Hey there ! :)

There is one month left until the vampire diaries returns.. I can't wait anymore! During my time of desperation (:D) I wrote this "little" one-Shot about Elena remembering, and I know that most of the things you already know but I had to write it down down ;)

This is my kind of idea of how.. Well, you'll see :)

Enjoy and pls don't judge it cause I'm no English :*


Dear Diary,

I am dead. And that literally.

I've cheated death too many times and it all started with Stefan. He saved me from the car accident, the one my parents died. That was suppossed to happen, that was my destiny all along.

And because I didn't die, death tried to sneak in in another way. Death let me meet vampires, two brothers who have been in love with a girl I exactly look alike. A deadly story, right?

But it didn't kill me, they didn't kill me.

Then death decided to send Katherine, my doppelgänger. I already told you why she came here, she wanted to hand me over and to trade us for her freedom.

Her plan failed but that was the first time I died. I couldn't feel more gratitude towards John, my uncle and birthfather who died to save my life.

And since then there was Klaus and his siblings who wanted me dead or at least Rebekah. I stopped counting how many times I escaped from death but now he got me.

The big question is how can I write into this book when I'm dead, right?

I died in a car accident. The car went over the bridge. That was my destiny all along. It was suposssed to happen and it did. I finally drowned. What death and me didn't knew was that I had vampireblood in my system. So I died and then I was reborn.

I don't know how I'm supossewd to handle this, I never wanted to be this. I do not regret saving Matt's life but with that I have to pay the prize.

I turned into a bloodsucking monster. I had my first taste of blood this morning and I hate it that it was Matt's. He feels guilty for this and he's ready to pay me but I don't want this. I want nothing but to be human again. Bonnie tried to find a solution but she failed. I don't blame her. There's no such thing as turning a vampire into a human.

In the end it was Jeremy I didn't want to leave alone, that's how they convinced me and how I convinced myself. They want to be with me and teach me but I don't know if Damon will be there.

Since I chose Stefan he was distant, more dark and cold.

All this emotiones are rushing out of me and there's nothing I can do about it. I can't control my feelings, my urges and the disgust I feel towards me.

I hope that this will be soon over and I can concentrate on selfcontrol and on Stefan.

At least I can be with him forever.

Elena re-read the last sentence of her entry. It was weird to think about always, she never had to do that. The latest events have been so intense, she was too deepen to deal with the fact that she was a vampire now than to feel anything for him or Damon or for anyone else.

Now that she was in her room and sorted all of her thoughts she thought about the fact that she could be with Stefan forever.

The thought wasn't as exciting as it should be, she didn't feel excited to explore the world with him and to spend their eternity side by side. Of course it was about Damon, it had to be. Not only Stefan would live forever, so would Damon. She would feel guilty for the rest of her eternal being.

And again she had tears in her eyes. She took a deep breath to calm herself down and decided to get some rest. Tomorrow she would be dealing with everything. Before she even reached the bed she felt a presence behind her. She was feeling the change in the air and the soft landing of feet on the ground. She somehow knew it was a vampire behind her. She turned around as fast as she could and was surprised for a second. Soon that feeling went away and instead she was alarmed.

"What are you doing here, Katherine?"

"Just checking up on my little doppelgänger, you know. Being a newborn is really difficult at the beginning."

Elena stared at her, ready to fight back. She knew that Katherine wasn't here to check up on her wellbeing. She was so sure that she came to kill her.

Katherine watched her. She was looking for some clues but it seemed that it didn't happen yet. Katherine stayed calmed, sooner or later she'd get what she wanted.

"Get out of here before I-"

"Kill you?", Katherine cut her amusingely off.

"Just because you're now a vampire that doesn't make you stronger and smarter than me, Elena."

"What do you want?", Elena asked her.

"I'm making sure that you will do the right thing. Just once in your life. Recall it, Elena."

And with that Katherine just dissapeared. For a few seconds Elena stood there, unknowingly what to do. She tried to understand what Katherine has told her but she couldn't.

Quickly she ran towards her window and closed it. She didn't want to have another unexpacted visitor. She was frightend about her vampire speed, she forgot only for a moment that she wasn't human anymore. She walked towards her bed as slowly as a human would do when suddenly a scene in her head was replayed.

She remembered standing in her own room holding her necklace in her hand. Why did she see that? She shook it off and made another step. Damon.

She stopped. There was something, something important but she couldn't put a finger on it. Maybe she was hallucinating, it was a long day and now she needed to rest because she started to see ghosts. So she went to bed, switched the lights off and curled herself up. Although she felt so tired her eyes wouldn't close. There was something on her mind and she didn't exactly know what it was.

"Cute PJ's."

Elena jumped. Was Damon in her room? She watched through the darkness and listened to the sound of Jeremy's snorring. There was no other sound. Carefully she laid back and closed her eyes and then it happened, just as if she was watching a movie:

"Cute PJ's.", Damon said smirking.

