And Then There's Santana
This felt right. Santana thought. She had dreaded coming out but walking the halls with Brittany, forcing herself to resist the urge to grab her hand and hold her like all the other couples did at this stupid school was torture. But in the long run stupid Finn Hudson and his stupid big mouth had done her a favor and now she was free to hold the hand of the girl she loved. No one else seemed to care or even notice the two cherrios walking down the hall, hand in hand. She tightened her grip on Brittany's and felt a smile escape her mouth.
Of course Finn Hudson would round the corner at just that moment and of course Finn Hudson would think that smile was meant for him. Finn smiled down at Santana.
"Hey, Santana!" He called out ahead. He voice was a pitch higher then usual, like he was excited to see her, like they were the best of friends.
"Tubs." She nodded without actually looking at him. She snuck a peak to see the smile drop from his face as she passed him.
Santana felt Brittany's hand struggle from her grip. Brittany gave a frustrated huff as she stepped up to her locker. Santana followed and leaned up against her own locker, watching Brittany. It was such a rare occurence to see Brittany angry that Santana sometimes wasn't sure if Brittany was really mad or just playing some sort of game.
Brittany pretended Santana wasn't there as she slammed open her locker door, almost hitting Santana in the face.
"Hey!" Santana said as she jumped back.
Brittany finally looked up at Santana an apologitic look in her eyes but then she went right back to ignoring her, focusing instead on switching her books out for next period.
"Did you drink the green cold med-" Santana said. Brittany looked up and Santana froze. Tears were forming around Brittany's eyes.
"What's going on, Brit?" Santana could feel a choking in the back of her throat, nothing hurt her more then to see Brittany in pain.
Brittany looked down at the ground. Santana grabbed Brittany's face with both hands and lifted her face back up.
"Brittany, talk to me." Santana said.
"You're so mean." Santana dropped her hands back to her sides. Brittany wiped a tear from her eye as she continued. "And its just- when we're together, just you and me, you're so not mean. I don't know which one is the real you anymore."
Santana had always had been quick on her feet, she always had something to say, and something to retort but for once in her life she was at a complete loss for words. She couldn't think of anything to say, anything to defend herself. She felt Brittany slipping away and she couldn't do anything but quell that burning sensation at the back of her throat.
"I can't do this anymore." Brittany said to the ground before she closed her locker and walked away. Santana watched her disappear into the sea of students. Her legs felt weak, she was afraid if she took a single step she would fall to the floor. She wasn't even sure she was still breathing.
The bitter December temperature and the thin fresh layer of snow kept everyone inside the cafeteria. This made the outdoor picnic tables the perfect place for Santana to hide. There was no way she could sit herself down at the same table as Brittany, or even the same room as her without having to fight that deep dark feeling creeping into the back of her throat.
A gust of wind crept up her bare legs. She felt her goosebumps growing.
Seriously who thought it was a good idea to wear the Cheerios uniform all year long?
She preferred this feeling, though. She preferred fighting the cold over fighting the urge to cry. That wasn't Santana, she wasn't a crier and she had already hit her limit for this year. A group of voices woke Santana from her thoughts. She was thankful for that.
She craned her neck to listen. The sounded like they were coming from the back of the school. She recognized one of them. Only because she knew this voice and had spend almost 2 years deciphering her words did she understand what she was yelling.
"Please!"
Santana heard it again and was on her feet towards the source of the sound. Sure enough when she turned the corner she saw Becky in her Cherrios uniform standing with her back against the dumpster.
Three guys in varsity jackets were inching closer to her. Each of them was laughing.
"Seriously?" Santana called out to them. All three of them turned to face Santana. A smile shined in Becky's face when she saw Santana. Forgetting herself for a minute Santana returned it, before remembering the jocks in front of her.
She recognized the middle guy, short and stout with hair that was gelled way to high, a desperate attempt to gain a couple more inches. At first she was annoyed but now she was furious.
Josh Coleman, Sophomore Rugby Captain.
Who does this douchebag think he is? Santana thought.
