the front porch and announced his arrival with three boisterous rings of the doorbell. Diane opened the door, and there stood Sam Malone, eyes gleaming back at her. He posed his lanky frame in the doorway and smiled.
"Cute, Diane," he began, staring at her smeared makeup and offering the pumpkin. "How nice of you to invite me."
"As you recall, I just asked for the pumpkin. And thank you very much for that."
"What? You're not going to let me in? I know I don't live in this uppity neighborhood, but I'm not…"
"No, no. You can come in," she said, quickly changing her mind. Maybe Sam would have more luck with keeping Kelly calm. She ushered him inside, and felt a tickle in her nose from the pungent smell of his cologne.
"What stinks?" Kelly asked, peeking over the back of the sofa.
"Boys," Diane said simply. Sam just smiled.
"You've got that right," Kelly enthused. "Who is he again? Your boyfriend?"
"No, he's…"
"Di-ane and Sa-m sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G," Kelly recited.
"More than that, I hope," Sam commented, receiving an elbow in the ribs from Diane.
"First comes looove, then comes marriage, then comes the—"
"No, no!" Diane ceased the girl's teasing by putting a hand over her mouth. "Please. Let's just carve the pumpkin."
"Okay!" Kelly cheered, skipping into the kitchen.
"Thank you for bringing this," Diane told Sam. "I really do appreciate it."
He shrugged. "No problem. I wasn't doing anything else anyway."
Diane mulled that over. How could one of the most popular people in school not have somewhere important to go for Halloween?
They followed Kelly into the kitchen, where she was already laying out paper towels on the table. Sam helped her with that while Diane searched for a permanent marker, a large spoon, and a sharp knife. She found all three and set them down in a line on the table in front of Sam.
"Would you like to do the honors?" she asked.
He nodded. "Sure."
The girls watched intently as he carved a large hole around the stem of the pumpkin. Kelly was perched on her knees on a chair, leaning across the table waiting for her turn to do something, where Diane was secretly watching Sam's arm muscles flex with every slice of the knife. She averted her glance back to the pumpkin when she noticed she was staring at him, hoping that he didn't notice. He twisted the top off, and looked to them both.
"How's that?" he asked, to no one in particular.
"Very nice," Diane said, picking up the spoon and handing it to Kelly. "Now here's the fun part."
"The messy part!" Kelly added excitedly, digging the large spoon into the orange inner flesh and seeds. She flung a heaping spoonful onto the paper towel, grinning.
"So Kelly, what grade are you in?" Sam asked.
"First," she answered matter-of-factly.
"Ah, first grade. I liked first grade. How about you, Diane?"
Diane just smiled and nodded. At least Sam was having more luck actually making conversation with her.
"What kinds of things are you learning in first grade?" he prodded.
"Adding, subtracting, spelling… all that sort of stuff. And we've got pen pals."
"Pen pals? Wow!" Sam said, wondering how pen pals would exactly work in first grade when the kids could barely read or write. "Who are you writing to?"
"A boy," she blushed, grinning from ear to ear.
Sam looked to Diane. "You hear that? A boy!"
"What's his name, Kelly?" Diane asked.
"Woody. He's from Indiana, and my teacher says that Indiana's miles and miles away from here."
"It is indeed," Diane affirmed.
"Well, what kinds of things do you talk about with Woody?" Sam inquired.
"Our last letter was about Halloween. Woody said he couldn't carve a jack o' lantern this year 'cause all the pumpkins got some sort of fungus. So they carved something called a rut—ruta…"
"Rutabaga?" Diane assisted.
"Yeah. He lives on a farm."
"Oh, I see," Diane said.
Kelly kept talking about the farm boy from Indiana, and how his life seemed completely different than hers. She explained all the injuries Woody's family members had that were inflicted by various forms of farm equipment.
"I mean, that must have been a lot of blood!" she exclaimed, eyes wide.
Sam nodded. "That's why you've got to be careful. Especially with stuff like knives." He waved the large knife in front of him for emphasis.
Diane checked her watch, and realized it was almost midnight.
"Oh, Kelly, it's getting late! You should be getting off to bed pretty soon!"
"Do I have to? Sam and I are talking!" she protested. Diane thought it was cute that she was already warming up to Sam so much. He must have had an appeal with women of all ages.
"Five more minutes," Diane said firmly. "You've got to get your beauty rest."
-0-0-0-
Before Kelly went to sleep, Sam let her sketch the design she wanted on the side of the pumpkin, and she picked the generic triangle eyes and nose, and a toothy grin. After Sam promised he would carve it the way Kelly wanted, Diane was finally able to put Kelly to bed upstairs after much protest. Sam continued scooping out the innards of the pumpkin at the kitchen table with his hands, and Diane finally returned after about ten minutes, with her face washed completely and her hair back into place.
"Get her to sleep?" he asked, his hands covered in orange goo.
