Authors Note: I do not own twilight or any of its characters or plots. Stephanie Meyer does.
Bella POV:
It's been 4 months since Edward and his family left me. I still cant breath, eat or sleep right. I miss him so much. He was my life and my future. Now what am I supposed to do in a world where my soul mate doesn't exist? How am I to find love again? Will I ever forget Edward and his family? I knew that wasn't possible. I would never forget him and maybe one day I would see them again. That was what was holding me together these days, that one hope.
"Bella, hunny?" Charlie called from downstairs. He was so worried about me and having to look into my depthless eyes everyday made it worse.
"Yes?" I rasped after a night of crying myself to sleep.
"I'm going fishing with Harry. Would you like to come?" He asked wary.
"No thanks dad, I have laundry to do and it's a nice day today, I think ill go outside and read a book." I replied not letting him know all the details.
"Alright, but if you need anything don't hesitate to call." He said getting his fishing gear from under the stairs. I sighed and began to go into the motions of getting ready for another day without Edward. I grabbed an out fit from my closet and walked over to my window. I kept it open every night hoping that one night he would come through my window and take me back. I closed it every morning before taking a shower. I padded out my bedroom and into the one bathroom in the house. The warm water was soothing and allowed me to think clearly. I thought about what exactly I was going to do today. Then it struck me. The Cullen's weren't the only vampires I knew. There was the Denali clan but they have only heard about me once or twice. They knew my name and that I was Edwards love interest and how my blood sang for him. Maybe that was enough information to get them to listen to me. I smiled at this revelation. I've never been this happy since Edward left. I cringed at the memory. I now wanted to go to the Denali's ask to change me.
They were also vegetarians like the Cullen's so I didn't have to worry too much about being killed before making my proposal. At least if I was killed I would have to live in suffering anymore with false hope of Edward and his family returning. Maybe if they turned me, then Edward would find out one day and take me back now that I wouldn't be boring or breakable. I sighed in happiness at the idea. Then images of Jacob, Renee, Charlie, and all my friends from school like Angela came flooding into my head. I cringed again. I would never be able to see them again. Was it worth it? Yes. There was no doubt about it. Edward was everything to me. Leaving them would hurt though. I sighed again. I finished rinsing my hair and stepped out of the shower reaching for my towel and wrapping it around. I walked back to my room and grabbed the clothes off my bed and pulled them on. I was wearing dark blue jeans and a plain light green stretch-cotton t-shirt. I giggled at the memory of Alice hating to see my in stretch-cotton my automatically pushed that memory back. It would only cause more pain then needed. I relaxed a little when I realized there was some real hope to seeing her again if I did go to the Denali clan. Then I realized what would I tell them when I got there? I couldn't just come out of nowhere and demand they change me. I had to think this through carefully. High School was coming to an end this week. In exactly 4 days to be precise. I had paid no attention to this information until now. I hadn't realized that my graduation had really come this fast. I gasped as this realization had hit me. Only four days until I walk across the gym floor and receive my diploma, until I say goodbye to Charlie to go to the University of Washington, until I go to Alaska to ask the Denali clan to change me. Instead of going to college I would go to Alaska. Charlie and everyone else would think I was going to college, 4-years of it. Jacob couldn't know what I was doing until it was already done. A tear slipped from my eye and down my cheek. I hated hurting Jake. He was my best friend. I promised myself right there, I would call him when I had the chance and explain until then he would have to know as much as Charlie otherwise he would follow me all the way to Alaska and things would not go the way I planned them to go. I could have my best friend dieing for me to protect my soul when I wanted to give it up to live and eternity with my soul mate whether or not I thought he wanted me. He had to want me though.
There had to be a different reason for him to leave me the way he did. He couldn't have told me he loved me all those times and then turn around and say he didn't want me. Could he? I stopped my thoughts dead in their tracks. If I thought about all the negative things I would never get myself to go to Alaska. Four days. I can last that long. At least I hope I can. Edward and Carlisle talked as if the vampire, Tanya was the leader. So I would go to Tanya and speak to her but how would I go about this. I would go about it telling the truth. I would tell her everything and then ask her to trust me and not to say anything to any of the Cullen's and if she had to mention me to them, then she would think of another name for me besides Bella. I smiled at me revelation. Their clan was pulled together by love also, like the Cullen's so maybe this wouldn't be so hard I hoped. I would need money for a plane ticket and some clothes. Alaska is very cold this time of year but I hope I wouldn't have to worry about my human needs for long. Since I won't be going to college I can use the money for what I really need. I really need it to get my way back to Edward and his family. I sighed. I better spend my days with Jacob while I'm still human. Just then my cell phone buzzed. I jumped at the sound.
