Dear dam, moldy old note book I found in the gutter.
Hi, this is a new thing for me writing a diary thing…I feel like Carly doing this…anyway I will tell you about my self
Name: Sam Age: 14 Hair: Blonde Eyes: blue Best friends: Carly and Feddork! Blablabla I'm sure you would love to know more about me but I don't think you will care and you might fall asleep…zZzZzZzZ…too late.
I do a web show called"Icarly" I do it with my best friends, but one time Feddork quit on us coz of his stupid girlfriend then she asked if I wanted to go on her web show…some body was jealous but im not pointing any one out…hint hint…I have got to stop doing…all the time it must drive you insane, yes? Good.
I have a new step dad right and well he isn't very nice, lets just say he hit me and y mum more than once. He cut open my arm once just because I changed the channel on the TV he said it was important he watches the sports on TV and if I changed the channel one more time I would be sleeping with the fishes…I was like super cool sleeping with fish I love that I want to sleep with fish.
Sign me up for scuba diving lessons, yippee I can sleep with fish, wow imagine that. LOL
Im wasn't really laughing out loud I just say that to shut people up or just because I have nothing better to say.
So my teacher Miss Briggs wanted us to do this thing about something for home work and it was dew sometime next week but I clearly wasn't listening and when I asked her to explain it again she wouldn't tell me she told me to listen in class and because I didn't listen I got detention big surprise…not. Then when I asked Carly she gave ma a lecture about something but after about 10 seconds I got bored and drifted into fairy land. So I went and asked Freddie who gave me other lecture so I hit him in the face with a pillow.
You might be thinking im some what mean and don't pay attention to boring stuff and are lazy because I don't do my home work, well you are thing right my friend. You have learned well young one. I am some what dashed by your superior smartness I must tell you to put down this moldy note book and go hang out with Feddork and Carly I think you will fit in well with the two smart strait A students…zZzZzZ…oh no there I go again talking about boring smart people, but you have put the book down so you wouldn't know what I just wrote would you?
Wow! I am turning into the smart one…oh god no. NOOOOOO!! I know I will do something dum. Like eat some ham. BRB I need to get some ham.
20 minutes later
Wow that some good ham…don't worry I only had 71 slices. It's the only eatable thing in this "house" although I wouldn't call it a house more like a card bored box. It leak. One time it rain so much the water
in out house went up to my waist so I went swimming but Bob (my step dad)told me off and tried hitting me but I swam away so his hand hit the water really hard.
Wasn't that interesting? I thought so. Ha-Ha I am so funny.
Ok I know what your thinking, Bob? Bob is a stupid name I mean who calls their son Bob? That just weird Bob is so lame his name and him…ok…bob, what can I say? The name speaks for it's self.
My mother what little brain cells left to give me a boy's name? Like seriously some one must have hit her head hard, more than once.
If I freak you out then you would have put the note book down already. I got you again didn't i?
Ha-ha, lame me. Boring old lame boring lame boring me! Boring boring boring borin'. Ok I'll shut up now.
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Did you know in every awkward silence a gay baby is born? That's when Freddie was born…when some one was having an awkward silence LOL I have to say that next time he says something. I will so win and he can have wet pants again. Oh I love that. The joy of winning.
Did you know that my mum ate ham when she was pregnant with me? That's why I like it so much…she is a retard…no offence…really sorry if I hurt your feelings…get over it.
This is like so normal this note book thing…I just had a really good idea. Ok. I should have put
What happens in a normal day of Sam:
Nothing…
Ha-ha that would be good.
They should turn this into a book, no really they should. They will be sorry if they don't. Who are "they" anyway? Like people say "they" all the time but who really knows who they are. I mean for all I know you could be one of "them". You know I bet Freddie is one of "them" I know he is…that explains everything.
I wonder what I would be like to be one of "them" maybe you get lots of ham. If they get ham then I want to be one of "them".
Ok this note book is so bad it's all wet…I know I will ask Carl for one. Bye
Friday: life in hell, I mean school.
So I went to hell again today but my combination wouldn't work so I hit it with a sledge hammer, turns out that was Gibby's locker not mine. My one was the one next to his. His locker door fell off, Good times, well that was this morning. I got detention again but I don't know why I wasn't listening…Duh!!
I finally know what school is for. Its for daydreaming and harming kids I hate, and that's most of the school. I hate school but Carly loves it and Freddie loves Carly.
We where drinking smoothies after school right, and Freddie comes up and says in his geeky way "Hey Carly, thing"
So I said "Wow! That was so un-cool"
"Your un-cool"
"Wow! That comeback was so un-cool" Yes I won again in your face Feddork.
Would you like to know about my love life…yes ok
Sam's love life:
No boyfriend no crushes.
Easy right?
In science today the teacher was talking about time capsules, and yes I was listening but I was wonder how this had any thing about science so I looked at the black bored…oops it was history. So anyway we are doing a class time capsule and we have to put something in it I was thinking I might put this is but we have a month so yeah, I will wait till I have finished this and I will put it in the tin box and then some one in 7089 will read it and you are that person…if people are still alive, I don't think they will be. See we had to write about what we think it will be like in 2000 years so I said that's i thought dinosaurs will have killed of humans and then a meteor will kill them then humans will come to life again and it will happen all over again…get it…she gave me and F+ the plus was for imagination. I should have gotten A+ on that but no I got other strait F report card like normal. MY mum and Bob threatened tosend me to boarding school but I don't care because I know why don't have the money so HA-HA bob stuff you.
I didn't think he needs a capital B no way. Bob will never have a capital B NEVER I SAY NEVER.
My mum told me it was dinner but she was drunk and had a new tattoo over her face. It was black and said"I rock" I think it's lying she does not rock she is drunk and I am not going to eat what she made yuck. I bet she put alcohol in it.
Reminder: Get more chip and cookies.
I eat them when I can't stand my mums "Food" although I wouldn't call it food more like something a hobo finds in the gutter, I might give it to a hobo later. Don't think I will.
bob came over to Carly's and dragged me away in the middle of "Icarly" Stuff him, not with soft teddy stuff, hard metal and concrete , then throw him in the river and see if he sinks.
I like that last idea.
I think my mum and bob looks stupid together. Curse the day they got married. What does she see in him? To me I see right throw him like a sheep, you don't know they are there until you fall over them.
I made that up in English yesterday then I got told of for daydreaming. It was kinda obvious; I was looking out the window. I have to daydream looking at the bored so he doesn't know im day dreaming...but then he could ask me some thing I don't know that answer too. Then he would know I was daydreaming…ok I have done my entire thinking for one day. Night night, oh don't cry I will wite on your moldy old pages tomorrow.
So there you go one chapter done I will have the next one up as soon as soon as I get 2 R&R's hope you like it ….luv bluelover112