"Did you finally decide to take me up on my offer?" Josh said.
"I'm sorry, I don't think your understanding the hierarchy here." Santana said, ignoring him. She pushed past him and his goons until she was standing next to Becky.
"Cheerleading..." She gestured towards her and Becky's uniforms. "Rugby." She gestured back towards the three of them. "Cheerleading..." She gestured towards Becky this time. "Rugby." She gestured towards Josh. "Cheerleaders rule this school, they don't get thrown into dumpsters."
"We can make an exception for a retarded cheerleader." Josh smirked. The two guys on his side laughed.
"So then, you are... a retarded football player?" Santana shot back. the smirk dropped from his face, she could see she struck a nerve.
"Now if you excuse us." Santana grabbed Becky by the shoulders and guided her through the group of guys. She had expect them to make space for them instead she was checked so hard in the shoulder by Josh that she feel backwards a few steps. Becky looked back at Santana and she could see a bit of fear of your eyes.
"Let me just set these elves straight and I'll meet you in the cafeteria." Santana said.
Becky hestitated but then she turned and left.
Santana watched her until she felt Josh's body moving towards her. She stepped backwards until her back met the ice cold metal of the dumpster. Suddenly Josh was almost on top of her.
"Speaking of setting someone straight." Josh said. Before Santana could react his hand was on her neck, forcing her face towards him as he leaned in. She swallowed hard, feeling herself head into a state of panic. Santana pushed his chest as hard as he could but he was already too close, and too strong. She could feel his minty breath burning her tongue, she thought she was going to be sick. His lips were touching hers. She grabbed his face, dug her nails and pulled.
Josh jumped back and grabbed his face. "Bitch!", he said.
Santana couldn't help but smile as she saw through his hands three bloody streaks. Josh lowered his hands and met her eyes.
"Bitch." he said again. Santana saw lights as something smashed against the left side of her face. She was on the ground before she could even realize what hit her.
"Dude." One of the other rugby guys said from behind him.
Santana was on her hands and knees. She was more mad at herself for not seeing that coming then Josh for hitting her. She would of jumped to her feet and kicked him right if the gnads if she wasn't still seeing stars.
"What? The no-hitting-girls rule is different for lesbians." Josh called back. "Especially the butch ones." He leaned towards Santana as he said it. She felt her blood boiling.
All ideas of self-preservation left Santana as soon as he spoke. "Especially when you hit like such a girl." She spat back.
Josh turned and kicked her so hard in the ribs that she was lifted off the ground and landed hard against the side of the dumpster. Santana thought she heard a crack and felt like all of the air had been sucked from her lungs. She grabbed her side and gasped for breath as she heard the rugby players struggling to contain Josh. She listened as she heard the door slam as they entered back into the school.
Santana struggled to her feet as she felt someone grabbing onto her arm to help her up.
"I'll take you to the Nurse." Becky said.
"No, I'm fine." Santana said. She was angry that someone was seeing her like this and more angry that Becky hadn't gone into the cafeteria when she told her to and probably had witnessed the whole thing.
"I'll go get, Coach." Becky turned to leave.
Santana grabbed her shoulder but the sudden movement caused all of the air to leave her lungs again, she whinced and grabbed her stomach. "You don't tell anyone about this, ever."
Becky opened her mouth to hestitate.
"Ever." Santana repeated. "Or I'll padlock you in there." Santana gestured towards the dumpster.
Becky frowned but nodded. Becky attempted to put her arm around Santana to help her but Santana slapped her hand away. "Just go inside."
Becky listened this time and disappeared.
Santana took a moment to straighten herself up and practiced walking normally without whincing. It took a couple of minutes of practice until she found a way she could look casual enough but keep her hands tucked in enough to prevent as much pain as possible.
Santana reached her hand to her burning cheek. She could already feel it swelling and was certain it was already turning shades. Thankfully she kept a jumbo sized conceler in her car for just such emergencies.
