A/N: Okay, who else was fucking PISSED with the way she left Gale and Katniss's relationship just hanging like that? TEAM GALE FTW BITCHES!
So if you're Team Peeta, do not read this, lol. This is what I think should have happened, 3 years after Mockingjay, but it disregards the epilogue. (So Peeta and Katniss don't have any kids.)
Disclaimer: Suzanne Collins is a much more talented author than myself; and she owns The Hunger Games, not me.
He touches my cheek and leaves. I want to call him back and tell him that I was wrong. That I'll figure out a way to make peace with this. To remember the circumstances under which he created the bomb. Take into account my own inexcusable crimes. Dig up the truth about who dropped the parachutes. Prove it wasn't the rebels. Forgive him…
Katniss's POV:
The images of the arena come less. They still come; I can't go a few nights without seeing Rue's face covered in flowers, or without hearing the screams of jabber jays, but it isn't as bad.
The nightmares that haunt me now are worse. Prim burning to death. Finnick being torn limb from limb. President Coin's lifeless body and President Snow's bloody, surgically enhanced lips, still reeking of roses.
Sometimes the dreams are so unbearable that I don't even know how I do it, how I stay alive. Annie committed suicide the moment she heard of Finnick's death. I wasn't surprised and I honestly couldn't blame her.
Annie was like Johanna; with Finnick gone she had no one left to live for. But she wasn't as strong as Johanna; she couldn't live for just herself.
And I suppose neither can I. How many times I've considered suicide-more than considered it, fabricated full blown plans- even after the peril of the war had ceased I'll never be able to count. Sometimes the torture of having to live while so many are dead- among the dead being your sister- becomes too much.
But I have Peeta. And Haymitch.
Not the same as Prim of course; and not the same as-
I stop myself. I won't think the name of the person that's been haunting my nightmares lately.
I haven't mentioned the nightmares to Peeta of course; he's been distant enough without this getting him upset.
So whenever I wake up I simply go to another room and cry, shaking all of the memories away.
In some of the dreams we're hunting again, just like we did for so long. Only then something attacks him. He's lying there, bleeding to death- and I can't, no…I won't- do anything to help him. How could I not? How could I stand there and watch my best friend die?
The only person I could trust for so long….how could I just stand there and be indifferent?
The irony of these nightmares attacks me constantly- because that's exactly what I do.
I go on with my life, indifferent to Gale, indifferent to all we had…
He's in Two now of course, probably much happier than he ever was with me. He probably never thinks of me so why should I think of him? Especially when I have Peeta.
Peeta.
We've been growing…distant again. And this time is worse, because we can't blame it on him being hijacked. No, the new doctors in the new Capitol have made many new medical advances, and they came up with a full and complete cure for Peeta's remaining symptoms.
Every memory he has is real and clear, not shiny and confusing or fake.
Every memory and feeling he has for me is real.
Which makes it so much worse now that…
Now that what?
I love Peeta, I do. And I know he loves me. He's always loved me, but…
The look in his eyes when I come home from hunting, it isn't the same. It isn't as elated. He doesn't compliment me anymore, not really. I try to invite him to hunt, but he won't come. I try to help him bake and decorate cakes, but he bluntly tells me I'm no good.
Finally, one night when I just couldn't take it anymore, I brought it up.
He simply sighed and said "Oh Katniss…come on. We're older now. You didn't think that star-crossed lover's thing would last forever, did you?"
The look I gave him must've made him feel at least a little bit bad, because he added "Hey now…I still love you, you know I do. So the infatuations died down, it always does. I just…I need some space Katniss. I need to think about myself for a change, to take some time to think about my feelings, what I want in this life."
This didn't make me feel any better; in fact tears were welling in my eyes. "Oh Katniss, you're misunderstanding this. I still love you, I just…" He shook his head and trailed off. We've been sleeping in separate rooms ever since.
He needs space? We're married, you're not supposed to have or want space. You're supposed to want each other, and nothing but each other.
He's all I want. Isn't he?
Of course he is. I mutter to myself. I settle down to sleep, knowing I won't get any real rest. I haven't since the day of the reaping so long ago; and it's even worse now that Peeta and I are…whatever we are.
He's right though, he hasn't thought about himself before, ever. I guess I can't blame him for wanting to sort through feelings that he have suppressed in the time of the war, feelings that may not have resurfaced until recently. After all, our relationship was and still is so…I can't even describe it, so how can I blame him for wanting to think about it, to question it?
My stomach churns at the idea. One of the only things I've ever been sure of is that Peeta loves me. If that's changing….who else do I have?
"Gale!" I yell, leaping over fallen branches to his crippled body in the clearing.
"Gale, what happened?" I ask, wiping the tears from his face. Why is he crying?
"Katniss." He says. It's almost a moan, a whimper.
"What Gale, what is it?" I ask desperately.
He just shakes his head and more tears fall down his cheeks.
"It doesn't matter Katniss. At least it doesn't matter to you."
"What doesn't matter?" The words come out of my mouth even though I know the answer.
"It doesn't matter that I love you. Because you don't love me back. You never will. I lost… I lost the game."
"Gale, please-…" I try to reason with him but his entire body is shaking and the wet tears are mixing with blood, and I can't tell where it's coming from.
"Peeta is the victor." He says hollowly, and then suddenly he's holding a nightlock pill.
"Gale no!" I scream, but it's no good. He takes the pill and the life slips out of his eyes-
I wake up screaming. Screaming his name.
I hear footsteps, Peeta moving around down the hallway.
But he doesn't come to check on me.
Was it that I was screaming Gale's name? No…Peeta hardly ever comes to check on me anymore.
How can he not? How can he let me suffer like this alone?
Sobs burst through my lips and tears fall from my eyes as I try to contain myself, even though no one can see me.
It's not even a conscious decision, rather an impulse that makes me leap out of bed, get dressed, pack, and explain to an indifferent Peeta that I have to go do something. He doesn't seem to care, he doesn't even ask what I'm going to do. So I just leave.
Gale's POV:
"So what do you think?"
"What?" I say, looking up from the rope in my hands. Finnick Odair had the right idea, the rope definitely…helps.
I look up to see Mercedes looking perturbed.
"Were you listening to a word I said Mr. Hawthorne?"
I don't say anything, so she just shakes her head and turns to leave.
"Mercedes wait!" I call after her. It's like an impulse, it's what she thinks I should do, so I do it, even if I'm not sure I want to. Things are less complicated this way. She turns back around, her bright orange hair shining in the dim light of my apartment.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?" I ask, a soft tone in my voice.
"I asked you if you would like to go to dinner with Pesto and Cravina tomorrow." She repeats.
"Sure." I say, even though I have no idea who Pesto and Cravina are. She smiles.
"That's more like it Mr. Hawthorne." She leans in to kiss me and I wrap my arm around her, pressing my lips to hers, automatically, because this is just what we do-
It's the startled gasp that causes my eyes to fling open and look to my door, which I realize Mercedes has left open.
A thousand emotions hit me when I see her face. And yet there's only one that I can process. Elation. Absolute elation.
The look on her face is hurt and shocked, and she simply looks at Mercedes and then back at me and mutters "Sorry for interrupting." Before turning to leave and slamming the door behind her.
I open it and run after her. It's what I've wanted to do for so long, it's what I should've done three years ago when she went back to Twelve.
I run after her, forgetting Mercedes and my apartment and my new life in Two, because there's only thing that matters, only one thing that's ever mattered.
Katniss Everdeen.
