Love Lost / Love Found

By Lady of Spain

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.


This one shot is a labor of love dedicated to my buddy Asa. This one's for you girl.


Quil, Embry and I were horsing around in the school yard. That was the first day I noticed Asa. She had the most beautiful mocha colored skin, with a smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks that made her look young and innocent. And, jeez, those deep ebony eyes could haunt a fellow if he didn't watch out. Quil was on the move, trailing after her, mimicking her long black hair as it swayed back and forth along with her movements. She glanced behind her and left a smile that lit up the sky, but it sailed right on by her stalker and landed in my ballpark. I dropped the ball on that one though, I was in love with a girl named Bella and she was due to come home that particular week.

"Damn, Jake, why do all the lookers cast their eyes your way? What am I wolf liver? Who is she anyway? And what is she doing at our school?"

Embry leaned on Quil's shoulder with one elbow. I have it on the highest authority that her name's Asa Brandon. She's a sophomore over at Forks High School. I heard that she's tutoring some of the freshmen here. We're freshmen, maybe we can sneak in and catch a couple of sessions."

Brushing his elbow off his arm, Quil retorted, "Get out, Em. You need a tutor like Einstein needed remedial math."

"I can always lose an exponent here and there." Embry cuffed Quil on the arm affectionately.

I leaned against the wall of the building. "You guys can go for it. I begged my dad to take him to Charlie's this Wednesday. We dropped the old Chevy off last weekend and I wanna tell Bella about all of its little quirks. Bella's moving back to Forks, and I've still got my hopes pinned on her."


Embry and Quil both signed up for the tutoring sessions, but neither of them learned anything; Embry because he didn't really need to, and Quil because he was too busy checking out Asa. She didn't mind much though, Quil was a hoot, always making her laugh and Embry was—well, Embry.

Quil asked her out several times and she finally relented one day. They were seated outside at some picnic tables, when she said, "Okay, I'll go out with you, but only if it's on a double date."

Several students were milling about. Pointing at Paul Lahote, Quil offered, "What about Paul? I'm sure he can get a date."

Asa's mouth formed a terrified 'O'. "No thanks, I've heard too much about him". She turned and eyed Jacob stepping out of the building. "What about him?"

"Jacob? Nah—he doesn't go out much." Oh, fudge apples, she was hoping to finally meet him. Yay, it looked like he was coming toward them anyhow. Her heart started beating a little faster. He sat next to Asa and put down his lunch tray which was piled high with food.

"Got enough food there, mister," she remarked, smiling her sweetest.

"Hey, I'm a growing boy," he retorted. "I can already feel the nutrients busily manufacturing muscle at this very moment." He dug into the massive mound of food.

Quil rolled his eyes, "Way to make an impression, man." Glancing at Asa once more, He introduced the two. "Asa, this is my idiot cousin, Jacob Black. Jake this is Asa Brandon."

Jacob looked up from his plate for a moment. "Hey, Asa, I've seen you around—poor thing . . ." He clicked his tongue. "Jeez, having to hang around Quil and Embry, and you're still back for more? I gotta ask; how can you stand it? You really have your work cut out for you."

Asa's smile never left her face, and her eyes never left his face. "I don't mind. They keep me entertained."

Jacob continued shoveling in the grub. "Yeah, they're a real couple of clowns all right—certifiable class clowns."

"You're right, Jake. It's a matter of pride. We gotta keep up our rep as the classiest clowns in La Push."

Jake polished off the meal at a startling rate and stood to return to class. "Nice meeting you, Ace." He winked as he turned to go.

Darn, he was leaving too soon. "Yeah, same here, Joker."

His arm brushed against hers as he left, sending goosebumps down to her toes. Now why couldn't he be the one to ask her out? Hey, maybe he could tutor her—in chemical reactions.


JPOV:

Bella was two years older than me, but what was two years in the span of eternity, anyway? I hoped she would remember who I was. I had a major crush on her ever since the fifth grade.

It had been several years, since she visited her dad at Forks, and she was planting roots here now. I was extremely nervous when we pulled into the driveway. I got dad's wheelchair out of the back, and helped him down from the SUV and into his chair. Charlie and Bella came out to the front yard and I nearly swallowed my tongue at the sight of her. She had grown some—and in all the right places, too. Jeez, I felt like I needed some jumper cables to start up my stuttering heart. I wondered if she'd noticed.

