Author's Note: Please, see the next chapter's A/N for all my e-drama (and review repliess!), as this is a complete rewrite of the old first chapter and should have a rewrite of the original A/N. Less N00By, though xP. But, anyway, way-back-when readers (few as you are, I know xD) I hope you like the new version, and new readers.... welcome :). Welcome to The Never-Breaking Dawn, formerly known as Truth And Pain, Lies And Love.
And for anyone who's interested... if you really want to see what an awful, awful writer I was a little over a year ago, PM, e-mail or review asking for the original XD. Seriously, it'll make your eyes bleed but I'm keeping it around as evidence that I've improved ;P. It includes both old versions of the half written second chapter, never before seen, too! 8D
Original A/N: Heya! This is my first fanfic ever, and I hope you'll like it! It's a SonAmy, but I'm not a totally rabid fan I won t kill you for disliking it XP - and I do like most other pairings. Except SonChris Dx. Shudder. Shun. Anyway, constructive criticism would be brilliant, and please review!
Disclaimer: I don't claim any of the characters found in official games to be mine, they're property of SEGA, if you can't find them in an official game then they're mine.
--XOX--
The Never-Breaking Dawn
{Chapter One :; Silent Tears}
--XOX--
All the pain I thought I knew,
All the thoughts lead back to you.
Back to what was never said -
Back and forth inside my head.
I can't handle this confusion,
I'm unable; come and take me away...
..: Take Me Away - Avril Lavigne :..
--XOX--
The rose-furred hedgehog slid down the rough brick wall behind the bins as she thought of him, forcing back a fresh wave of tears. Darkness cloaked the city streets at this time of night, and the only illumination in the alley where she had sought refuge was the weak light of a dying streetlamp some distance from her hiding place. And still the girl was oblivious to all this, aware only of her inner turmoil.
Amy could hear conversations from the past that felt like a different life echoing in her head; dreams about one day meeting her hero, sleepovers with old friends where they would talk animatedly long into the night. She could remember herself reading the tarot cards for them, a skill of hers that she'd stumbled upon by accident but had embraced all the same.
Clearest of all she could remember reading those cards for herself one dark evening, unable to sleep despite the late hour. Them telling her that she would find him at the Little Planet.
Amy could still picture every last detail of her kidnap by Metal; the exact shade of the dancing emerald grass, the entrancing patterns in the fluffy clouds floating overhead - and her brave hero rescuing her. And at that moment her whole world had changed for the better.
Amy Rose had been offered a brand new life. And without sparing even a thought for those who she was leaving behind, she'd accepted.
Four years had passed since then, and the hedgehog had found herself in a world of excitement and adventure and danger. Since then, Amy Rose had helped defeat gods and save civilizations. Since then, she'd learned how to fight, how to hold her own in battle and protect those she cared about - no longer just the damsel in distress, the weak link in the chain. She'd reinvented herself, changing her appearance, altering it until she was physically near unrecognisable as the spirited, naive girl the people back home had known her as. Friendship had always come easily to her, and now she was surrounded by the best companions that she - or anyone - could wish for; close friends who wouldn't hesitate to help her when she was in need of it.
And since then, Amy Rose's crush on her childhood idol had grown into passionate adoration, and she had fallen for him - fallen hard.
The one thing about her new self; the one thing she loved most dearly with every ounce of her being - and the one thing that she would loathe utterly until the end of time.
Sonic...
--XOX--
There's a reason, there's got to be... there's got to be a reason... Why he doesn't... does he? He doesn't, he can't... but...
Amy's mind was a messy web of tangled thoughts, broken phrases repeating over and over again. She'd drifted in and out of sleep, but she barely noticed in her semi-conscious state.
And why can't... why can't he tell me...? Don't I... I deserve that much... Just a simple reason... there's got be one...
She knew that she wouldn't ever give up, knew that she was going to spend her life chasing him... and all she wanted - no, needed - was an answer, a reason, why she was always shot down, always left behind, always had to be running to try and keep up with what had become the centre of her world.
And yet... she shouldn't keep trying, she couldn't. Amy knew it was hurting her, tearing her apart inside. She'd locked away the pain and feelings that hurt so deeply, but now the walls hiding them were crumbling to pieces and she didn't think she could ever rebuild them.
Does he even... I don't even know... But there's always been...
