Kawaii Alcoholics

Sealand sat patiently on the living room couch in his blue and stared pajamas, swishing his legs over the side as he watched his adopted parents. Sweden was adjusting Finland's bowtie as Finland, in turn, adjusted Sweden's neglected collar. It took them a few tries to get both perfect. Sealand thought that for two people who were required to wear something formal almost every day for their jobs, they sure did take a long time to put them on.

They finally finished and went to do other last minute chores: Make sure Hana-tamago had food and water, if rooms were locked and unlocked, and asking each other dozens of times if this is that and that is this.

Sealand giggled to himself as he watched the two adults shuffle around like mad men; adults could get so frantic sometimes. However, it was their first time leaving Sealand completely alone, so it was only expected that they made sure that everything was okay.

Ever since Sealand came into their lives, Berwald and Tino's time together became even sparser; with a kid to look after as well as their all-important jobs, almost all their time together consisted of folding laundry or putting Sealand to sleep. Neither had any time to just be alone and hold each other, like in all of those romantic movies Sealand watched.

Therefore, being the genius that Sealand was, He decided to help the two lovebirds out. He insisted that they go out for a romantic dinner together and not to come back until they kissed passionately on a balcony, or something romantic like that. Finland immediately turned crimson and said that they didn't need to do something like that; But Sweden thought it was a "g'od" Idea and said they would do it. Sealand heard some light arguing in their room before Finland's words suddenly cut off by something and he agreed.

Both of them were concerned about leaving the young nation alone, however, so they had to spend about a week planning to make sure Sealand would be alright. I'll be fine, argued Sealand; Sea-kun can handle its own affairs. His parents ignored the argument as they recalled the fire on Sealand and planned harder.

Sealand pouted as he heard Finland ask Sweden if Sealand could use the porch for the night, like he wasn't even there. Sea-kun could go on the balcony if he wanted to, thought Sealand, big nations like myself can go anywhere they please!

Hana-tamago jumped up on the couch and snuggled in Sealand's lap. He smiled as he stroked the white ball of fur. Looks like you and I are the only ones not running around like chickens with heads cut off, he said mentally to the little dog.

Finland checked the refrigerator one last time and finally strode over to Sealand. Sweden quickly was by his side. Sealand looked up at smiling, cheerful Finland and then expressionless, cold Sweden at his side. He laughed almost silently as the two contradictions stood side by side.

"Alright Peter," Finland said, "It's almost time for us to go. Now this is your first time alone, so we expect you to behave: No staying up past midnight, no wandering around at night, and no going in our room. I already cooked you some dinner and it's in the refrigerator for when you get hungry. If Hanatamago is barking he probably—"

Wonder what jerk England is doing right now, Sealand thought as Finland went on his endless parenting rant, probably bullying some other small country while drinking his stupid tea. Maybe I can launch a surprise attack on him tonight. I could get Latvia and we could, like bombard him with whales and stuff. He would never see it coming!

"—A fire, there's a fire extinguisher in the supply closet. If you need anything, my number is—"

"358-433-6780. Sea-kun knows, Sea-kun knows," He waved a hand at Finland, "You two just go and enjoy yourselves; Sea-kun can take care of himself."

"Okay," Finland said hesitantly, "...But just to make sure, maybe we could call Estonia and—"

Sweden grabbed the Finn's arm and gave him a warm glance—well, warm for Sweden, at least. Finland stared at him a few seconds before shallowly nodding his head. He then looked back to Sealand and said, "Alright…just make sure you're safe, okay."

Sealand sighed and hopped up from the couch. He got behind the two and started to push them to the door. "I'll be fine!" he said as he pushed, "Now go and have a romantic evening, darn it!"

Finland blushed as he looked up at smiling Sweden. He bent down to hug, kiss Sealand goodbye, and walked to the door. Sweden shook Sealand's hand awkwardly and joined his wife. He held the door for Finland and they both left into the already dark night.

"Just want to remind you," Finland said, coming back suddenly, "If I don't seem to pick up, Sweden's number is—"

Sweden grabbed Finland again and pulled him away. He heard Finland yelling out something as their car drove off.