I helped her into the cab of the truck and went over how to double clutch, when to bring it back to me for an oil change, tune ups, etc., and warned her about the speed restriction. After that little tutorial, we went into the house and caught up on our lives, which at least where I was concerned didn't change that much. All too soon, my dad and I needed to leave.

On the way home, I kept thinking about Bella. It was hard to tell what her feelings were about me; she was so shy. Wait—Did she see me as a little brother? God, I hoped not!


Three weeks went by—uneventfully, I might add. I hadn't so much as gotten a peek at the girl of my teen-aged obsession. I saw a lot of Asa though, and we fell into a comfortable friendship. She always had a smile for me—well for everybody, actually. Then Saturday arrived and my boys nagged me to hang out with them on First Beach. I wasn't thrilled with the idea, but when the day was done, I counted my lucky stars that I went.

Asa was there with Quil, and the three of us joked around until Embry showed up. Quil started showing off in front her throwing a football back and forth between them, and making sure she got a good look at his guns. I was freezing my butt off, but poor Asa was worse off. She was sitting next to me, shivering from the cold.

I turned to her and noticed her usually glossy lips were now a shocking blue. "Jeez, Ace, your lips are turning blue. You wanna share my coat with me. I'll make room for ya."

I unzipped my coat, and she scooted nearer to me as I wrapped it around her shoulder. I noticed her big brown eyes as she smiled at me. They seemed to light up at the same time, taking the cue from her lips. I tucked her head into my shoulder; the scent from her hair was so distracting. It was heavenly, like vanilla and honey.

I pulled her closer, trying to keep her warm. Truth be told, her body so close to mine warmed me up too. I didn't understand at the time, but for some reason, I asked about her relationship with Quil. I realized I probably shouldn't have cared—but I did. "So, if I'm not being too nosy, I see you've been going out with Quil. How's that goin?"

She lifted her head, gazing at me with those eyes again. "It's not going anywhere. We're just friends."

"Damn, poor Quil. I bet he hates being the friend without the boy preceding the friend part. Tell me something, Ace. Is it the age difference? I mean, girls are supposed to mature faster than the guys, right?"

She rested one hand on my chest. "No, I really don't care about that. So, I'm a year and a half older—big deal. After all, it's just a number. He's a nice enough guy—a little too handsy, but, it's just—I don't feel any chemistry between us, you know. And don't you dare tell him what I said. He thinks he reeks of pheromones."

"He reeks, all right," I snickered.

She tapped me lightly on the chest. "Hey, that's not what I meant, and you know it!"

Suddenly, I heard a familiar voice mixed in with a bunch of kids from Forks High. Even though Bella and I weren't officially a couple, I didn't want her to get the wrong idea. I yelled at Quil. "Hey, Flacco, get your butt back here and take over. I've been Ace's heating pad for twenty minutes now."

Gently drawing away from her, I grabbed hold of my coat and re-zipped it. The expression on her face was almost one of hurt. Quil sat down beside her, and I stood up just as Bella walked over to me. I felt kinda bad about discarding Asa the way I did, but I was drawn to Bella like the proverbial moth to a flame. Looking back, I could see that I got scorched a lot too.

My doubts about Bella's feelings for me melted away, as we walked together on the beach. She was actually flirting with me—at least I thought she was. But what did I know? I never had a girl flirt with me before.

She was so attentive—mesmerized—I would say by the legends of our tribe. It was all a bunch of superstitious nonsense, and like I told Bella, "They're just some old scary stories."

Bella bumped my shoulder. "But you tell them so well. I think you gave me goose bumps."

Her chocolate eyes peered into mine, and now I was getting goose bumps. Nothing lasts forever though—least of all, our walk together on the beach. That little rendezvous was cut short by a pesky blonde guy named Mike, who suggested they needed to get back on the road. Bella left with him, and my heart went with her.


Then there was long stretch of nothing. I hardly ever got to see Bella. She was always out with some jerk named, Edward. Jeez, who names their kid, Edward, nowadays, anyhow? I woulda been Mr. Lonely, if it hadn't been for my two best friends and of course Asa. She always showed up to do homework with me, or to drop off cookies. One day after finishing up some school work, she stayed to watch a movie with me. I had my arm casually around her. We were yakking about this and that, and I finally had to ask. "Tell me something, Ace. You're a girl, right?"