"I'm tired, Damon.", she answered and saw him get up from her window.

"Brought you this.", he said and held her necklace in front of her.

She felt a wave of relief wash through her. "I thought that was gone, thank you.", she said thrilled and reached out for it. Soon the feeling was gone when Damon held it away from her. She got a bad feeling now.

"Please give it back.", she said calm.

"I just have to say something.", he simply announced.

That was bad, she knew that was not good what was about to happen.

"Why do you have to say it with my necklace?", she asked a little scared.

"Well, because what I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life."

Elena could feel her muscles relax a little bit. She was sure he would say something about her and about something that she didn't feel towards him. She still remembered the day when Isobel pronounced Damon to be in love with her. She really hadn't believed it but now she was afraid about what he was going to tell her. She really didn't want to know. She didn't want this to be complicated so she just said: "Damon, don't go there."

"I just have to say it once and you just need to hear it.", he quickly said and came closer. She stood still and looked into his eyes. She decided to trust and to listen to him. Damon seemed to see that because he nodded lightly.

"I love you, Elena. And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you. Why you can't know this."

She kept looking at him. That was not exactly what she was imagining.

"I don't deserve you.", he said vulnerable and shook his head.

"But my brother does." That sounded confident now.

She looked him in the eyes and felt so sorry for him. She's never seen him so vulnerable and so human. He was so selfless she wasn't able to move her mouth. She could sense that he was going to compell her and somehow it didn't bother her. She wanted this to remember and she didn't.

Suddenly she felt his hand caressing her cheek. Just for a moment, only for a moment she imagined what it would like to kiss his lips.

"God, I wish you didn't have to forget this, but you'll do."

Elena saw a single tear rolling out of Damon's eye. But then she closed her eyes and stood there in her room with her necklace in her hand and she wondered if she had been wearing this the whole time.

Elena sat up in bed immediately. Damon compelled her! He had taken her a memory away, how dared he? She was angry at him. Maybe this little memory could've changed something but then again she shook her head. Only because he confessed his love to her so gently and heartbreaking it didn't change the way she felt about Stefan.

After this memory coming back she knew she couldn't go to sleep, not now.

So she stood up and sat down at her window and looked through it. Except for the wind blowing the trees she couldn't see anything outside. She thought about the returned memory for a long time until her thoughts drove off to the her death again.

She remembered the feeling of drowning and the panic that she might lose another loved one. Matt.

Suddenly she felt it again, something important. Would another memory come? She waited for minutes but nothing happened. She looked at the clock. It was 3 am.

She gave up on waiting for a possible forgotten memory and rembered again the relief when she noticed Stefan, who came to the rescue to save Matt and her. Matt. She looked back into a time where she and him were together. It felt so strange, as if it was a lifetime ago or even in another life.

She remembered how she strung him along and how she couldn't tell him the truth. She has been afraid of losing him. She even had called her mom for advice after bonfire. That night she admitted it Bonnie on the phone. That was the day her parents and her got over the bridge.

"Yes, you and my mom were both right, I just can't bring myself to tell him. At least not tonight. Bye."

That was the last thing she had remembered after the accident and that was what she had had to repeat several times. Always the same story.

"Katherine.", Elena suddenly said and then the next memory came back:

A stranger stood in front of her. He had dark, messy hair and crystallblue eyes which were so lightly in the dark. The stranger wore a black leather jacket and had dark jeans. Elena turned around to check if someone was behind her.

It was only him and her so she turned back to look at him. "No, I'm Elena."

"Oh.", he said a little dissapointed. Elena stared at the beautiful man. It was weird somehow that he confused her for somebody else.

"Well you look-", he started and Elena waited for him to continue. He seemed to be speechless.

"I'm sorry. You just really remind me of someone. I'm Damon.", he quickly said.

"Not to be rude or anything Damon, but it's kind of creepy that you are here out of nothing.", she said. She was so sure that there was no one else before.

"You're one to talk. You're here all by yourself.", he answered reasonably.

"It's Mystic Falls, nothing bad happens around here.", she answered matter-of-factly. Everyone knew it, Mystic Falls was a pretty small town, nothing bad ever happened here.

"Got into a fight with my boyfriend.", she chattered and couldn't understand why she even told him this.

"About what, may I ask?" He put his arms in surrender.

"Life, future. He's got it all mapped out."

"And you don't want it?", he asked.

"I don't know what I want.", she answered.

"Oh that's not true. You want what everybody wants.", he said charming. Elena was in flirting mode then. She liked the direction the talk took them both.

"What? A mysterious stranger who has all the answers?", she said and couldn't help but to smirk.

He laughed a small laughter. "Let's just say I've been around here for a while. I've learned a few things."

"So Damon, tell me. What is it that I want?", she asked and mocked her head to the side.

Damon started to approach her.

"You want a love that consumes you. You want passion, an adventure and even a little danger."

