June 2014 A/N Update: Very sorry to my recent guest reviewers and to any current readers! I'm always surprised when I find out that people are still reading my fic, many thanks to you all as it brings up my desire to finally finish this fic. I know 10 years is a long time right? I was a teenager when I wrote this and now I'm in my 20s. Life happens (sucks, but it is very true). I have been thinking about finishing this as I've actually just recently found my old notes on this piece, but I can't make any solid promises. Sorry! So please only read on ahead with the knowledge that this fic is on hold and is not complete.
Disclaimer: I don't own LotR...*sigh* too bad though...
Fear of The Heart
~*Chapter one*~
Aragorn was sitting quietly next to one of the small fountains in his father's gardens. The trickling sound of the water soothed his aching head.
How long had he been sitting there? He wasn't quite sure. Possibly hours, just staring at his reflection in the rippling water. His mind whirled with so many questions, fears and above all, doubts.
Aragorn took in a deep breath and lifted his hands, palms up, to look at them. Weak, he thought. That's what he was. He was Aragorn so of Arathorn, the man destined to fail, just like his forefathers.
Earlier that day, Elrond, the elf lord of Imladris, had revealed to him his true heritage. He was the heir of Isidur. Aragorn bunched his hands into tight fists.
The same weakness and failure of his ancestors were in his blood, running through his veins. Was he truly destined to succumb to the same fate as those before him did? In his mind reeled with the events that had happened that same morning.
FLASHBACK
Elrond sat at his desk, located in his chambers. Aragorn had just arrived from one of his long and exciting travels with some of the Rangers of the North who he had met two years ago when he, himself became one of the youngest Rangers in Middle-earth. The other Ranger's only knew him as Strider. It helped his identity to kept under way.
Estel wondered to himself what was so important to his father that he needed to discuss with him. All he wanted to do was curl up in bed and give his exhausted body a rest.
"
Ada?" he questioned as he slipped through the open door.
Elrond tore his eyes from the book that he had immersed himself into to see Estel standing at the doors entrance. "Estel! You have returned. How was your journey?"
Elrond clasped his hands on his desk and listened intently for his youngest sons answer. "Great. We ran into some small orc problem. One of the Rangers was injured, but other then that it was quite uneventful."
Elrond stood and gestured his arm towards two chairs by the open fireplace in the far corner of the room. "You almost sound disappointed." Elrond chuckled as the two settled themselves down comfortably into the comfy chairs.
"It was a bit boring, but relaxing. Elladan said you wanted to talk to me?" Estel was curious as to what Elrond was going to tell him. "Yes...Estel there is something of great importance that you should know." Estel narrowed his gray eyes at the elf lord seated a few inches away.
It looked as if Elrond was having trouble what he was going to say next. "Please go on Ada." The elf's hesitance only intrigued Estel more. Elrond bit his lip. "It is about your heritage Estel. Who you really are."
Estel sat silent; he did not know what his father was talking about. He already knew who he was. He was Estel, and orphaned child taken in and raised in Rivendell by Lord Elrond.
"What do you mean?" Elrond licked his dry lips, he knew what he was going to say next would upset Estel. Elrond had always dreaded the day when he would have to tell his son the truth, and finally that day had arrived.
He took a deep breath, "Estel...you are Aragorn son of Arathorn. The heir of Isidur." Estel sat in his seat speechless, as he felt a stab of shock fill his heart. He could not believe what had come out of Elrond's mouth. It was a lie; it had to be.
The room was filled with a death stillness.
Neither said a word, Elrond watched Estel's reaction closely. Estel's eyes gazed up at his father, his face full of confusion, hurt, and betrayal. "But...why keep this from me? Did I not have a right to know?" His tone was sharp. He did not intend to use it on his father, but it could not be helped. "It was too risky, Estel."
Estel rose from his chair abruptly and turned to leave. "You will always be my son, Estel." Turning around, Estel gave the elf lord one last sad glance.
"I know Ada...I know." He whispered softly. He needed to be alone; to think of everything that had just happened. Elrond watched silently as the human left the room, feeling helpless.
Aragorn let out a heavy sigh. All these mixed emotions inside were confusing and frustrating. So far he had done a good job from hiding from every one, which he was thankful for. The last thing he need was to be reminded of the fact that he was not an elf; he was a human, a weak human.
Aragorn's thought once again dwelled on Legolas. Closing his eyes he remembered when he had first met the graceful blond elf. It had been 15 long years since the incident that caused the two to cross paths.
When Legolas had departed from Rivendell he had promised that they would meet again one day soon. Aragorn had not expected it to be such a long wait, but then again to an elf, 15 years was hardly anything.
Aragorn was nearing the age of 25, and he was an adult, according to human standards. He was constantly thinking about traveling to Mirkwood to continue the friendship that he once had with his woodland elf.
"ELROHIR!" An angry shout rang throughout the gardens, disturbing the silence. Aragorn jumped at the noise. Recognizing the voice to be of Elladan's, he scanned the area to see what in the Valar Elrohir had done to his poor brother.