Her eyebrows shot up. "Yeah, last time I looked, why?"

I leaned forward, tilting my head so I could see her. "This is really gonna sound dumb, but . . . You know all the guys think you're cute, right?"

She straightened up a little in her seat. "Are you kidding me?"

"No, absolutely not. Even I think you're cute—really cute. I see the way the guys look at you. You know, I'm always teasing people saying I'm irresistible. But from a girl's perspective . . ." I winced as I continued, "do you think I'm cute? And what about the irresistible part?"

Nodding her head, she grinned. "Are you crazy? Don't you have any mirrors around here? Well, yeah, you're cute and irresistible and friggin' hot to boot. Since you've put on so much height and muscle, I'm surprised you don't have to beat the girls off you with a club."

I began to absentmindedly stroke her bare arm. "I don't get it; I've been so patient, waiting for Bella to be more than just a friend. If I'm cute and as irresistible as you say, then how come we're still at the friendship stage? I mean, how do you get someone to fall in love with you?"

"I said it before and I'll say it again. Are you crazy? What kind of question is that?"

"I'm serious; I'd like to hear your opinion."

She crinkled up her nose so that her freckles rearranged themselves like a constellation of stars. She looked so adorable! "What the flu shot is goin' on in that head of yours? You can't make someone fall in love with you, Jake. It can't be forced. You either fall in love naturally or you don't."

I sighed in frustration, and snuggled closer to her, resting my chin on the top of her head. That sweet smell of vanilla and honey hit me again. "I'm so tired of being good ol' Jacob Black—the friend."

Asa tipped her head up. "I know the feeling."

I was in shock; she never said a word about mooning over anyone before. "Damn, you too? Any guy that would keep you waiting has to be an idiot."

Brushing the hair away from her face, I whispered, "Well, I'll cry on your shoulder while you cry on mine. How's that?"

Suddenly, tears started to form in her dark eyes, making them glisten. A tiny drop rolled down her cheek.

I wiped the tear away with the pad of my thumb. "Jeez, I didn't mean for you to cry right this minute." Placing my cheek against hers, I smoothed my hand over her honey-scented hair, and repeated, "Shh, it'll be okay, Ace. You'll see."


The next day, the gruesome twosome were with me in the Taj. They arrived a few seconds after I crawled beneath my car. Quil lost no time in sailing right into me. Man, he had something stuck in his craw, and it all came pouring out at once. "What is it with you and Asa, Jake?"

I yelled from under the Rabbit. "We're just friends, why?"

Quil's voice raised a couple of decibels. "Just friends? Are you sure about that?"

I scooted out from under the car, and lifted my head to squint at him. "What's this all about?"

"You know damn well." He folded his arms across his chest.

Embry intervened. "Hey, guys. Don't let a girl put a wedge between the three musketeers, huh."

"There's nothing goin' on, I swear."

Continuing to support Quil's assumption, Embry leaned down toward me. He countered with, "But you have to admit, she's been spending a lot of time at your house."

"So, is that a crime? Hey . . . guys . . . we do homework together, that's all."

"Oh yeah, is that why she brings cookies, and other goodies to you. How many goodies have you had your sticky hands on?"

"You're way outta line here, Quil. She's not into you, or me either. She said so herself. She's pining over someone else, so go bark up another tree." I began sliding back under the Rabbit.

Quil's face finally softened. "Well who is it then, so I can go rough him up?"

"How should I know? She didn't give me a name, but she sure as hell was cryin' over whoever it is."

Scratching his head, Quil sighed. "I'll never understand women. How could she resist me?"

"Wrong pheromones," I muttered, with a laugh.


The next night rocked my existence. My dad got a call from Charlie saying Bella was missing. We went down to the Swan's and helped in the search. I kept pacing a furrow into Charlie's lawn. No one would let me help. I was about to go out of my mind, until Sam finally came out of the woods carrying her limp form.

My dad wouldn't let me go see her, but I eavesdropped on his phone calls so I could at least know what was goin' on. I couldn't believe what I overheard. That Edward freak left her lying in the forest. She was practically dead when I saw her, and from what I could piece together, she was now acting like she was dead. Charlie told my dad that she had been losing weight, barely spoke, and stopped seeing friends. What the hell did that freakin' monster do to her?


