Get Off My Sausage!
Hermione liked sausage. Hermione loved sausage. Sausage was Hermione's favorite food. So when she was walking down to breakfast with Harry and Ron, and smelt sausage, she bolted toward the delicious smell. She arrived and began piling a plate high with sausage and smothering it with ketchup.
"Jeez, Hermione, ever heard of sharing? I like sausage too!" whined Ron.
"Me too," said Harry, while piling his plate the same way as Hermione's.
This continued with the sausage piles getting lower and lower, until only one sausage was left on the plate. Hermione lunged, but so did Harry. They reached the sausage at the same time.
"Get off my sausage!" Hermione shrieked.
"You can't have it! I'm the Famous and Great Harry Potter!"
"Get off my sausage!"
Ron wanted the sausage too. He surveyed to table. Bacon! He grabbed a piece. He grabbed several pieces.
"Hey, Hermione? Want some baaaacon, want some baaaacon? I got some baaacon!" he said, waving it over her head.
"I'm not a dog, you idiot!"
Ron pouted. He wanted that sausage. Harry got the sausage, and was running out of the Great Hall. Hermione was screaming bloody murder and chasing after him. Her sausage! Her life depended on her getting it! The sausage! Harry was running toward the lake.
"Get off my sausage," she shrieked.
"NEVER!" yelled Harry, looking over his shoulder. SPLASH!!! Harry fell in. All Hermione could hear was "Stupid lake! You can't do that! I'm the Great Harry Potter!"
"MY SAUSAGE!" she screeched and dived into the lake. There was Harry, sitting on the bottom of the lake, clutching the sausage, and gurgling something that sounded like "My sausage, my beautiful sausage. I am the great Harry Potter, and I have the sausagegringl. Not Ronfgls. Not Hermioneelfungle. The Great Harry Potter has the sausagegungl. A sausage fit for mefdjisaofds!!!"
Hermione swam down toward Harry, until she realized that it wasn't Harry anymore! It was the Giant Squid! The Squid and the sausage in a glass case!
"NOOOOO!!! MY SAUSAGE SHALL NOT BE DEVOURED BY A GIANT SQUID!!!" she tried to say, but it came out: " NOOOO! MURGGLE GURGLE DEVOURED GURGEL MURGEL SQUID!!!"
She swam down toward the squid. " Squid! Oh Squid! Can I have that sausage?"
"You can have the sausage in exchange for your voice!"
"You can talk?"
"Of course I can talk! I am the Great Harry Potter!"
Hermione looked at the Squid/Harry strangely, then grabbed the sausage and swam like mad. She reached the shore and sat, holding the sausage reverently.
"My sausage... My gorgeous sausage..."
"Sausage? Girl, that's a hotdog!" said the Great and Wonderful Queen Lexi, ultimate monarch.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A/N Lovely fic, ain't it? It was based on a breakfast at Kaylee/ MetalMage's house, when I slept over. Kaylee was the one who yelled "Get off my sausage" cause her little sister was trying to steal it. Her sister was the one who said, "Want some baaaacon?" to the dog. If you hate it, tell me calmly and politely that I have way to much time on my hands. If you liked it, please address me as the Great and Wonderful Queen Lexi ultimate monarch. Oh, heck, address me as that anyway! Everyone's completely OOC, but y'know what? That's okay! See ya! -Weather Witch
