The 3rd Mario Brother

How it all began After mourning the multiple deaths of his brother Luigi, Mario decided to
let his brother rest in peace and find a new side kick. So Mario held a
competition of wits and skill to find the next Mario Brother.

The winner
Mario walks out of the conference room as says "The winner is Smeagol, congratulations Smeagol you are the next Mario Brother!" Smeagol screamed "I the next Mario Brother, Smeagol is pleased.//Smeagol come back tomorrow
and we will begin to train."
Now I read your first part of your life story Smeagol, it was very
interesting I can't wait for the second half. But I need to get a few things straight. One when you fight the monsters in the levels you can't
pee on them, you have to jump on the kill them. Second Princess Peach doesn't like hobbits she is doing me right now. And third, yes toad is a mushroom, but that does not mean you can get high off of him in any sort of
way. // Smeagol understands. // Now lets train. Smeagol here is a turtle; remember you have to destroy it to get points.// Smeagol jumps on the turtle and starts humping it. // Smeagol what the f**k
are you thinking! // Gollum told me too. Plus he kind of looked like my last boyfriend. Well not a boyfriend, more like a sex slave. Did you know turtle could wear thongs? I never knew until I meant him, he had the cutest little cheetah man thong. He was a real keeper, to bad he died of a heart attack during playtime. Oh my poor Gerald. // Oh my gosh, I didn't need to hear that Smeagol! Who is Gollum? // My other half b**ch. // Is your other have a homosexual? // Nein aber ich bin ein Homosexuelle. // Stop speaking in German! God damn you Smeagol! // No, I am the homosexual! Not Gollum, he
likes bearded dwarf chicks. Me, I like a friskier fellow such as Frodo Baggins, with beautiful feet and soft curly hair (starts to drool). // Cut it out Smeagol, I don't know if the next Mario Brother can be a homosexual,
I might have to let you go. // I will get my lawyer.// Well, you know Smeagol there is always a first for everything. I am sure the public will love a homosexual Mario Brother. Just remember I am straight so don't get any ideas. // Okay, Okay I got it.? // Now, where did we leave off, oh yes see this Kirby coming over the hill jump on it twice and don't let it just on you. Hurry up he is coming. // Okay, I am on it! Smeagol jumps on him twice before the Kirby notices. How did I do Mario, how did this bad ass hobbit do? // Okay, Smeagol. You are finally learning I am proud. // What do you mean learning?! I have more skill than a six-legged monkey with 17
nine millimeter's, so don't you talk to me about just learning. I can't believe you don't see the skill standing in front of you, which happens to
be me. You know what Mario, if you can't do better than having jump on giant pink pillow with wings, quit. // Well quit I don't need you Smeagol, you hobbit thing! // Fine bye you over stuffed Italian in red overalls. My mom wore red overalls, what a girl! // Your mom + me - condoms = you. // Oh my, I can't believe you would stoop to that level Mario! Plus I know who my daddy
is! Well I think so, hmm.