Three months passed—three long months and two weeks to be exact, with no word from Bella. Asa continued to keep me company, but I had asked her not to be bringing cookies or anything resembling dessert, the day after Bella was found. I wanted to kick the butts of both of my boys 'cuz, I really loved Asa's baking. Why did I have to suffer just because Quil was jealous?

Asa stood in my doorway, those doe eyes pleading with mine. "Why can't I bring you anything anymore? I thought you liked my baking."

The smell from the tray she was carrying was killing me. It smelled delicious. I accidentally inhaled longingly. "I do, that's the problem. Quil's mad 'cuz you don't ever bake for him."

Stepping through the door, Asa laughed. "So, stop being such a hog. Ever heard of sharing?"

"Do I have to?" I groaned. I pulled her along with me to the kitchen table where my school books were laid out. She placed the tray on the surface, and I couldn't help but sample the goods. Mmn, mmn.


As I said, three months and two weeks went by, but who was counting? There was a rap at my door the next afternoon. I ran to the door expecting to see Asa, but I had to blink to be sure I wasn't witnessing a mirage. It was Bella, looking like death warmed over. She was skin and bones; her hair had lost its luster and there were dark circles etched beneath her lifeless eyes.

I was so glad to see her, despite her deplorable condition, that I hoisted her in the air and swung her in a circle. She had brought two hunks of metal with her that in another life had once been actual motorcycles. It would take a lot of care and repair to get them in running shape, but it was nothing compared to the work needed to breathe life back into Bella.

Every day was work on motorcycle day, and Bella was there with me. Asa came by once and saw the two of us together. I introduced her to Bella, but it was an awkward situation. From then on, I seldom had Asa coming to the house, and I really missed her smile, her vanilla and honey perfume, and those warm brown eyes.


Bella had reluctantly invited me to the movies with a group of her friends. It turned out to be a real bummer. The movie was BAD, and not in a good way, if you get my drift. That pesky blonde guy was there too. It was only the three of us. Mike was puking his guts out by the end of the movie, and Bella wouldn't even let me hold her damn hand. I went home feeling sick, and then the unthinkable happened. I totally flipped out and wound up covered in fur and standing on four legs! Why? Why me?

I was glad that Asa was staying away, but it killed me to have to avoid Bella. I was angry, hurt and soooo lonely. Who would want to be with a creature like me?

Visiting Bella one night against orders, I hinted at what had happened to me. She came around days later and seemed to accept it.


I felt like I was making some headway with Bella; I knew she had feelings for me even though she was too hardheaded to admit it. The day arrived though, when she chucked away everything I had worked for, and ran back to the miserable leech that left her broken and alone that day in September. Apparently, saving her from Davy Jones' locker didn't account for anything either.

I couldn't understand how she could forgive what that uncaring thing had done to her. One step forward—two steps back. I felt betrayed; after all, it was that same vampire coven that doomed me to my life as a dog! I would have gone to pieces if Asa hadn't come back into my life. In a way, I wouldn't have blamed her one bit if she stayed away forever. She was a good friend, but was always playing second fiddle to the girl that stomped on my heart so many times.

Edward freakin' Cullen wouldn't let Bella out of his sight, so her visits were very infrequent. Asa filled up my lonely days with conversation, empathy, plates of cookies and a million dollar smile.


I was having trouble with the Rabbit—again, and was messin' around with the engine, when Asa walked in. I had just hit my head on the stupid hood and was wailing with every cuss word imaginable. She grinned at me impishly, and asked in a low voice, "Need some help there, ? And maybe a thesaurus."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, as I rubbed the sore spot on my head.

She placed her hands on her hips and replied, "It means that there are lots of words out there besides #%$*# *^%$!"

"And your point is?"

Asa walked closer and combed her fingers through my hair. Now why didn't Bella ever do that? "Never mind, did you want my help or not?"

Ducking my head back under the hood, I said, "Sure, sure, can you hand me the socket wrench. It's over there by the—"

Before I could get all the words out, the wrench was in my hand. That was a surprise. Here was a girl who knew what a socket wrench was, huh. I reached my arm out behind me, with my palm facing up. "Hey, Ace, I need the radiator hose clamp too. It's next to—"

She placed the metal clamp in my open palm. I was speechless for a couple of minutes.

She slid her head in over the engine, next to mine. "What the flu shot! I didn't know you were into cars. Did you build this '86 Rabbit all by yourself."

"Yeah, I had a little help from my boys though. Wait a minute . . . How do you know so much about cars?"