"Uhm..Hello?" I answered startled.
"Bella!" I heard Jacob scream in excitement into the earpiece.
"Yes?" I asked worried.
"Come down to La push, everyone is coming over to the cliff diving site to have a bon fire." He invited.
"I know you'll be going away in four days so I want to spend every minute I can with you before you leave." He whispered.
"Huh.. oh uhm. Yeah college. Sucks. Sure, ill come over. See you in a few." I stumbled over my words. He had said those 'four days' as I was thinking of the Denali clan changing me and how it would be afterwards. I heard him chuckle on the line before replying.
"Same old bella, stumbling over her words. Do you want me to come pick you up? You should grab a sleeping bag and bring a couple of packs of hotdogs with you. It might turn into a sleepover." He chuckled.
"Sure sure. Sounds fun. Ill tell Charlie. See you in a few Jake." I giggled out.
"See you bella." He said before I heard the line go dead. I felt in a better mood then I had in days. I could fell my lungs actually feel the air for once. I sighed in contentment. I shoved the phone back in my pocket and headed to my closet and grabbed the feather-down sleeping bag from up top and a jacket and headed out to my truck to put them in there. I ran back inside the house and decided to tell Charlie of my plans. I already knew he would say yes and 'stay out as late as you want'. He loved the idea of me spending time with Jacob. It was mostly because ever since Edward left I haven't really talked to him as much as I used to but now that I've been hanging with Jake, he's realized a change in me. I also think it's because he's best friends with Jacob's dad, Billy. I dialed my dad's number and he answered after the fist ring. That reminded me of Edward. Whenever I called him he would always answer as soon as it rang. I whimpered at the memory. I've been thinking too much of them today and needed to stop.
"Bella?" Charlie asked on the other line, worry clearly in his voice.
"Hey, dad. Is it alright if I go to la push with Jake and Sam and everyone? Emily will be there, and their having a cookout but we might stay out late and just camp there tonight." I asked.
"Go ahead Bella." He chuckled. "Go have some fun kid." He advised.
"Thanks dad, I make you a dinner plate for you before I leave." I stated.
"Thanks bells, but Harry invited me over for dinner tonight, I was going to call you in awhile to see if you wanted to join but I guess you have other plans." He informed me.
"Oh ok dad, well I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning then." I replied.
"Sure thing." He chuckled again. "Oh bells?" He said reaching up two octaves hoping I hadn't hung up the phone yet.
"Yeah dad?" I asked concerned.
"Be careful and I love you." He said.
"Ok dad. Love you to." I replied before hanging up.
I looked in the fridge for some hotdogs and grabbed 3 packs and grabbed 2 bags of potato chips and a liter of soda before heading towards the door. Four days. I chanted to myself before hopping into my truck. The weather was the same it had been since my first day I arrived here in forks, Rainy and cloudy and the occasional sunshine. Today was no different except for the constant low wind. Enough to blow my hair back. I put me car into reverse and headed towards La push.
When I got to La push I saw every werewolf I knew and Emily surrounding a huge fire. I parked my truck and Jacob walked towards me.
"Hey Bella! Did you bring everything?" He asked worried that id forgotten.
"Oh man! I forgot the hotdogs." I teased.
"What? Darn it." He gasped about losing a meal.
"Kidding Jake. No I got everything." I laughed. He then grabbed me up in a tight bear hug. I giggled.
"Cant…..Breath….Jake." I gasped for air.
"Oh sorry. Let me help." He said putting me down on my feet reaching for some of the stuff in the passenger seat in my truck. We walked over to the fire and Emily smiled welcoming me to the circle. We had this bond, Emily and I. It was 'we're wolf lovers and we don't care' type bond that held us together. I threw my sleeping bag with the other sleeping bags and went to sit by Jake who was sitting on the ground in front of a log.
"How do you feel about college, Bella?" Embry asked.