Sealand sighed and stood in the now empty house. Finally, he was free! No parents; no rules; no anything! He was a free nation tonight; he could do whatever he wanted, all night long. No restrictions, just freedom. Sweet, sweet freedom!

…He went to the couch and turned on the TV for some cartoons.

It was about eight thirty when Sealand's stomach began to grumble. He did one last line before he put the sketchpad and crayons down. Before him was a drawing of a tall, red colored man with a yellow shrub on his head, a shorter, purple colored man with random lines of pale yellow on his head, and a giant, blue colored man with a sailor's cap on and sparkles all around him. Now that is artwork, Thought Sealand, so much better than anything Italy or Japan could ever make.

He stomach growled a second time and he wasn't able to ignore it anymore. He got up and went to the kitchen, Hana-tamago waddling after him. He opened the refrigerator and looked for the dinner Finland had prepared for him. He found a big pot with a piece of paper reading "SEALAND" in big bold letters and a heart under it. Sealand sighed; Finland was a little over the top sometimes.

He took out the pot and searched it. Inside was pickled herring, Cabbage rolls, some Lohikeitto—Salmon soup, and some Salmiakki on the side. Sealand grimaced at the excuse for a meal and felt his stomach recoil at the pure sight of it. This is no meal for Sea-kun, thought Sealand. Sealand is a growing nation; he needs real food for nourishment so he can grow big and strong and beat jerk England.

He picked up the phone, called, Pizza Hut, and ordered a large Pizza with everything on it. Except for anchovies. England loved anchovies.

Just as he put down the phone, the doorbell rang and startled Sealand. He wondered who it could be. Nobody usually came here except England to try to take Sealand back or Russia to see Finland. Sealand shuttered as he thought of the crazy Muscovite as the doorbell rang again. Sealand quickly walked to the fireplace and picked out the fire poker from the rack. He gripped it tightly in his hand as he steeped closer and closer to the door, his heart pounding with anxiety. He was about two or three steps from the door when he could hear himself practically panting. He placed a shaking hand on the door, raised his weapon, and swung it open.

Latvia screamed when he saw Sealand and immediately shrunk to the porch and shook like crazy. "I'm sorry I'm sorry please don't hurt me wasn't going to do anything whaaa!"

Sealand stopped cowering as he saw the scared Latvian holding his hands over his head. "Ah! Latvia! I-I'm sorry; I thought you were some kind of terrorist or something." He threw the fire poker back inside and helped Latvia up.

"I really am sorry," he said once more, hugging his friend tightly. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Latvia blushed and shook at the same time from the sudden contact. He wasn't used to people touching him this way, unless it was Russia trying to scare him to death. "D-don't mention it, I-I'm fine."

Sealand released him and welcomed him inside. "So what're you doing here, Latvia? Did you finally get away from Russia?!"

"Err, not exactly…China came over, and Russia told me to come over here for the night while they do…things…" Lativa shook his head to shoo the mental images away. "Anyway, where's Finland and Sweden?"

"Oh they're out having a romantic evening together. They must be swooning over each other by now." Sealand smiled to himself and congratulated his brain for the marvelous idea.

"So you've been here all by yourself?!"

"Yep!"

"Cool! What have you been doing?"

Sealand looked over to the couch and TV. He pointed to both. "That..."

"Oh…"

"I tried planning an attack on jerk England…but then I figured out it would cost a lot of money…" Sealand's head hung down in disappointment. "And all I have are whales and balloons."

"D-don't be sad," Lativa said, placing a hand on the younger nation's shoulder, "I'm sure you'll be able to attack someday."

"You really think so?!" Sealand asked, perking up immediately.

"Um…yeah, sure." Latvia smiled nervously.

"Thanks! I think so too."

Sealand heard Latvia's stomach growl and giggled.

"S-sorry, Russia didn't feed me before I left…"

"s'okay. I ordered a pizza a few minutes ago, so you're welcome to have some with me."

"T-thank you; that means a lot."