Her voice was animated in her excitement. "Are you kidding me? I told you my dad used to do some stock car racing. I've been his assistant mechanic since I was three years old. Right now, I'm helping my dad and my brother rebuild an old Porsche. We're putting a '72, two cylinder, two liter engine into a '73 Porsche 914 body.

"By the way, how come Bella gets to be back here, and I haven't been invited?"

I turned my head after I finished tightening down the clamp on the hose. "Jeez, I never figured you for the get your hands dirty type of girl. You're always dressed so pretty, and I didn't want you to get your clothes all greasy."

"Oh fudge apples! You mean to tell me that if I came over here in a dirty old tee shirt, and some ratty jeans, that you'd let me play with your engine?"

I was not gonna touch that line, nooo sir . . . "Do you even own an old tee shirt and ratty jeans?"

"Heck, yeah. Maybe I'll wear them tomorrow."

I pulled myself out of the Rabbit's jaws and Asa did the same. I gave her a high five with my grease-coated palm, and brayed, "You are on, girl!"

She leaned down with her cheek set on her hand, her elbow on the frame of the car. Admiring the Rabbit, she sighed, "I wish I could rebuild a car of my own. This is a real beauty, Jake."

Standing up again, she sported a dark grease stain across the side of her face. I picked up a rag and wiped my hands on it, then I picked up another clean one. "Hey, Ace, c'mere."

Asa closed the gap between us, her brows knit in confusion. I touched her cheek with the cloth, erasing the grease mark from her sweet face. She moved closer, her warm breath tickling my neck, and damn, that scent was doin' funny things to my engine. Her head was tipped up to me, and those eyes made my breath catch in my throat. I dropped my hand quickly and pulled back. This was starting to get complicated. I was in love with Bella, so why did Asa suddenly make me feel this way. Maybe Quil was right. Was I sure that we were just friends?


I guess the lousy tick allowed Bella to visit more often. That meant that I saw less and less of Asa and I felt that a piece of my life was missing. Calling her one night, I tried coaxing her to come see me. "Hey, Ace, I miss you. Why don't you hop on over here once in a while?"

Her voice sounded strained. "I've been busy studying for exams and helping Ethan with the Porsche. I'm really sorry."

Something didn't sound right. "No, that's not it. What's goin on, Ace?" I wasn't gonna let her beat around the bush. Hell, I wanted the truth, even if it stung a bit.

"I just feel like a fifth wheel. I don't want to be an intruder."

A fifth wheel? "That's not true. Just because I'm in love with Bella doesn't mean I don't have time for you."

"All right, maybe that's not the way to put it. I'm more like a spare tire. When Bella's there, you don't need me cramping your style. Then when she's gone, you take me out, dust me off and use me until she comes back to you. I don't want to be the spare tire anymore."

A twinge of guilt knotted up my stomach. Her words sunk in; it was true. I was using her like a spare tire, just as Bella used me over and over again.

I started to panic. Running my hand through my hair, I spoke softly. I needed her in my life, she was a part of me now. "Okay, I hear you. Let's get back on track then. How can I make this better?"

She hesitated, and for a second; I thought she had hung up. "There's a party for Ethan this Saturday. You want to come?"

Breathing a sigh of relief, I accepted, "Sure, sure. I hope the Rabbit's running by then."


I put on my best shirt and slacks. I even slapped on some men's cologne. It immediately dawned on me that I didn't dress like this for Bella. What was I doing? All these crazy thoughts were swimmin' around in my brain, as I headed out to the Taj.

Now for the test. I keyed the ignition and the Rabbit sat there, dead as a door nail. I pounded on the steering wheel. Not now! Of all the freakin' luck. I lifted the hood and peeked inside; it was too dark even for my wolf vision. Dammit, Asa would never forgive me if I screwed up again.

It took me a good ten minutes to find a stupid flash light. My room as usual was a disaster. I had to rummage through a pile of crap, and found it by accident. It fell out of a box as I got the container out of my closet. That was not the end of my worries, 'cuz there were no batteries in the damn thing!

Finding two useable batteries in the catchall drawer by the kitchen sink, I ran out to the car and trained the beam of light on the engine. The evidence was glaring me in the face. One of the battery cables had slipped off. I rolled up my sleeves so I wouldn't get any grease on them, and reattached the cable. The hood was slammed shut in my frustration, and I returned to the house to wash my hands.