I hated this part. Lying to everyone I cared about.
"I'm excited in a way." I tried to keep to the truth as much as possible.
"No talking about school here. We come here to get away from it." Paul griped. I was thankful of him for the moment. He didn't really care for me because he knew if Edward and his family were to come back I could go to them without any explanation. I couldn't help it. They were my family. At least I wished they were and Edward was my soul mate. They knew how close that bond was because they had this thing in their own idea of soul mate and that was imprinting.
"What have you guys been up to, anything new?" I asked the group.
"No not really just listening to everyone's thoughts all the time." Quill complained.
Everyone chuckled. Quill hated the idea of having everyone know everything about everyone in the pack.
"Hey lets go cliff diving." Paul said excited standing up walking towards the cliff.
"Alright!" Embry and Quill yelled in unison. They both got up and followed Paul.
Sam kissed Emily on the cheek and followed suit. Jacob patted me knee and did the same which left just Emily and I. I got up and walked to sit by Emily. For the next 3 hours Emily and I talked about where we were at in life and what we planned in the future. Of course I had to lie some more. Great, if this goes on any further, by the end of the night, I'll be a professional liar I thought to myself. Then Jacob and the rest of them came to join Emily and me by the fire all the while shaking their hair and spraying us with sea water. Emily and I giggled and instinctively coward away from the cold and in the process fell backwards onto our backs off the log. We then busted out into hysterics while everyone else just looked at each other and shrugged. Jacob and Sam came over to help us back up onto the log we were sitting on.
"Thanks Jake." I said once I was done giggling.
"Friends are always there for you even when you're incoherent." He chuckled back.
I chuckled with him.
"I'm hungry, where's the food?" Embry asked.
"I brought some hotdogs, their over there." I pointed at the plastic bag filled with hot dogs and chips.
"Sam, babe, will you go get the hamburgers from the trunk of the car?" Emily asked Sam before kissing him on the cheek. I looked away. Any kinds of affection of love were too much for me these days.
"Sure." Sam said getting up and heading toward the car.
As Sam walked to the car everyone else was grabbing a sticking a spearing a hotdog. I giggled at the sight.
"What?" Jacob asked staring at me wondering why I was giggling.
"Oh, nothing just the sight of you guys spearing hotdogs and is just funny. Nothing really." I chuckled out my words.
"Not funny Bella." Jacob said sticking his hotdog into the fire with a pout on his face. I busted out into hysterics again.
"What is wrong with her?" Paul asked annoyed.
"I have no idea." Jacob replied to Paul with a smirk on his face.
I knew what was wrong with me. I was finally realizing what happiness was for the first time since Edward left. I knew in four days I would be just that much closer to seeing him again. I smiled at the thought of me being in his arms again and him wanting me. I slapped myself mentally. I needed to stop thinking about him until I was changed. I could withstand the pain more when I was stronger. The rest of the night went along with everyone taking turns and telling their favorite Quilette story. By the time everyone had a turn it was two in the morning.
"All that story.. 'yawn' telling has made me tired. I think I'm going to hit the dirt." Embry chuckled reaching for his sleeping bag.
"Me to." Quill did the same as Embry.
I reached for my sleeping bag then and laid it out next to the fire, as close as I could as long as no sparks would fly off the burn me. Sam and Emily were already lying down across the fire from me, Emily next to the fire and Sam on the outside to keep her warm. Embry was down at my feet and Quill was above my head. Paul was passed out on the log as was Jacob. I snuggled into my sleeping back.
"Goodnight." I whispered to anyone who hadn't fallen asleep yet.
"Goodnight bella." Emily whispered back. I smiled.
I heard more mumbled goodnights. As the night went on it began to get colder. I was dreaming I was in a freezer. What an odd dream, I thought. Then I felt pressure on top of me, then heat. I grasped onto the heat and pulled myself closer without thinking. I snuggled in and began to thaw out. After that I dreamt happy dreams of Edward. I didn't wake up or push them back tonight. I welcomed them.
Thanks for giving my story a chance. I was thinking about this plot and decided to write it because I remember reading that bella reminds edward that hes not the only vampire she knows, but she was really thinking about alice and I thought about the Denali's and tghey could change her during newmoon. Leave me a review and tell me what you think. The moreI get the faster I'll post more chapters.:D