"Yes, I did," she replied.
"She's a cute kid. It seems like she really likes that pen pal of hers, too!"
Diane sat beside him at the table, smiling. "Yes, she seems smitten."
They sat in silence for a few moments, and she watched him intently.
"So why didn't you go out tonight?" she blurted out, hoping it wouldn't be too invasive.
He smiled and shrugged. "Well, I had a date but it fell through. And Derek's home from school, so he went with my parents to some party or something, I dunno. So I kind of got stuck passing out candy tonight."
"I'm sorry to hear that your plans fell through."
"It's okay. I was actually kind of relieved when you called."
She grinned. "Well thank you for coming over and saving me from all the tantrums. I think she likes you better than me."
"I don't know why—I mean, I just talked to her, and that's it, you know?"
"I'm probably not the best at talking to young children," she admitted. "You just seem much more relaxed."
He nodded. "I try. I even got to meet Carla's son tonight, little Anthony? Boy, is he cute! Carla brought him around the whole neighborhood for candy."
"Ah, isn't he a little young for sweets?"
"Yeah, the candy was pretty much for Carla."
"And Nick?"
"She's not getting along with Nick this week, so we'll see how that works out. She claims to have heard about him kissing some girl under the bleachers at the Homecoming game."
"As much as I don't like Carla, that's really terrible."
"Yeah, the sad thing is it was only a few days after their wedding!"
"How awful!"
A few more moments of silence passed before he piped in again.
"So how exactly did you get stuck babysitting tonight?"
"Oh—Mr. Gaines asked me to at the last minute, and I said yes. This was my first time babysitting, actually."
"Well, you did a good job. And I'm sure your costume really was cute."
She patted his arm. "Thank you, Sam."
She knew that the man sitting beside her was a notorious flirt and womanizer, but she still felt oddly flattered that he was spending his Halloween with her. She started to wonder when she started to feel so giddy and nervous around Sam Malone! It was the same way she felt when she met his brother Derek her freshman year of high school when her locker was next to his. He hardly ever spoke to her, except for one time when a heavy textbook fell out of his locker and onto her foot, but she still blushed like a schoolgirl when he apologized to her.
But… Sam?! The younger Malone had little to no interest in the things both she and Derek loved, like literature, theatre, and art. And she despised baseball.
With all this thinking, she hadn't realized that he was stealing glances at her. She looked back at him until their eyes locked, then her mind reeled with the decision whether to make a move or not. Luckily, he made that decision for her.
He grabbed a towel and wiped most of the pumpkin goo off his hands, then began caressing her cheek with his fingertips. He scooted closer, never breaking eye contact.
"I like you, Diane," he said, almost in a whisper.
"I like you too, Sam." Up close, she finally noticed how blue and kind his eyes were, and it was a welcomed discovery. He lunged for her, kissing her on the lips passionately, letting his fingers tangle idly in her hair. She reciprocated by wrapping her arms around his neck. When they finally pulled away from each other for a moment, Diane watched as Sam's eyes widened.
"What?" she asked, confused.
"There's a—hold on." He touched a strand of her hair. "Pumpkin seed. In your hair. I'm sorry."
She chuckled, "That's okay!"
She began caressing his neck with kisses, and her warm breath on his skin was driving him wild.
"Can we—take this to the living room? To, you know, make out?" he asked.
"I understood your intentions, Sam, you really didn't need to tell—"
Suddenly she was swept away, being carried back to the living room in his arms. He placed her down on the couch softly, and she draped her legs across his lap. The lighting was dim and perfect as the kissing continued. It was passionate, if not a little rushed.
There was a knock at the door, and they both froze.
"What was that?" he asked.
"Probably just a trick-or-treater. It's fine," she insisted, nuzzling his neck. Sam prayed that they wouldn't be interrupted again.
The lock on the front door clicked open, and they heard footfalls padding toward the living room. Diane tried to straighten her clothes before the figure entered the room.
"What was that?!" Sam asked in a loud whisper.
The light flicked on, and they were caught.
"Diane! Who is this man?" Mr. Gaines asked sternly.
Before she could say anything, Sam got up, ran right past him, and straight out the front door to his car. Seconds later, Diane heard the car's engine roar to a start and he sped off into the night.
She successfully explained everything that had happened to Mr. Gaines, and luckily, he still decided to pay her for babysitting Kelly. He seemed much more concerned with if his "little princess" had a good time. Diane breathed a sigh of relief when she was sent home without incident.
It wasn't until she got home when she noticed her bra was no longer clasped in the back, and another pumpkin seed fell out of her hair.
"Oh, Sam!" she whispered. She had heard about his hidden talent of unclasping bras, but now she had experienced it firsthand.
And, in all honesty, it made her smile.
A/N: So… what did you think? I'd appreciate it if you hit that little "Review" button and left some words! Thanks for reading!