Needless to say, I was late to the party. Looking around the room, I tried to find Asa, but she was nowhere to be seen. I introduced myself to Ethan, and asked where she was.

Ethan was a tall, average looking Joe, with dark hair and eyes. He had a couple days of stubble on his face. I guess some girls like that sort of look. "So, you're the infamous Jacob Black. I was wondering when I would meet you. I was beginning to think you were an imaginary friend." He swiveled his neck, this way and that.

"She's here somewhere. Oh, wait—I guess she's not back yet. I heard one of the college guys say he wanted to take her outside to see his new Corvette. It's parked down the street. You can't miss it."

And I didn't miss it, nor did I miss hearing her say. "I said no. Now, let's get back to the party."

"I've got a better idea; let's have our own little private party. Just you and me, doll. You need to loosen up a little. Have some fun."

I saw his hands all over her. "Let go of me, you jerk. I told you no."

"C'mon, baby, it'll be the experience of a lifetime. I'll take you to my place; we'll be back before anyone notices you're gone."

He tightened his grip on her, as she started to cry. "Please," she begged, "let me go."

I reached the two of them as he began pushing her against the side of the car, his mouth traveling along her neck.

I cleared my throat loudly, warning, "Didn't you hear what the lady said?"

He continued trailing up to her ear. "Buzz off, mister. Can't you see I'm busy?"

"You're gonna be a whole lot busier if you don't let go of her."

He craned his neck in my direction. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

"I'm the guy who's gonna knock you on your butt if you don't let go of her."

Turning around suddenly, he looked straight up at me, sizing up his competitor. He got smart in a hurry; probably didn't want his pretty face rearranged, if you know what I mean. "Hey, I'm sorry, man. I didn't know she was yours. No harm done. I'm leaving." He jumped into the driver's seat and took off like a bat out of hell.

Asa raced into my open arms. I held her close, kissing the side of her head, and smoothing her hair. Her heart was pounding; I could feel it beating against my chest. Her breath hitched, as a few sobs escaped. "You all right," I asked.

She drew back slightly, her eyes meeting mine. "Yes, but if you hadn't shown up when you did . . . I . . ."

"Hey, it's okay, I'm here now."

We were standing under a street lamp. The light shone down on her, illuminating the face of an angel. My heart skipped a beat. How in the holy hell did I not notice how truly beautiful she was? It was as if I was seeing her for the first time. The blinders had been removed.

Time froze as we stared at each other. Was she waiting for me to kiss her? I wanted to so badly, but I remembered what happened the first time I kissed Bella. I wound up with a bruised ego, and she wound up with a splint on her wrist. Oh, god, Bella—I almost forgot about her in that instant. What was wrong with me? I pulled back, letting my guard up again. Jeez, did I imagine it or was there hurt in her eyes once more?

I walked with her back to the party; our intimate moment but a memory.


Life was the pits. I was confused. I still loved Bella, or so I thought, and tried my darnedest to make her see reason. To make matters worse, there was a battle brewing and I could sense that life would never be the same for any of us.

And so the time came when the newborn battle was imminent. Our whole pack was dragged into it. I didn't mind so much. At least this time I could kill a few of those reeking bloodsuckers. The silver lining was that kiss on the top of the mountain. She had come to her senses; Bella loved me, but sadly, my joy ended too quickly. I got nailed by a leech who had shattered the whole right side of my body. To top it off, Bella had come to my bedside that very day to confess that she had chosen Edward. My heart was just as crushed as my bones had been. I wanted to die; in fact, I wished I had died. It would have been better than the searing pain in my heart on seeing her walk out my bedroom door.

Asa came by every so often, but I wasn't much company. She did her best to cheer me up, but I was a lifeless blob. The light had gone out of me. I got up on my crutches one day—keeping the charade alive about my accident—and sat at the base of our driftwood bench, wallowing in self pity. The tears were streaming down my face when I heard someone walking toward me. Her scent preceded her, and I knew it was Asa. Standing before me, she noticed my tears and knelt down by my side. Asa cupped her hands about my face, and kissed each drop away. Snuggling her chin into my neck, she ran her hand along the back of my head, her other hand clasped tightly around my shoulder. We sat like that together, not uttering a word. What would I do without her comforting touch?