"I'm going to end this mess before I vomit from the stench of terrible." Coach Slyvester called over her microphone. She was wearing her usual red tracksuit today, but the practice had been anything but usual. Santana never had this much trouble keeping up and she wasn't sure if it was because she was thinking too much about Brittany or about her ribs.
Coach Slyvester grabbed Santana's arm as she brushed passed her. She waited for the rest of the Cherrios to file be before she spoke.
"Are you pregnant?" Coach Slyvester said.
"What?" Santana said.
"Last time I had a Cherrio make that much of a mess during practice, She popped out a fresh litter 9 months later. Now can tell me know or I will find out later when the squad takes their manadory pregnancy tests." Coach Slyvester said.
"No. I am not." Santana responded.
Coach Slyvester studied her up and down for a moment. Santana was sure she was looking for signs of a baby bump. She must have been convinced with what she saw, because she just nodded an released Satana's arm.
"Then get your act together." Coach Slyvester said as she walked away.
Santana watched as Coach Slyvester ducked out of the gym.
Santana bend down to pick up her bag from against the wall. She couldn't control her wince or her kneejerk reaction to grab her bruised ribs. She looked up to see Brittany standing several feet away, watching Santana.
Santana turned her body away and dropped her hand to the side, hoping she was convincing enough. She slung the back over her shoulder and marched out of the gym, ignoring the screaming coming from her ribs.
She slowed down when she felt she reached the sight of the doors, convinced Brittany wouldn't dare follow her. She heard the gym door open and close and heard the gentle fall of footsteps.
"Santana." Brittany called. "What happened to you?"
Santana stopped dead in her tracks but didn't turn around. She could hear the concern in her voice but she knew if she looked into those beautiful blue eyes everything would come pouring out.
"What, we can't talk anymore?" Brittany asked.
Santana felt her eyes narrow. She looked up but avoided those eyes and instead glared
at the side of Brittany's pony tail. "You broke up with me, remember?"
"So, that doesn't mean we can't be friends." Brittany said.
"That's exactly what it means." Santana said sharply.
"Brittany." The sound of Coach Slyvester's voice made both Brittany and Santana jump. "A moment?" Coach Slyvester gestured for Brittany to follow her. Brittany hestitated and then followed, glancing back at Santana.
Santana hesitated for a moment, deciding if she should wait for Brittany but then, remembering they weren't dating anymore, she decided against it.
After showering and realizing that her family probably wouldn't be home from their trip until tomorrow. Santana decided against spending another half-hour applying concealer to her, plus she was pretty sure she couldn't lift her arm away from her ribs anymore. Ever since Cherrios practice her ribs had been throbbing. She studied the developing bruise on her check. It was already turning a nasty shade of yellow.
She pulled her eyes off her face, threw on a t-shirt and shorts before heading downstairs. She was excited for a long night of not moving in front of the TV. Of course as soon as she got comfortable her door bell rang.
Santana opened the door slowly and found Brittany hidden behind a mountain of bags in her arms. Santana reached out to help her.
"No don't help me! Just-." Brittany stepped forward and Santana stepped out of the way. Brittany balanced and weaved her way through the doorway and into the living room. She gave a huge huff as she lowered the pile onto the living room floor. Santana still kept her hand on the door knob as she watched Brittany rummage through the pile.
"Close the door, Santana. Its freez-" Brittany finally looked up and stopped dead in her tracks. She looked up at Santana's face and tear welled up in her eyes. "Oh my-." Santana was suddenly wishing she had the forsight to spend the extra time on concealer. Brittany put her hand to Santana's brusied cheek, Santana grimanced and twisted her face away.
"Sorry." Brittany said. "Come down here." She grabbed Santana's hand and pulled her gently towards the living room. "I have something for that."
Santana was too confused to protest or even speak.
"Wait before you sit." Brittany let go of Santana's hand and sorted through her pile of plastic bags. She pulled out what had to be the most atrocious looking thing Santana has ever seen. It was a husband pillow with a high back and arms but it was bright pink and furry, like Brittany had spray painted Lord Tubbington. Brittany must have noticed Santana's face and held it up for her to see it better. Like she needed to, that thing was partically glowing.