Suddenly from out of the bush, Elrohir ran past him, snickering to himself. A few seconds later he was followed by a very angry, and very wet Elladan. "Get back !" Elladan's fierce yell was followed by a heartfelt laugh from Elrohir.
Aragorn allowed himself a faint chuckle of amusement; he could only imagine what Elrohir had done to poor Elladan. "When I get my hands on you!"
Once the argument had faded, Aragorn felt his heart once again fall into despair. He remembered the tales his father had told him, of his ancestors' human weakness. Fearing he too would be like them; destined to fail.
Elrond had been looking all over the palace grounds for Aragorn, when finally he came across the young human sitting alone, sulking. Slowly he approached Aragorn, who was too busy staring at the ground at his feet to notice his presence.
Elrond cleared his throat, startling the young man. Aragorn's eyes shot up and widened as he came face to face with the Elf Lord.
"May I sit here?" he asked gesturing to the empty spot next to Aragorn. Aragorn quickly moved his gaze back to the ground and nodded. A movement of fabric passed the corner of his eyes as Elrond sat down.
The two sat in silence for some time, neither one knowing what to say to the other. Sucking in a deep breath, Elrond decided he should start. "Estel." "My name is Aragorn." Aragorn stated curtly.
Elrond was taken aback by the rude tone in Aragorn's voice. Even Aragorn himself could not believe what he had said to Elrond. Placing a strong hand on his son's shoulder, Elrond squeezed softly. "You will always be Estel to me, my son."
Aragorn let out another sigh as he finally raised his head to look into Elrond's wise brown eyes.
"But-"
"I have raised you since you were but a baby. You are my son." Aragorn's eyes locked onto Elrond's, and struggled to form a smile on his face. He wanted to be strong, but this was too much of a shock to him. Elrond gathered the young human into his arms and cradled him. His hand stroked Aragorn's thick chestnut hair, gently.
A small sob racked Aragorn's body as he leaned deeper into his father's embrace. Elrond held him there, where they stayed for several minutes. Aragorn pulled himself away from Elrond and looked to the side, avoiding Elrond's piercing gaze.
Taking a hand Elrond placed it on Aragorn's chin and turned his head to face him. "What are you feeling now?" Aragorn shrugged him shoulders.
That was what he had been trying to figure out before he had been interrupted. That was a hard question. How did he feel?
"I do not , confused, disappointed, angry." Elrond raised his hand in front of him, silently telling him that he heard enough. Elrond thought that he had figured out what was bothering Aragorn so much.
"Estel, do not run from your heritage, embrace it." Aragorn mumbled softly. Wondering how his father could tell him to embrace something that made him weak. "You are not weak." Aragorn's head shot up, as Elrond had sounded like he had read his mind. "How-"
"Estel, you are the one who chooses your own path in life. Do not let the past control you." Reaching out Elrond placed his hand over Aragorn's chest, over his heart. "You are not like your ancestors, who you are comes from within, not from what your father was like."
Aragorn nodded, finally understanding what Elrond had meant. "You are still young, do not burden yourself with such unneeded worries." Aragorn was about to reply when the two head a sharp cry followed by a big splash and a few elvish curses.
Elrond and Aragorn got to their feet, exchanging small puzzled glances. They went to investigate the noise.
As they entered another part of the gardens they spotted a wet Elladan clutching his stomach as he tried to stay upright at he laughed at his brother's misfortunate 'accident'.
Elrohir lay on his back in a small knee-deep pond, dripping wet and scowling angrily at Elladan, not at all amused. Aragorn and Elrond both had to bite their lips to keep from laughing at the situation.
Elrond shook his head, wondering what to make of the two brothers. He walked away muttering softly to himself, thinking what it would be like if he had had all daughters. Aragorn could no longer hold in his amusement and broke down into a laughing fit.
Elrohir brushed away a strand of his hair that had plastered itself to his face. "Very funny, Elladan." His voice was like acid, but the threat was taken lightly as Elladan and Aragorn laughed even harder.
Elrohir splashed around the water trying to help himself out as he figured that his two so called brothers who were doubling over in laughter.
Later that evening Aragorn retreated into his room and flopped down onto his bed exhausted, but even so he could not sleep. He tossed and turned restlessly in his sleep for what seemed like hours. When he could not take any more, he got out of his bed and walked out to his balcony.
He gazed up at the black night sky speckled with tiny sparkling stars. Again his mind wandered back to Legolas. Wondering what the young elf had been up to these past few years.
When he did meet up with the elf that had saved his life, he was going to make sure that he got a rematch fight. And this time, he was going to beat the elf fair and square.
Aragorn chuckled to himself. He wondered how Legolas would react knowing that he was Aragorn son of Arathorn, a King. He remembered the distrusting and uncomfortable look in Legolas' eyes when he had fist met him.
Aragorn yawned as his eyelids dropped. It was nearing midnight, and he should have been resting. Going back inside his room, Aragorn finally fell into a restful sleep.
TBC..