"Course we'll need some plates for it." Sealand said, heading over to the kitchen cabinets. He reached up for the high ones but came up short. Literally. He was too small to reach any of them. He thought of a way to get around this national dilemma.

"…Um…Latvia…?"

"Hm?"

"Could you maybe…lift me up please?"

Latvia blushed madly. "W-w-what?"

"I can't reach the cabinets because I'm too short and I need some extra height. So I thought you could lift me."

"Oh…um…I-I guess…"

"Good!"

Latvia slowly came up behind Sealand as he raised his hands ready. Latvia just stared, wondering how to lift him right.

Sealand noticed the awkward silence and answered Latvia's un-asked question. "Just put your arms around my waist and lift."

"Oh. Um...okay…" Lativa couldn't help but shake as he nervously hooked his arms around the younger's waist. He blushed even more as he put all his strength upward and lifted the other boy. He wobbled a bit left and right before steadying himself behind one of the cabinets. Sealand adjusted himself to go higher and the small of his back was right in Latvia's view. If it were possible, Latvia would have blushed even more.

Sealand opened the cabinet in front of him and found only assorted spices and sauces. He instructed Latvia to move to the next one to the right, which he did with a bit of unsteadiness. He opened that one and was immediately greeted with the pungent smell of vinegar and pepper—a very bad combination of smells. He closed it quickly before he got sick.

They moved to the next cabinet that Sealand tired to open, but found it locked. Whatever was in this one, Sweden and Finland obviously didn't want him snooping in it. Nevertheless, that didn't stop Sealand from easily jimmying the handle open and looking inside.

All there was was a big, blue case with a small label that read "Finland's Stash"

Curious, Sealand tried to pull it out, but found it quite heavy and difficult to move. He tried again, this time with more strength, and slid it out. He struggled to hold it as he felt himself wobbling. He looked down and remembered that Latvia was holding him up. With his and the box's weight, it was no wonder that Lativa was struggling to stand upright.
"S-sealand," Lativa said, wobbling madly, "I-I can't hold you anymore! I'm gonna…"

"Latvia, hold on, I'll just—"

"No time."

Lativa stumbled out of the kitchen and into the living room. Losing all the control he had, he fell backwards onto the couch; Sealand fell with him, dropping the box to the floor.

Both boys lied on top of each other for a moment, Latvia struggling to get words out as he saw Sealand wincing on top of him.

"U-u-um Sea-kun…c-c-could you…get off of me..?"

"O-Oh, Sorry Latvia" Sealand got off and sat on the opposite cushion, blushing a bit but not as much as Latvia.

"I-its okay…what did you drop?"

Sealand remembered he dropped the box and looked to the floor. Scattered around haphazardly were assortments of different colored bottles and cans.

"W-what is this stuff?" Sealand asked. Latvia got up from the couch and went to examine a bottle.

"…Mulled wine." he looked over another bottle, "Cloudberry liquor…and some Vodka. It's all alcohol."

Sealand eyes widened with surprise. The box said it belonged to Finland. Finland was an alcoholic? He never thought the sweet, caring Finn he had lived with for so long drunk. Then again, it's always the quiet ones.

Sealand sighed. "Well I guess we're lucky none of them broke. Let's try putting them back into the box, okay Lat—"

Latvia unscrewed the cap from one of the bottles and started drinking strait from it. Sealand's jaw dropped.

"L-Lativa!" he exclaimed, "What are you doing?!"

Latvia's lips popped away from the bottle as he coughed. "Having a drink."

"But that's alcohol!"

"I know. I drink this stuff all the time at Russia's house…or at least...I'm forced to…"

"W-Well you should stop. That's Tino's."

"It's only one bottle. He probably won't even recognize it's gone" He gestured the bottle forward to Sealand. "Here, have some."

"No! Sweden told me I'm not allowed to drink until I have at least 500 soldiers in my army."

'It's just a sip; nothing bad'll happen."

Sealand pursed his lips and considered it. All the other nations did drink once in a while, and Sealand did want to be a big nation one day. Besides, one sip couldn't do any real damage.