"I know you don't really like pink, but this was the only girl one they had, all the rest were husbands." Brittany said.
Santana couldn't help but laugh but this made her side hurt more.
Brittany placed the pillow on the couch next to Santana. "Sit." She commanded and Santana obeyed and leaned back on the pillow. She was relieved when the pillow didn't move or shift under her weight, she was still half-convinced it was Brittany's cat. She had to give Brittany credit, even those this thing was hideous, it sure was comfortable.
Brittany pushed the ottoman under Santana's feet. Santana leaned her head back against the pillow, closed her eyes and let out a sigh.
"Good?" Brittany asked.
"Perfection." Santana responded.
Santana didn't look up but she somehow knew Brittany was smiling. She heard Brittany rummaging through more bags. Santana finally looked up when she felt Brittany's weight next to her on the couch.
Brittany was holding a square styfoam plate and picking at the corners to unwrap it. Inside was a giant slab of raw bloody meat.
"Brittany, what is that?" Santana asked.
"Its steak. For your cheek." Brittany said.
"I'm not putting that on my face." Santana said.
Brittany let out a sigh. "They do it in all the movies, plus its got to be good for you, it was super expensive."
Santana gave her what she hoped was the you-are-not-going-to-win-this-face and said. "Take it back and get your money back then, raw meat is not coming anywhere near this face."
Brittany frowned. "No its fine." She stood up and put the steak back in one of the bags. "I'll give it to Lord Tubbington, I owe him $40 anyway." Brittany instead took out a bag of what looked like frozen vegetables.
Brittany sat down again next to Santana, leaned in a gave Santana a light kiss on the bruised cheek. She then placed the bag gently and held it there. Santana closed her eyes and lifted her own hand to support it.
Brittany got off the couch again and rummaged through the bags. Santana lifted her head to watch her but the bag was blocking her view.
Santana could guess what she was looking for, "How about just some plain ice this time, Brit?" She called.
"Oh ice, got that." Brittany rummaged through the bag before struggling to pull up a large bag of ice. She walked over towards Santana.
Santana cringed. Her hands instinctively came up to defend rib. "No, no put some of it in like a plastic bag or something."
Brittany smiled and disappeared into the kitchen. Santana was relieved when she returned with what looked like a much smaller bag of ice. Brittany lifted Santana's hand so the frozen vegetables were once again cooling her cheek. Brittany then kneeled down on the floor in front of Santana. Brittany gently began pulling the side of Santana's shirt up.
"Brit." Santana protested, using her free arm to pull the shirt back down.
"Santana." Brittany mimiced, holding up the bag of ice.
Santana sighed and put her head back against the pillow. She watched as Brittany folded back the shirt to reveal the bruise. Brittany gave a sad sigh. It was already a deep purple, Brittany traced it lightly with her fingers. Brittany leaned in and kissed it lightly before lowering the ice on top of it. Santana sighed. It already felt better.
Brittany stood up and lowered herself on Santana's otherside, her 'good side.' Santana turned her hea. Santana studied her face for a while before a rush of unanswered questions flooded out of her mouth.
"How-? Why-? Who-?" Santana couldn't finish one without thinking of another.
"Becky, in Coach Slyvester's office." Brittany started. "She told us everything."
Santana sighed angrily and turned her face away, Brittany grabbed her chin and brought her back.
"She also said you threatened to padlock her in the dumpster, if she told." Brittany said with a grin.
Brittany leaned in and gave Santana a kiss on the lips. Brittany pulled away, just slightly, their lips just inches from touching again. She then leaned in for another kiss.
Brittany leaned back, she looked back up at Santana, grinning. "I figured you out, Santana."
Santana's eye narrowed. "What?"
"There's mean and then there's Santana." Brittany said knowingly.
She leaned in for another kiss. Santana dropped the vegetables and wrapped her arms around Brittany and drew her closer then Brittany had dared. Brittany tried to protest but Santana kept kissing her. Suddenly, nothing hurt anymore.
THE END