She'd never let the constant rejection, the avoiding and the evasion torment her, building barricades to keep out the agony - and it worked. Like an oyster, smothering the ache until it no longer hurt. There were moments when she was so sure she could see something in his eyes - something different to the ever-cocky, playful look in those forest-green orbs, something softer telling her that it wasn't hopeless, that her pursuit wasn't in vain.
And with those barriers tumbling down, she couldn't tell what she should believe. All the time she'd been positive, she could draw strength from those times she saw that tiny sparkle of hope. Now she found herself drowning in the despair, what was previously her raft in an ocean of troubles only serving to confuse her already muddled thoughts, leaving her flailing and pushing herself further under.
Did he really feel anything for her? Or was it merely friendship she saw in his eyes - friendship she'd desperately twisted into something more to console herself?
If- If he really doesn't want me... I don't want to- to chase him forever... to lose my life that way. If there's no hope...
She didn't think she could take much more of the torture that she'd been putting herself through for so long; she needed an answer, an answer to the question she wished would be simple. But she couldn't bring herself to care about what it was so much any more; she just needed to know, one way or the other. Closure.
Why can't you tell me, Sonic? Just tell me... give me an honest answer... if I'm wasting my time. An answer, a reason... how you feel... just...
Please...
She twisted her fingers into her bangs, pushing her face into her hands in a futile effort to escape the confusion and the ever-present misery.
The hours dragged by unnoticed, the night growing colder, the unbroken silence turning eerie, and amaranth pink eyelids slid closed as quiet tears began to first gather there, then fall from them once more.
--XOX--
A soft sound pulled her from the oblivion she'd sunk into, a quiet voice coaxing her into wakefulness.
"... Amy? Wake up, Ames..."
She thought she felt someone gently shaking her shoulder, though she couldn't be sure through the numbing veil that was rapidly slipping away from her.
"Mmhmm... Wha- huh?" The rose-furred hedgehog mumbled indistinctly, blinking slowly as she tried to make sense of what her senses were telling her. Her voice betrayed no emotion; Amy felt nothing but numb, the other emotions too churned up and clouded to make any sense. In any case, how should she feel? She didn't know. "S- Sonic?"
"She's okay, right, Sonic?" Another voice, this one younger than the first. Tails. The smart little fox and Sonic were brothers in all but blood; Sonic had rescued him from both bullies and Robotnik when he'd crash landed the Tornado on Westside Island, maybe a few months before she'd left home to find him.
"I think so..." She heard the hedgehog reply. "... Or, at least, she will be in a while. Amy, what were you doing here? Have you been here all night?" Wiry but strong arms wrapped around her, lifting her up before draping her peach-furred arm around his neck to support her as they walked.
Another garbled "Mmhmm..." was the only reply the cobalt hedgehog got to his question. He bit his lip at the way she was limping - was she injured? - but he didn't think so, it was probably nothing.
"Huh. Well, I'm gonna drop you back home, okay?" Then the blue hedgehog had an idea; didn't you talk calmly about anything to people who were distressed or going into shock, to soothe them or something? Worth a shot.
"So, uh, me and Tails were just heading to Angel Island. Knux called Tails a few minutes ago saying Espio and the rest of the Chaotix had found something on ol' Eggman." The trio were now wandering in the general direction of Amy's apartment. Sonic glanced at her again, unsure if she was really okay - she was so unresponsive, especially for her - but he let it go, unwilling to interrupt the story. "Apparently our friendly neighbourhood megalomaniac's going for yet another stab at the whole world domination gig, he's building what, his thousandth fortress and his millionth giant death machine thingy? Anyway, so the three of us are gonna go check it out - well, me and Tails only if Knux goes off on one about the Master Emerald - and blow it up. Again. I-"
Sonic had miscalculated.
Swirling pain and anger suddenly flared into life in jade green eyes as the last few words left Sonic's lips, and the girl's head snapped up to glare venomously at the one who had been helping her to walk. She shoved herself away from him to stand alone, shakily - but in no danger of falling.
"Amy? Wh-?"
"You want to know what? How long have I known you, Sonic? How long have I tried to be the best friend I can be to you? Nearly five years. So don't you think I shouldn't have to chase you around before you'll talk to me? Before you'll give me any more attention than a pebble on the road? When we've ended up fighting together, it's because I found out about it myself, not because you thought that maybe - just maybe - I'd like to help out! Or how about when life is normal? Tell me, Sonic, just tell me how often you've ever decided to hang around with me, to take an interest in anything I do? Oh, you're always off racing Shadow again, or hanging out at Tails' workshop mucking around with the stupid Tornado, or you're pissing off Knuckles on Angel Island, or you're even running around in a parallel dimension with some princess, but just tell me, when have you ever come looking for me to have fun or just have a conversation or anything?!"
