I've always liked this story, but I wrote it more than two years ago when ideas like 'setting' and 'atmosphere' or even 'grammar' were just boring things old fogeys talked about. It's not much better, but at least it has commas now. I hope that now I can say it earned all those reviews () I tried to keep the dialogue the same as the first version.
That reminds me, thank you to everyone who was nice enough to review a very badly written story! It makes me embarrassed now.
The Rurouni Angst story.
Kaoru stood back, a look of exaggerated terror on her face.
"What? You're going to fight all the bastards that you already fought, but have to fight again in order to save me, Sano, Yahiko and the entire world?! NOOOO!! Don't Leeeeeeave meeeeeeeeee Kenshiiiin!! I NEED you!! WAHHHH!! Why do you have to go?!"
Kenshin looked back at her steadily and replied.
"I must go because I am the most handsome multiple personality hitokiri in the world. My love for you is endless and, although I will never leave you, I must leave you probably forever, or maybe just until I become mortally wounded and must return"
Yahiko flung his arm out to point accusingly at his mentor
"Damn it, Kenshin, are you leaving again for absolutely no plausible reason at all? I'm tired of this crap. Forget this, I'm becoming a pimp"
At this Kaoru grabbed Yahiko's shoulders and shook him desperately back and forth.
"NOOOO!! YAHIKO!! YOU!! MUST!! NOT!!"
"Why not?" Yahiko snapped, pulling away. "There's big money in pimping."
Sanosuke suddenly fell to his knees, and pointed a shaking hand towards a patch of empty-looking air space.
"Oh my god! Look! It's the ghost of my dead boss again" The others ignored him.
"Yeah, Sano, you know, being on another plane of existence and all, I can see your thoughts and dreams, and no, I can't bend that way" said the ghost, in a voice only Sanosuke could hear. Rejection and sadness plagued Sanosuke, and he wept bitter tears. Yahiko and Kaoru flocked to him, and they cried together, so no one noticed the commotion at the other end of the room
"Damn!" Kenshin announced. "In my moment of silent reflection of all the good times I've had with you, my friends, it seems I've killed someone again and horribly mutilated the body. Woe is I! How can I ever fully atone for my sins, other than to kill myself in honor of my endless love for the loved ones I love?" He cried out in desolation.
Yahiko, now inexplicably wearing a fur coat and heavy jewellery, stood up and gasped.
"Oh no Kenshin! Because of the haze of eternal suffering and misery blinding you, you didn't see that Kaoru was just raped by the brother of the guy you just killed!"
"What, just now?" Kenshin spun around and took in the dreadful scene. Then he turned away, his mighty heart unable to bear the sight of his beloved Kaoru in such pain. "Damn! Now death is too good for me! But instead of hurrying to save Kaoru I must stand here talking for a couple of minutes, during which time Kaoru's soul will be irreparably tarnished for all time and I will be too late to save her, although over time she will heal anyway, and her soul will be twice as strong as it was before this preventable tragedy ever-"
"Kenshin!" Kaoru cried in agony "Save me!"
"Not now Kaoru, I'm busy. Where was I...? Oh yes, and she will recover thanks to the help of me and all our friends, but mostly me..... Wait, what was I talking about again?" Kenshin looked up, puzzled.
"KENSHIN! You BASTARD!" Even in her distress, Kaoru managed to retain her personality.
"Screw this!" said the man who raped Kaoru, and he dropped her unceremoniously to the ground. "I'm going home and taking my brother's corpse with me so I can bury him and promise to avenge his death over and over again, even though in my heart I know that's not what he'd wish me to do." And with that, he strolled out.
Kaoru, showing amazing recovery skills, stood up and brushed off her kimono.
"I hate you forever Kenshin"
"Um. Oro?" Kenshin offered.
"Really? That's so sweet! Okay! I love you again" Kaoru said and flung her arms around him dramatically. All was well. All was peaceful. The room filled to the brim with the love that comes after something awful – and preventable – has happened.
Just then, Saitoh entered the room with a gatling gun and shot them all to death before they could react. Saitoh lit a cigar and knelt by Kenshin, who was having his last angst-filled breath.
"I'm sorry Battosai," he said. "But it has to be like this. By destroying you and your friend's I've saved the government somehow, in a way that no one can really understand."
Kenshin opened his eyes and looked at Saitoh.
"It's alright my comrade, because although I'm dying and will be dead in a few minutes, it's for the good of the world and therefore my life is expendable, but why must Kaoru and the others die as well?"
Saitoh hesitated.
"They had to die because.... they're meanies and I hate them all! Boo hoo!"
Kenshin smiled gently, and reached up to wipe away Saitoh's tears.
"Saitoh, do not cry. I never got to tell you how much you mean to me, and I will die towards the end of this sentence. Saitoh.... I ...... love...... y...."
"Oh no what have I done!" Saitoh cried, throwing his arms up like an actor in a three-dollar play. "Now I will never see his shining face, which although I never showed it, was the one thing that brought joy to my hellish life of hell. I must kill myself now and be dead, like them, like kenshin, dead like the deadness of my own dead soul"
And then, with angsty sad music that isn't really there but easily imagined, Saitoh pulls out a gun and shoots himself in the head, hitting the ground with a gut-wrenching 'thud'........(angst dotting)........
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, especially not rurouni kenshin
Feel free to flame, I will cry and lament with mucho intensity.
