A/N: What if. All the males. Of Gintama. Gathered. To play. Truth or Dare. Well, that's exactly what this story is about. This first chapter actually doesn't really even mention Truth or Dare, it's basically just setting the stage for what is to come (;
More characters will be added later on in the story.
Please enjoy! :)
Summary: Hijikata wakes up in a dark, dusty room. With Sougo as his company. His head hurts, and he has trouble remembering what happened.
Wait. Hasn't this situation already happened before?
Warning: Spoilers for Gintama Episodes 148 and 149. If you haven't watched it, you may not get some of the content in this chapter.
Wait what am I saying, if you haven't watched it, GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW. Trust me, you're missing out.
Disclaimer: Man... if I owned Gintama... *goes off into dreamland*
Chapter 1. Sometimes Time Well Spent is Time Spent Alone
Hijikata's head hurt like a bitch.
No, it was worse.
Like a bitch on her period experiencing roid rage.
That was how bad it was.
He cracked open an eye, and instead of the comfort of his room in the Shinsengumi headquarters, he was greeted with a dark, broken down room that seemed to be made out of concrete.
What?
Maybe I'm having a dream. That must be it. I'll just pinch myself, and I'll wake up in my room. Yeah, that's exactly what'll happen.
He proceeded to pinch himself on the arm –
Wait. What? What the hell? My arms… they're… restrained?
His eyes immediately snapped open as he shot up in a slight panic (slight, because he, the Demon Vice Chief never got full-out panicked – ever).
The sound of a skull cracking and metal crumpling echoed around the room, followed by a stream of loud and obscene cursing (of which will not be listed, in consideration of those who are easily offended).
"You know… somebody could have told me I was in a metal locker…" he uttered, sinking limply to his knees, blood flowing down his face. His head fucking hurt. It hurt so much you couldn't even describe it in terms of bitches and steroids anymore.
Does the author hate me? Does she have something against my head? Is something about my head offensive?
"No, I don't think it's your head Hijikata-san. Maybe it's your face, that thing is quite offensive." replied an innocent voice. A voice he knew all too well.
"Oi, Sougo. Could you not read my mind?" he growled, a vein popping on the side of his forehead, completely ready to kill the person who had just magically popped up in front of him (who, now that he thought about it, could possibly be the only person he had to help him escape from where ever the hell he was.)
"Hijikata-san, killing me won't help you in any way. And you've suffered more brain damage than I first thought, I never thought you'd become so dumb that you'd think I could help you escape… that's an all time low for you."
"Shut up! And stop reading my mind. It's kind of freaking me out."
"I'm not reading your mind, Hijikata-san." the amiable Sougo thought sincerely.
"... I don't want to read your mind either. And don't mess with the descriptions goddamnit! In what world are you amiable?" snarled the irritable, ugly, soon-to-be-ex-vice-chief.
"Didn't you know? I was always likeable." explained the kind, angelic, God-like, amazing –
"I SAID STOP MESSING WITH THE DESCRIPTIONS! And what's 'soon-to-be-ex-vice-chief' supposed to mean? Don't you even try pretending to be innocent, I'll kill you, you little son of a – "
"I don't think you're in the position to threaten me, Hijikata-san." said the brunette, pointing at Hijikata's cuffed hands.
The little sadist had a point there.
" So, uhh, where are we, Sougo?" asked the vice-chief, deliberately changing the subject back to the dilemma at hand. "How'd we get here? And how – wait. Doesn't this situation seem sort of familiar to you? Like it's happened before?"
"What could you possibly be talking about? I don't know what happened either. You must have hit your head really hard, Hijikata-san. Maybe you should sit down." the boy replied, all wide-eyed innocence.
"I'm already on the ground, I don't think I need to sit down." Hijikata groaned, struggling slowly to his feet (careful not to let anything come into contact with his head this time), and stepped out of the locker, taking in his surroundings.
The medium-sized room had one barred window, letting moonlight filter in, providing the only light source they had. It seemed his hands were cuffed behind his back, with a fairly long chain leading back into the locker he was lying in. The room appeared to be surrounded by lockers, excluding the wall with the window on it, and the wall opposite that, which had a clock and what looked like a TV monitor mounted on it.
"Oi, Sougo, are you sure we've never been here before? I'm almost sure we spent two episodes in this room. Look, there's a clock, above a screen, just like before – " Hijikata began, only to see the clock being promptly smashed into smithereens with a well-aimed piece of rubble thrown by a certain sadistic freak.
"What clock? Was there a clock here? I don't see any clock."
There was a long pause.
"… No. There was definitely a clock. Until you destroyed it."
"You must be mentally ill, Hijikata-san. Here, let me fix that for you."
The ruby-eyed Shinsengumi captain proceeded to come at the raven-haired vice-chief with a large block of concrete.