Somehow, Asa's dad got a hold of an old '98 Maserati, a 3200 GT. Asa could barely restrain her bubbling enthusiasm. "I can't believe it; I'll be building my own race car." She was practically jumping up and down, and had a firm grip on my shoulders, shaking me. I couldn't help grinning, her excitement was contagious. Her dad had dropped it off at the Taj that morning. It needed a paint job, and obviously a lot of replacement parts, but that didn't seem to discourage the girl. The words were pouring out of her in buckets. "What the flu shot! Jake," she squealed, "Just think—it's got a 3.2 liter, twin turbocharged V8 engine. It produces 370 horse power, goes 0-60mph in 5.5 seconds. 5.5 seconds, Jake—it can race at 177mph, top speed. I'm in heaven; somebody friggin' pinch me!"

Her arms were around my neck; we were both breathless with laughter. As we danced around the garage, I caught a familiar scent, and turned to spot Bella walking into the garage with eyes red from crying. Asa noticed my tension, and looking around, dropped her arms to her sides. It was as if an avalanche of ice had tumbled down on top of us. Her face clouded over, as she whispered, "I guess the party's over, huh. I'll see you later, Jake."

I grabbed her arm, preventing her from leaving. "No, Ace, please stay. I don't want you to leave. Go wait for me in the house. I'll be there in a few minutes." I nodded at her while she slowly walked out of the garage.

I can't say that I was happy to see Bella this time. I was even feeling pissed—really pissed. She came toward me with her big chocolate eyes looking so sad. Her arms were out, reaching for me, but this time I stepped back. "Why are you here, Bella?"

Looking down at her hands, she answered, "Do I need a reason to visit my best friend? I missed you. Aren't you glad to see me?"

"Honestly, no. It just seems like every time I get to the point where I think I can live without you, you creep back into my life. My heart's just barely healed and here you come and rip it open again. You know, just 'cuz I'm a guy, doesn't mean I don't have feelings. Do you even want to know how many nights I lay in my bed all busted up on your account, crying myself to sleep—do you? I couldn't so much as move a muscle without the pain tearing through me. The physical misery I suffered was bad enough, but my heartache was more than I could bear.

"And did you care? Did you visit me, after breaking my heart? Even once?"

Bella hung her head, and spoke quietly. "I'm so sorry Jake; Edward didn't want me seeing you. He knows how much I love you."

"Did he take away your phone too?" I laughed without humor. "I left you messages."

She walked forward again, and placed her hand on my arm. "Let's not talk about that now. I need you, Jacob."

I stiffened at her touch. "You made your choice. You have your precious leech now. You don't need me."

"But, Jake—"

"No . . . I'm not a rubber band. You just can't snap me any time you damn well please and expect me to come bouncing back to you. I am so done. I can't do this anymore. It's too damn exhausting. I'm tired of being your spare tire."

She was biting that bottom lip like always. "What?"

"Never mind. Go home, Bella." I removed her hand from my arm.

She tried to grab my arm again. "I can't," she admitted.

I rolled my eyes in exasperation. "Why the hell not?"

"We had a fight . . . over you. I came here because I needed to hear your voice. I needed you to help me feel better."

Rubbing my chin in annoyance, I was trying to make some sense out of her gibberish. "So, are you saying you left him for me?"

"I'm saying I don't want you to make me choose, because I won't—I love you both, Jake. But, I can't . . . I just can't let him go."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Look—I'm not getting back on that merry-go-round. And I won't be that shoulder for you to cry on—not anymore.

"I loved you for years, Bella. But I can finally say I can let you go. We were best friends once, but now I have a new best friend, and she's ace in my book—one who's there when I need her; who's not afraid of me touching her. She always has a smile for me . . . she makes me happy."

As soon as I said those words, I realized that Bella had been replaced in my heart.

Her voice cracked. "Sounds like you're in love with that girl."

A smile suddenly lit up my face. "I think you may be right."

"Is this goodbye then?" she lamented tearfully.

"You can still come around if you'd like. I have to warn you though; Ace and I will probably be pretty busy for quite a while. We're rebuilding a Maserati, actually, I'm helping her. We wouldn't want to bore you, so it's your decision."

I picked Bella up and hugged her, kissing her forehead. "Bye, Bells. Tell Eddie and the rest of the undead, I said hello."


She left the Taj with the strangest expression on her face. I waited 'til I heard that ol' ancient clunker pull out of the driveway, then I ran as fast as I could to my new found love.