"…Alright, one," he said, taking the bottle. "But after that, we're putting all of this back."


Sealand finished the bottle in one large gulp and slammed it to the table, gasping in delight. "And so then…So then Hana-tamago runs under Tino's legs and he gets soooo scared! He ends up dropping the whole basket of fresh laundry right in the water!" He laughs hysterically at his own joke. "He spent another two hours doing them all over again!"

Lativa chuckled as he took another shot of liquor. "That is…that's some crazy stuff, man. O-one time I mixed Russia's scarf with the colors and it got all pink…" he randomly started to shake. "A-and then he locked me in a dark room for an hour and I had a panic attack…" Lativa hid his face in his hands. "Russia-san really creeps me out! I have to sleep with one eye open every night! And he's always there—always! I can't go anywhere without him being around some corner or something! I'm really scared!"

"Awww, don't be scared Latvi," Sealand slung his arm around Latvia's shoulders with a dazed expression on his face. "I'm sure…I'm sure Russia doesn't mean to be scary. He just...comes off a bit strong. He probably loves you a lot and needs you around. He's probably a really sweet guy if you try to get tot know him. Just try being nice to him and maybe he'll be nice back.

Latvia uncovered his face and smiled. "Wow Sea-kun…you're really smart."

"I know. Hey, wanna see my Sweden impression?!"

"Um…sure."

Sealand smiled before his eyes and café with dark and featureless and as cold as a rock. He stared deep into Lativa's eyes and made Latvia shake.

"H'ws th's" He said in a deep and intimidating voice, unchanging his expression.

"AAH!" Lativa shrieked, hiding under the table. "I'm sorry I'm sorry please don't hurt me Sweden!"

Sealand laughed until he realized Latvia was serious. His face went light and concerned as he went under with Latvia and patted him on the back.

"Don't be scared now, Latvi," Sealand said in Finland's tone of voice, "Su-san is gone now; there's no need to hide."

Latvia practically jumped Sealand and held him tightly, "WHAA! PLEASE PROTECT ME, FIN-SAN!"

Sealand smiled and pat Lativa on the back. "There there, it's okay," Sealand said in his normal voice, "the great Sea-kun will protect you."

Latvia looked up from Sealand's chest and his eyes filled with confusion. "Sea-Kun…W-where'd Finland go?

Sealand just stared down at him for a few seconds before laughing aloud. "He went out for a few minutes. Hey, wanna watch a movie?!"

"Um…okay…yeah, that sounds good."

Both boys got from under the table and took another swig of alcohol, taking a gasp of delight as they did. Then they both went into the living room and Sealand looked through the movie collection.

"Let's see, let's see…How about action."

"No; too much fighting…"

"How 'bout horror?"

"NO, TOO SCARY!"

"Alright…what about a Lindsey Lohan Movie?"

Latvia just gave a disgusted look. He wasn't that drunk.

"Right." He tossed it. He searched and searched until he got to the very back and found yet another box. He pulled it out and found it completely unlocked and with about ten to fifteen DVDs in it.

"What's that?" Latvia asked."

"Don't know. The box just says it's Sweden's and…"Mood Movies." He picked one out of the stack. "…Wanna watch one?!"

"…Sure."


The Movie started off slow with two guys—drunk off their asses—staggering into ones apartment. They made dirty jokes, most of which weren't funny, and talked about random things.

Sealand leaned on Latvia's shoulder, feeling his eyes starting to get heavy. Latvia face, already red from the alcohol, started to heat up more subconsciously as he tried to concentrate on the movie.

"…Nothing's happening," Sealand said, "They're just talking about how their girlfriends dumped them."

"I know," Latvia said, "Hopefully I'll pick up—"

The two men suddenly kissed each other. Both boys became wide-awake then.

Sealand stammered for words. "A-are they French or something?!"

Latvia just turned a deeper red as he figured out what "Mood Movies" meant.

One man pushed the other on the bed and they started to make out.

"What kind of movie is this?! It's just two guys making out with each other!"