"Stop that Sougo… No, I'm serious. Oi, you're going for my head, aren't you? You're actually trying to kill me, aren't you? Stop it… it's not fair to kill a man when he can't fight back, didn't Gori- I mean Kondo-san teach you that?" Hijikata said desperately, trying to dodge the attacks as best he could with the chain dragging behind him.
"Stop avoiding it, Hijikata-san. I'm only doing what's best for you." Sougo replied, not ceasing his assault.
"Come on Sougo, think this through, don't do anything rash now..." Hijikata trailed off, noticing something that was a little off with the picture. "Wait. How come you're not chained? How come I'm the only one? Last time you were chained too… Hey, now that I think about it, the last time we woke up in this room, it was all a deliberate plan to torture me, wasn't it?"
He turned towards the brunette suspiciously, forgetting that Sougo still had the concrete in his hands, which had been striking closer to its target every swing he made.
Miraculously, Sougo didn't take the chance to kill him.
"Hmm… come to think of it, there was a pair of handcuffs lying next to me when I woke up in that box over there." the brunette replied, dropping the concrete to point at a rectangular wooden box in the corner of the room, hidden in the shadows.
"You just made that up right now didn't you. If there was a pair of handcuffs, they'd be on your wrists right now, not just lying in a box."
Hijikata sighed, mentally preparing himself for another two days of starvation, Chuuberts and Jigzaw.
Clink.
"Okay, they're on."
Hijikata lifted his eyes from the dust on the ground he had been staring at to find a pair of hands handcuffed together shoved in his face.
Hands that belonged to none other than the one and only Okita Sougo.
"OOIIIII SOUGO! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR!" he screamed, eyes nearly popping out of their sockets.
"I just wanted you to trust me, Hijikata-san. If we want to work together, we have to trust each other, right?" purred the brunette, fluttering his eyelashes and smiling sweetly.
"LIKE HELL YOU WANT US TO WORK TOGETHER! Besides, you're not even wearing them right, you don't even have your hands behind your back, you little bastard!" roared Hijikata, fists itching to punch the sadist where it hurt the most.
"Aww, but that's not what you thought last time. Remember, you were all 'No Sougo don't die!' and 'We'll get out of here together!'" the captain pouted, barely concealing the troll-face his features had morphed into.
"… Someone, please kill me now… No, not literally. Sougo don't you dare come near me."
"Dammit." the brunette uttered under his breath, leg paused in midair, ready to kick Hijikata's head clean off his shoulders.
"I'm actually going to die here this time, aren't I. Isn't there anyone else, please, anybody?"
As if on cue, the sound of four skulls (and one pair of glasses) simultaneously cracking against metal lockers rang across the room.
Hijikata slowly turned around.
Five locker doors swung open, dumping five lifeless bodies onto the floor.
Well, at least they looked lifeless, but judging from the swear words spilling out of their mouths, they were all very much alive.
The muffled sounds of "My head!", "It's bleeding!", "Someone call Ketsuno Ana to save me!", "Owwww", "Is that you, Will Smith?" and "AnpanAnpanAnpanAnpan" filled the room.
Then slowly, one after another, the bleeding bodies stumbled to their feet.
There was a shady looking guy with a goatee and sunglasses, a silver-haired samurai with what appeared to be a perm, a bland looking boy with cracked glasses, a long haired samurai who looked suspiciously like a very well known leader of a branch of the Joui Faction, and another bland looking boy who was tangled in a broken badminton racket.
"Hey look Hijikata-san! Some of your friends are here… Oh wait, I forgot, you don't have any friends. Nevermind." said Sougo over his shoulder as he walked towards the new inhabitants of the room.
Hijikata decided to just stand there, blinking, hoping his eyes were deceiving him. It wasn't possible that not one person out of the whole group was actually a decent human being that could help him escape, right?
The author wouldn't do that to him, would she?
Was this even allowed in the rulebooks of writing?
After rapidly blinking for a full minute, he came to the conclusion that what he saw in front of him was in fact reality.
"Oi, Oogushi-kun, what's wrong with your eyes? Crying because you're so happy to see me?" called out an annoying voice belonging to a certain sugar addict.
Yeah, my situation just got a whole lot worse, didn't it.
A/N: Yeah, this chapter is all introductions, but don't worry, it gets better.
Each chapter will be written from a different character's viewpoint, so it won't be all Hijikata (x
Please review, cuz reviews make people happy (and write faster) :D
A Few Explanations
Will Smith - referring to Ep.165, in which everyone is sick, and lying in the Shimura dojo. Then Katsura suddenly appears... as Will Smith.
Anpan - Yamazaki's anpan obsession. Wait, it's not really an obsession, is it. It's more like the anpan is possessing him or something.. O.o