I entered the house excitedly yelling, "Ace, where are you?"

Billy was alone in the kitchen. "She's out front, Son," he muttered.

The door nearly flew off the hinges as I sailed through. I found her sitting on the ground with her knees drawn up. I grinned at her like a fool and extended my hand. "C'mon, girl, that Maserati's waiting."

"Wait—what about Bella?"

"What about her? She doesn't know a thing about cars, so I sent her home—for good."

Asa looked at me with alarm. "Are you crazy?"

"Yeah, so? C'mon, c'mon, you're taking too long." I pulled her up by the hand, and wrapping my arms around her waist, hoisted her upon my shoulder. I ran with her squealing to the Taj.

I put her down gently on her feet. "Hey, Ace, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot!"

I pushed her down, seating her on the old wooden crate. "Remember that day when I was complaining about waiting for someone to fall in love with me? You said you were waiting too. Could that someone you were waiting for have been me?"

She blushed brightly and looked away. I got down on one knee, and drew her face toward me. I looked into her bright beautiful eyes. "Tell me the truth."

Trying to avert her eyes, she tipped her chin slightly away. I grabbed it and held it there so she would have to make eye contact. "Maybe," she murmured.

I leaned in closer, "C'mon, you can do better than that. Maybe, or yes?"

Her eyes began to glisten. "Maybe, yes."

"Well, maybe your waiting's over. I've been thinking—where else can I find a girl who's always excited about life, puts up with my two best friends, bakes like Sara Lee, knows her work tools, and has the cutest freckles I've ever seen?"

Asa blinked, but didn't utter a sound. I started to get nervous. Did I get my signals crossed? "Jeez, I'm sorry, did I make a mistake? Please, Ace, say something."

I could barely make out what she was saying. "You're in love with me?" she whispered.

"Yeah, is that such a bad thing?"

She burst into tears. "What is it?" I pleaded.

She kept shaking her head, her mouth failing to get the words out fast enough. "I just had given up hope. I think I've loved you since the first day I saw you at the school. Every day since, you've become more dear to me than words can express."

Thoughts were milling about in my brain and soon reality started to horn in on our happiness. I was a shape shifter. Would she still think of me that way if she knew? And would this be fair to her?

I ran my hand anxiously though my hair. I dreaded what I had to say, but I needed to be clear. "Asa, there's something about me, that I'm not able to tell you—"

"You mean about being a wolf?"

My mouth fell open, and I lost my balance nearly falling backward onto the concrete floor. "How did you . . . know?"

"I've got all kinds of blood running through my veins. I have a little bit of Quileute mixed in among them. My dad told me the legends. I noticed how high your temperature was all the time, and how you stuck so close to the other guys. You'd take off for hours and hardly wore a shirt. I just put two and two together."

"So you're . . ."

She nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, I'm okay with it. I'd love you even if you were a cold one."

"Not funny, Ace. Dammit, I did think of something else not so funny. What the hell are we gonna tell Quil?"

"Oh fudge apples, who cares?

"Hey, Jake . . ."

"Yeah?"

Asa cocked one eyebrow. "I'm still waiting."

I pulled her from the wooden box and stood her upon it. My arms lost no time in winding around her shoulders. I gazed into her shining ebony eyes, and saw no hesitation there. "I love you, Asa Brandon." I said softly. Then I pulled her ever closer to me.

Our hearts were racing in anticipation. She closed her eyes, and I placed butterfly kisses on each one. I traveled to her ear and down to her jaw, leaving heat trails from my lips. I hesitated for a brief moment.

"Jake . . . please, don't stop," she entreated.

It's not like I needed any encouragement. My mouth sought out hers hungrily. We were no longer earthbound; we were on a one way ticket to paradise. My hands were busily entwined in her long dark tresses; her hand had grasped a handful of my hair, as our lips moved together. I never wanted it to stop. But, stop it did. I broke the kiss to the sound of someone clearing his throat.

Quil and Embry made an appearance in the doorway. "Just friends, huh?" Embry taunted.

"Friends with benefits, I'd say," added Quil in a huff.

Asa and I grinned at each other sheepishly. What could I say—love lost, love found. Who can explain it? It's like Asa said, you can't make someone fall in love with you. It can't be forced. You either fall in love naturally or you don't. And naturally, we did. Yes sir, did we ever.

The End