"Ames-" Sonic didn't want to hear any more. This must have been why she was out there alone - and she had to have felt like this, been hiding it for years... His fault?
But she paid no heed to the anguish her words were causing, the only difference that they were quieter now, more subdued, but no less heartfelt.
"Never, Sonic. You never do. And I've tried, so hard, done everything, everything I can to help you, to make your day just that little bit better... I've changed for you, Sonic - I've become a different person, a better person. I used to be an immature, clingy kid, but I saw you hated it, so I adjusted. I didn't think about it, I just did. I can run and I can fight because I wanted to be able to impress you, Sonic, I wanted to do things that you did because it was you doing them. But now..."
Don't Amy, don't...
"Now, I realise something... I don't know. I just don't know anymore. I don't think it ever really mattered, any of it - I don't think you even noticed. I- I don't know that you even care! And have you any idea how that feels, Sonic? Do you have any idea how much it hurts to feel your heart being ripped into shreds every single day?"
Silent tears were slipping from her bitterly tormented eyes and her frame was shaking violently; as she finished her voice splintered, and she relinquished the last shreds of emotional control, crumpling into rending sobs. Already scraped knees buckled and pitched the broken girl to the pavement where she stayed, kneeling, head cradled in trembling hands as the waves of suffering began to drag her back beneath their surface.
A moment passed in stunned quietude. Sonic's jaw hung slightly agape, his eyes fixed on the crying girl while his mind was in a whirl, completely taken aback. How could someone like Amy - bubbly, cheerful, perpetually upbeat Amy - feel so heartbroken inside? And to have hidden it for such a long time... Tails just stood there helplessly, a look of confusion clear on his face, it utterly plain that he didn't understand. He thought of Amy as relatively normal, unshakably energetic... Maybe just a bit obsessive over his big brother, maybe a little too trigger-happy when it came to that hammer of hers, but still...
Jeez, what the hell am I supposed to do? I didn't... She's not... Sonic was at a loss, had no idea how he was supposed to react to one of his closest friends not only collapsing in an alleyway, freezing, on the other side of the city from home, but then turning out to be devastated and overwrought over him, which shook him more than anything else; wasn't he the one supposed to stop things from hurting his friends? - and now she'd sunk back to the floor and was trembling with unrestrained anguish.
He acted instinctively, doing the only thing he could think of to comfort the pink hedgehog; he dropped to his knees on the ground beside her and wrapped his arms around her, folding her into a tight hug as he eased them both back to their feet.
"Sonic? Sonic, I'll go on ahead to Knux, okay?" Tails spoke softly, trying to avoid disturbing Amy - now crying quietly into Sonic's chest with one arm slung loosely around his neck, the other hand futilely attempting to stifle the whimpers still coming from her throat. The cobalt hedgehog glanced at him and nodded slightly, indicating his agreement. The fox paused for a moment to spin his tails a couple of times before jumping into the air and flying away from the pair, leaving them alone in the dark night.
He looked back down at the pink hedgehog cradled in his arms. Though the rattling sobs had quieted, the trickle of tears hadn't ceased, even if they had calmed and slowed. Sonic's eyes closed in thought.
Heh... if Ames was feeling alright, she'd be so ecstatic right now. She'd announce a moonlight hug was romantic and turn and grin like it was the best thing in the world... A brief smile played across his lips. She's always so easy to read... But his thoughts faltered there; he'd never seen any of the pain she'd been hiding, had he? But everything Amy'd said... it was all truth, he didn't - couldn't - doubt that for a second. Now he thought about it... He reopened his eyes, hugging the girl closer in an attempt to maybe heal just a little of the damage he'd unintentionally caused. She was hiding her face in his peach chest fur; he could only hope her expression wasn't the tortured one from - was it only minutes? It felt like hours - earlier.
So... what am I going to do about it now...?
--XOX--
Original A/N: Okay, first chapter done. Updates will be kind of erratic, as I haven't got the entire storyline planned out in my head. I have some scenes later on practically writing themselves, though. Funny how that happens. Anyway, if you read, please review!
Author's Note: Well, looks like I'm going to contradict myself here and say, yes, I have the entire story planned out... though updates will be kind of erratic, 'cause I do have a tendency to procrastinate and/or get snowed under by homework. But wait! There's the NEW chapter for you! Click that there next button for all it's worth xD!