"U-uh...Sea-kun, maybe we should just—OH GOD, ONE OF THEM'S DOING A STRIPTEASE!"

"GAH, MY EYES!" Sealand yelled, covering his eyes but still peaking out of sheer curiosity.

"H-h-how can people make movies like—I DON'T WANNA SEE HIS BUTT, THAT'S DISGUSTING!"

"OKAY, THAT'S IT!" Sealand hopped up from his seat as one man knelt before the other and pushed stop. He put the video back in the box and put it back into the dark depths from whence it came.

"…I-I'm sorry 'bout that, Latvi." He said, trying to get the mental images out of his brain. "I don't know why Sweden has those—"

Latvia was lying on the couch, eyes drifting off into space as they struggled to flutter open. He opened his mouth for words, but all that came out was a soft moan.

"…A-are you okay, Latvi?" Sealand asked, finding the boy in front of him to be simply adorable.

"Y-yeah…I just…get tired when I drink." He mouth stretched open in a deep yawn as small tears started to form in his eyes.

Sealand immediately beamed. "I Know! You can sleep over here!"

"W-wha? No, that's fine, I'll just—"

Before Latvia could protest anymore, Sealand tried his best to lift the boy in his arms. Latvia turned as deep a red as humanly possible as the younger boy carried him up to his room, staggering as he climbed the stairs. They came to Sealand's dark room and Latvia quickly turned on the lights to avert unneeded memories. Sealand Plopped him on his bed and smiled.

"S-Sea-kun, You really don't have to do this," Latvia started to remove himself from the bed. "I can—"

Sealand shushed him with a finger and laid him back in bed. He then got on the other side and got in bed with him. He pulled the sheets over both of them and cuddled into Latvia's chest. Latvia let a gasp escape from his mouth as the smaller boy nuzzled lovingly into his chest.

"…Latvia…are you okay?" Sealand said, Looking up at Latvia's crimson face with wide green eyes.

Latvia noticed he was shaking like never before, but he couldn't help it. No one had ever done something like this with him, not even Russia. He didn't know what to say; he barely knew what to feel. He just knew that this felt warm and he liked it.

He answered by hugging Sealand closer to him. "No…I'm just glad I came over is all."

Sealand smiled as both boys drifted off to sleep.


It was about three o'clock in the morning when a drunk Finland slammed the door open, crashing into the wall with a bottle of vodka close in hand. Sweden came in close behind him, a slight look of concern on his face.

"W'fe," he said quietly, "M'ybe y've h'd eno'gh dr'nk f'r the—"

"I'LL TELL YA WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH, YA BASTARD!" He yelled, taking a big gulp of the clear alcohol. "I DON'T EVEN THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO TELL ME ANYTHING, SEEING AS YOU DIDN'T DEFEND ME WITH THE WAITER!"

"You w're t'lling h'm he sm'led like rott'n cheese 'n th'n y'u p'rp's'ly tr'pped him when he w's late brigin' you wat'r."

" AND YOU DIDN'T DO A DAMN THING WHEN HE WAS YELLIN' AT ME, BASTARD! SOME HUSBAND YOU ARE!"

"'m S'ry"

"…Awww, Su-san, I can't stay mad at you~!" Finland suddenly latched on to Sweden, giving him a wet kiss on the cheek. "I guess I'm just a little—OH MI GOD WHERE'S PETER?!"

Sweden showed a slight hint of worry as his wife ran up to their child's room and tripped down the stairs, only to get back up and run again. he sighed quietly as he went after his wife.
He got upstairs and saw Fin land leaning on the doorframe, holding his hands to his mouth as if to hold in a scream. He went to his side and peeked in.

On Peter's bed was Peter and Latvia, sound asleep with Latvia holding Peter close.

"Isn't that so precious~~?!" Finland all but whispered. Sweden nodded. It was quite cute.

The phone rang downstairs and Sweden rushed down the stairs to answer it. "H'llo?"

"Why hello there, Sweden-san~! You wouldn't happen to know where my Lativa is, now would you~?"