Elena was fascinated by this Damon. Everything he had told her was right. That was exactly what she wanted. He was the one who understood it, who said it out loud for her. One question popped into her head. "So what do you want?"

Damon got speechless. She wanted him to tell her that he wanted the same and perhaps they could share phonenumbers and see each other again.

But then a car came across the corner and she turned around to see her parents' car.

"That's my parents.", she said and when she turned around to face Damon he was very close to her and staring into her eyes. Before she could be confused he already started to talk: "I want you to get everything you're looking for. But for now I need you to forget that this happend, can't let people know I'm in town yet." And with that he dissapeared and she was standing on an empty road and her parents car coming to a stop.

Elena couldn't move. She sat there in shock. She met Damon even before the car accident. What was that suppossed to mean? "But maybe if you and I had met first.."

They did meet first! But that still didn't mean that she would pick him now. She couldn't do that.

And then the rage came. Damon took her two memories away!

From this point her thoughts weren't rational anymore. She went straight downstairs and got into her car. She would drive to the boarding house and talk to him. She just couldn't forget about this. She would give him a piece of mind, she was dissapointed, upset and angry. The tires under her drove at fullspeed. After she was done with Damon she would stay there with Stefan.

She didn't want to believe that the memories and the fact that it was Damons blood running through her veins had to mean something. "I'm making sure that you will do the right thing. Just once in your life. Recall it, Elena."

What the hell did that mean? While Elena drove as fast as she could and imagined all the things she would throw at Damon, she suddenly had the feeling that Katherine was trying to send her a message.

Finally she reached the boarding house. She entered it furiously, she didn't mind if she was waking somebody up. She went to the parlor and was surprised that the fireplace was still on.

It reminded her of how Stefan stood there and she broke up with him. Now she didn't feel any sadness, but that was because of all the rage inside of her.

She stared at the flames and then something came back rushing to her, another forgotten memory.

"Elena?", Damon said behind her but she didn't turn around.

"Can you really walk from here? You could call Matt, you know?", Caroline said concerned. It was dark and Elena was about to head home. Luckily Sheriff Forbes arrived from work and brought her home. She thanked Liz after she got out and made her way towards the door.

"Going home?" she heard a very familiar voice. She looked to the right at the bench of her porch and saw herself sitting there. Confusion went through her mind.

"Who are you?", Elena asked clearly confused. She thought about the possibility of heaving a twin sister.

"It's not important.", the girl answered impatiently.

She approached Elena and forced her mentally to look her in the eyes.

"Soon enough, someone called Stefan Salvatore will come to town. He will show an affection to you and you will return it. Fall in love with him, make sure it's only going to be him and forget about me."

The girl smiled as Elenas' eyes flattered and again she was left alone standing at the porch. She opened the door and went to bed.

"What are you doing here?", Damon asked her.

Elena turned around confused and looked at him. All the rage dissapeared immediately. Nothing made sense anymore, not really.

"I'm making sure that you will do the right thing. Just once in your life. Recall it, Elena."

"If you and I had met first."

"I was talking to Meredith and she said that it was Damon's blood that saved you."

"I love you, Elena. I don't deserve you."

"So you just came here to hand us out?", "Better you die than I."

"Fall in love with him."

"I want you to gt everything you're looking for."

The world started to spin around. Suddenly everything fell into place, everything that happened, everything that was suppossed to happen.

Katherine had compelled Elena to fall in love with Stefan, her love for him wasn't real. Katherine loved him and still she compelled Elena to love him.

She knew that he would be affected by Elena because of her resemblance to Katherine. Katherine came back to trade them all for her own freedom. Katherine needed her to be alive until she came back. With Stefan coming back to town, so would Damon and even he would be affected by her.

When Stefan and Damon loved her, they would protect her and till then Katherine would be busy by finding a werewolve and prepare everything.

Her love for Stefan was fake, that's why she didn't feel so enthuastic about spending an eternity with Stefan. When you're a vampire the compulsion wears off.

"I want you to gt everything you're looking for."

That was the moment of Elena's realization. She didn't love Stefan anymore. But she still loved Damon. She found everything she wanted, the passion and the adventure and even the danger- with Damon. That's why she fell for him and still was in love with him.

She knew that she loved him as she stared at him, feeling the love with her heightend emotions.

"I'm making sure that you will do the right thing. Just once in your life. Recall it, Elena."

"I made the wrong choice.", she blurted out and stared shocked at Damon. He stared as shocked as she did. What the hell was she talking about?

"You what?"

"My love for Stefan, that was never real. But for you.."

Damon approached her very carefully. He didn't know what was wrong with her.

"What you're talking about?"

"I remember. All of it." And with that her lips collided with Damons. To her surprise he kissed her back. She knew that she would have a lot of explanations to do but for now she enjoyed Damon's lips on hers.

From the outside Katheine was watching the two of them with a smug. She always got what she wanted and Stefan was sleeping upstairs.


I know, I know.. My English is bad. Hope that didn't bother you. Feel free to review ;) :*